2B - Thursday, February 22, 2007
The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
By WHITNEY DIBO
Daily Arts Writer
Besides the few good souls who are doing
Alternative Spring Break or making obligatory
visits to their grandparents, most University
students will be making a mass exodus to tropi-
cal beach destinations this weekend, hoping
to escape the arctic winter and drink away the
trauma of midterms.
Whether it's Bermuda or the Bahamas, Daily
Arts is here for you. Here's to keeping you rep-
utation intact while you take the booze cruise
through Spring Break.
fling may evoke images of "Saved by the Bell"
summer romance episodes, in reality, Spring
Break hookups are little more than your basic
animal instincts. Don't be that kid who tries to
romanticize a drunken Spring Break make-out.
Avoid anything that resembles "Last night was
really special" or any other equally transparent
mantra. Everyone knows you're full of shit.
2. Avoid the guy with the video camera.
Even though the sketchball trying to videotape
your on-the-bar-dancing skit is probably just
some random local porn artist, there's always a
chance you'll find yourself on "Girls Gone Wild"
a few years down the road. Even a brief appear-
ance in that most classy of video series can ruin
your future career as a corporate lawyer.
3. What happens in Cancun doesn't always
stay in Cancun. Bouncing onto the beach with
a new person each morning might make you feel
This is your brain on Spring Break.
like a Spring Break superstar, but be advised that
every fellow Michigan vacationee there will be
taking notes. What happens in Cancun does not
necessarily stay there, so if you're hoping to pre-
serve that virginal reputation you've so diligently
built over the last four years, either keep your
hookup tally to a minimum or discreetly slip out
of that hotel room in the wee hours of the morn-
ing before anyone wakes up.
4. Watch how much you drink. Drinking
until you black out is never a good idea, but at
least in Ann Arbor you can stumble down East
University Avenue, pass out in a friend's bushes
and wake up in the morning embarrassed but
essentially unharmed. The streets of Mexico,
however, will not be so forgiving. You're more
likely goingto wind up either pick-pocketed or at
the mercy of foreign government officials. That
call home for bail promises to be the worst five
minutes of your college years.
5. No, really. The alcohol. Don't be the one
who pukes off the side of the cruise boat. Before
you start downing shots of tequila, note the sta-
bility of the ship. If it looks like it's going to be a
choppy night out at sea, do yourself a favor and
6. Remember that you have to come home
with these people eventually. It's just not
worth ending a four-year friendship over who
gets to hook up with that hottie from Arizona
State who happens to be rooming a few doors
down the hall. The newfound friends who consti-
tute your Spring Break trip may seem important
at the time, but remember who you'll be sitting
next to on the long plane ride home.
7. It's not going to be 20 below anymore.
At the risk of sounding like your mother, wear
sunscreen. A tomato-red face and an awkward-
ly shaped sunburn covering your back are not
attractive spring break souvenirs. They'll also
make grinding up on people at the club pretty
8. This trip isn't about luxury. Don't com-
plain about the quality of your $600 Spring
Break package. What did you expect? Did you
really think the food would be gourmet and the
rooms would look just like the photos in the bro-
chure? One day you'll be able to use your Univer-
sity education to land a lucrative job and go on a
real vacation, but for now, suck it up and enjoy the
inevitable grime of a true college Spring Break.
9. Condoms, people. Condoms. It should go
without saying, but try to avoid the Spring Break
lovechild. No kid wants to learn that he's a prod-
uct of one night of drunken passion somewhere
between St. John and St. Thomas, and that's not
even to mention the STDs. Take care of yourself.
So have fun, be safe and Daily Arts will see you
after Spring Break - gonorrhea-free, please.
Former Michigan football gold-
en boy Tom Brady was embroiled
in scandal this
week as actress
with his child.
edly waited to
reveal her preg- BRADY
she "wanted to wait to the very last
minute." Us Weekly reported that a
friend said Brady was "blindsided"
by the announcement, and felt it
was unfair of Moynahan to have
withheld the information.
As if one pouty-attractive-doc-
tor-show wasn't enough, ABC
announced plans earlier this week
to create a spin-off program based
upon the network's hit medical
drama, "Grey's Anatomy." Kate
Walsh, who plays Dr. Addison
Montgomery-Shepherd, is being
given her own series, which is set to
debut in May sweeps.
Everybody has a price - even
the Muppets. This week, The Wein-
stein Company purchased semi-
nal Muppet characters Elmo, the
Cookie Monster, Big Bird and many
more. Chairman Harvey Weinstein
said he considered it "one of the
most important acquisitions I've
ever been involved with." But what
happens to Kermit and Miss Piggy?
They're still controlled by former
Weinstein partner Disney.
Was Sylvester Stallone really as
naturally muscular as he seemed
Viacom announced the upcom-
ing launch of Joost, their "cool,"
"crazy" and "hip" new website for
videos from the company. Para-
mount films and all cable network
programs under Viacom will make
exclusive content available. Under-
standably, Viacom removed all
trademarked material off of You-
Tube two weeks ago. Let's just
hope we don't have to pay for it.
Because that's like, stupid.
This week, Yoko Ono pulled the
plug on an upcoming documen-
tary about the life of John Len-
non. "Working Class Hero" was
to debut with candid interviews
of Ono and Lennon's former wife
Cynthia, who blamed her and
John's divorce on drugs and Ono.
The London Sun reported Ono was
fully supportive of the project up
until recent weeks. Ono is yet to
make a statement.
"Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip"
was pulled off the air this week
because of sinking ratings. "60,"
once predicted to be a hit NBC sit-
com recently had dropped to its
lowest ratings yet of only 6 mil-
lion viewers, will be replaced with
the new crime drama, "The Black
in last year's "Rocky Balboa"? Aus-
tralian police suggested otherwise
when they stopped Stallone at cus-
toms for a routine search, finding
packages of what might have been
HGH. When authorities came to
charge him later at his hotel, wit-
nesses said Stallone and his entou-
rage were seen throwing items out
The Auden you never knew
5 29 7
By KIMBERLY CHOU
Associate Arts Editor
For many students, the name
W.H. Auden sounds vaguely famil-
iar. He's a poet
to read in those
most often cited
as an example AUDEN
But what even some Auden
admirers may not know is that the
man considered one of the preemi-
nent poets of the 20th century was
once a University professor - and
that yesterday was the 100th anni-
versary of his birth.
Born Wystan Hugh Auden, the
writer taught English literature at
the University from 1941 to 1942.
At different times he lived on
Brooklyn Street off Packard Street
and on Pontiac Trail with Charles
Miller. Miller, a Hopwood award
winner, would later commit his
Auden anecdotes to a book about
the writer's years in Ann Arbor.
"He taught courses in literature
and refused to teach creative writ-
ing, which everyone expected him
to," said Larry Goldstein, English
prof. and editor of the Michigan
Quarterly Review. Instead, Auden
his craft, it was essential for him to
immerse himself in reading.
Goldstein said he'd heard of syl-
labi with 30 books on them, and
list as supplemental reading.
"They were very informal class-
es," Goldstein continued. "I heard
he'd sometimes come in (wearing)
During his year at the University,
the poet would sometimes visit the
bars on Pontiac Trail with Miller.
"Auden did not like doing his
drinking on campus," Goldstein
said. "He wanted to be with the
proletariats. Auden was in the
middle of his most intense Marxist
phase" when he was here.
He attended parties with Chester
Kallman, a fellow poet and Univer-
sity MA grad whom he met in 1939.
Auden and Kallman would remain
romantic and professional partners
until the former's death in 1973.
Despite his brief time in Ann
Arbor, Auden left an impact. He
wrote his Christmas Oratorio "For
the Time Being" while here ("one
of his greatest works, and at least
his greatest longer work" accord-
ing to Goldstein) and taughtRobert
"Hayden credited him with
changing him from a proletarian to
a sophisticated, modernist poet,"
Hayden would later become a
University prof. himself and the
consultant in poetry to the Library
of Congress - (the position now
known as Poet Laureate Consul-
totally an Ashley's
To teach Auden's work compre-
hensively would be difficult, Gold-
stein said. As his career spanned
the '30s through the '60s, it's dif-
ficult to classify him as either mod-
ern or contemporary.
"It takes a whole course to teach
Auden's work," Goldstein said.
"Now is certainly the time to do
NOW IN THEATERS
"Pan's Labyrinth" "Venus" "Volver"
At the State Theater, At the Michigan Theater; moving At the Michigan Theater
Quality 16 and Showcase to the State Theater tomorrow * ***
Pedro Almodovar's warm,
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Guillermo del Toro's lush andlaedmlor artunth
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year's most uncompromised vision understatement of director Roger she's finally given something more
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