8 - Tuesday, March 6, 2007
The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
Underage and
loaded
H ollywood's underage
crowd has been outdoing
itself lately. Last week,
Forbes magazine released its rich-
est young 'uns under 21, and the
vampirish
Olsen twins
topped the list
with reported
$40 million
earnings last
year from H
their Dualstar
empire, which
includes kid- BERNIE
die retail lines
and straight- NGUYEN
to-DVD mov-
ies. Sadly, from
the looks ofthings, both will perish
with the sunrise, so they won't be
able to enjoy the fortune they've
spent on ratty fur coats and foot-
deforming Balenciaga booties.
Coming in second? Harry Pot-
ter himself, earning an estimated
$18 million in 2006. Parents every-
where might want to avoid pointing
him out as a role model, however,
considering his latest theatrical
achievement - getting naked on a
London stage as a horse-obsessed
teenager in "Equus" (the full-fron-
tal pictures are up).
Lindsey Lohan made the list,
too, although between rehab, ciga-
rettes and more handbags than she
can possibly use, that fortune will
no doubt drain very quickly. Did
anyone else think she was 21? How
does someone attend AA meetings
when they're not even legal? Legal
or not, She's also been seen hitting
the clubs nearly every night since
she left rehab not too long ago.
That's the way, Lindsay. Others
might say stay away from tempta-
tion, but I say the best way to fight
fire is with fire.
The Barton sisters have also
known their share of temptation.
Last week, 19-year-old Hania
Barton (did anyone know who
Hania was until a few days ago?)
was caught crunching pills big
enough to sedate a horse. A fam-
ily announcement that she was
checking into rehab for an addic-
tion to prescription drugs quickly
followed. Not to be undone, big
sister Mischa (of late "O.C," fame)
paraded around for the paparazzi
with a "cigarette" in hand.
As much as we hate to admit
that Hilary might be the only one
of her star generation to turn out
somewhat normal (there's no love
lost between that Duff and us), it's
a little annoying that it seems to
be the card she's playing the most.
Duff's newest album is titled With
Dignity, and while Duff hasn't been
seen partying down in the clubs
of Los Angeles, she's more boring
than anything else.
And speaking ofboring, one final
note. Erstwhile Spelling heir Tori,
eternally pregnant (doesn't it seem
like it's been about two years now?),
opened a bed and breakfast with
husband Dean McDermott. We're
now taking odds that her baby will
Hollywood's
youth know
how to party.
be named something like Twinkie
or Vitamin or Dollarbill, and as a
result will have a falling out with
Tori similar to the one she's cur-
rently experiencing with her own
mother. Honestly, Tori named her
bed and breakfast Chateau LaRue
- after her pug. Her pug. Props to
Tori, however, for capitalizing on
her wee ounce of fame as much
as possible: A reality show, oh-so-
cleverly titled "Tori and Dean: Inn
Love," will chronicle her adven-
tures on the Oxygen network.
PS: Since when does opening a
bed and breakfast take you straight
to the top in Hollywood?
- Nguyen is already at the
top of Hollywood. E-mail her
banguyen@umich.edu.
'Black'
and blues
JACKSON REGULATES
WITH TOUGH LOVE, CHAIN
By MITCHELL AKSELRAD
For the Daily
With remakes, popular comic-book adapta-
tions and hyped-up sequels constantly filling
the venues of most cinemas,
it's not often that audiences
have the opportunity to see a ***
truly original movie. In that
respect, Craig Brewer's "Black Black Snake
Snake Moan" is a rare delicacy.
Well, maybe that's pushing it Moan
- there's not really anything A
delicate about it. Atthe State
Brewer first touched bases Theater,
with audiences with his 2005 Quality16
Sundance hit "Hustle & Flow," and Showcase
and this follow-up detailing
the unlikely bond between an Paramount
old blues musician and a young, Vantage
tortured nymphomaniac is
another tale of hope and good-
ness found in the most unlikely place.
Samuel L. Jackson ("Snakes on a Plane"), the
go-to Hollywood presence who never lets his
audience down, plays Lazarus, a farmer whose
old passion for playing and singing the blues
has been recently refueled by the departure of
his cheating wife. His problems only get worse
when he finds a beat-up, unconscious, half-naked
6
6
Wait till you see what's on the other end of the chain.
young woman on the side of the road. That would
be Rae (Christina Ricci, "Prozac Nation"), a local
girl with an uncertified sex addiction and head
full of bad memories. Lazarus brings her home
and sets her on his couch to recover from her
drugged-up hangover.
After some casual investigation, Lazarus
learns of his charge's long history of wild behav-
ior, and when Rae finally comes out of her feverish
hangover, she finds herself chained to Lazarus's
radiator - a precautionary method to keep her
locked up while he "cures" her of her "wicked-
ness." Thus the battle of wits, and an unlikely
friendship, begins.
With that unconventional story and a strong
range of acting (with the lackluster exception of
surprise-cast Justin Timberlake, as Rae's soldier
husband Ronnie), "Black Snake Moan" has a lot of
potential - but a few unsettling problems as well.
Neither writer nor director knows whose story
this is. By the end of the film's first act, the situ-
ation has Lazarus as the recently wronged pro-
tagonist and little nympho Rae as his challenge,
but the film's final chapters shift focus to the rela-
tionship problems of Rae and Ronnie. This is not
to say supporting characters shouldn'thave their
own stories, but when Lazarus is not even active
in that film's climax and when his problem's solu-
tion has nothing to do with his decision to help
Rae, it becomes clear the movie suffers from mis-
direction.
This ties in to the movie's other main problem
- there is no clear conflict. Is it Lazarus vs. Rae,
Rae vs. her mother, Rae vs. her past, Lazarus vs.
his ex-wife, Rae vs. Ronnie? By the end of the
film, half the problems introduced are left unan-
swered, and not in the good way.
That being said, this isn't that other Samuel L.
Jackson movie with "Snake" in the title. Its col-
orful dialogue and inconspicuous, unpretentious
direction are both laudable. You just don't need
to stand when you clap.
Hazietwood's last effort a weak finale
By KIMBERLY CHOU
AssociateArtsEditor
Lee Hazlewood has terminal
cancer, and if he wants his last
hurrah to involve his 7-year-old
granddaughter singing "Some Vel-
vet Morning," more power to him.
After all, the man never was one to
stick to the rules.
Much like the rest of his career,
this album reflects a mash-up of
styles with heavy country-western
influence: the circus waltz of "Fred
Freud," the sobbing, power-ballad
flair of "Please Come to Boston,"
the combination
of wry spoken **"
word with a coun-
try-western base Lee
on "White People Haziewood
Thing."
Hazlewood Cake or Death
chooses to open E
the album with Ever
the cafe-tune
"Nothing," which, quite frankly,
isn't much, but reflects his frequent
I
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LAj
illl:= '99k,
choice of a female guest for his own
solowork.VaguelyRandyNewman-
esque with its simple orchestration
and walkabout rhythm, Hazlewood
plays the May-December love act
with a breathy European girl. The
duo coo lines involving various
ways to "say nothing" to each other:
Hazlewood doing his befuddled
cowboy-with-a-Euro-fetish and his
lady foil responding in appropri-
ate, flirty fashion over a few wood-
winds and a terribly unrealistic
digital piano. But its necessary to
give Hazlewood props for rhym-
ing "love and pain / ying and yang
/still the same."
"Baghdad Knights" - where
Hazlewood has the priceless cho-
rus comparing military service
to "playing football / with a gun"
- bizarrely combines earnest
blues rock with showy, Broadway
brass and a freestyle jazz flute.
Hazlewood's voiceover near the
end of the track, after one of the
flute solos, sounds as if he's coming
through an intercom. As a produc-
er whose earlier work influenced
a young Phil Spector, you'd think
Hazlewood would have learned to
restrain his sometimes superfluous
impulses.
Though he falters, the listen-
er familiar with his charming,
kitschy Western persona wants to
give Hazlewood the benefit of the
doubt. We love this guy because he
produced and sang on some fan-
tastic Nancy Sinatra tracks. While
she's still mostly known for being
Frank's daughter, without svengali
Hazlewood, she wouldn't have that
deliciously campy karaoke clas-
sic ("These Boots Were Made For
Walking") or a somewhat erotic
ode to nature ("Some Velvet Morn-
ing," later resurrected by pop cul-
ture figures like Lydia Lunch). We
like him because he came out with
themed albums with titles like Cow-
boy in Sweden justbecause he could,
even when few in the mainstream
cared. And we want him to do well
because he was recently diagnosed
with terminal illness, and Cake or
Death will be his last album.
When an artist is finishing what
he knows will be his last album,
whether it's released posthumous-
ly or not, longtime fans or at least
earlier fans cross their fingers for
it to be The Best Album of (Said
Artist's) Oeuvre. Warren Zevon.
George Harrison. We want them to
take heed of those oft-quoted Dylan
Thomas lines and go barnstorming
out, drunk and riotous, when that
good night comes. Or at least with a
three-stars-or-above album."
So Hazlewood isn't quite what
he used to be. It'd be ridiculous to
expect the 77-year-old Hazlewood
to still be wearing the psychedelic
cloak of his cowboy noir days, but
there's enough of that spark left to
leave you hoping - take the campy
surf of "The First Song of the Day."
Musically, Cake or Death isn't
much. But the voice of tracks like
the saccharine, yet admittedly ten-
der "T.O.M. (The Old Man") is one
of a weathered artist embracing his
mortality in his own highly themat-
ic, often campy terms.
Have your cake, Lee.
4
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