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November 07, 2007 - Image 11

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The Michigan Daily, 2007-11-07

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The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, November 7, 2007







The Church of the SubGenius: A post-modern religion that originated in Dallas, Texas in 1953 and gained popularity over
the Internet in the 1980s and 1990s. The central belief in the Church is the pursuit of Slack, described as the sense of free-
dom, independence, and free-thinking achieved by the realization of personal aims. The Church asserts people are born with
Original Slack, but lose it to a worldwide conspiracy of average people, or Earth Pinks. The central symbol is a clipart render-
ing of the smiling, pipe-smoking face of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, who the Church claims was the best salesman the drill bit indus-
try has ever seen. The Church also claims that "A True SubGenius, however, understands EVERYTHING, INSTANTLY upon
exposure to the Word or even just the Face of Dobbs." Anyone can become a SubGenius minister for a $30 ordainment fee,
a position that comes with the guarantee: "Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE Your Money Back!"

So. You want
one good reason
to earn a pharmacy
degree from the
University of
Michigan ?

Here are 12 good reasons, for starters:
1. Respect: 50 percent of the students admitted to
our professional degree (PharmD) program are
cross-campus transfers - many from LSA
2. Unparalleled career choices
3. Financial support unequalled by any other U.S.
pharmacy school
4. Continuous growth potential
5. Outstanding pay
6. Job security in economically uncertain times
7. The power to apply medical knowledge at
the forefront of technological innovation
8. Life and career mobility
9. Membership in an influential alumni
network spanning the globe
10. The prestige of owning a degree from one
of US News & World Report's top-ranked
pharmacy schools
11. Unlimited opportunities to improve people's
12. One-to-one learning with world-renowned
If you've had health-care patient experience, and
if you've taken Chemistry 130, 210, 215, or 260;
Biology 171, 172, 173, or 305; Physics 125, 126,
140, or 240; or Calculus 115 or 116, you're already
on your way to a pharmacy degree at U-M.
To learn more about the PharmD program at the
University of Michigan, visit the University of
Michigan College of Pharmacy Web site at
www.umich.edu/-pharmacy. Or contact Assistant
Dean Valener Perry at 734-764-5550 or by e-mail
at vlperry@umich.edu.
Your future never looked brighter.

From page 5B
breakfast food's rainbow, childish
counterparts. Like in most dining
halls, Cracklin' Oat Bran reigns
supreme, while Lucky Charms, a
favorite sugary cereals in other
cafes, falls to 12th place.
Granola consumption: average.
For reason beyond this article's
scope of reasoning, West Quad eat-
ers are the secret freaks of the din-
ing services system.
Pepsi, a classic cola heralded by
commercials as the drink of agener-
ation, never falls below third place
for most consumed soda in a din-
ing hall except at West Quad, where
it's ranked sixth. The soda's almost
equally adored kin, Diet Pepsi, is
ranked seventh, In the duo's plac-
es are pink lemonade at first and
Mountain Dew at second - two
underlings that receive moderate
attention in other dininghalls.
West Quaders are also eccentrics
in terms of ice cream consumption.
While the average residence hll
diner eats .5 servings of ice cream
per meal, diners in West Quad only
manage .01 servings. That trans-
lates to 1,715 fewer cones than the
campus average of 2,390 cones
served that week
West Quaders eat an average
amount of salad, about .6 servings
per diner, but they don't enjoy the
same quality lettuce. West Quad is
one of two dining halls with salad
bars that blend more nutritious
Romaine lettuce with empty-calo-
rie head lettuce at a one to one ratio:
most dining halls mix in twice as
much Romaine as Iceberg.
West Quaders keep it mostly
mature with their cereal selec-
tions, choosing Special K Red
Berries, Cracklin' Oat Bran and
Honey Bunches of oats most often.
But Cinnamon Toast Crunch and
Honey Nut Cheerios slip in as the
fourth most eaten cereals.
As in the cases of ice cream and
Pepsi, West Quad also has the low-
est consumption of granola.
Alice Lloyd, though a smaller
dorm, houses two learning com-
munities and a slew of archetypical
Hill-area freshmen --hungry fresh-
men, as it turns out. With higher
rates of salad, ice cream and gra-
nola consumption thanmost other
halls, it would seem Lloyd diners
might be trying to eat through the
stress of their first years in college.
Ice cream consumption in Lloyd,
at .92 servings per person, is almost
double the campus-wide average of
.5 servings. Only Betsy Barbour girls
eat more, at 1.2 servings per diner.

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Wednesday November 7,2007 - The Michigan DailyT3B

Three things you can talk about this week:
1. King Tut's face
2. Musharraf's martial law
3. An exploding comet visible to the naked eye
And three things you can't:
1. Late-night show re-runs
2. Ugg boots
3. Pregnant pop stars

"CHe wants to demolish things like
the Department of Education, but
we can do that very peacefully, in
a constructive manner."
- JESSE BENTON, campaign spokesman for Ron Paul, on how
Paul doesn't advocate blowing uobuildings even though he raised
millions of dollars on Guy Fawkes day, a holiday commemorating a
thwarted bombing attempt on the Houses of Parliament in 1605
"We'd much rather work than
stand in the cold. Writers are
people who fear the sunlight."
- JOHN OLIVER, "The Daily Show" writer, on the Writers
Guild of America strike

I would at this
time venture to
read out an excerpt
of President Abra-
ham Lincoln,
especially to all
my listeners in the
United States."
statement about his decision to
suspend Pakistan's constitution

Rachael Ray
doesn't have
anything on him
Who says the British don't know
how to cook?
UK beatboxing champion Dar-
ren "Beardyman" Foreman man-
ages to serve up ingredients you'll
want to savor in a three-minute
"cooking show."
The bowls on his baker's table
contain not spices or flour but the
essential components of an "eclec-
tro-funk daddy superstar break."
Deadpan in his blond wig and
apron, Beardyman is more funny
than instructional - but then,
his series of kickdrum, snare and
"white noise" imitations isn't for
armchair beatboxers. When he
adds each component into his
mixingabowl hemakes a sound
or what he calls an "effective
Like a true professional, he has
an already-made break at the ready,
as Julia Childs could have the per-
fect souffl materialize on com-
mand. Beardyman's recipe may be
hard to follow, but his tough-love
instruction is golden.
See this and other
YouTube videos of the week at


October's death toll of U.S. service members killed in Iraq
May's death toll of U.S. service members killed in Iraq
U.S. service members currently employed in Iraq

Get wrecked for the Edmund Fitzgerald - Toast
in remembrance of the Edmund Fitzgerald, the ship
that sank in Lake Superior on Nov. 10, 1975 and
thereafter shaped the November curriculums of
elementary school music classes statewide. As for
out-of-state friends unfamiliar with the history, edu-
cate them: "The legend lives on from the Chippewa
on down / Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee..."
Throwing this party? Let us know. TheStatement@umich.edu
Wikipedia is a multilingual, web-based, encyclopedia project oper-
ated by the not-for-profit Wikimedia Foundation. Many language ver-
sions of Wikipedia are free content, while others, such as the English
version, include non-free material.
As of September 2007, Wikipedia had approximately 8.29 million
articles in 253 languages, comprising a combined total of over 1.41 bil-
lion words for all Wikipedias. The English Wikipedia edition passed
the 2,000,000 article mark on September 9, 2007, and as of November
3, 2007 it had over 2,075,000 articles consisting of over 902,000,000
words. Wikipedia's articles have been written collaboratively by vol-
unteers around the world and the vast majority of them can be edited
by anyone with access to the Internet. Steadily rising in popularity
since its inceptionit currently ranks among the top ten most-visited
websites worldwide.

source: i ne ivew Tom i imes

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