SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19, 1924
THE. MICHIGAN DAILY
t1t
-Sorts
Mahally, Not Altrock, Napoleo
n o Diamond
wet, and that me and' not
Apologies to Ring Lardner)
To the Editor. A writer such as I
is, as a gen. rule, above the efforts
of some cheap buffoon to intimate his
stuff, and this is the 1st time I have
ever found myself in a position to
make the pen the sword and defend
my standing in the literary world.
I refer, of course, to that comical fel-
low Altrock, who has been reading
this writer's paralizing humor for
many yrs. and who now feels that he
is able to tear of some stuff of his
own which can hope to take the place
in the heart of the U. S. public wh'ich
my brain babies has always held.
Now, in the 1st place, dear reader,
Mr. Altrock has not only made a
frugal-futile attempt to steal my
inimitable stuff, but to place hisself
in the top notch as a strategy, mod-
istely taking credits for the victorys
of Mgr. Harris and his Washington
Senators in the recent World Serious.
As a matter of cool fact, it is the
writer who put the winning outfit
;cross and made them what they are
today( Oct 13 inst.). As a man of
the pen, it is my Ernest hope that my
readers, Legion in no., will not ber
iissled by Mr. Altrock's crude at-
temps to intimate me because it is a
plane fact, as plane as Mr Altrock's
nose, that he cannot look X eyed at
this writer.
To prove my pt. Mgr. harris come
to me before the serious was to start,
with gloom wrote all over his contin-
nents, and he says Ellswcrth, he say:.,
"how and the he-Il an I going to
trim these here now giants." I am
afraid'they have got the Indion sign on
me." The writer smiled cooly, and
flocking his mustashes, says "Bucky
(I always call him Bueky) this is not
time for gloom. "Be an optometrist
with regards to the Serious and its
yours. But lie says how do you mean.
Well Bucky I comes back practically
like a flash, "I will tell you how to
do it. The big jam is yours because
Ellsworth Mahaffy is on the job." He
says yes Ellie I know". But I cut
him short with a nasty look because
it has always been a pt. with me to
keep these athaletes at a distance.
"Never mine the familities, I says
but listen. You will cop if you will
do as I say. "I am all ears Mr. Ma
haffy he says "shoot". "Well by boy
I says generally-genially, all you has
got to do is win 4 games and the
Serious is yours. Well, wile the boy'
mgr. was getting his breath back, the
writer strolls out into the open spaces,
and makes some nasty cracks at some
of his admires who crowd around and
then goes back to find Harris in the
same positions as I left him. When
se sees Mahaffy breeze in he leaps to
-his dogs and yelps ElIsworth you
have did it I will win this Serious.
two years after being promoted to the
position of mgr. Poor old Jim is till
back in the 3 Eye league because he
did not come to Mahaffy for help.
I cuts in and says now Bucky there isz
a few' details witch is victual to this
affair. In the 1st place, you must
swing back and 4th with the giants
for 6 games, in order to fool them.
Do not let them in on the secret that
you are out after 4 games, and in
trock is all
him is the baby who is the strategy
of the 1st water. If any 1 doesnt
believe me, I will talk to them. per-
sonly and show them.
~Ellsworth: Mahaffy,
HARVARD FANS LOOK FOR RETURN OF OLD DAYS
ehrke And Hammond Approach Kicking Stars Of Former Years
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By We IH. S.
Mecca has nothing. on Urbana.
Thursday and Friday afternoon
every road between Ann Arbor and the
Illini lair was jammed with pilgrims
traveling in every description of con-
voyance. Ford andl Packards went
side by side. Occasionally one of the
former would drop out of the line
for an hour or so for repairs but
when the opening whistle of the great
tussle down in Urbana was sounded,
most, if not all of the Fordsters were
there.
Even mighty Chicago saw evi-
dencos of the pilgrimage. Yellow
-nd llue "Wrecks" paraded up and
lown Michigan Avenue 'phur sday
mdtl I'ridkay nights before continuing
,n their journey to the scene of the
game. Villagers in small Indiana
and Illinois tiowns were awakened
?rcm their' slumbers through the two
nights by roaring hacks, hailing from
Ann Arbor.
It might be interesting to the in-
habitants of this country to look into
be way in which athletics are con-
.lucted in England. English athletics
,.re as free from all *igns of profes-
sionalism as those in America are
illed with it. Not a single coach at
Oxford, for example, is remunerated
for his services. Captains of the var-
ious teams and alumni who have
played on the teams during their un-
d-ergraduate days give all of the in-
struction which is had by the athletes.
Even the crew is not coached by a
paid man.
The variety of sports in which the
English engage is la rgely responsiblc
for the way in which they are con-
ducted. Rugby, rowing, cricket, and
the like do not demand the elaborate
instruction which must necessarily
be given to the members f football,
basketball, baseball and track teams
in this country.
Michigan has just two teams which.
are not handled by paid coaches.
The tennis and golf teams , are or-
ganized and coached by members of T
the faculty. Men who have given their
lives to the study of athletics and who
arc paid for directing aihletic teams
are nevertheless deserving of much
consideration. Although considered
as professicnal athletes by n'any,
they are in reality merely supervisors1
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Two men are present in the ranks cellelit, ard he will probai}y (10 the ._'riison. In that year, he scored a
.of the Harvard football squad who defensive booting all season. Ircp kick in the Princeton battle
give promise of carrying out the past The past history of Harvard foot- from the 45 yard line, one against I
tradition that the Crimson can wan .ball shows that the Cambridge in- Penns fro the 40 yard line and
as many games by kicking as by any stitfition has boasted some of the, y
other means. great est kickers in the annals of the many other less noteworthy goals.
Howard Geh~rke, who was not in gr'i0ron spot. Probably the most The following year he hung la,'
school last year, has returned, and sensational feat was that of Charlie a offv asagainst Corll, a
shows all his old ability at booting Bnickley in the Yale game of 1913. feat that has since been equalled by
the ball. He was counted upon strong- In that memorale battle, Charle on 88 Cl nd Walter one svel
ly for the. team two years ago, but licked five field goals, ranging fron rIn 18y3, Cowling dropped one over
became ineligible and was unable 38 to the 20 yard lines, for the only from the 55 yard line, the longest
to play ins anuy o f th- games. Ie is i points scoredc- by Harvard. The final kick of its kind in Harvard history.
devoting almost his whole time to score was'15 to 5. In the same year,
mastering drop kicks and placements, Brickley booted three goals against A LIMITED, unabriged edition of
and is so proficient at the art that Princeton,. and in 1912, he scored a six of'Zola's Rougon-Macquart series
Harvard rooters predict a return' to placement from the 47 yard line will be published this month by Boni
the days when ickley, Mahan, and against the same team. and Liveright. The titles are Nana
Crimson stars of other days, In 1916, I~hrween pulled the Prince- 'translated by Victor Plarr, La Terre
were in their prime. ton game out of the fire with a 35- translated by Ernest Dowson, La
The other man with a toe that is yard drop kick, and in '15, Eddie Curre tra'nslated by A. Teixeira de
bringing joy to the camp is Jack Mahan scored a placement against Mattes, L' Assommoir translated by.
Hammond, who is. assuming the bur- the Tigers from the 41 yard 'mark. Arthur Symo-ns, Pining Hot translat-
den. of practicaflyrall' of the p'unting? As early as 188x, Trafford made foot- ed by Percy Pinkerton, and Germinal
llis sho-wi'ng to date'% has >been ex ball history with his booting for the translated by Havelock Ellis.
P
of athletics who earn every cent theyl!
are paid and generally considerably
more. The best football coaches in
the country do not receive more thawn
IC
i
I M- A Ann _.,. , I
the 7th, run it for twelve innings in $10,000 a year.
order that they will be misssled at l
your actions. Use Walt Johnson (1I As long as we have our present
always call him Walt) for the last system of athletics in this country.
4 frames (innings). When you do there will be a need for men to direct,
not go ahead in 9 innings they will not and control athletics. If, at some far,
be onte you ,on acct. they will think distant time, athletics should becomed
you are not after the game. Then Universal and personal, rather than"
get' McNeely to hit a 2 ply wallop I restricted and impersonal as they,
(viz. a 2 base hit) in the twelfth with are at the present time, the peoples
a pear of your boys on the sacks j of this country may expect to see the
(bases) and the Serious is yrs. "almighty dollar" driven from a placer
This evidents goes to show that Al- among the sportsmen of America.
i
DANCE. AT
0 RANGER 'S
Drugs IK ~ d
Yom'g
Satisfied
At the store you choose
as your photographic head-
quarters you want, ready
for your selection, a coin-
plete, up-to-the-minute as-
sortment of Kodak and
Brownie cameras.
But perhaps most im-
portant of all, you want to
kuow that your films will
be dcv loped carefully;
that your prints will he on
Velox, "top notchers" for
quality.
This is the store that's
ready to take care of just
such wants. You'll be sat-
isfied-entirely satisfied-
where the
Music har-
monizes with
the Surround-
ings, Where
you may hear
your favorite
dance hits, and
may enjoy. an
excellent
Tickets are on
sale- at
Slater's Book Shop (State Street)
VanBoven, Cress & Thompson (South University Ave.)
U'1
II