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4B -The Michigan Daily - Weekeid Mag&ziie - Thursday, February 14, 2002
An anti-populist guide to a Valentine's night out
The Michigan Daily - Weekend Maguzine
E3
ELITE ENTERTAINMENT EXPOSI
By Michael Grass
Daily Food and Drink Critic
If you are reading this right now,
you or your significant other most
likely have reservations booked, a bot-
tle of wine selected and a box of
chocolates wrapped in a bow. Yes, it is
Valentine's Day, and there's little you
can do to change tonight's plans,
whatever they may be. All respectable
restaurants in town, and numerous
"thought-to-be good" dining estab-
lishments are booked with thousands
of romantic, sappy Ann Arbor love-
birds and local high school sweet-
hearts festooned with ugly
boutonnieres and corsages competing
with midterm-stressed University stu-
dents for tables.
Just know that Valentine's Day is a
holiday trumped up by the greeting
card and confectioners industry, and if
you get it wrong this year, know that
r 't
Ca " ,AcplcMaala,
Jamic, fhaas& SPare
it's not the end of the world. If you're
going to, be around Ann Arbor next
year, take a few lessons here and
make next year's Valentine's a far-
superior evening.
Laying some ground rules:
Picking the right place
Note to the guys: If you made a
reservation anywhere on or near South
University Avenue, you are pathetic.
Going to Good Time Charley's or the
Brown Jug may be good for drinks,
but not for a romantic dinner. If you
plan to bring your date to Pizza
House tonight, you should have
thought ahead and made reservations
downtown.
The popular standards that are
familiar to most University students
are Gratzi (326 S. Main St.), Real
Seafood Company (341 S. Main St.),
The Chop House (322 S. Main St.),
Palio (347 S. Main St.) and.The
Gandy Dancer (401 Depot St.). These
are the places you. go to when your
parents are in town. And obviously,
since most students don't frequent
downtown that much, knowledge of
what lies west of State Street is often
limited. But there is much, much more
to Ann Arbor than the obvious. Select-
ing the right restaurant can make this
special day even more romantic.
Quality over quantity
But like many over-commercialized
American holidays, lovebirds can often
become mired in the mass-appeal of
Valentine's Day and emphasize gluttony
and kitsch rather than quality food and a
one-of-a-kind environment.
To do Valentine's Day in Ann Arbor
right, you need to find a restaurant that
is something out of the ordinary.
Would you believe that one of the
city's best restaurants is located across
the street from the Modern Languages
Building? That's right, Escoffier (300
S. Thayer St.) is probably Ann Arbor's
best kept secret for Valentine's Day.
Escoffier doesn't advertise itself; you
can walk past the Bell Tower Hotel and
not even know that the city's finest
French dining can be found off its
lobby.
If you like mood lighting coupled
with French and Italian provincial fare,
try the Earle (121 W. Washington St.).
Located in the basement of a historic
The Earle is known as one of Ann Arbor's most romantic restaurants.
commercial building, the Earle, like
Escoffler, is frequented by the Universi-
ty's power-brokers. Twice when I've
been there, Regent Rebecca McGowan
(D-Ann Arbor) dined a couple tables
away. (It's rumored that former Univer-
sity President Lee Bollinger would dine
SUNIVERSITY OF CA LIFORNIA, BERKELEY
SUMMER SESSIONS
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WHERE WILL YOU BE THIS SUMMER?
N.-I..
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there with his wife Jean because of the
restaurant's secluded environment.)
If you want to take the "eye" out of
Eye-talian cuisine, try Bela Ciao (118
W Liberty St.) for authentic Italian cui-
sine. Here, they aren't going to slap
marinara sauce on a bed of spaghetti
and say tres magnifique. Though it may
be shocking to some myopic Americans
that not all Italian food is pasta
slathered with sauce, non-Eye-talian
food can center on a nice cut of beef or
veal and fine antipasti that go a little
farther than fried mozzarella sticks.
Bella Ciao is probably the best unas-
suming Italian restaurants in Ann Arbor
that doesn't cater to the masses. Its inti-
mate dining room makes for a perfect
Valentine's Day meal. (By the way, the
Earle and Bella Ciao were ranked the
two best romantic restaurants last year
in the Ann Arbor Current.)
If you seek a non-traditional Valen-
tine's Day meal, two other restaurants
come to mind. For an interactive and
out-of-the ordinary meal, go to the
Blue Nile (221 E. Washington St.). If
you like Ethiopian food or are adventur-
ous in general, eating with your hands
at a traditional woven-basket table with
your date might be just what you're
looking for.
Restaurancja Amadeus (122. E.
Washington St.) might be a good selec-
tion if you like an intimate and unas-
suming atmosphere and want to
recreate your trip to Prague last spring
break. Though the restaurant does not
focus on the cuisine of any individual
European country, the menu samples
from Polish, German and Hungarian
food. The place has great Viennese cof-
fee and live classical music in the
evening. And like your Prague adven-
ture, it's cheap in comparison to other
restaurants downtown.
"Oooooo, you've got $801"
Dennis Miller is right - limos are
stupid. But no doubt, tonight at least
one white limousine is going to cruise
South U., State Street, or past the line of
single people outside Scorekeeper's.
You never know, the degenerate love-
bird occupants might even stand up
through the moon roof to proclaim
their love to the world.
See NIGHT OUT, Page 1OB
Extreme close-up! Whoooah!
BILLLBOARDI
TOP 10
1. Drive, Alan Jackson - Well,
at least this tool is better than Creed.
2. Weathered, Creed - So, the
masters of pop have suggested that
the rest of the world is finally catch-
ing up to them. Pearl Jam shits on
you.
3. Hybrid Theory, Linkin
Park - Like Lincoln Logs, only
for people too dumb to play with
Lincoln Logs.
4. Word of Mouf, Ludacris -
Oh, thuck them. In the aff.
5. Silver Side Up, Nickelback -
Put the silver side back down, and
please, please stop playing this terrible
record.
6. Pain is Love, Ja Rule - And
bad singin' is bad singin'.
7. Stillmatic, Nas - God,
we're sick of talking about this
crap music. Why didn't Buscemi
get a best supporting actor nod at
the Oscars this year?
8. 8701, Usher- Knock knock.
Who's there? Usher. Usher who?
God, Usher stinks like green pee.
9. M!ssundaztood, Pink - Hey,
she made "Rollerball" even more
painful to sit through.
10. No More Drama, Mary J.
Blige - Remember when she
sang with Dre? Yeah, that was ter-
rible.
LUKE SMITH - LESS T HANZERO
BYE BYE LOVE
MAY THE ORGASM FAIRY NE'ER AGAIN VISIT YOUR BED
ek-:psar bitch. A ,ea eiab A e, andodfever. Of course, we (men plan on
bitch.Desp1 itehe overwhelming pain and traiua having asmuch casual sex to replace our old partneras
of the actua breakupn and the n uclear fallout physically posible. Look at evolutionary psychology.-.
of losing that "special someone" (so special that you've we have enoughspermt for all the ladies in the world. This
been kicked to the curb by them), the saddest prt of a pseudo-itellectual comvincing of their previous partners
break-up is undoubtedly the hopeless boobdrn that fol- now banal sexuality is simply the male misconception.
lows the death rattle of a relationship. Women are most certainly not above their own female
Regardless of who in fact ends the relationsip, males fantasies about relationships gone sour, Thstead of coping
and females alike find themselves haunted by the depar- on a singular level with the loss of their man, women take
tare of their tfrmer "true loe." This psyhosexual demo- a group-therapeutic approach The proverbial song for the
nization of ourselves and our dearly dparted leads men dumped is't a song that women sing alone.
and women alike to absurdist p st-rlationlip refe. This grop unselin proac enerallyinvolves
tions. phns fbes& erry's ice ream ad a slew of movies,
In the {zsery crashantd burn «of a regaionh gnes$r e .an-hating, s::e romantc com edy0, 6 .The broken-
........................................".',....:.......:::.......:::................:::..................................................................the............g__e...r..._me...........s_ .......ti...:.._y..Th.br.ken.
the most real insecurities of mten everywhere surface in hearted woman and her friends will jabber and gossip and
the smke. These enimerting insecurities damn our will come to the conclusion that the man was little more than;
and. onden0 our oh--so fragile egos. Ranaly, one a dik. Her friends will rise to ber defense and begin to
would expect these insecumrities to be about our apathetic~ shed any formuer alliaunes with the man, all to show their
tal .mao o u inability to ask about how the near-mititani loyalty toaohe h pee stin dow.
...women are feeling, but realistically tihis is not the vase. This sort of loyalty is wat results in the mutitr versus
Istead, m~en dwell simpjly on one factor. Sex. singular man bitch-fests which ,most have witnessed at
.................................................................................................................................A...t................th.......on.pont.o .nthe inther loal )...g ail
fully i his 1995 novel "High Fidelity." Readers (and~ Women may also convince themselves that the man
more likely moieoes) watched Rob ftumblefuck his who .ef the ilawy eatatdt hm ep
way through the end of his relationsip. Hornby painfts a the way the relationship ended, sm.wmmy ini fact.
painfuiy realistic ima~ge of Rob sweating in bed thinking forever believe that their Rob will always &hase them, no
. ad......le pos-relationship eros. matter the situation. Whenever Laura ounters Rob she
..This is our first stage of grieving. We sit an'd ponder will feverously toss her hair and Dibble Onl her pinky. No,
ou epectve ex having wildly incredible 'monkey-sex she doesn't want himi back, but she's trying as hard assh
with some new man, fictitios or alleged. She's always can tomak hm tink that -andmore imiportantly h'
havng he estsexof her life in pur heads. The visual- trying to make him want her.
ization skills of the male are completely reversed. This desperate grasp to recapture the male heart is the
After we've thoroughly' thought about our respective woman's way of regaining power after the relaionship
ex's roll in the hay with some other man, we enter a sec- has ended. She will forever be in control of him and his
onfrdarker period of grief. The Condemnation. We actions. Th1e premonition that the male will always want
turn to aggression and damn two parties. First, we damn her back is Uile more than a female fana.
the woman, we think and hope and pray that the last The reactions and responses to breaking up aea
orgasm our Lauras will ever have is with us. Essentially, pathetic as the people involved in these sob-stories which
we plead with some sort of fictitious orgasm fairy to stop touch everyone, whether they are a cheap participant in
visiting with our 1former half. The orgy-fairy, if it listens the relational game or one of the girls screaming at the
to our demands carefuilly, will never again come to her poor man in the name of their girlfriend. These reactions
bed. Thismyb a little extreme, but those who hiav sang are for the weak, the ill--hearted and for everyone else but
the song for the dumped will understand the plight - me. P'm above all of this relational politik.
Although the fairy never seems to get it. B~ut if you're reading, girl, you'll never scream my
break will generally warrant a far greater punishment ways from Sunday if you think I m ever coming back to
from men. We damn the woman and hope that she never your ass. Biteh.
again has sex with anyone. Never. N4othing& A nun in bd ~- Luke Smith can be rached at Iukem mich ed
VISIT IISTANT PM ACES
EARN UNIVERSITY CREDIT
OPEN ENR OLLMENT
COMBINE TRA VEL, AD VENTURE, AND ACADEMICS
FINANCIAL AID IS A VAILABLE
0 f%\
For more information call or write:
WHAT'S NEWS IN ENTERTAINMENT
11
SARANDON, ROBBINS TO MAKE
SEPT. 11 LOVE STORY - Actress
Susan Sarandon is set to star in a
new film directed by her long-time
partner Tim Robbins. Zap2it.com
reports that the film will chronicle
the tragic love affair between Rick
Rescorla and Susan Greer. Rescorla
was head of security at Morgan
Stanley Dean Witter, and died while
trying to evacuate people in the
aftermath of the Sept. 11 attack on
the World Trade Center.
KEVIN SPACEY TO TAKE BREAK
FROM ACTING - Zap2it.com reports
that the Oscar winning actor
announced at the Berlin Film
Festival that he would quit acting for
a while to concentrate on his produc-
tion company, Trigger Street
Productions.
BRITNEY WILL NOT TAKE HER
CLOTHES OFF WHERE YOU CAN SEE
IT -- Britney Spears has stated she
will never do a nude scene in a
film. The Internet Movie
Database reported that
Britney was horrified by
recent celebrated nude
scenes by Halle Berry.
Spears states that she
would get a body double if
nudity was "necessary for
the character."
DALY DELVES INTO
NEW RECORD DEAL -
MTV personality Caron
Daly and Loud Records
CEO Steve Rifkind have
formed a new record label.
The label will feature the
Wu-tang Clan, Xzibit, courtesy of b
Three 6 Mafia and Funkmaster Flex.
In a press release, Rifkind sugests
Daly's inexperience with production
is not an issue. "With Carson's
y worldwide popularity and his gen-
uine love and knowledge of music,
this venture should be a block-
buster," Rifkind says. "We're
betting that he'll be able to
attract the best talent from
across he board, from
rock to hip-hop."
THE REAL WORLD IN
THE CITY OF SIN - The
12th season of "The Real
World," which begins shooting
this week, will be set in Las
Vegas. CNN reports that the
group will be staying on the
28th floor of the Palm resort
ntanyspears.com near the Strip.
THE O.J. ALL STAR
OF THE WEEK
R KELLY
The R&B singer has been accuse
of having sex with an underage gi
and videotaping the act. Chicag
police, who have been investigatir
Kelly -for over three years, receive
the tape anonymously. Kelly, who ha
been sued by several underage womc
with whom he has allegedly bee
involved, was also briefly married
Aaliyah when she was 15. Kelly
lawyer claims that the tape is fake.
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