It's 'Frifa , we ain't 1ot no bobs,
we ain't ot shit to o UR LIFE WOULD SUCK
January 31, .2003
www.dailyboycott.cWITHin a roi
at? Me sanction? ;
Coleman, Martin, Amaker deny that any self-imposed sanctions are in place; emplore
NCAA Selection Committee to consider Maize and Blue in March
By Tractor Traylor
Show me the Money
It looks like Michigan Athletic Director Bill
Martin has pulled a fast one on everyone -
including the revered NCAA.
Those self-imposed sanctions applied by
Martin and University President Mary Sue
Coleman just a few months ago?
Martin said its hogwash.
"I was just fuckin' around with ya'll," Mar-
tin said with a chuckle. "Yea, right. Like we're
going to sanction ourselves. We're Michigan.
And we're the next Cinderella team, baby!"
After a dismal 0-6 start, the Michigan bas-
ketball team (13-7) has taken the nation by
storm, winning 13 of its last 14 games and put-
ting itself atop the Big Ten.
And now, without the sanctions lifted off the
Wolverines' shoulders, they're now aiming for
a national title run.
"When I talk about passion and patience, I
always mean to mention the other P' word -
prank," Michigan coach Tommy Amaker said.
"We had you going there for a while, didn't
#we? Me and the coaches just though this would
be a good way to get the players motivated -
so they could play without the pressure that
accompanies a Big Ten season. It's working!"
A very much confused, yet excited Bernard
Robinson, couldn't believe the administration
had fooled him.
"Damn I feel dumb," Robinson said with a
Representatives at the NCAA echoed B-
Rob's confused sentiment.
"We were pleasantly surprised back in
November when Michigan sanctioned itself,"
NCAA President Miles Brand told the Daily
yesterday. "But since they're playing so well
now, we completely sympathize with Athletic
Director Martin and the Michigan community.
We'll see the Wolverines in New Orleans at the
Brand added that he was interested in purchas-
ing a Maize and Blue No. 4 jersey. "Cha-
ching," he added with a wide-eyed grin.
For freshman phenom Danny Horton?
"For C-Webb. That kid was a balla."
But Michigan State coach Tom Izzo wasn't
such a big fan of this breaking development.
"Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me that
those clowns are going to the tourney while
we're staying home," Izzo said with a gasp.
"Man, I'm going to
be stuck here crying
my eyes out once
again - just like
after those punks
stole Chris Webber
away from us.
Atlanta Hawks want
me a while ago?"
banners have also
been given a stay
of execution, as
they have been
taken off MGoB-
lueAuction' s web-
site and have been
cleaned in prepara-
tion for their
rehanging at half-
time of the Michi-
Saturday, Feb. 8.
ines standout Chris
Webber could not
be reached for
comment, but Uni-
Jake Feldman, don-
ning a Michigan No. 4 jersey,
spoke his behalf.
"Yo, C-Webb was the reason I
came here," Feldman said. "I make
my girlfriend give me head while wearing this
jersey. I know my boy would be glad to see the
banner back up."
As would numerous Michigan fans who
view the 1989 National Championship banner
and the women's basketball appearance banner
as the only banners with any significance in
The retraction of the sanctions has left
Amaker feeling as though he should rethink
his pregame cliches.
"I just tell them, 'Be Michigan,"' Amaker
said. "And by 'Be
Michigan' I mean
free throws with
only three seconds
left on the clock and
take money when
you want it."
Grosser was ecstatic
about the news.
rectio"It's not about
sanctions, it's not
about losses and it's
not about raising the
said. "It's all about
tha Rage. The Rage
has been the life-
force of this win
streak with cheers
like the H-bomb and
'Here we go Michi-
gan.' Without these
cheers, the student
section would be
At 6-1 in the Big
Ten and 13-7 over-
all, the Wolverines *
are on borderline of.>
being in the NCAA
re decided today. ESPN's
Lunardi believes that
e a chance if the NCAA is
its previous admission of
ob as a licensed bracke-
nine the 64 best teams in
idn't take money from CHiNESEJEW/Dal
ect a bracket," Lunardi Michigan Athletic Director Bill Martin is elated at his ruling that Michigan will not face sanctions
lichigan just doesn't fit and h hr t the 2003 NCAA Tournament.
ING SOME- :
TH I T°
DA , ; EFF, AND
BR AN SH NEXT
YEAR' R C SS - BRADY,
ICH C RT Y
IN THE YEAR TO CO1M .}
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Want to be a
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