I It's 'Frifa , we ain't 1ot no bobs, we ain't ot shit to o UR LIFE WOULD SUCK January 31, .2003 www.dailyboycott.cWITHin a roi W 9 J )lrejoesmithg~!umchi. edu at? Me sanction? ; Coleman, Martin, Amaker deny that any self-imposed sanctions are in place; emplore NCAA Selection Committee to consider Maize and Blue in March By Tractor Traylor Show me the Money It looks like Michigan Athletic Director Bill Martin has pulled a fast one on everyone - including the revered NCAA. Those self-imposed sanctions applied by Martin and University President Mary Sue Coleman just a few months ago? Martin said its hogwash. "I was just fuckin' around with ya'll," Mar- tin said with a chuckle. "Yea, right. Like we're going to sanction ourselves. We're Michigan. And we're the next Cinderella team, baby!" After a dismal 0-6 start, the Michigan bas- ketball team (13-7) has taken the nation by storm, winning 13 of its last 14 games and put- ting itself atop the Big Ten. And now, without the sanctions lifted off the Wolverines' shoulders, they're now aiming for a national title run. "When I talk about passion and patience, I always mean to mention the other P' word - prank," Michigan coach Tommy Amaker said. "We had you going there for a while, didn't #we? Me and the coaches just though this would be a good way to get the players motivated - so they could play without the pressure that accompanies a Big Ten season. It's working!" A very much confused, yet excited Bernard Robinson, couldn't believe the administration had fooled him. "Damn I feel dumb," Robinson said with a sigh. Representatives at the NCAA echoed B- Rob's confused sentiment. "We were pleasantly surprised back in November when Michigan sanctioned itself," NCAA President Miles Brand told the Daily yesterday. "But since they're playing so well now, we completely sympathize with Athletic Director Martin and the Michigan community. We'll see the Wolverines in New Orleans at the Final Four." Brand added that he was interested in purchas- ing a Maize and Blue No. 4 jersey. "Cha- ching," he added with a wide-eyed grin. For freshman phenom Danny Horton? "For C-Webb. That kid was a balla." But Michigan State coach Tom Izzo wasn't such a big fan of this breaking development. "Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me that those clowns are going to the tourney while we're staying home," Izzo said with a gasp. "Man, I'm going to be stuck here crying my eyes out once again - just like after those punks stole Chris Webber away from us. "Didn't the Atlanta Hawks want me a while ago?" Michigan's national champi- onship runner-up banners have also been given a stay of execution, as they have been taken off MGoB- lueAuction' s web- site and have been cleaned in prepara- tion for their rehanging at half- time of the Michi- gan-Iowa on Saturday, Feb. 8. Former Wolver- ines standout Chris Webber could not be reached for comment, but Uni- versity sophomore Jake Feldman, don- ning a Michigan No. 4 jersey, spoke his behalf. "Yo, C-Webb was the reason I came here," Feldman said. "I make my girlfriend give me head while wearing this jersey. I know my boy would be glad to see the banner back up." As would numerous Michigan fans who view the 1989 National Championship banner and the women's basketball appearance banner as the only banners with any significance in Crisler Arena. The retraction of the sanctions has left Amaker feeling as though he should rethink his pregame cliches. "I just tell them, 'Be Michigan,"' Amaker said. "And by 'Be Michigan' I mean make game-winning free throws with only three seconds left on the clock and take money when you want it." Maize Rage superfan Brian Grosser was ecstatic about the news. rectio"It's not about sanctions, it's not about losses and it's not about raising the banners," Grosser said. "It's all about tha Rage. The Rage has been the life- force of this win streak with cheers like the H-bomb and 'Here we go Michi- gan.' Without these cheers, the student section would be lost." I At 6-1 in the Big Ten and 13-7 over- all, the Wolverines * are on borderline of.> being in the NCAA re decided today. ESPN's Lunardi believes that e a chance if the NCAA is its previous admission of ob as a licensed bracke- nine the 64 best teams in idn't take money from CHiNESEJEW/Dal ect a bracket," Lunardi Michigan Athletic Director Bill Martin is elated at his ruling that Michigan will not face sanctions lichigan just doesn't fit and h hr t the 2003 NCAA Tournament. I S t UT..LICK ING SOME- : TH I T° DA , ; EFF, AND BR AN SH NEXT YEAR' R C SS - BRADY, ICH C RT Y IN THE YEAR TO CO1M .} 9 Tired of being a Want to be a YOU GUYS ARE KICK-ASS AND WILL CARRY ON AN AMAZING LEGACY OF DAILY SPORTS. You've got the business savvy, but things aren't challenging. Well, come joint Business Staff at the Michigan Daily and become an Account Executive for Spring/Summer or Fall/Winter '03/'04. You will sell advertising locally and nationally, manage your own account territory, create ad copy, and earn commission based pay. the I6 w~~m I I ~~ni~vmity of Mic~hl~san 2Tp! -Fl eu 28 Taps! _ Full Menu!