40 2 -Tuesday, April 1, 2008 MONDAY: In Other Ivory Towers Yesterday, my quirky professor was lecturing on the Comstock Act of 1873, prompting our class to spi- ral into a heated debate about what exactly constitutes. "obscene or lewd" material. To direct the discussion, my pro- fessor cited two guidelines as to what qualifies a material as obscene: if community standards are vio- lated or if it lacks artistic merit. To clarify, she explained that the other day she'd worn a shirt that may have been obscene in another setting, but in a college community, it'd be con- sidered somewhat artistic. The entire lecture hall burst into laughter and applause as she wrote what was printed on her shirt in large letters on the board: "Fuck Milk, Got Pot?" ZENAIDA RIVERA Window watchers A late Saturday night had some- how turned into an early Sunday WEDNESDAY: The Extremist THURSDAY: FRIDAY: Explained Before You Were Here n off-color prof morning and it was past 4:30 a.m. by the time I retreated to my bed- room. Upon changing into pajamas, I heard two girls screaming at each other directly outside my window. Things were heated, dnd by the time I had scrounged up an oversized T- shirt I heard squeals of "If you don't think I won't call 911, 1 will." I could not witness this alone. I went back to my family room and excitedly informed my housemate and our friend that a mud fight a la Celebrity Deathmatch was imminent. They scurried into my room and the three of us crowded my window and relished our front row seats. My friend was pretty -drunk, though, and seemed to think it'd be a good plan to open my window and intermittently shout interjections down to the girls. As he tried open- ing my window wider, the blinds came crashing down and we were left gawking in my window, utterly exposed. The girls started directing their anger at us instead, and I awk- wardly slammed off the lights, deciding to wait until morning to fix the blinds. LISA HAIDOSTIAN The UGLi zoo It was late Friday afternoon and after finishing up an assignment, I started walking out of a room on the first floor of the UGLi. On my way out, I noticed someone in a gorilla suit sauntering around the book- shelves. Questioning whether I was simply delusional from all the study- ing, I glanced around the room and noticed that only a few people were paying attention to the ape. Every- one else carried on as normal. Shaking my head as I entered the library's lobby, I then saw someone in a Dalmation suit casually check- ing out Bert's Caf4's display case of pastries, sandwiches and fruit. It's been a long winter. BILLYHEISLER MAX COLLNS/Daily Actors Amber Kelly and Kyle Terry perform n an impra performance called "Sex Signals" at the Michigan Union last night. The show aims to combine comedy with education on often-neglected topics relating to sex and relationships. The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com 420 Maynard St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1327 www.michigandaily.com ANDREW GROSSMAN DAVID GOH Editor in Chief Business Manager 734-647-3336 734-764-0558 arossnnan@enichigandaily.com goh@miichigandaily.com CONTACT INFORMATION Newsroom Office hours: Sun.-[hurs. 11a.m. - 2 a.m. 734-763-24s9 News Tips rne-wiiihigandaily.comn Corrections correctionsCp michigandaily.com Letters to thetEditor tothedailymin ichigandaily.com Photography Department pinnacinichignndaip.onI Arts Section artspage@michiganadaily.com 734-763-0379 Editorial Page opinioiciiciiganlayicom Sports Section sports@michiandaily.com 734-764-858s DisplaylSales display@mich iynIaily.com Classified Sales classifid@michigandaily.com S734-764-0557 Online Sales onliieads@michigaiinaily.con 734-615-0135 Finance . jrnance@ nichigandaily.com EDITORIAL STAFF Gabe Nelson Managing Editor nelson @michigandaily.com Chris Herring Managing News Editor herring@michigandaily.com NEWSEDITORS:EmilyBarton,KellyFraser,LisaHaidostian,AndyKroll Gary GraCa Editorial PageEditor graca@michigandaily.coi Nate Sandals ManagingSports-Editor sandals michigandailycom SENIOR SPORTS EDITORS: H. 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One copy is available free of charge to allreaders IddiionnlcopiosmaybepickedupatteDaliynsofficecfor nriptionnorfl r enraringin Septbria .milaron:110.ii nem(nuarytroug pinl)is11,bn arlora n Sepbe through April) is $195, University affiliates are subject to a reduced subscription rate On-campus subscrpions for fliermorea s Subscriptionsmust be prepaid.The MichiganDailyisamember of TheAssociatedPressand TheAssociatedCollegiatePress. S 0 CRIME NOTES Police discover parking lot fraud WHERE: M-18 carport, 1600 East Medical Center WHEN: Sunday at about 5:05 WHAT: A University Hospital visitor used a parking stamp fraudulently, the Department of Public Safety reported. Faculty member taken to hospital for hoops injury WHERE: North Campus Rec- reation Building WHEN: Sunday at about 9:50 p.m. WHAT: A faculty member was taken by ambulance to the Uni- versity Hospital after injuring his arm while playing basket- ball, DPS reported. CAMPUS EVENTS & NOTES Black studies Arts chorale Student loses MCard, room key in cafeteria WHERE: Bursley Hall WHEN: Monday at about 2:35 a.m. WHAT: A student reported his MCard and room key missing from the Bursley Hall cafeteria after he left them on a cafeteria tray, DPS reported. discussion WHAT: A talk with Center for Afroamerican and African Studies director Kevin Gaines on the function of the black studies discipline WHO: Institute for the Humanities WHEN: Today at noon WHERE: Thayer Building, Room 2022 Takon biases Pocket organizer TorCia stolen at toward China concert WHAT: A free concert of choral music to celebrate Arts Chorale's 60th anni- versary WHO: The University Arts Chorale WHEN: Tonight at 8 p.m. WHERE: Hill Auditorium CORRECTIONS SA headline in yesterday's edition of the Daily ('Hot Fuzz' director's new filmfalls short) incorrectly said "Run, Fatboy, Run" was directed by "Hot Fuzz's" director, Edgar Wright. It was directed by David Schwimmer. * An article in the same edi- tion (Junior tandem teams upfor key doubles victory) incorrectly identified Mike Sroczynski as ajunior. He is a sophomore. 0 Please report any error in the Daily to correc- tions@michigandaily.com. A Denver area high school teacher has been charged with child abuse after encouraging his class to beat up another student who showed up late, The Denver Post reported. Though the teacher usually reprimanded tardy students by making them do push-ups or sit-ups, he took a student's suggestion to freely punch the tardy student. The film "The Betrayal" won the Ken Burns Award for Best of the Festival to conclude the Ann Arbor Film Festival on Sunday. >>FOR MORE, SEE ARTS, PAGE5 At a campaign stop in Altoona, Penn., presiden- tial hopeful Barack Obama bowled a 37-point game, the Associated Press reported. "My economic plan is better than my bowling," Obama told other bowlers Saturday. 0 hospital WHERE: Bursley Hall WHEN: Yesterday at about 12:40 a.m. WHAT: A Tungsten PDA val- ued at about $200 was stolen from the fourth floor of the Uni- versity Hospital, DPS reported. WHAT: A lecture by City University of Hong Kong Prof. Longxi Zhang about notions of China in the West, aiming to dispel common biases and misconceptions WHO: Center for Chinese Studies WHEN: Today at noon WHERE: School of Social Work Building, Room 1636 U U Aig Tiffs ISN'-rA 1 t /M5 1N1 &V*r <- Mr. NwX-1 YOU CAN'TVMAKE UP V11lID IHTFRUIFW in Law Get Washington internship experience and Georgetown academic credit this summer. June 2-August 9, 2008 ain experience that can help launch your legal career this summer in Washington., D.C. 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