fHE MICHIGAN DAILY OFFICIAL NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN Published every morning except Monday dering; the Uniiver- sity year by the Board in Control of Student PublicatUons. MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS ,The Associated Press is exclusiely entitled to the use for .republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in this paper and the local news published Inerein. Entered at the postoffice at Ann Arbor, Michigan, as second cless matter." Subscription by carrier or mail, $3.50. Offices: Ann Arbor Press building, Maynard Street. . Phones: Business, 96o; Editorial, 2414. Communications not to exceed 300 words, if signed, the sig- nature not necessarily to appear in print, but as an evidence of faith, and notices of events will be published in The Daily at tl e discretio~n of the Editor, if '.et at or mailed to Tlhe Daily office. Unsigned communications will receive no consideration. No man- uscript will be returned unless the writer incloses postage. The Daily does not necessarily endorse the sentinments ex- pressed in the communications. "What's Going On" notices will not be received after 8 o'clock on the evening preceding insertion. EDITORIAL STAFF Telephone 2414 MANAGING EDITOR............GEORGE O. bROPHY JR. News Editor...............................Chessdr M. Campbell Night Editors- T. H. Adams H. W. Hitchcock B. P. Campbell J. E. McManis J.I. Dakin T. W. Sargent, Jr. Renaud Sherwood Sunday Editor .........-..-.........-. - .- .,-J. A. Bernstein Editorials............... Lee Woodruff, I,. A. Kern, T. j. Whinery Assistant News..............................E. P. Lovejoy Jr. Sports .......................................-Robert Angell Women's Editor...............................Mary D. Lane Telegraph......................................West Gallogly Telescope........................................ Jack W. Kelly osephine Waldo Paul G. Weber Elizabeth Vickery G. E. Clark George Reindel Dorothy Monfort Harry B. Grundy Frances Oberholtzer Robert E. Adams Byron Darnton Assistants Thomas E. Dewey Wallace P.F.IEliott Leo J. Hershdorfer Hughston McBain Frank HI. MIcPike J. A. Bacon W. W. Ottaway Paul Watzel J. W. H-ume, Jr. H. E. H-owlet M. A. Klaver E. R. Meiss Walter Donnelly Beata fHasley Kathrine Montgomery Gerald P. Overton Edward Lamnbrecht William 1. Riley jr. Sara Waller BUSINESS STAFF Telephone x960 BUSINESS MANAGER ...-.....LEGRAND A. GAINES JR. Advertising .........,...............-..............D. - Joyce 'lassifieds......................................Robt. .HKerr Publication......................-.........-........1. Death Accounts ....................................... r IR. Priehs Circulatin ...........................V. F. illery / Assistants R. W. Lambrecht P. H Hutchinson N. W. Robertson B. G. Gower F. A. Cross R. C. Stearnes Sigmund Kunstadter Robt. L. Davis Thos. L. Rice Lester W. Millard M. M. Moule D. G. Slawsor T . nHml r. D. S. Watterworth R. G. Burchell "never say die" spirit of Michigan teams and Mich- igan men is needed above all else. THE LIT-ENGINEER SMOKER The eternal Lit-Engineer squabble is one of the best among the many standing jokes in which the campus rejoices. "Who works the hardest" is al- most as popular and sure a battle-opener in a Mich igan gathering as "Who won the war" in an Amer- ican Legion meeting. Realizing the great need of getting this subject off the chests of seniors in both schools, and with the laudable aim of bringing about a closer ac- quaintance among all seniors before commence- ment, the two graduating classes have determined on a combined Senior Lit-Engineer smoker for Thursday night, with speeches by President Marion L. Burton and the two deans, and a general glad- handing and opinion exchange by everyone. Get your ticket Monday, and come prepared with ar- gunents. On the success'of this first smoker de- pends its adoption as a yearly custom. TODDLE, YES; SHIMMY, NO! (From The Daily Illini) Enforcement of the League-Union rule against the toddle and the shimmy will never be satisfac- torily enforced here because it is based upon a fal- lacy. That fallacy is just as evident and just as well understood by the majority of the students as the one in a rule which would say, "We place the ban upon the drinking of coca-cola and whisky." There is nothing unseemly about the toddle - it is simply a step which has arisen in response to the short, staccato time which has come into vogue, and lack of floor space which has made impossible the long, gliding steps formerly so popular. The shimmy, on the other hand, is condenined by all who have any taste in dancing whatsoever. Only those who can take delight in the purely sensual and are devoid of all sense of the appropriate the aesthetic, have any defense to offer for the shimmy. The problem, then, is to remove the false analogy betwen the two dances, allowing students to toddle without a sense of guilt for breaking a ruling which demands their support, and dealing much ,more harshly with the few who continue to shimmy un- der the protection of an unenforced, because unfair, rule. The Woman's League and Illinois Union are all- inclusive student organizations, and it is the duty of their officers to enforce the will of the student body as a whole. It is clear that students 4pprove of the toddle and condemn the shimmy, therefore, it is the duty of the dance committees of these two .bod- ies'to revise their ruling in such a way that the toddle be removed from censorship and the shimmy and other forms of indecent dancing be more force- fully dealt with. The present rule is powerless to eradicate the dancing evil. The whole idea of sending warnings to people who dance improperly is weak and child- isb. They should be spoken to by the chaperones or the members of the committee whose duty it is to censor the dancing and sent from the floor in a way definite enough to show others who are not qLite sure what is meant by "indecent dancing" that there really is such a thing in our midst. Weird sounds from the organ of a Raleigh, N. C., church, brought the shocked congregatipn quickly to the loft, where a nine-pound 'possum was found tangled in the works. After harkening unwillingly to the strains from a numbe- of open rooming-house windows, we move that a few 'pos- sum hunts be started in Ann Arbor. "Next year it is planned to build garages for the convenience of students who have cars with them at the university," reads an item about Rice Insti- tute, Texas. Michigan's re'quest to the legislature falls far short-of asking for such an acme of com- pleteness as this. TI he Telescope DETROIT UNITED LINES- In Effect Nov. 2, 1920 Between Detroit, nn Arhor and Jackson (Eastern Standard Time) Lii-aited and Express cars leave for Detroit at 6:05 a. m., 7:05 a. m., 8:10 a. m., and hourly to 9:1.0 p. m. Lirniteds to Jackson at 8:48 a. m. and every two hours to 8:48 p. m. Ex- presses at 9:48 a. m. and e' ery two hours to 9:48 p. w. Loeals to Detroit-5:55a.m., 7:00 a.m. and every two hours to 9:00 p. m., also 11:00 p. m. To Ypsilanti only, 11:40 p.m., 12:25 a.m., and 1:15 a.m. oi.,ails to Jackson-7:M0 a. m., and 12:10 p.m. JANUARY S MT -W T 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 1 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 2S 29 00 31 Meit: Last season's hats turn- ed inside out, refinished and re- blocked with all new trimmings look just like new, wear just as long and saves you five to ten dollars. We do only high class work. Factory Rat Store, 617 Packard St. Phone 1792. 409 Jefferson High Cass Food I Open 6 a.m. Close 11 p.m 'U A COMPLETE LINE OF DIARIES AND DESK CALENDARS -- AT Both Ends of the Diagonal Walk t 4 HEAR F S 1 The January Gennett Records Students lunch Feather Your Nest (Fox Trot) I Love The Land of Old Black Joe (One Step) J. J. -'"414sca j a . Persons wishing to secure information concening news for any issue of The Daily should see the night editor, who has full charge of all news to be printed that night. SUNDAY, JANUARY 9, 1921. Night Editor-RENAUD SHERWOOD. MECHANICAL "WIT" True wit is keen, snappy, and pungent. It is the instantaneous reaction of a brilliant mind to a given situaion. It involves the immediate contrast of two divergent conceptions so placed that one of them appears to be ridiculous. For a proper ap- preciation of a witty quip, one must be thoroughly conversant with the time, the place, the characters, and all of the antecedent details which go to make up the mental complex which has called it forth. Moreover all of this knowledge must have been implanted in the mind for some purpose other than that of springing a joke if the full force of spon- taneous contrast is to be obtained. The editors of "Judge" know this better than we. Nevertheless they are conducting their annual "College Wit" contest with the aim of collecting together in one issue of their magazine, "the best of college wit". Witticisms submitted in this con- test will not in most cases be at all witty. They cannot be, in the very, nature of things. Some of us here at Michigan as at most other universities in the country, will sit down and spend-painful hours at the typewriter trying to produce mechanically, a sparkling, scintillating bit of natural wit. Un- doubtedly some of us will succeed in making others laugh at the butts of our jokes, but the laughter will be as forced as the quips which have caused it. Wit is an inspiration springing from a real sit- uation. It must bear the label "genuine" so plainly that its humor will ring true and appeal to us as human beings. Only the master can achieve it from imagination. When we think of spontaneous wit we remember the stories told of Ambassador Choate; for successfully created wit we go to Mark Twain.?How many Mark Twains have we at Michigan? THE POOL'S FUTURE The swimming pool drive was a failure - there is little need of attempting to dodge the truth - for only a small fraction of the necessary fifty thousand dollars was raised. The bald facts show that only about nine thousand, six hundred dollars was pledged, and of this amount something over three thousand dollars was obtained in Ann Arbor before the drive. Just where to put the blame is a difficult task, Alumni had been solicited often in other drives - some of them were tired of it. Taxes were high and the prevailing money situation tight. Perhaps these appear to be plausible alibis, but there is the fact to face that only about twenty per cent of the seventeen hundred men who signed to work showed much action. Social events perhaps claimed a large share of attention during the holidays. Already new plans are being considered for defi- nite action to raise money, and "we'll finish the pool this year" is the word at the Union. Included in all ideas, however, is the point that all Michigan men, as well as those who signed up to solicit, should feel a moral obligation to continue the work. Not a single opportunity should be lost to raise funds by writing to alumni at home, and spring vacation will furnish a final chance for the campaigners to "come back" in their work. The Deenah Fair One (Fox Tro t) (Fox Trot) Many Others C. V. PHONOGRAPH SHOP 640 HAVEN AVE. Formerly Twelfth St. 9 A Rauz Joke Her (at the Union dance)-Gosh, I fell tonight. I think you'll have to get two weights to keep my feet on the floor. He-I know of something that will do yet. I'll go down to the tap room and get eouple of those Union waffles. Come Tomorrow to Our January Clearance Now's Te Tie Tom Buy Linens* ud Draperies E'RE advising fraternities and so- rorities whose Table Linen or Win- dow Drapery equipments are depleted to replace them now and take advantage of our January Clearance prices. We should be glad to consult with any representative and suggest the best meth- ods and what to buy. The J-Hop is com- ing; get your house in order now. i happy leaden better you a Dear Noah: Recently a friend of mine had the terrible mis- fortune to be blown to bits by 'the accidental dis- charge of some blasting powder, while he was working in a quarry. Can you suggest an appro- priate epitaph? R. L. S. Why not something like the following: "Here rests in piece the body of " First stude-I tell you I'm opposed to dancing. The best girl friend I ever had went crazy from excessive dancing. Second ditto-I see, you mightf even say that dancing made her hopping mad. Brutal Frankness Nelson Larson met with an accident last Friday night, a cant hook striking him in the eye. He is being attended by Dr. W. W. Walker, who says his eye will come out all right. - Peshtigo Times. Famous Closing Lines "A light diet," he muttered as he saw the Es- quimaux chewing the tallow candle. NOAH COUNT. I _: r, -r . .: , ; . < ' t S'' a e ,K r rr" -- a ;' ;: . Pp' 1 24 South Ma in p _ . _ _ ~ *