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…": .- . 8 - Friday, February 23, 2007 Once again, turnover bug bites Blue in Minneapolis The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com By DAN FELDMAN Daily Sports Writer Sometimes, less is more. The Michigan women's bas- ketball team committed 25 MICHIGAN 53 turnovers in MINNESOTA 661 a 66-53 loss at Minnesota last night. The Wolverines entered the game last in the Big Ten with 19.2 turn- overs per game. But it wasn't always that bad. Michigan ave...…

…Wrestling Announcer Can't Believe What He's Seeing SPORTS, page IOE War On String May Be Unwinnable, Says Cat General NATIONAL, page 4D the ONION AMrERICAS FINEST NEWIS SOURCE o ONION.COM Child's Last Steps Captured On Video LOCAL, page 7A 33 49 Break out your ascots! Copyright 02007 Onion, Inc. All Righs Rervsed February 2007 1 Volume 43 Issue 00 Hamster Thrown From Remote-Control Monster Truck MILTON, MA-Tragedy was nar- Little People....…

…2 FEBRUARY 2007 0' the ONIO1i 2 FEBRUARY 2007 f4the ONIO~ NATIONAL NEWS IN BRIEF Description Of Hot-Dog Ingredients Fails To Ruin Picnic EVERETT, WA-Try as he might, Matt Cot- tone was unable to spoil appetites at Jack Pierson's Memorial Day picnic. "The absolute worst meat goes into hot dogs-animal parts that oughta be thrown away-and then they pump it full of nitrates and sodium and dyes," Cottone said as his friends eagerly devoured Osc...…

…0W4the ONION VOLUME 43 ISSUE 00 3 - 'I re _4k …

…4 FEBRUARY 2007 04 the ONION FEBRARY 097 the NIO PEOPLE EXTRA Cheap Garbage Disposal Can't Handle Femur page 7c Best Friends Make Eye Contact While Singing Along To 'Summer Lovin' page 13A Native Bostonians Unable To Defend Land From Invading College Students BOSTON-The now-monthlong invasion carried out by more than 200,000 college stu- dents who bombarded this normally quiet, historic city has forced native Bostonians to relinquish the...…

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…6 FEBRUARY 2007 ' the ONION LOCAL Few Of The Offended Guests Were Prepared Loving Gestures 'Completely Unnecessary' STROKIN' from page 1 Immediately following the "Strokin"' debacle, Doblewicz attempted to win back offended guests with Buster Poin- dexter's "Hot, Hot, Hot." He managed to generate a conga line with the whole- some, crowd-pleasing 1987 hit, but the damage had been done. "How could [Doblewicz] have possi- bly thought that awfu...…

…d the ONION OPINION VOLUME 43 ISSUE 00 7 You Will Know Love By Smoove B Love Man Erase all doubt from your mind, for tonight, you will know love. Let me tell you how I am going to lay it dowu. This afternoon, while you are on lunch break, I will have a handpicked team of florists cover your desk at work with a mixture of sen- suous-smelling rose petals. They will also leave a note reading, "Girl, you are most fine. I will pick you up at 8."...…

…8 FEBRUARY 2007 ~h NO Q-1 the ONION I …

…The B-side ~Ic didci~rnaI i Mchi www.michigandaily.com day F Last dance for Chief Illiniwek TOP: Residents of West Quad and South Quad residence halls lines up across Madison Street last Feb. 15 in preparation of the annual snowball fight between the two dorrs. BOTTOM: A snowball fight participant prepare to hurl a bucket of snow. ,e°"l tA tradition. - K Has the beloved South Quad-West Quad snowball fight become too dangerous? -~ By Walte...…

…2A - Thursday, February 22, 2007 MONDAY: TUESDAY: The Extremist Arbor Anecdotes WEDNESDAY: Before You Were Here C FRIDAY: Explained Buimpy's pilot Richard Manger met his wife while flipping burgers Richard Manger is skinny. It's a little surprising, considering he owns Blimpy Burger, an Ann Arbor land- mark that has served up greasy food for almost 55 years. Manger's relationship with the res- taurant began when he worked there as a Unive...…

…1 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 3A NEWS BRIEFS ROME Italian premier ousted after losing Senate vote Premier Romano Prodi resigned yesterday after nine months in office following an embarrassing loss by his center-left government in the Senate on foreign policy, including Italy's military mission in Afghanistan. Prodi aides did not rule out the possibility that President Giorgio Napolitano would ask Prod...…

…4A - Thursday, February 22, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com C714c d4.c an ail Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890. 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 tothedaily@umich.edu KARL STAMPFL IMRAN SYED JEFFREY BLOOMER EDITOR IN CHIEF EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily's editorial board. All other signed articles and illustrations repr...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Dance dreams dashed By MARK GIANNOTTO Daily Sports Writer CHAMPAIGN - At halftime, Illinois' famed mascot, Chief Illiniwek, danced for the final time. After he was finished, the Michigan men's basketball team might have made sure that 1998 remains the last time it danced. The Fighting Illiniused an early second- half spurt to propel them to a 54-42 victory over the Wolverines last night. Michigan, which t...…

…6A- The Michigan Daily -Thursday, February 22 the michigan daily PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE On Central Campus Call 668-1100. ! ! AVAIL. NOW or later. 4 blks. to campus. Effs. 1, 2 & 3 bdrm. apts. in beautiful homes. Monthly ok for some units. Rent neg. w/ long term. For appt. & price, 972-7030. For pix a2apart- ments.com or a2realproperty.com ! ! ROOMS avail. 3-5 blks. to UM cen- tral campus. $455-$635. Monthly tease ak far same. Rent neg. with...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com SNOWBALL FIGHT From page lA "He got on my back and started punching me in the face," Miras- eedi said. Miraseedi remembers hear- ing something snap when he was punched, but he didn't have too much time to think about the noise. A group of his friends pulled the man off of him and helped Miras- eedi to his feet. His face was numb, and a friend didn't see any blood, so Miraseedi rejoined the snowball fight...…

…8A - Thursday, February 22, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com All the right INGREDIENTS By Ben Simon I Associate Photo Editor A glimpse inside the kitchen and into the world of the South Quad Residence Hall's cafeteria staff Left: Esther Adeosun prepares the hamburgers and french fries for the day. As hot as it was working with the grill, Adeosun said she didn't mind so much, because it was during one of this winter's coldest weeks...…

…B THE MICHIGAN DAILY THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2007 Oscars for the masses thought about writ- ing this column about why you should watch the Oscars, since they have a great significance in society as a social com- mentary on the public's changing tastes on different issues. After staring at a blank screen for three hours, I threw in the towel PAUL The Acad- TASSI emy Awards are either somethingyou watch every year or would never watch even if p...…

…the b-sidel 2B - Thursday, February 22, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com ENTERTAINMENT BRIEFS Daily Arts does Spring Break By WHITNEY DIBO Daily Arts Writer Besides the few good souls who are doing Alternative Spring Break or making obligatory visits to their grandparents, most University students will be making a mass exodus to tropi- cal beach destinations this weekend, hoping to escape the arctic winter and drink away the tra...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com (oscars 20071 Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 3B Top of the mountain Which directors, actors and actresses deserves the laurels for 2007? The next three pages have the answers. BEST ACTRESS H aving already made a thorough sweep of 2006's year-end awards, "The Queen's" Helen Mirren is beyond the safe bet for best actress - she's currently resting on the most favorable odds in Oscar history. In any categ...…

…0 4B - Thursday, February 22, 2007 {oscar 2007] The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com He'll never win BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR T hough the early buzz around "Dreamgirls" has faded, Eddie Murphy still looks like the frontrunner here for his role as fictional soul leg- end James "Thunder" FArly. Long popular for his comedic impressions, Murphy channels that energy so seamlessly into his creation of an authentic, drug-addled Motown icon that he...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tthe b-sidel Thursday, February 22 2007 - 5B Less is more, right? He will no doubt be entertaining, but don't expect a win for Jack Nicholson tonight. BEST SCREENPLAY - ORIGINAL After getting stiffed for "In the Bedroom" in 2002, Todd Field may have paid his dues to the Academy and be poised to take his first Oscar with the adapted screenplay for "Little Children." Then again, Alfonso Cuaron ("Childr...…

…{the b-side} 0 6B - Thursday, February 22, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom TASSI From page 1B My advice to the Academy to get people to tune in this year is to make the show shorter. No one cares about sound mixing or what the best foreign language animated short was. After these extraneous categories are cut, the only people allowed to give speeches are the top.six categories I mentioned above because I don't care how many peo...…

…Maybe all those student loans really are worth it. A look at the University's six wealthiest alumni - and two very rich dropouts. PLUS: Why Mary Sue Coleman would have been better for Harvard lIie 1Midtciga n Da1j Ann Arbor Michigan www.michigandaily.com Wednesday, February 21 2007 From the editor Several articles that have recently appeared in these pages have been found to contain plagiarism. At least four articles by Devika Daga - three...…

…2A - Wednesday, February 21, 2007 MONDAY: TUESDAY: The Extremist Arbor Anecdotes THURSDAY: Campus Characters FRIDAY: Explained The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1327 www.michigandaily.com KARL STAMPFL ALEXIS FLOYD Editor in Chief Business Manager 734-647-3336 734-764-0558 stampfl@michigandaily.com floyd@michigandaily.com CONTACT INFORMATION 0 Dancing in the street Students partied like it was 196...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Wednesday, February 21, 2007 - 3A NEWS BRIEFS LONDON Blair to announce partial withdrawal of troops from Iraq Prime Minister Tony Blair will announce today a new timetable for the withdrawal of British troops from Iraq, with 1,500 to return home in several weeks, the BBC reported. Blair will also tell the House of Commons during his regular weekly appearance before it that a total of about 3,000 British...…

…4A - Wednesday, February 21, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com 40 Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890. 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 tothedaily@umich.edu KARL STAMPFL IMRAN SYED JEFFREY BLOOMER EDITOR IN CHIEF EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily's editorial board. All other signed articles and illustrations represent solely t...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Wednesday, February 21, 2007 - 5A Let's try to talk about dance Dance is hard to talk about. We don't often need to talk about movement in the first place, especially the movement of bodies, because explaining what we mean is usually as easy as doing it. "I was like...." usually suffices. But when you try to describe or to discuss dance, imitation is sometimes impossible and so we need some sort of ABI...…

…6A- The Michigan Daily -Wednesday, February the michigan daily a PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE On Central Campus 1114e83ae6lel2ca663b8f2dOb470cbd 505768260798600716a50f6baf85687d8 c7e2c65343925ab94316b67d871cfe345- c43373ecd6bf46a048913 UNIVERSITY TOWERS 1 MONTH FREE ON ALL MAY LEASES. ONLY A FEW STILL AVAILABLE. GREAT APARTMENTS & G R EAT DEALS WON'T LAST LONG. CALL 734-76 1 -2680 930Packard (Near E. University) $2900 negot. - Fall 2007 Co iP...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Wednesday, February 21, 2007 - 7A WAR From page IA University President Mary Sue Coleman and University Regent Julia Darlow attended the lecture, which was pre- sented by the Ross School of Business. Len Middleton, a Business School professor who attend- ed the lecture, said Salbi's sto- ries of women helping other women in war-torn nations were powerful and not some- thing that women in Ann Arbor deal ...…

…3 a 8A - Wednesday, February 21, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Blue in dire straits By H. JOSE BOSCH Daily Sports Editor The Michigan men's basketball team may have been pleased with its "signa- ture win" over the weekend. But with- Michigan out a victory tonight, the Wolverines' auto- at Illinois graph will likely fade Matchup: into obscurity. Michigan 18-9; Michigan travels Illinois 19-9 to Champaign for a 9 p.m. tip off ...…

…0 0 0 p & 0 0 Why you probably can't write welI- hate Shakespeare. I'm thinking of forming a support group of disgruntled students who can't stand the Bard. We'd meet late at night in Angell Hall, call ourselves Shakespeare Sucks Anonymous and have some kind of secret handshake. "Hello, I'm an English major, and I hate Shakespeare," we'd say at the beginning of each meeting. I'll tell you what my problem is with the author many consid...…

… 0 a V 0 9 NTeMc iga .al Wednesday, Feburary 21, 2007 The Michigan Daily le of contents THE EDITOR'S NOTEBOOK with WALTER NOWINSKI A look at the big news events this week and how important they really are. Conveniently ranked from one to 10. 4B THE WEALTHIEST WOLVERINES They came, they saw and they went on to conquer. The maize and blue begin- nings of eight of America's richest people. 6B BIG WOMAN ON CAMPUS Harvard's new president m...…

… ANNE- a ..e 0 0 -- 0 _ - __9 The wrong woman for the job Why Harvard should have chosen the most qualified person for the top job, not the most politically correct I assess Wednsda, Fbrury 1, 007 - Te ici D. QUOTES OF THE WEEK Scrotumsounded "(It)is just a wrong way to Sc u characterize the commander to Lucky like some- in chief's decision to do what thing green that is necessary to protect our comes up when you soldiers in harm's way....…

… U s V U 0- a 0 0 Th ihga al -W dedyFnury2,2 0 William Morse Davidson $4 billion I alumni (and two dropouts) Before they were the nation's richest, they sang The Victors in the Big House. These are the eight wealthiest living students who ever passed through the Engin Arch on their way to greatness. The ranking next to their name denotes their spot on Forbes magazine's list of the 400 richest Americans. From graduating in the Big Ho...…

…S MARA GAY: IF YOU NEEDED A REASON TO CARE ABOUT IRAQ OPINION, PAGE 4 STARS COLLIDE NORAH JONES MELLOWS OUT -TOO MUCH HENSICK HOLDS HIS OWN AGAINST NATION'S BEST SPORTS, PAGE 8 ARTS, PAGE S E iC t aI1 t l Ann Arbor, Michig www.michigandaily.com Tuesday, February 20, 2007 WOMEN IN MATH UNIVERSITY RESE ARCH Research begins at stem cell lab LIF REEDER/ Psychology Prof. Denise Sekaquaptewa discusses a study she co-authored that examined t...…

…2 - Tuesday, February 20, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com 2 - Tuesday, February 20, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom BURGERS AND BEARSI How to win friends and influence people I was running late to give a Pow- erPoint presentation in one of my classes recently. I scampered into the classroom, where I was sup- posed to present, and plugged my computer into the projector. I had already half-started my presentation. I f...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, February 20, 2007 - 3 NEWS BRIEFS DEWANA, India Fire sparked by train bombing kills 66 Leaders of India and Pakistan pressed ahead yesterday with their peace process, hours after twin bombs - apparently intended to disrupt their relations - sparked a fire that killed 66 people aboard a train that links the two rivals. The fire destroyed two coaches on the Samjhauta Express, about an hour after ...…

…4 -Tuesday, February 20, 2007 C The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890. 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 tothedaily@umich.edu "Are you sure you're not having a bad day? And tomorrow you'll feel differently about it?" - Los Angeles Salon owner ESTHERTOGNOZZI in conversation with Britney Spears last week, shortly before the pop star decided to shave her head, as repo...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, February 20, 2007 - 5 Fashion's new face far too familiar America's blind obs with celebrity life just motivate the t - it's also steered fashion, point of artistic degradati statuesque models once gr covers of fashion magazin stars and various other far figures have stepped in to the work of prominent des For the past decade or so, has driven the fashion ind deliver familiar faces to a gossip...…

…6-The Michigan Daily -Tuesday, February 20, the michigan daily PERFECT W e ANN ARBOR PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE LOCATIONS! On Central Campus Call 668-1100. RENT REDUCTIONS! LOTS OF AMENITIES! Offering 62 mo. Leases with no app. fee. Low $300 security deposit on & 2 bdrm. apts. 24 hr. emergency maintenance, garbage disposal, dishwasher, ! ! AVAIL. NOW or later. 4 blks. to onsieaundry, free srage campus. Effs. 1, 2 & 3 bdrm. apts. in pukn.Ptrindl...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, February 20, 2007 - 7 EXOSKELETON From page 1 electrodes attached to the patient's ankle that detect nervous system activity. The prosthesis senses weak movements and amplifies them through an air-powered pneumatic muscle. Ferris and Gordon have tested the device on healthy volunteers. After the prosthesis was placed on their ankles, volunteers gauged the comfort of the device while the sci- en...…

…8 - Tuesday, February 20, 2007 Pair of Hobey hopefuls duel 6 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com a Sims sits at start, but shows savvy By NATE SANDALS Daily Sports Writer DETROIT - Jeff Jakaitis's 5- foot-10 frame may not be impres- sive, but he plays like it is. The Lake Superior State goalie leads the nation in save percentage (.937), and his 2.16 goals against average isn't anything to scoff at either. So how do you score on the bes...…

…Cagers stay in Big Dance chase with win over ranked Indiana at Crisler Arena SportsMonday 112Midigan fail nn Arborvhichi www.michigandaily.com Monday February 19, 2007 Minority admissions plummet Numbers point to dramatic effect of affirmative action ban By WALTER NOWINSKI Daily News Editor The acceptance rate of under- represented minorities has plunged since the University was forced to stop using affirmative action in January, accordin...…

….I 2A - Monday, February 19, 2007 MONDAY: The E xtremist TUESDAY: Arbor Anecdotes WEDNESDAY: Before You Were Here THURSDAY:- Campus Characters FRIDAY: Explained This really old house The worn, creaky floorboards historic building shouldn't be on the second story of Burnham destroyed, the University offered House betray the building's his- Burnham House to any University toric past. unit that would pay to move the Burnham House, which gu...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com NEWS BRIEFS BAGHDAD Car bombings kill 63 in first strike since crackdown Militants struck back yesterday in their first major blow against a U.S.-led security clampdown in Baghdad with car bombings that killed at least 63 people, left scores injured and sent a grim message to officials boasting that extremist factions were on the run. The attacks in mostly Shiite areas - twin explosions in an open- air m...…

…0 4A - Monday, February 19, 2007 UPkNIO The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890. 43.untThis is the only issue in the history of mankind t', it E - 1 ?413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 that affects every single one of us." tothedaily@umich.edu KARL STAMPFL IMRAN SYED JEFFREY BLOOMER - Actress Cameron Diaz at a joint appearance with former Vice President Al Gore announci...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Suddenly "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" isn't looking so bad. Cage rides nowhere fast as Johnny Blaze By ELIE ZWIEBEL DailyArts Writer relative career rut. If you've seen any one of Cage's films in the past five years - from "Windtalkers" to If you're a fan of over-the-hill, "Lord of War" to "The Wicker Man" balding, mediocre actors playing - you've witnessed the shrinking of superheroes...…

…6A- The Michigan Daily -Monday, February 19 the michigan daily PARKING SPACES AVAIL On Central Campus Call 668-1100. E UNIVERSITY TOWERS 1 MONTH FREE ON ALL MAY LEASES. ONLY A FEW STILL AVAILABLE. GREAT APARTM ENTS & GREAT DEALS WON'T LAST LONG. CALL 734-761-2680 ! ! AVAIL. NOW or later. 4 blks. to campus. Effs. 1, 2 & 3 bdrm. apts. in beautiful homes. Monthly ok for some units. Rent neg. w/ long term. For appt. & price, 972-7030. For pix ...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Monday, February 19, 2007 - 7A ADMISSIONS From page IA underrepresented minority acceptance rate to the affir- mative action ban and said it is too early to understand its effects. Peterson said the affirma- tive action ban is likely having some effect on admissions, but that the University won't be able to get the full picture until early next fall. Still, underrepresented minority applicants went from...…