2 - Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Not just a post-Valentine's misadventure
At first I thought some poor suck- Christmas lights strung along the and slams into the wall.
er had simply forgotten Valentine's arch's curve. The bathroom dominatrix
Day, but even for a grovelling apol- Having at the moment little storms in with fast, long strides
ogy, this would have been going a thought for thorough journalism, I and disappears directly into a stall.
bit far. didn't approach the happy pair for Within a minute she's out and
The Wednesday after Valentine's their names, but I'm pretty sure she washing her hands with meticu-
Day, a friend and I were leaving our said yes. lous attention.
study nook in West Hall for a late- KRISTIN MACDONALD Then she moves to her face. She
night coffee refresher when we twists her long hair into an immac-
came upon a lavish spread of can- ulate bun with one smooth sweep.
dIes and rose petals fanned out on The bathroom Wisps are restrained with a thin,
the ground beneath the building's . black headband on her forehead.
outdoor archway. dominatrix Soon a robust lather masks her faces.
Our timing was unwittingly per- In the fourth floor bathroom of Itdoesn't touch a strand of hair.
feet - the young man responsible Alice Lloyd Residence Hall I gossip Then her toothbrush meets a
for the display was just leading his through a mouth full of toothpaste. shapely glob of Aquafresh - from a
girlfriend toward it with her eyes I see a lot of people I know, mostly tube without crust. The brush head
covered. Judging the moment to because I live down the hall. is brought under a blast of water
be private, I quickly moved to do But there is one girl I know only and tapped twice.
the same, and my friend and I were for her bathroom habits. She attacks plaque with the same
already turned back to our origi- I see her at the sinks several fervor a televangelist might take on
nal trek toward Espresso Royale nights each week, and I'm awed non-believers. Her lips are without
when the young woman gave an every time. foam.
unmistakable squeal. We pivoted, Never before have I seen any- Before I've even gotten to the
and the scene's perfect tableau was one treat her environment with back of my bicuspids, she spits.
as picturesque as the young man such authority. It begins when the. She's gone just as quickly as she
- now on bended knee - had sure- door rattles in its frame with three came.
Robin Tyler uses a long pole with a suction cup to change
the movie titles and upcoming events on the Michigan The-
atre marquee last night.
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ly hoped. There were even white punches to the keypad, swings open
WHERE: School of Dentistry
WHEN: Friday at about 6
WHAT: A male student
burned his wrist while working
with the chemical Trizol, the
Department of Public Safety
reported. He called police for
information about exposure to
the lab chemical. He was trans-
ported to the emergency room
WHERE: Hutchins Hall
WHEN: Friday at about 2:30
WHAT: A male student
reported his backpack con-
taining a laptop and three law
books stolen, DPS reported.
The books were valued at $375
and the computer at approxi-
mately $1,000. Police have no
CAMPUS EVENTS & NOTES
Caller tries to
on hit and run
WHERE: Lot SC-7, 1202 Kipke
WHEN: Saturday at about 6
WHAT: A caller reported that
their parked car was damaged
in a hit and run, DPS reported.
Police concluded the damage to
the vehicle was old.
from Haven Hall
WHERE: Haven Hall
WHEN: Saturday at about 6:30
WHAT: A male faculty member
said his laptop was stolen from
an office, DPS reported. Police
have no suspects.
WHO: Tauber Institute for
WHEN: Today at5 p.m.
WHERE: Room W2740, Ross
School of Business
WHAT: A raft building com-
petition in conjunction with Lecture on
National Engineers week.
Each participant will be given homeownership
straws, a rubber band, a Sty-
rofoam cup and tape to build WHAT: Edward Gramlich,
his or her raft. The student a former governor of the
whose raft can hold the most Federal Reserve Board and
weight will receive a prize, former interim University
WHO: Society of Women provost, will lecture on the
Engineers risks of homeownership.
WHEN: Today from 11:30 Gramlich is a fellow at the
a.m. to2:30 p.m. Urban Institute in Washing-
WHERE: Duderstadt Media ton, D.C.
Union WHO: Institute for the
Target WHEN: Today from noon to
eeec I30 p.m.
talks about WHERE: Room 2022, Thayer
WHAT: Target executive Bob Please report any error in
Kupbens will speak about the Daily to corrections@
managing a multinational michigandaily.com.
Owners must now renew
groups on the University's
Online Directory each year
or the groups will be deleted.
Information Technology Cen-
tral Services will notify group
owners 90 days before their
group expires through e-mail.
Six former Michigan
football players worked
out at the NFL combine
in Indianapolis last week. The
trip was especially fruitful for
wide receiver and kick returner
Steve Breaston, who impressed
NFL coaches and officials.
>>FOR MORE, SEE SPORTS PAGE 9
Plaid Avenger's World, a
colorful geography text-
book written by a Vir-
ginia Tech professor, will now
carry a warning sticker, The
Roanoke Times reported. The
book summarizes the Monore
Doctrine as "Don't mess in our
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for the LSAT?
Our students increase their
LSAT score by an average
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Get ready for life after Michigan with Real Life 101.
This annual series of free, entertaining seminars is designed just for U-M students
and will help you get ready for some of the big issues you face as you get ready to
graduate. These fun and informative seminars will get you thinking and get you ready!
Tuesday, March 13, 6-7:30 p.m.
Insurance 101 "What You Don't Know Can Hurt You"
Health insurance, life insurance, auto insurance, renters insurance, home
owners insurance, flood insurance....what does it all mean and what
does it have to do with you? In this lively session, facilitated by the
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Monday, March 19, 6-7:30 p.m.
Investing 101 "Best Practices for Beginning Investing"
Who doesn't want to retire at 40? While we can't make any promises, we
can provide you with sound advice on ways you can invest your earnings
as you start out in your professional life. This "must see" session will be
led by our friends at LaSalle Bank.
Tuesday, March 27, 6-7:30 p.m.
Money Management 101 "Getting the Most Out of What You've Got"
Money may not buy happiness, but it sure can make life easier. In this
information-crammed session, learn how you can make the most of your
limited resources while avoiding the pitfalls that doom a lot of new grads.
These FREE sessions are at the Alumni Center and include FREE
pizza and pop. Plus, one student at each session will win
a $50 Visa gift card.
LaSalle Bank ALUMNI ASSOCIATION
ABN AMO UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN