4 SA - Monday, November 19, 2007 HAWK From page 5A "Proving Ground" believes it's about creative freedom without actually giv- ing gamers any more options than "rock, paper, scissors" does. The franchise is now caught in limbo between attempt- ing to be realistic and trying to retain its original game play. The result is simply uninspired and borderline disastrous. WOOD + NAILS = SKATING GENIUS: The most bizarre of the career paths is the "rigger." Being a rigger is supposed- ly about creativity, setting up items that help you execute sick tricks. The result is a kind of in-game level editor, and not only is it incredibly tedious, but as an added bonus it's also incredibly lame. When they throw things like this into the "Tony Hawk" franchise, you know they're trying to be different just for the sake of being different - something that hasn't worked since Mario strapped a water gun onto his back. SK8 OR DIE!!1: Yes, one of the career options is to be a "hardcore" skater. This consists of making superhuman leaps over large concrete abysses and learn- ing moves with names like "aggro kick," which make you go faster and gives you the ability to body check pedestrians, because that's what being hardcore is all about! No cameras, no lights, no glory, just skating, and I guess fighting. And stupidity, don't forget stupidity. MO' MONEY, MO' PROBLEMS: The only "career path" that anyone will actually The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com SOCIETY From page 5A baristas: "You've got music video written all over you." Outside of pre- and post-game interac- tions, Thanksgiving started early at Arbor Vitae loft at State Street and William Street - with porn. Pornucopia, to be exact. Reported the Daily's fine arts editorAbi- gail B. Colodner: "On the stairwell going up, above Wazoo, there were very nice line drawings ofpeoplehavingsexwith Thanks- giving turkeys, or with each other through turkeys, or masturbating through them." For those of you who haven't been there (I haven't - yet), Arbor Vitae is a loft with high ceilings and rafters, "like a barn," Colodner said. People who stay there sleep in nailed-together wood structures Colod- ner described as "lofted cubicles." "When I came in, this undergrad named Ronen was handmaking whipped cream. People were standing around and setting dishes down," she said. "And in the room next to the kitchen there were people play- ing (music). "In the main space there were big tables for food - and there was a huge projector screen next to the tables with 1930s silent porn with like, dance hall-ish music playing over it." Porn + Thanksgiving. Brilliant thing to be thankful for, no? But that's not the best part. Finished Colodner: "They had, on the table, a pornucopia. It was just a cornuco- pia-shaped thing covered in pornographic cutouts." E-mail highsociety@umich.edu. 4 4 But, you know, I just can't connect with my skater- choose involves getting sponsored and becoming famous, which has been the theme of the last four "Tony Hawk" game:. But unlike previous games with simple goals like "Get 500,000 points in two minutes for the gold," now each competition makes you do a specific series of events ("double heelflip the table then 5-0 grind the rail") in order to impress the judges and get the crowd "amped." Any freedom or creativity is completely removed, and you'll wonder how they screwed up a great series this much. MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL: Except for the fact that Tony Hawk himself looks like a zombie with a heartbreaking addic- tion to crystal meth, the rest of the game - he doesn't crouch! looks stunning. Although Philly is kind let you roam around the city. The game of a mundane place to set the game, the includes actual lines of dialogue that buildings, landscapes and characters say, "Sometimes you just skate to skate, models are miles above any previous man" yet somehow doesn't feel the need game in the series. Unfortunately, this to listen to its own rhetoric. is the only bright spot in a sea of toxic waste. A NATURAL DISASTER: "Proving 4 FREEDOM ISN'T FREE: When you first boot up the game the following options appear: Career Mode, 2 Player and "Gui- tar Hero III" Demo (the best part of "Proving Ground" by the way). Notice anything missing? Yeah, it's called free skate, and it's been in every "Tony Hawk" game since the beginning of time. No longer however, as you have to go through at least 20 minutes of tuto- rials in career mode before they finally Ground" is without a doubt the worst Tony Hawk game ever created. It's only logical that after three or four good games, the 73rd in the series would get a bit stale. Sure, it's bigger, looks better and hasa "plot," but that doesn't make it fun. I miss the days of Spiderman grab- bing the board with his web or grinding around the rim of a flying saucer. "Tony Hawk" should leave the realismto games like "Skate," and keep the ridiculousness that always made it great. BRITNEY From page 5A board. Spears chants "get naked, get naked" and "take it off," pushing her voice through a few throaty assertions of her beau- ty. After three minutes, Danja drops a few of the digital walls and makes the mistake of letting Spears's lead vocals ride over the top. Here, her voice sounds naked and thin (which it is), and it's jar- ring after being lubed up with so much Autotune pitchcorrector on earlier tracks like "Piece of Me." The singer's voice pop out solo at later points tor4, on the frothy "Ooh oh # ,'and while such moments are set 'p in a way to showcase her question- able vocal abilities, they come off as neglect by the producers to smooth things over. n the fall of 2004, shortly after Spears married Feder- line, The New York Times published Kelefa Sanneh's trea- tise on pop prejudice, "The Rap Against Rockism." Rockism, the critic explained, "means idolizing the authentic old legend (or underground hero) while mocking the latest pop star; lionizing punk while barely tolerating disco; loving the live show and hating the music video; extolling the growling performer while hating the lip-syncher." And while rock bands record classics, "pop stars create 'guilty pleasure' singles." Although Sanneh does not refer to Spears at any point in his defense of pop music (poptimism, as people call it), she, with In the Zone and now Blackout, is a per- fect case for the rockism versus poptimism debate. Yes, she may lip-synch, she may spend mil- lions on music videos and live shows, and she certainly, has her problems. (Spears sings at one point on "Get Naked," "I'm crazy as a motherfucker," which, at this point, seems unnecessary to admit). But for all that drama, with the right production she can still turn out a pretty decent pop album. When she nails that sultry Debbie Harry purr on "Heaven On Earth," laundry listing "your touch / your taste / your breath / your face / ... / you're fine / you're heaven on earth" over a dribbly electronic layer cake of an intro- duction, it's impossible not to enjoy it. Blackout isn't a revela- tion, but its points of pleasure are guilt-free. 4 4 4 0 I 4 Is your health care plan in transition? Come home to the safety, stability and peace of mind only the Blues can offer. We accept everyone, regardless of medical history. We never drop anyone for health reasons. And we provide more hometown access to doctors and hospitals than any other health care company. We've been here since 1939, and we'll be right here whenever you need us. Come home to coverage you can trust. Come home to the Blues. _ Blue Cross Blue Sheold Blue Care Network '1of Michigan NOnir pe s ai sNdPonotars i m n a iof h os a tdiuSNOW A64004nion HEY DESIGNERS OF WEB! 4 We need you. E-mail grossman@ michigandaily.com. 4