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Wedesdy, . 7,00S - h McignDal
new rules
rule 60: If you're
not a freshman and
there are still high
school activities on
your resume, you
haven't accom-
plished enough.
rule 61: If you're
going to wear your
iPod all through
lecture, you should
probably stay
home. rule 62:
A note to profes-
sors: Midterms are
over. Stop assigning
tests.
- E-mail rule submissions to
TheStatement@umich.edu
THE EDITOR'S NOTEBOOK with GARY GRACA
A look at the big news eventsthis week and how important they really are. Conveniently rated from oneto10.
DISTANCING YOURSELF FROM OPRAH
Lessthan a year after Oprah winfreyopened her Leader-
ship Academy for Girls in South Africa, an employee of
the school has been charged with assaulting and sexu-
ally abusing students. Always on the campaign defense,
2 the public-relationsteam for BarackObama, who was
also endorsed by Oprah earlier this year, is expected to
announce that Obama's humanitarian approach to Iran
won't turn it intoa bordello of sexual abuse.
HATE SPEECH SETBACK
Rev. Fred Phelps, best known for his hate-mongering
"God hates fags" campaign, lost an $11 million lawsuit
last week, charging him with disrupting the funeral of an
5 American Marine. while the specific question of wheth-
er "God hates fags" was not addressed, thejury's con-
sensus was that God probably hates people who claim
that "God hates fags" more. The question of whether
same-sex hate breeds more hate was also left open.
BIG TEN, BIG BUSINESS
Accordingto a recent study, $177 million will be generated
this year by the University of Michigan and Michigan State
University's football games, which trumps the $56 million
6 brought in by the Super Bowl. The report
didn't specify how much of that $177
million will go toward-improving the
convenience of rich alumni and how
much will go to discriminating against
the disabled.
4
WRITTEN OUT OF THE SCRIPT
Hollywood writers from the Writer Guild of America
began a strike Monday after more than three months of
negotiations failed. In response to the strike, TV execu-
tives assuredviewers that there is nothingto fear: Prime-
time dramas about hot doctors who have complex love
octagons practically write themselves. If that doesn't
work, there are always more "Law & Order" reruns.
MUSHARRAF MANIA
Declaring a state of emergency, Pakistani President
Pervez Musharraf held onto his power with an iron fist
this weekend, suspendingthe constitution, firingthe
chief justice and imprisoning more than 500 protesters.
Despite all the change, one thing continued: aid from the
Bush administration. Obviously, this oppressive, military
dictatorship was one of the good ones.
STEP INTO THE TWILIGHT ZONE
Adding to his status as the butt of mostjokes, in
response to a specific question about UFOs in last
Tuesday's debate, Dennis Kucinich admitted to a UFO
sighting onto his already unwavering support of any
that has the word "alien" in it. At this point, Kucinich's
Twilight Zone couldn't be much worse than believing
that Darwin was a liar, global warming is a myth and the
same day, Sept.11, 2001, is going to repeat itself over
and over again.
stre ss mnagemnt
Ilona Phillips, a counselor at Counseling and Psychological Services, on
what you can do to avoid freak-outs, breakdowns and day-to-day strain
- AstoldetoJ lessica Vosaerrhian
4
PERSON OF THE WEEK
STEPH EN With more than 1.3 million
facebook supporters, Stephen
COLBERT Colbert's candidacy for presi-
dent might not have been such
a funny joke after all. At least if
you're Barack Obama, whose
"One Million Strong" facebook
group still clocks in just shy
of 400k members. Facebook
envy? We're not sure, but the
2008 candidates must have
been at least a little relieved
when the South Carolina
Democratic Executive Coun-
cil decided to deny Colbert's
application to be on the ballot
for the Presidential Primary. In
the wake of the 13-3 vote that
banned his name from appear-
ing in the Democratic primary,
Colbert, the host of Comedy
Central's "The Colbert Report,"
announced Monday that
e his gag campaign was over.
Although a disappointment to
his fans and political report-
ers everywhere, Colbert's
candidacy, which polled fifth
aeting in South Carolina, ahead of
lovember 8 purportedly serious candidates
like Bill Richardson and Dennis
enter, Room 9 Kucinich, likely came to an end
at a convenient time. After all,
as of Monday, the show's writ-
ecorps.gov ers went on strike.
If you're a perfectionist, ask yourself why. You might be too concerned with achieving expectations
you perceive family or society have for you. If your mood or anxiety levels fluctuate drastically after
one disappointment, you're relying too much on external elements to reinforce your self-esteem.
Lloyd is also one of two halls
where vanilla ice cream is pre-
ferred. A strong, possibly violent
allegiance to chocolate ice cream
is demonstrated at every other
residence hall but Bursley. It seems
Alice Lloyd Greeks and North Cam-
pus engineers can have at least one
thing in common.
To make up for all that ice cream,
Lloydhas thehighest consumptionof
salad at .83 servings per diner. Lloyd
also has the best ratio of Romaine to
head lettuce, at five to two.
Cereal-wise, Lloyd keeps to the
oats and Special K, with Lucky
Charms squeezing in before Grape-
Nuts at fifth place. Lloyd diners eat
the most granola per capita of all
dining halls that serve it.
SOUTH QUAD AND BURSLEY
The South Quad and Bursley
dining halls are the two biggest
on campus, servings respectively
14,581 diners and 14,107 diners
in a week. You might expect din-
ing halls servings a large mass of
people to adhere to typical eating
practices, but these dining epicen-
ters have some idiosyncrasies of
their own.
When South Quad's Honors stu-
dents are refueling, what do they
reach for? Sugar in the form of corn
puffs. While Cracklin' Oat Bran
still has a steady grip at number
Betsy Barbour
eats the most ice
cream. What does
it mean?
one, South Quad is the only dining
hall where sugary cereals - Cinna-
mon Toast Crunch, Cap'n Crunch
and Honey Nut Cheerios - rank
second, third and forth.
Alove ofsugardoesn'textendtoice
cream, though. South Quad has the
second-lowest rate of ice cream con-
sumption at.2 servings per diner.
South-Quaders don't enjoy the
best Romaine to head lettuce ratio,
at a disappointing five to three
- and they consume just:45 salads
per diner.
South Quad is onboard with
Pepsi and Diet Pepsi but has a pref-
erence for lemonade before all else.
Servings the second most people
after South Quad, the Bursley din-
ing hall on North Campus presents
some offbeat eating habits.
While Pepsi holds on to the num-
ber one spot at Bursley, Diet Pepsi
only comes in fifth.
Bursley, along with Alice Lloyd,
serves diners who prefer vanilla ice
cream is to chocolate, but Bursley
diners don't have Lloyd's affinity
for ice cream. They have the third-
lowest consumption of ice cream at
.2 servings per diner.
Bursley is one of four dining
halls where sugary cereals break
into the top three preferred. In this
case, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and
Lucky Charms are the second-most
consumed.
Bursley consumes the second-
most salad at.73 servings per diner,
despite having a mediocre ratio of
one to one, Romaine to head let-
tuce.
I °* StudentUniverse.com I
Sociological insight can be gained from how a cafeteria's diners select side dishes