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April 01, 2008 - Image 2

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Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 2008-04-01

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40

2 -Tuesday, April 1, 2008

MONDAY:
In Other Ivory Towers
Yesterday, my quirky professor
was lecturing on the Comstock Act
of 1873, prompting our class to spi-
ral into a heated debate about what
exactly constitutes. "obscene or
lewd" material.
To direct the discussion, my pro-
fessor cited two guidelines as to
what qualifies a material as obscene:
if community standards are vio-
lated or if it lacks artistic merit. To
clarify, she explained that the other
day she'd worn a shirt that may have
been obscene in another setting, but
in a college community, it'd be con-
sidered somewhat artistic.
The entire lecture hall burst into
laughter and applause as she wrote
what was printed on her shirt in
large letters on the board: "Fuck
Milk, Got Pot?"
ZENAIDA RIVERA
Window watchers
A late Saturday night had some-
how turned into an early Sunday

WEDNESDAY:
The Extremist

THURSDAY: FRIDAY:
Explained Before You Were Here

n off-color prof

morning and it was past 4:30 a.m.
by the time I retreated to my bed-
room. Upon changing into pajamas,
I heard two girls screaming at each
other directly outside my window.
Things were heated, dnd by the time
I had scrounged up an oversized T-
shirt I heard squeals of "If you don't
think I won't call 911, 1 will." I could
not witness this alone.
I went back to my family room and
excitedly informed my housemate
and our friend that a mud fight a la
Celebrity Deathmatch was imminent.
They scurried into my room and the
three of us crowded my window and
relished our front row seats.
My friend was pretty -drunk,
though, and seemed to think it'd be
a good plan to open my window and
intermittently shout interjections
down to the girls. As he tried open-
ing my window wider, the blinds
came crashing down and we were
left gawking in my window, utterly
exposed.
The girls started directing their

anger at us instead, and I awk-
wardly slammed off the lights,
deciding to wait until morning to
fix the blinds.
LISA HAIDOSTIAN
The UGLi zoo
It was late Friday afternoon and
after finishing up an assignment, I
started walking out of a room on the
first floor of the UGLi. On my way
out, I noticed someone in a gorilla
suit sauntering around the book-
shelves. Questioning whether I was
simply delusional from all the study-
ing, I glanced around the room and
noticed that only a few people were
paying attention to the ape. Every-
one else carried on as normal.
Shaking my head as I entered the
library's lobby, I then saw someone
in a Dalmation suit casually check-
ing out Bert's Caf4's display case of
pastries, sandwiches and fruit. It's
been a long winter.
BILLYHEISLER

MAX COLLNS/Daily
Actors Amber Kelly and Kyle Terry perform n an impra
performance called "Sex Signals" at the Michigan Union last
night. The show aims to combine comedy with education on
often-neglected topics relating to sex and relationships.

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The Michigan Daily (ISSN0745-967)is publshed Mondaythrough Friday duringthe fal and winter
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S
0

CRIME NOTES
Police discover
parking lot fraud
WHERE: M-18 carport, 1600
East Medical Center
WHEN: Sunday at about 5:05
WHAT: A University Hospital
visitor used a parking stamp
fraudulently, the Department
of Public Safety reported.
Faculty member
taken to hospital
for hoops injury
WHERE: North Campus Rec-
reation Building
WHEN: Sunday at about 9:50
p.m.
WHAT: A faculty member was
taken by ambulance to the Uni-
versity Hospital after injuring
his arm while playing basket-
ball, DPS reported.

CAMPUS EVENTS & NOTES
Black studies Arts chorale

Student loses
MCard, room
key in cafeteria
WHERE: Bursley Hall
WHEN: Monday at about 2:35
a.m.
WHAT: A student reported his
MCard and room key missing
from the Bursley Hall cafeteria
after he left them on a cafeteria
tray, DPS reported.

discussion
WHAT: A talk with Center
for Afroamerican and African
Studies director Kevin Gaines
on the function of the black
studies discipline
WHO: Institute for the
Humanities
WHEN: Today at noon
WHERE: Thayer Building,
Room 2022

Takon biases
Pocket organizer TorCia
stolen at toward China

concert
WHAT: A free concert of
choral music to celebrate
Arts Chorale's 60th anni-
versary
WHO: The University Arts
Chorale
WHEN: Tonight at 8 p.m.
WHERE: Hill Auditorium
CORRECTIONS
SA headline in yesterday's
edition of the Daily ('Hot
Fuzz' director's new filmfalls
short) incorrectly said "Run,
Fatboy, Run" was directed by
"Hot Fuzz's" director, Edgar
Wright. It was directed by
David Schwimmer.
* An article in the same edi-
tion (Junior tandem teams
upfor key doubles victory)
incorrectly identified Mike
Sroczynski as ajunior. He is a
sophomore.
0 Please report any error
in the Daily to correc-
tions@michigandaily.com.

A Denver area high school
teacher has been charged
with child abuse after
encouraging his class to beat up
another student who showed up
late, The Denver Post reported.
Though the teacher usually
reprimanded tardy students
by making them do push-ups
or sit-ups, he took a student's
suggestion to freely punch the
tardy student.
The film "The Betrayal"
won the Ken Burns Award
for Best of the Festival to
conclude the Ann Arbor Film
Festival on Sunday.
>>FOR MORE, SEE ARTS, PAGE5
At a campaign stop in
Altoona, Penn., presiden-
tial hopeful Barack Obama
bowled a 37-point game, the
Associated Press reported. "My
economic plan is better than
my bowling," Obama told other
bowlers Saturday.

0

hospital
WHERE: Bursley Hall
WHEN: Yesterday at about
12:40 a.m.
WHAT: A Tungsten PDA val-
ued at about $200 was stolen
from the fourth floor of the Uni-
versity Hospital, DPS reported.

WHAT: A lecture by City
University of Hong Kong Prof.
Longxi Zhang about notions
of China in the West, aiming
to dispel common biases and
misconceptions
WHO: Center for Chinese
Studies
WHEN: Today at noon
WHERE: School of Social
Work Building, Room 1636

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YOU CAN'TVMAKE UP
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