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SA - Monday, November 19, 2007
HAWK
From page 5A
"Proving Ground" believes it's about
creative freedom without actually giv-
ing gamers any more options than "rock,
paper, scissors" does. The franchise is
now caught in limbo between attempt-
ing to be realistic and trying to retain its
original game play. The result is simply
uninspired and borderline disastrous.
WOOD + NAILS = SKATING GENIUS:
The most bizarre of the career paths is
the "rigger." Being a rigger is supposed-
ly about creativity, setting up items that
help you execute sick tricks. The result
is a kind of in-game level editor, and not
only is it incredibly tedious, but as an
added bonus it's also incredibly lame.
When they throw things like this into
the "Tony Hawk" franchise, you know
they're trying to be different just for the
sake of being different - something that
hasn't worked since Mario strapped a
water gun onto his back.
SK8 OR DIE!!1: Yes, one of the career
options is to be a "hardcore" skater. This
consists of making superhuman leaps
over large concrete abysses and learn-
ing moves with names like "aggro kick,"
which make you go faster and gives you
the ability to body check pedestrians,
because that's what being hardcore is all
about! No cameras, no lights, no glory,
just skating, and I guess fighting. And
stupidity, don't forget stupidity.
MO' MONEY, MO' PROBLEMS: The only
"career path" that anyone will actually
The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com
SOCIETY
From page 5A
baristas: "You've got music video written all
over you."
Outside of pre- and post-game interac-
tions, Thanksgiving started early at Arbor
Vitae loft at State Street and William Street
- with porn. Pornucopia, to be exact.
Reported the Daily's fine arts editorAbi-
gail B. Colodner: "On the stairwell going
up, above Wazoo, there were very nice line
drawings ofpeoplehavingsexwith Thanks-
giving turkeys, or with each other through
turkeys, or masturbating through them."
For those of you who haven't been there
(I haven't - yet), Arbor Vitae is a loft with
high ceilings and rafters, "like a barn,"
Colodner said. People who stay there sleep
in nailed-together wood structures Colod-
ner described as "lofted cubicles."
"When I came in, this undergrad named
Ronen was handmaking whipped cream.
People were standing around and setting
dishes down," she said. "And in the room
next to the kitchen there were people play-
ing (music).
"In the main space there were big tables
for food - and there was a huge projector
screen next to the tables with 1930s silent
porn with like, dance hall-ish music playing
over it."
Porn + Thanksgiving. Brilliant thing to
be thankful for, no? But that's not the best
part.
Finished Colodner: "They had, on the
table, a pornucopia. It was just a cornuco-
pia-shaped thing covered in pornographic
cutouts."
E-mail highsociety@umich.edu.
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But, you know, I just can't connect with my skater-
choose involves getting sponsored and
becoming famous, which has been the
theme of the last four "Tony Hawk"
game:. But unlike previous games with
simple goals like "Get 500,000 points
in two minutes for the gold," now each
competition makes you do a specific
series of events ("double heelflip the
table then 5-0 grind the rail") in order
to impress the judges and get the crowd
"amped." Any freedom or creativity is
completely removed, and you'll wonder
how they screwed up a great series this
much.
MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL: Except for the
fact that Tony Hawk himself looks like
a zombie with a heartbreaking addic-
tion to crystal meth, the rest of the game
- he doesn't crouch!
looks stunning. Although Philly is kind let you roam around the city. The game
of a mundane place to set the game, the includes actual lines of dialogue that
buildings, landscapes and characters say, "Sometimes you just skate to skate,
models are miles above any previous man" yet somehow doesn't feel the need
game in the series. Unfortunately, this to listen to its own rhetoric.
is the only bright spot in a sea of toxic
waste. A NATURAL DISASTER: "Proving
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FREEDOM ISN'T FREE: When you first
boot up the game the following options
appear: Career Mode, 2 Player and "Gui-
tar Hero III" Demo (the best part of
"Proving Ground" by the way). Notice
anything missing? Yeah, it's called
free skate, and it's been in every "Tony
Hawk" game since the beginning of
time. No longer however, as you have to
go through at least 20 minutes of tuto-
rials in career mode before they finally
Ground" is without a doubt the worst
Tony Hawk game ever created. It's only
logical that after three or four good
games, the 73rd in the series would get
a bit stale. Sure, it's bigger, looks better
and hasa "plot," but that doesn't make it
fun. I miss the days of Spiderman grab-
bing the board with his web or grinding
around the rim of a flying saucer. "Tony
Hawk" should leave the realismto games
like "Skate," and keep the ridiculousness
that always made it great.
BRITNEY
From page 5A
board. Spears chants "get naked,
get naked" and "take it off,"
pushing her voice through a few
throaty assertions of her beau-
ty. After three minutes, Danja
drops a few of the digital walls
and makes the mistake of letting
Spears's lead vocals ride over the
top. Here, her voice sounds naked
and thin (which it is), and it's jar-
ring after being lubed up with so
much Autotune pitchcorrector on
earlier tracks like "Piece of Me."
The singer's voice pop out
solo at later points tor4, on
the frothy "Ooh oh # ,'and
while such moments are set 'p in
a way to showcase her question-
able vocal abilities, they come
off as neglect by the producers to
smooth things over.
n the fall of 2004, shortly
after Spears married Feder-
line, The New York Times
published Kelefa Sanneh's trea-
tise on pop prejudice, "The Rap
Against Rockism."
Rockism, the critic explained,
"means idolizing the authentic
old legend (or underground hero)
while mocking the latest pop
star; lionizing punk while barely
tolerating disco; loving the live
show and hating the music video;
extolling the growling performer
while hating the lip-syncher."
And while rock bands record
classics, "pop stars create 'guilty
pleasure' singles."
Although Sanneh does not
refer to Spears at any point in his
defense of pop music (poptimism,
as people call it), she, with In the
Zone and now Blackout, is a per-
fect case for the rockism versus
poptimism debate. Yes, she may
lip-synch, she may spend mil-
lions on music videos and live
shows, and she certainly, has
her problems. (Spears sings at
one point on "Get Naked," "I'm
crazy as a motherfucker," which,
at this point, seems unnecessary
to admit). But for all that drama,
with the right production she can
still turn out a pretty decent pop
album. When she nails that sultry
Debbie Harry purr on "Heaven
On Earth," laundry listing "your
touch / your taste / your breath /
your face / ... / you're fine / you're
heaven on earth" over a dribbly
electronic layer cake of an intro-
duction, it's impossible not to
enjoy it. Blackout isn't a revela-
tion, but its points of pleasure are
guilt-free.
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E-mail grossman@
michigandaily.com.
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