Saturday, March 10,,1945
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Pace. Twen -v)Pven
gtatahv15H M HID L
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Uncle Hirams Cozy Corner for Tale Lovers
Cli C a r 1 ie grandmother had handed down to ruite exubeant with oy, by point- Auntie Chalice and Flossie were dead. How the childe- toed
her, and although to be truthful img out to him that, after all, he at first puzzled as to what hap- as they ran to his bod: I eva
she enjoyed the praise, she didnt had completely mwised the baby pened but when the story came to beautiful shot. The whe: top of
Ch ipm unk n try to act like a big-shot or any- carriage." lisht, it became quite evident that his head had been blow s t, and
i Ithing. Oh That Gas!! Larry, per usual,. had put his foot the revenooer was such anny
At the time of our story, Charlie Somewhat chastened. Larry in it again. sight, lying on the grou The
Latest T h ills Chipmunk was entertaining two drove on, determined in his heart Kiddies, don't be a Larry, and joy of the children way esri more
visitors, Little Larry Louse, and to do a better job next time, but always be putting your foot into amplified when Autim Chahce,
Flossie Fire-bug. Larry was a pest, unfortunately the opportunity ne- something. Please, please don't be who had just come pan n op to
Get Off the Wagon, Reader I'm ashamed to say, but Flossie v_ peesentird itself. Th cor went a Larry and always be an awful the bleeding corpse, ob. pay-
Father's Home with a Load Firebug was a real cute girl, and out past the city, until it was cvi- pest. Remember that your Uncle fully:
as they say, "hot stuff". While dent to all that at last they were Hiram doesn't love pests, and you "He'll never get alie:t that
By DR. JOSEPH GOEBBELS the three children were playing definitely out in the country. On want your Uncle Hiram to love way!
Well, kiddies, here's your good in the garbage heap (they were either side of the road, waving yu, don't you? The shooting of the 'ooer
playing a game of baseball with fields of poppies were blooming, What a Set-Up! was celebrated, re-celebt. a
old Uncle Hiram, ready to bring Wsclbaer-ee n
you another one of his own peachy old dried out orange rinds and casting their fragrant odors on all It seems that w'tse carry and re-re-celebrated, over t h I t go-
stories that you love so well. He- meat bones), suddenly Charlie hit the breezes. Auntie Chalice was Charlie had gone into the farm- ing ten gallon keg, a ossie
fore I begin my story today twhich on a famous idea. so despondent on the sight of the house to get some food, Larry had received only the hig rols
promises to be a real humdinger) "Let's have a picnic, out in poppies, and the memories that purposely started to make a lot of for her well-aimed shot.
first I want to make sure that the country" they gave her of the good old days, noise, so that the farmer would
when she was hat-check girl hear, and catch Charlie with the y this time, the hla te ras
your hands and faces are all wash- "A capital idea!" the other two an opium den, that she burst out food. Charlie had done the only beginning to sink below the hnri-
ed, abr your teeth are all care- children shouted, so the three of crying. Charlie Chipmunk, who thing he could possibly have done, zon, and Auntie Chaice he "ens-
fully brushed, so that you will be them immediately rushed inside knew his aunt well, with rare under the circumstances, and had es still intact from the a teda
clean, when you hear your Uncle the cave to ask Auntie Chalice, presence of mind, remedied the beat up Larry to keep him from the soul-warming corn. si sded
Hiram. You kiddies know very Auntie Chalice thought it over a situation, by breaking out the jug making noise. Auntie Chalice and ruefully that it was tis to go
well how Uncle Hiram hates the minuto and then decided that it of corn whiskey. In no time at Flossie were quite proud and pleas- home to the garbage . So
ywould be great fun to have a pic- all, after everyone had taken a ed, with Charlie, and to reward they all piled into the o' p'py
have dirty ears, and faces, and nic in the country. few slugs, they were all feeling him they let him have four extra and as they went thetr mer 'ay
-teeth. Well are you all clean now? "I have just finished making a happy again, and in this merry slugs from the rapidly-emptying homeward, so we leave Charlie
Good I guess I can start now ten-gallon barrel of corn whis- manner they proceeded on their keg. Auntie Chalice was only dis- Chipmunk, Auntie Chhm Chip-
with my latest episodes about key," she exclaimed, "and we could way. appointed that she had not let munk, Flossy Fiebug Lay house
Charlie Chipmunk and His. kill it off out in the country. Also, After another hour of driving, Charlie take along the sawed-off and your good old Une Hiram,
Friends. I could bring my sawed-off shot- Auntie Chalice, looking out the shotgun, so that he could have who says, Keep your hand face,
gun, and if there are any revenu-;car window, noticed that the pop- taught Larry "a real lesson" and teeth clean, and I wi.l aways
1 r W Start ers around, w e could have our py fields had been succeeded by The happy picknickers, recon - lve you.hi i uy w o t p i "m a l a o n b g l
Charlie Chipmunk, as you well shooting practice.'' marijuana plantations, and being cited with each other over some
know, lived in the hollowed out Where Did They Get Gas? an avid reader of the current news, more of Auntie Chalice's excellent
cave in the garbage heap at the Accordingly, all four of them, she immediately conjectured that brev, settled down to their sump-
other end of town. Charlie lived Auntie Chalice Chipmunk, Charlie they had at last reached the hn- tuous reast, which Nature and
with his Aunt Chalice Chipmunk, Chipmunk, Larry Louse, and Flos- -- - the innocent farmer had supplied
a merry widow, who had unfor- sie Firebug,. jumped with glee, and' them with. After the meal they
tunately been unable to check ac- piled into the old buggy (a' reno- were all very drowsy, and soon
curately on her three husbands' vated hearse), putting the ten- settled down to a quiet nap under
arsenic capacity. In their happy gallon jug in the front seat, and the leads of several deserted oil
home i the garbge heap, visitors the sawed-off shotgun in the back 1 wells, which, gaily adorned with
were always coming i from time seat. Immediately an argument C ais adorhedapith
to time and spending a little time ensued as to who would do the 'noc o gigns, hdstmaper-
with he hppy hipmuk faily.ane of gigantic Chritnas trees, 1
with the ha y chipmunk family, driving. Each insisted that he Here Comes the evenoer
Sammy Skunk from Brooklyn, was the best driver, while Flossie HA/eraCosthurseofe
Slimy Snake from Chicago, Ossie Firebug, using her feminine wiles . Afptr about two bouts of sleep,
Otter from Alliance, and Bennie just cried and cried and cried. mtetrupted only by Flossie's thu-
the Boom-Boom from Boston were derous snores, the sleepers were
Finally Auntie Chalice decided awakened as though by some in-
always dropping in to sample some that since Larry Louse was the nate instinctive tvinge, Off in the -
of Aunt Chalice Chipmunks ex-thtsneLry ouewshe-=
cellent corn whiskey. They always youngest and the most pestiest, he ' "" distance, mounted on the latest
said that no one could make corn could do the driving. So, after style of Government jeeps, was-
isaid th t oonencou e - shdlcdbailing out the back seat heie could it be?-yes it was-a reve- ' 0
wikylkAuteCaieBo-Flossie had cried, they started out voe ellv eeoent ' 0
merrily on their way. Leaving the more than two miles away in the
self as a connoisseur of good corn mrethn domiesawy n h
whiskey, said that he would leave city proper and chugging out past distance. The children almost "'
hisky said the woslevethe outskirts, the old hearse came sprang out of their skins, (in fact,
his rcky hose off the coast of to an intersection at which an old Auntie Chalice had to hold Flossie
'San Francisco anytime, just ' woman was crossing the street, by her ankle skin to keep her from
e epushing a baby carriage. With doing ust that, with happiness
home brew, the resounding cry of, "Geson at the opportunity of seeing a real CL OU D SO FT
At Last, Whiskey! imo," Larry stepped as hard as he UNCLE HIRAM live revenooer.
Auntie Chalice was not the kind could on the gas pedal, and bore They all clamored for the first
who lets praise go to her head, down on the old woman. He crash est to goodness country. So with Tshot at the man, and each felt
and I certainly hope that you chil- ed into her head-long, sending her a sigh, after clubbing Larry over 'that he for she) was the one that
dren are also not the type who let fifteen feet in the air, and she the head several tnes with the deserved it most. Auntie Chalice
praise go to your heads. You can landed with a delightfully-crunch- window sash, the old car creaked had to decide in a hurry because
all do well to take a lesson from ing thwack. The occupants of the to a halt, and the weary travelers the revenooer was rapidly
Auntie Chalice on that score. She car all cheered, but Auntie Chal- piled out, bearing the still almost nO e ra idl getting
just went on making her own ice, always the cool one, admon- full jug, and the loaded sawed-off born of long experience, she de-
whiskey with the recipe that her ished Larry, who by this time was shotgun. cided that since Flossie was a girl,
_ Auntie Takes Over and hadn't had' too much fun so
Auntie Chalice took immediate far on the trip, she ought to be the -
control and rule over the little one to have the coveted honor.
party, assigning various duties for So, Flossie picked up the heavy Inspired, these desiigneT.
each of the young picknickers. gun, jammed the butt in her right A concealed inner Eft 'that
Charlie and Larry were delegated arm-pit, looked carefully down the makes walking heaverly. .
tO P Taste to get the food from a nearby sights, breathed just as she had makes your feet lost'
farmhouse, while Flossie being a been taught to do, and pulled the divinely small.
girl, and naturally the domestic triggery
type, was to stay and help Auntie There was a tremendous explo-
Chalice get things ready. sion and cloud of smoke, as Flossie
Larry and Charlie disappeared was knocked twenty-three feet,
and reappeared twenty minutes backwards. In the distance, the
FOR LUNCH, for that later, bearing a side of beef, three revenoer leaped up, grasped his
g\ , gallons of pineapple mixed with head, and toppled out of the jeep-
arange juice, six rashers of bacon, ------------ _---
UfteZrnoon ttettjbd9lt4SS. eight cartons of mentholated cig-
arettes, and two bottles of alka- THE
and frthe snack seltzer. Charlie swat striding in
-efront while Larry, with a black
eye, bloody nose, and a tremen-
a. dous bruise on the side of his face,
t n s a " straggled along in the background.
complete fromi the
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