fHE MICHIGAN DAILY
OFFICIAL NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY
Published every morning except Monday dering; the Uniiver-
sity year by the Board in Control of Student PublicatUons.
MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
,The Associated Press is exclusiely entitled to the use for
.republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise
credited in this paper and the local news published Inerein.
Entered at the postoffice at Ann Arbor, Michigan, as second
Subscription by carrier or mail, $3.50.
Offices: Ann Arbor Press building, Maynard Street.
. Phones: Business, 96o; Editorial, 2414.
Communications not to exceed 300 words, if signed, the sig-
nature not necessarily to appear in print, but as an evidence of
faith, and notices of events will be published in The Daily at tl e
discretio~n of the Editor, if '.et at or mailed to Tlhe Daily office.
Unsigned communications will receive no consideration. No man-
uscript will be returned unless the writer incloses postage.
The Daily does not necessarily endorse the sentinments ex-
pressed in the communications.
"What's Going On" notices will not be received after 8 o'clock
on the evening preceding insertion.
MANAGING EDITOR............GEORGE O. bROPHY JR.
News Editor...............................Chessdr M. Campbell
T. H. Adams H. W. Hitchcock
B. P. Campbell J. E. McManis
J.I. Dakin T. W. Sargent, Jr.
Sunday Editor .........-..-.........-. - .- .,-J. A. Bernstein
Editorials............... Lee Woodruff, I,. A. Kern, T. j. Whinery
Assistant News..............................E. P. Lovejoy Jr.
Sports .......................................-Robert Angell
Women's Editor...............................Mary D. Lane
Telescope........................................ Jack W. Kelly
Paul G. Weber
G. E. Clark
Harry B. Grundy
Robert E. Adams
Thomas E. Dewey
Leo J. Hershdorfer
Frank HI. MIcPike
J. A. Bacon
W. W. Ottaway
J. W. H-ume, Jr.
H. E. H-owlet
M. A. Klaver
E. R. Meiss
Gerald P. Overton
William 1. Riley jr.
BUSINESS MANAGER ...-.....LEGRAND A. GAINES JR.
Advertising .........,...............-..............D. - Joyce
Accounts ....................................... r IR. Priehs
Circulatin ...........................V. F. illery
R. W. Lambrecht P. H Hutchinson N. W. Robertson
B. G. Gower F. A. Cross R. C. Stearnes
Sigmund Kunstadter Robt. L. Davis Thos. L. Rice
Lester W. Millard M. M. Moule D. G. Slawsor
T . nHml r. D. S. Watterworth R. G. Burchell
"never say die" spirit of Michigan teams and Mich-
igan men is needed above all else.
THE LIT-ENGINEER SMOKER
The eternal Lit-Engineer squabble is one of the
best among the many standing jokes in which the
campus rejoices. "Who works the hardest" is al-
most as popular and sure a battle-opener in a Mich
igan gathering as "Who won the war" in an Amer-
ican Legion meeting.
Realizing the great need of getting this subject
off the chests of seniors in both schools, and with
the laudable aim of bringing about a closer ac-
quaintance among all seniors before commence-
ment, the two graduating classes have determined
on a combined Senior Lit-Engineer smoker for
Thursday night, with speeches by President Marion
L. Burton and the two deans, and a general glad-
handing and opinion exchange by everyone. Get
your ticket Monday, and come prepared with ar-
gunents. On the success'of this first smoker de-
pends its adoption as a yearly custom.
TODDLE, YES; SHIMMY, NO!
(From The Daily Illini)
Enforcement of the League-Union rule against
the toddle and the shimmy will never be satisfac-
torily enforced here because it is based upon a fal-
lacy. That fallacy is just as evident and just as
well understood by the majority of the students as
the one in a rule which would say, "We place the
ban upon the drinking of coca-cola and whisky."
There is nothing unseemly about the toddle - it
is simply a step which has arisen in response to
the short, staccato time which has come into vogue,
and lack of floor space which has made impossible
the long, gliding steps formerly so popular. The
shimmy, on the other hand, is condenined by all
who have any taste in dancing whatsoever. Only
those who can take delight in the purely sensual
and are devoid of all sense of the appropriate the
aesthetic, have any defense to offer for the shimmy.
The problem, then, is to remove the false analogy
betwen the two dances, allowing students to toddle
without a sense of guilt for breaking a ruling which
demands their support, and dealing much ,more
harshly with the few who continue to shimmy un-
der the protection of an unenforced, because unfair,
The Woman's League and Illinois Union are all-
inclusive student organizations, and it is the duty of
their officers to enforce the will of the student body
as a whole. It is clear that students 4pprove of the
toddle and condemn the shimmy, therefore, it is
the duty of the dance committees of these two .bod-
ies'to revise their ruling in such a way that the
toddle be removed from censorship and the shimmy
and other forms of indecent dancing be more force-
fully dealt with.
The present rule is powerless to eradicate the
dancing evil. The whole idea of sending warnings
to people who dance improperly is weak and child-
isb. They should be spoken to by the chaperones
or the members of the committee whose duty it is
to censor the dancing and sent from the floor in a
way definite enough to show others who are not
qLite sure what is meant by "indecent dancing"
that there really is such a thing in our midst.
Weird sounds from the organ of a Raleigh, N.
C., church, brought the shocked congregatipn
quickly to the loft, where a nine-pound 'possum
was found tangled in the works. After harkening
unwillingly to the strains from a numbe- of open
rooming-house windows, we move that a few 'pos-
sum hunts be started in Ann Arbor.
"Next year it is planned to build garages for the
convenience of students who have cars with them
at the university," reads an item about Rice Insti-
tute, Texas. Michigan's re'quest to the legislature
falls far short-of asking for such an acme of com-
pleteness as this.
TI he Telescope
DETROIT UNITED LINES-
In Effect Nov. 2, 1920
Detroit, nn Arhor and Jackson
(Eastern Standard Time)
Lii-aited and Express cars leave for
Detroit at 6:05 a. m., 7:05 a. m.,
8:10 a. m., and hourly to 9:1.0 p. m.
Lirniteds to Jackson at 8:48 a. m. and
every two hours to 8:48 p. m. Ex-
presses at 9:48 a. m. and e' ery two
hours to 9:48 p. w.
Loeals to Detroit-5:55a.m., 7:00 a.m.
and every two hours to 9:00 p. m.,
also 11:00 p. m. To Ypsilanti only,
11:40 p.m., 12:25 a.m., and 1:15 a.m.
oi.,ails to Jackson-7:M0 a. m., and
S MT -W T
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 1 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 2S 29
Meit: Last season's hats turn-
ed inside out, refinished and re-
blocked with all new trimmings
look just like new, wear just as
long and saves you five to ten
dollars. We do only high class
work. Factory Rat Store, 617
Packard St. Phone 1792.
High Cass Food
I Open 6 a.m. Close 11 p.m
A COMPLETE LINE OF DIARIES
AND DESK CALENDARS
Both Ends of the Diagonal Walk
The January Gennett Records
Feather Your Nest (Fox Trot)
I Love The Land of Old Black Joe (One Step)
J. J. -'"414sca j a .
Persons wishing to secure information concening news for any
issue of The Daily should see the night editor, who has full charge
of all news to be printed that night.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 9, 1921.
Night Editor-RENAUD SHERWOOD.
True wit is keen, snappy, and pungent. It is the
instantaneous reaction of a brilliant mind to a given
situaion. It involves the immediate contrast of
two divergent conceptions so placed that one of
them appears to be ridiculous. For a proper ap-
preciation of a witty quip, one must be thoroughly
conversant with the time, the place, the characters,
and all of the antecedent details which go to make
up the mental complex which has called it forth.
Moreover all of this knowledge must have been
implanted in the mind for some purpose other than
that of springing a joke if the full force of spon-
taneous contrast is to be obtained.
The editors of "Judge" know this better than
we. Nevertheless they are conducting their annual
"College Wit" contest with the aim of collecting
together in one issue of their magazine, "the best
of college wit". Witticisms submitted in this con-
test will not in most cases be at all witty. They
cannot be, in the very, nature of things. Some of
us here at Michigan as at most other universities in
the country, will sit down and spend-painful hours
at the typewriter trying to produce mechanically,
a sparkling, scintillating bit of natural wit. Un-
doubtedly some of us will succeed in making others
laugh at the butts of our jokes, but the laughter
will be as forced as the quips which have caused
it. Wit is an inspiration springing from a real sit-
uation. It must bear the label "genuine" so plainly
that its humor will ring true and appeal to us as
human beings. Only the master can achieve it from
imagination. When we think of spontaneous wit
we remember the stories told of Ambassador
Choate; for successfully created wit we go to Mark
Twain.?How many Mark Twains have we at
THE POOL'S FUTURE
The swimming pool drive was a failure - there
is little need of attempting to dodge the truth -
for only a small fraction of the necessary fifty
thousand dollars was raised. The bald facts show
that only about nine thousand, six hundred dollars
was pledged, and of this amount something over
three thousand dollars was obtained in Ann Arbor
before the drive.
Just where to put the blame is a difficult task,
Alumni had been solicited often in other drives -
some of them were tired of it. Taxes were high
and the prevailing money situation tight. Perhaps
these appear to be plausible alibis, but there is the
fact to face that only about twenty per cent of the
seventeen hundred men who signed to work showed
much action. Social events perhaps claimed a large
share of attention during the holidays.
Already new plans are being considered for defi-
nite action to raise money, and "we'll finish the pool
this year" is the word at the Union. Included in
all ideas, however, is the point that all Michigan
men, as well as those who signed up to solicit,
should feel a moral obligation to continue the
work. Not a single opportunity should be lost to
raise funds by writing to alumni at home, and
spring vacation will furnish a final chance for the
campaigners to "come back" in their work. The
(Fox Tro t)
C. V. PHONOGRAPH SHOP
640 HAVEN AVE.
Formerly Twelfth St.
A Rauz Joke
Her (at the Union dance)-Gosh, I fell
tonight. I think you'll have to get two
weights to keep my feet on the floor.
He-I know of something that will do
yet. I'll go down to the tap room and get
eouple of those Union waffles.
Come Tomorrow to Our January Clearance
Now's Te Tie
Tom Buy Linens*
E'RE advising fraternities and so-
rorities whose Table Linen or Win-
dow Drapery equipments are depleted to
replace them now and take advantage of
our January Clearance prices.
We should be glad to consult with any
representative and suggest the best meth-
ods and what to buy. The J-Hop is com-
ing; get your house in order now.
Recently a friend of mine had the terrible mis-
fortune to be blown to bits by 'the accidental dis-
charge of some blasting powder, while he was
working in a quarry. Can you suggest an appro-
priate epitaph? R. L. S.
Why not something like the following:
"Here rests in piece the body of "
First stude-I tell you I'm opposed to dancing.
The best girl friend I ever had went crazy from
Second ditto-I see, you mightf even say that
dancing made her hopping mad.
Nelson Larson met with an accident last Friday
night, a cant hook striking him in the eye. He is
being attended by Dr. W. W. Walker, who says
his eye will come out all right. - Peshtigo Times.
Famous Closing Lines
"A light diet," he muttered as he saw the Es-
quimaux chewing the tallow candle.
. .: , ;
' t S'' a e ,K r rr"
1 24 South Ma in
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