2 - Tuesday, March 6, 2007 Not just a post-Valentine's misadventure At first I thought some poor suck- Christmas lights strung along the and slams into the wall. er had simply forgotten Valentine's arch's curve. The bathroom dominatrix Day, but even for a grovelling apol- Having at the moment little storms in with fast, long strides ogy, this would have been going a thought for thorough journalism, I and disappears directly into a stall. bit far. didn't approach the happy pair for Within a minute she's out and The Wednesday after Valentine's their names, but I'm pretty sure she washing her hands with meticu- Day, a friend and I were leaving our said yes. lous attention. study nook in West Hall for a late- KRISTIN MACDONALD Then she moves to her face. She night coffee refresher when we twists her long hair into an immac- came upon a lavish spread of can- ulate bun with one smooth sweep. dIes and rose petals fanned out on The bathroom Wisps are restrained with a thin, the ground beneath the building's . black headband on her forehead. outdoor archway. dominatrix Soon a robust lather masks her faces. Our timing was unwittingly per- In the fourth floor bathroom of Itdoesn't touch a strand of hair. feet - the young man responsible Alice Lloyd Residence Hall I gossip Then her toothbrush meets a for the display was just leading his through a mouth full of toothpaste. shapely glob of Aquafresh - from a girlfriend toward it with her eyes I see a lot of people I know, mostly tube without crust. The brush head covered. Judging the moment to because I live down the hall. is brought under a blast of water be private, I quickly moved to do But there is one girl I know only and tapped twice. the same, and my friend and I were for her bathroom habits. She attacks plaque with the same already turned back to our origi- I see her at the sinks several fervor a televangelist might take on nal trek toward Espresso Royale nights each week, and I'm awed non-believers. Her lips are without when the young woman gave an every time. foam. unmistakable squeal. We pivoted, Never before have I seen any- Before I've even gotten to the and the scene's perfect tableau was one treat her environment with back of my bicuspids, she spits. as picturesque as the young man such authority. It begins when the. She's gone just as quickly as she - now on bended knee - had sure- door rattles in its frame with three came. SHAY SPANOLA/Daly Robin Tyler uses a long pole with a suction cup to change the movie titles and upcoming events on the Michigan The- atre marquee last night. The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com C 41C achigan Datey 413 E. Huron St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1327 www.michigandaily.com KARL STAMPFL ALEXISFLOYD Editor in Chief Business Manager 734-647-3336 734-764-eons sta pfl@michigandaily.com floyd@michigndaily.com CONTACT INFORMATION Newsroom officehours:Sun.-Thurs.11 a)m., 2a.,. 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The Michigan Daily is a member of The Associated Press and The Associated Collegiate Press. 6 ly hoped. There were even white punches to the keypad, swings open CRIME NOTES Chemical burns dental student WHERE: School of Dentistry WHEN: Friday at about 6 p.m. WHAT: A male student burned his wrist while working with the chemical Trizol, the Department of Public Safety reported. He called police for information about exposure to the lab chemical. He was trans- ported to the emergency room for treatment. Laptop, law books stolen WHERE: Hutchins Hall WHEN: Friday at about 2:30 p.m. WHAT: A male student reported his backpack con- taining a laptop and three law books stolen, DPS reported. The books were valued at $375 and the computer at approxi- mately $1,000. Police have no CAMPUS EVENTS & NOTES suspects. Caller tries to blame damage on hit and run WHERE: Lot SC-7, 1202 Kipke Dr. WHEN: Saturday at about 6 p.m. WHAT: A caller reported that their parked car was damaged in a hit and run, DPS reported. Police concluded the damage to the vehicle was old. Laptop stolen from Haven Hall office WHERE: Haven Hall WHEN: Saturday at about 6:30 p.m. WHAT: A male faculty member said his laptop was stolen from an office, DPS reported. Police have no suspects. Engin Week raft building contest corporation. WHO: Tauber Institute for Global operations WHEN: Today at5 p.m. WHERE: Room W2740, Ross School of Business WHAT: A raft building com- petition in conjunction with Lecture on National Engineers week. Each participant will be given homeownership straws, a rubber band, a Sty- rofoam cup and tape to build WHAT: Edward Gramlich, his or her raft. The student a former governor of the whose raft can hold the most Federal Reserve Board and weight will receive a prize, former interim University WHO: Society of Women provost, will lecture on the Engineers risks of homeownership. WHEN: Today from 11:30 Gramlich is a fellow at the a.m. to2:30 p.m. Urban Institute in Washing- WHERE: Duderstadt Media ton, D.C. Union WHO: Institute for the Humanities Target WHEN: Today from noon to eeec I30 p.m. talks about WHERE: Room 2022, Thayer Building CORRECTIONS WHAT: Target executive Bob Please report any error in Kupbens will speak about the Daily to corrections@ managing a multinational michigandaily.com. JESSICA VOSGERCHIAN Owners must now renew groups on the University's Online Directory each year or the groups will be deleted. Information Technology Cen- tral Services will notify group owners 90 days before their group expires through e-mail. Six former Michigan football players worked out at the NFL combine in Indianapolis last week. The trip was especially fruitful for wide receiver and kick returner Steve Breaston, who impressed NFL coaches and officials. >>FOR MORE, SEE SPORTS PAGE 9 Plaid Avenger's World, a colorful geography text- book written by a Vir- ginia Tech professor, will now carry a warning sticker, The Roanoke Times reported. The book summarizes the Monore Doctrine as "Don't mess in our hemisphere, bitch." 0 U Why choose PowERSCRE for the LSAT? Our students increase their LSAT score by an average of over 10 points. Get ready for life after Michigan with Real Life 101. This annual series of free, entertaining seminars is designed just for U-M students and will help you get ready for some of the big issues you face as you get ready to graduate. These fun and informative seminars will get you thinking and get you ready! Tuesday, March 13, 6-7:30 p.m. Insurance 101 "What You Don't Know Can Hurt You" Health insurance, life insurance, auto insurance, renters insurance, home owners insurance, flood insurance....what does it all mean and what does it have to do with you? In this lively session, facilitated by the professionals at Liberty Mutual, get the lowdown you need. Monday, March 19, 6-7:30 p.m. Investing 101 "Best Practices for Beginning Investing" Who doesn't want to retire at 40? While we can't make any promises, we can provide you with sound advice on ways you can invest your earnings as you start out in your professional life. This "must see" session will be led by our friends at LaSalle Bank. Tuesday, March 27, 6-7:30 p.m. Money Management 101 "Getting the Most Out of What You've Got" Money may not buy happiness, but it sure can make life easier. In this information-crammed session, learn how you can make the most of your limited resources while avoiding the pitfalls that doom a lot of new grads. These FREE sessions are at the Alumni Center and include FREE pizza and pop. Plus, one student at each session will win a $50 Visa gift card. LaSalle Bank ALUMNI ASSOCIATION ABN AMO UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN