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…The Michigan Daily - michigandyaily.com Wednesday, March 7, 2007 - 5A News, meet comedy F or better or worse, "The Daily Show with Jon Stew- art" has become the voice of a generation and "The Colbert Report" is that voice's smartass best friend. Comedy Central's duo has blown up in the past year and everyone from slacker college students to ultra-liberal Hollywood types loves to shower the duo with praise. And for good rea- son: Stewart and...…

…6A- The Michigan Daily -Wednesday, March 7, the michigan daily 4 PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE On Central Campus Call 668-1100. PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE. 665-8825. 1, 2, 6 bdrm. apt. for lease. Off Hill St. 734-657-5497. From $725 per mo. . 2 BDRM. across from south quad, garage parking, modern furn. & FREE heat. 741-9300. annarborapartments.net ! 6 BDRM Apt. for lease 1004 S.For- est. 332-6000. carlsonproperties.com ! AVAILABLE NOW: Newly refur-...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Wednesday, March 7, 2007 - 7A APPLICATIONS From page LA sions data, a total of 2,460 underrepresented minorities had applied to the University by the beginning of February - a 5 percent increase from the same point last year. The increase in applicants may have been due to the fact that Proposal 2 was loom- ing. Students at Cass Tech- nical High School in Detroit said that before the initiative passed, ...…

…6 8A- Wednesday, March 7, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Bids up for grabs By MARK GIANNOTTO Daily Sports Writer If you consider yourself a college basketball fan, then there is no need for a reminder. But just in case you've been under a rock and missed all the promos on ESPN every day: Championship Week is upon us. Twelve teams have already punched their tickets to the Big Dance, and by Sunday night, the field of 65 will be c...…

…w aa Th Mihga . Wensdy ,20. 0 -- _-_-- S V V w w My career as a prop J erry Seinfeld once said that more people are afraid of public speaking than are afraid of death and consequently a siz- able chunk of the American population would rather be the guy in the casket than the one delivering the eulogy. I can understand this. Then again, it's almost common knowledge that deep down, everyone wants to be an actor. I can under- stand this, ...…

… V V V w v w w v _ w v w w Th Mihia Dai - nsdy Mac 7,S006 THE EDITOR'S NOTEBOOK with WALTER NOWINSKI iablef C (tetft. A look at the big news events this week and how important they really are. Conveniently rated from one to 10. Wednesday, March 7 2007 - The Michigan Daily 7 3B THE JUNK DRAWER What's hot and what's not in cur- rent events and pop culture. 4B STRAIGHT TALK What complaining about GSIs' language skills says about us. ...…

…w 0 r V V V V V V IW 9 w 0 0 TCganpus' sexua - es C ampus's sexual history WenedyMrc , 07 heMchgn aly 3 The romantic milestones that shaped sex as we know it at the University. QUOTES OF THE WEEK It turns out you have to go into rehab if you 1870 - The beginning Without crossword or sadoku puzzles, sitting through boring classes was a trying task for male students at the University in its first five decades. But in 1870, Universi...…

…w w V V w V V w w v v w w w v Why complaining about your GSI's accent is a waste of time (and racist) Some students are blaming their academic troubles on their GSIs' accents. It's an easy way out. It's also the wrong one. By Gabe Nelson I Daily News Editor Likemanystudents atthe Univer- sity, Business sophomore Eric Brackmann can't understand his graduate student instructor. Brackmann tried to under- stand his economics GSI's accen...…

…IMRAN SYED: RED AND YELLOW MAKES ORANGE. SO WHAT? OPINION, PAGE 4 NFL DREAM ING UNE OF FAITHFUL FANS GREETS CUTPSE AT THE BUOND PRG BREA STON TRIES TO MAKE THE GRADE AT COMBINE SPORTS, PAGE 9 ARTS, PAGE 5 I e fidIgan Bai3j Ann Arbor, Michigan www.michigandaily.com Tuesday March 6, THE UNIVERSITY'S LOBBYING SHOP As state funds drop, 'U' hits Hill Federal lobbying by BIG TEN OF INFLUENCE colleges has Money spent on lobbying last year incre...…

…2 - Tuesday, March 6, 2007 Not just a post-Valentine's misadventure At first I thought some poor suck- Christmas lights strung along the and slams into the wall. er had simply forgotten Valentine's arch's curve. The bathroom dominatrix Day, but even for a grovelling apol- Having at the moment little storms in with fast, long strides ogy, this would have been going a thought for thorough journalism, I and disappears directly into a stall. bit ...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, March 6, 2007 - 3 NEWS BRIEFS JABAR, Afghanistan Coalition airstrike hits house, kills 9 from one family A coalition airstrike destroyed a mud-brick home after a rocket attack on a U.S. base, killing nine people from four generations of an Afghanfamilyincludinga6-month- old, officials and relatives said yes- terday - one of the latest in a string of civilian deaths that threaten to undermine th...…

…4 - Tuesday, March 6, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com E E Midc4anJa40y Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890. 413 E. Huron St. *tAnn Arbor, MI 48104 tothedaily@umich.edu 4 There are huge, huge health risks and people should rightly be concerned about this." - Researcher Becky Price of GeneWatch UK on genetically-modified rice produced in America that contains human proteins similar to those in...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Tuesday, March 6, 2007 - 5 He's in psychoville, and Finkle's the mayor. Overwrought psycho- ' thriller doesn't add up Clipse takes over The Blind Pig on Sunday night. By ELIE ZWIEBEL Daily Arts Writer It's a common thought process when reading a new novel to put ourselves or peo- ple we know into the role ofvarious characters. Only in "The Number Th 23," when Wal- Number 23 ter Sparrow (Jim Carrey, "...…

…6- The Michigan Daily -Tuesday, March 6, 2007 the michigan daily 4 PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE On Central Campus Call 668-1100. PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE. 665-8825. ! ! AVAIL. NOW or later. 4 blks. to campus. Effs. 1, 2 & 3 bdrm, apts. in beautiful homes. Monthly ok for some units. Rent neg. w/ long term. For appt. & price, 972-7030. For pix a2apart- ments.com or a2realproperty.com ! ! ROOMS avail. 3-5 blks. to UM cen- tral campus. $455-$635. M...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com LOBBYING. From page 1 group in the United States, spent almost $15 million on lobbying last year, according to its filings. About two-thirds of the University's research dollars come from the Department of Health and Human Services. The National Science Founda- tion and the defense depart- ment both contribute about 10 percent. "This university is a three- to four-billion-dollar entity," said Michael Wa...…

…8 - Tuesday, March 6, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Underage and loaded H ollywood's underage crowd has been outdoing itself lately. Last week, Forbes magazine released its rich- est young 'uns under 21, and the vampirish Olsen twins topped the list with reported $40 million earnings last year from H their Dualstar empire, which includes kid- BERNIE die retail lines and straight- NGUYEN to-DVD mov- ies. Sadly, from the looks o...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Speed counts atcombine Tuesday, March 6, 2007 - 9 By KEVIN WRIGHT Daily Sports Editor INDIANAPOLIS - The two players stood next to each other like old friends, even though they played on teams in dif- ferent parts of the country. Former Michigan receiver Steve Breaston and former Louisiana State wide- out Dwayne Bowe nonchalantly watched clips of the Senior Bowl in the Indiana Convention Center on Feb. ...…

…10 - Tuesday, March 6, 2007 5Por Strength from above: The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Smith relies on By H. JOSE BOSCH Daily Sports Editor Before every basketball game, sopho- more Jerret Smith reads Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Smith needed that strength following a concussion he suffered against Wis- consin on Jan. 24, which kept him side- lined for the Indiana and Ohio State road trips...…

…46F tc4toan 4:3atl4m Ann Ar bor. Michigan www.michigandaily.com ICERS BACK INTO NO. 2 PLAYOFF SEED SPORTSMONDAY Sliding off the bubble Monday, March 5 2006 'ZODIAC' IS A MYSTIFYING TRIUMPH ARTS, PAGE 5A RIAA to students: Pay up Music industry intensifying threats against downloaders By KATHERINE MITCHELL Daily StaffReporter RC sophomore Baird Campbell knows the perils of illegally down- loading music. Last semester, he received a warning...…

…2A -Monday, March 5, 2007 TUESDAY: Arbor Anecdotes WEDNESDAY: Before You Were Here THURSDAY: Campus Characters FRIDAY: Explained Deep dish for deep pockets Pizza near campus is usually cheap. There's Backroom Pizza on Church Street, which sells slices of cheese for a dollar. New York Pizza Depot's two loca- tions sell a small pizza and a drink for four dollars after 10 p.m. And don'tforget the $5 large pizzas sold after Michigan football...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Monday, March 5, 2007 - 3A NEWS BRIEFS HARBOR SPRINGS, Mich. Macomb man suspected of killing wife captured Wearing neither coat nor shoes, a fugitive suspected of killing and dismembering his wife was found hiding under a fallen tree yester- day in a snowbound state park after a bitterly cold night on the run, authorities said. A police posse tracked down Ste- phen Grant about 225 miles north of the sub...…

…4A - Monday, March S, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com L7t itIdiigan Bjal4,l Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890. 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 tothedaily@umich.edu KARL STAMPFL EDITOR IN CHIEF IMRAN SYED EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR JEFFREY BLOOMER MANAGING EDITOR Unsigned editorials reflect the official position oftthe Daily's editorial board. All other signed articles and illustrations re...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com h Monday, March 5, 2007 - 5A Urbane-mob drama It's all in shows promise By IMRAN SYED DailyArts Writer With "The Departed" pulling off a best-picture win at last week's AcademyAwards, ***% the crime caper is officially cool The Black again. And it's Donnellys not a moment too soon for NBC. Mondaysat After the now- 10 p.m. comatose "Studio 60 on the Sunset NBC Strip," perhaps permanently, the network d...…

…6A- The Michigan Daily -Monday, March 5, the michigan daily a PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE On Central Campus Call 668-1100. PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE. 665-8825. ! ! AVAIL. NOW or later. 4 blks. to campus. Effs. 1, 2 & 3 bdrm. apts. in beautiful homes. Monthly ok for some units. Rent neg. w/ long term. For appt. & price, 972-7030. For pix a2apart- ments.com or a2realproperty.com ! ! ROOMS avail. 3-5 blks. to UM cen- tral campus. $455-$635. Monthly...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com NAACP chief MAJOR From page IA . *LSA restrictions forbid a stu- resigns fr m ( Post dent from using more than 60 credits earned in one depart- ment to fulfill the 120-credit NEW YORK (AP) - vinced him to stay. requirement needed for grad- NAACP President Bruce S. "There were occasions uation. Gordon said yesterday he is where it seemed just not to be In the e-mail, Hayes said leaving the civil rights or...…

…8A - Monday, March 5, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily~a 8A - Monday, March 5, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandailvcom Reno an ill fit in Miami By BLAKE GOBLE ately assembles a response, but the Daily Arts Writer local government collapses and the police are helpless and irrelevant. Our culture may be ripe for sat- The jokes are there for the picking. ire, but in film Too bad so little is satirized. A that genre has film that so...…

…Looking for more? Go Her online for exclusive son Web contenth michigandaily.com THE MICHIGAN DAILY man: Finding iething for t Sunday void SM COLUMN 2B michigandaily.com Bucks crush Monday, March 5, 2007 OHIO STATE 65, MICHIGAN 61 SEASON KILLER? upset hopes By DANIEL LEVY Daily Sports Writer What if? That pesky question has hovered over the Michigan basketball pro- gram in recent years. And Saturday's 65-61 loss to No.1 Ohio State was no d...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com 0 0 DAILY SPORTS BREAKS DOWN THE WEEKEND THAT WAS 2B - Monday, March 5, 2007 SAID AND HEARD "Slipups like we had at the end of (Saturday) cost us the season." - Michigan center COURTNEY SIMS on the team's 65- 61 loss to No.1 Ohio State last weekend. The Wolverines held a six-point lead with four minutes remaining, but failed to score the rest of the way. ATHLETE OF THE WEEK ERIN WEBSTER WOMEN'S TRAC...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Monday, March S, 2007 - 3B ICERS From page 1B Though multiple players received minor penalties, Buckeye Zach Pelle- tier was the lone player awarded a game disqualification. The Wolverines left the rink without engaging in customary post-game handshakes. "A couple guys started shoving (Kevin Porter)," sophomore Brandon Naurato said. "Their bench was already off to celebrate, so we just tried to get ever...…

…4B - Monday, March 5, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Disappointing finish for Blue nabs third at Big Tens a By MICHAEL EISENSTEIN Daily Sports Writer All season long the Michigan wrestling team claimed its lineup was more conducive to tourna- ments than dual meets. Tournament time came. And an eighth-place finish was all the 23rd-ranked Wolverines could muster at the Big Ten Cham- pionships this past weekend. But one Wolverin...…

…FROM THE DAILY: SURVIVING SPRING BREAK OPINION, PAGE 4 ONE ALUM'S VISION BLOGUPDATES ABOUT'M'STARS FROM THE NFL COMBINE WHAT'S NEXT FOR MUSEUMS ARTS, PAGE5 MICHIGANDAILY.COM/THE GAME ~1ie f IidianDaiIt Ann Arbor, Mi www.michigandaily.com Friday, February 23 T *" ragic accident kills LSA senior Andrew Bensinger died while studying in Thailand By EMILY ANGELL Daily StaffReporter A group of students gathered on a beach in southern Thailand ...…

…2 - Friday, February 23, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com MONDAY: TUESDAY: The Extremist Arbor Anecdotes WEDNESDAY: Before You Were Her How does the University end a tradition? For one, its methods included committees, cops and e-mail Some campus rituals fade away. Others are put down with a massive police presence. The latter is how the University ended the Naked Mile, a two-decade old campus tradition, in 2002. Traditionally,...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Friday, February 23, 2007 - 3 NEWS BRIEFS BERLIN Rice: U.S., Europe and Russia ready to bargain with Iran Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said yesterday the United States, European and Russian diplomats have a common goal to encourage Iranback to thebargain- ing table over its disputed nuclear program. "We reconfirmed we will use available channels and the Security Council to try to achieve that goal...…

…0 4 -Friday, February 23, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890. 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 tothedaily@umich.edu KARL STAMPFL IMRAN SYED JEFFREY BLOOMER EDITOR IN CHIEF EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR Unsigned editorials reflect the official position oftthe Daily's editorial board. All other signed articles and illustrations represent solely the vi...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Friday, February 23, 2007 - 5 Admit it: "Bridge to Terabithia" made you cry when you first read it. A 'Bridge to film from fantasy lit Museum of the future ART HISTORIAN DESCRIBES NEW IMAGE By MICHELE YANKSON For the Daily Perhaps the second most common question about the University of Michigan Museum of Art's expansion - other than "When will it finally be fin- ished?" - is simply "What will Reimagini...…

…6- The Michigan Daily -Friday, February 23, 2007 the michigan daily 0 PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE On Central Campus Call 668-1100. PARKING SPACES AVAILABLE. 665-8825. !AVAIL. NOW or later. 4 blks. to campus. Effs. 1, 2 & 3 bdrm. apts. in beautiful homes. Monthly ok for some units. Rent neg. w/ long term. For appt. & price, 972-7030. For pix a2apart- ments.com or a2realproperty.com ! ! ROOMS avail. 3-5 blks. to UM cen- tral campus. $455-$635. Mo...…

…The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com STADIUM accessib From page 1 body ha dent Co] meet compliance obligations," the will not letter said. dium." It also said the project may be Cunn considered a "substantial altera- is deepl tion" under federal standards, ing whe which would require the University She s to make other parts of the stadium will offe handicap accessible as well. users, m Michael Harris, the executive the stad. director of Mich...…

…": .- . 8 - Friday, February 23, 2007 Once again, turnover bug bites Blue in Minneapolis The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com By DAN FELDMAN Daily Sports Writer Sometimes, less is more. The Michigan women's bas- ketball team committed 25 MICHIGAN 53 turnovers in MINNESOTA 661 a 66-53 loss at Minnesota last night. The Wolverines entered the game last in the Big Ten with 19.2 turn- overs per game. But it wasn't always that bad. Michigan ave...…

…Wrestling Announcer Can't Believe What He's Seeing SPORTS, page IOE War On String May Be Unwinnable, Says Cat General NATIONAL, page 4D the ONION AMrERICAS FINEST NEWIS SOURCE o ONION.COM Child's Last Steps Captured On Video LOCAL, page 7A 33 49 Break out your ascots! Copyright 02007 Onion, Inc. All Righs Rervsed February 2007 1 Volume 43 Issue 00 Hamster Thrown From Remote-Control Monster Truck MILTON, MA-Tragedy was nar- Little People....…

…2 FEBRUARY 2007 0' the ONIO1i 2 FEBRUARY 2007 f4the ONIO~ NATIONAL NEWS IN BRIEF Description Of Hot-Dog Ingredients Fails To Ruin Picnic EVERETT, WA-Try as he might, Matt Cot- tone was unable to spoil appetites at Jack Pierson's Memorial Day picnic. "The absolute worst meat goes into hot dogs-animal parts that oughta be thrown away-and then they pump it full of nitrates and sodium and dyes," Cottone said as his friends eagerly devoured Osc...…

…0W4the ONION VOLUME 43 ISSUE 00 3 - 'I re _4k …

…4 FEBRUARY 2007 04 the ONION FEBRARY 097 the NIO PEOPLE EXTRA Cheap Garbage Disposal Can't Handle Femur page 7c Best Friends Make Eye Contact While Singing Along To 'Summer Lovin' page 13A Native Bostonians Unable To Defend Land From Invading College Students BOSTON-The now-monthlong invasion carried out by more than 200,000 college stu- dents who bombarded this normally quiet, historic city has forced native Bostonians to relinquish the...…

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…6 FEBRUARY 2007 ' the ONION LOCAL Few Of The Offended Guests Were Prepared Loving Gestures 'Completely Unnecessary' STROKIN' from page 1 Immediately following the "Strokin"' debacle, Doblewicz attempted to win back offended guests with Buster Poin- dexter's "Hot, Hot, Hot." He managed to generate a conga line with the whole- some, crowd-pleasing 1987 hit, but the damage had been done. "How could [Doblewicz] have possi- bly thought that awfu...…

…d the ONION OPINION VOLUME 43 ISSUE 00 7 You Will Know Love By Smoove B Love Man Erase all doubt from your mind, for tonight, you will know love. Let me tell you how I am going to lay it dowu. This afternoon, while you are on lunch break, I will have a handpicked team of florists cover your desk at work with a mixture of sen- suous-smelling rose petals. They will also leave a note reading, "Girl, you are most fine. I will pick you up at 8."...…

…8 FEBRUARY 2007 ~h NO Q-1 the ONION I …

…The B-side ~Ic didci~rnaI i Mchi www.michigandaily.com day F Last dance for Chief Illiniwek TOP: Residents of West Quad and South Quad residence halls lines up across Madison Street last Feb. 15 in preparation of the annual snowball fight between the two dorrs. BOTTOM: A snowball fight participant prepare to hurl a bucket of snow. ,e°"l tA tradition. - K Has the beloved South Quad-West Quad snowball fight become too dangerous? -~ By Walte...…

…2A - Thursday, February 22, 2007 MONDAY: TUESDAY: The Extremist Arbor Anecdotes WEDNESDAY: Before You Were Here C FRIDAY: Explained Buimpy's pilot Richard Manger met his wife while flipping burgers Richard Manger is skinny. It's a little surprising, considering he owns Blimpy Burger, an Ann Arbor land- mark that has served up greasy food for almost 55 years. Manger's relationship with the res- taurant began when he worked there as a Unive...…

…1 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Thursday, February 22, 2007 - 3A NEWS BRIEFS ROME Italian premier ousted after losing Senate vote Premier Romano Prodi resigned yesterday after nine months in office following an embarrassing loss by his center-left government in the Senate on foreign policy, including Italy's military mission in Afghanistan. Prodi aides did not rule out the possibility that President Giorgio Napolitano would ask Prod...…

…4A - Thursday, February 22, 2007 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com C714c d4.c an ail Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan since 1890. 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 tothedaily@umich.edu KARL STAMPFL IMRAN SYED JEFFREY BLOOMER EDITOR IN CHIEF EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR MANAGING EDITOR Unsigned editorials reflect the official position of the Daily's editorial board. All other signed articles and illustrations repr...…