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10B -The Michigan Daily - eken4 Igazine - Thursday, April 1, 2004
The Michigan Daily - Weekend N
Courtesy of Full Service/J Records
Secrets ... I love John Tesh.
1. Confessions, Usher -
Yeah! Yeah! What?!? Thanks Lil'
2. Now That's What I Call
Music! 15, Various - Music
for 14 year-olds who don't know
how to burn a CD
3. Greatest Hits, Guns n'
Roses - AxI Rose is an ana-
gram for oral sex. When is The
Chinese Democracy going to.
come out? c on o
4. Let's Talk About It,
Carl Thomas - Bad Boy
releases another album.
Unfortunately it's not by Da
S. Feels Like Home,
Norah Jones - Soccer moms
need music too. Everyone else,
feel free to fall asleep.
6. Fly or Die, N.E.R.D. -
Pharrel and the Neptunes try
their hand at making their own
record. Weekend's advice: Stick
7. Fallen, Evanescence -
Bad Christian rock. 'Nuff said.
8. Collge Dropout Kanye
West - Maybe I should drop out
of college too. If only I could make
mediocre rhymes ...
9. In This Skin, Jessica
Simpson - Since when did
reality TV starsnget toerelease
albums? What? She started by
10. When the Sun Goes
Down, Kenny Chesney -
The perfect CD for the trailer
park set. Comes complete with
half-naked people yelling at
I used to be a movie star.
Gross in millions of dollars
1. Scooby Doo 2: Monsters
Unleashed (29A) - Ruh Row.
Some idiot decided Freddie Prinze
Jr. should star in another movie.
2. The Ladykillers (12.6) -
Tom Hanks does his best Col.
Sanders impression. Where's the
bucket of extra cnspy?
3. The Passion of the Christ
(12.6) - Next up from Mel
Gibson ... "The Passion of
4. Dawn of the Dead (10.7)
- People rise from the grave. Is this
the sequel to "The Passion?"
S. Jersey Girl (8.3) - Dear
Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck kills every-
thing decent in his path. Avoid him
like the plague.
6 Taking Lives (6.6) -
Remember when Angelina Jolie
won an Oscar? It's hard to when
she stars in films like this.
X Starsky and H~utch (6.2) -
If 70s remakes are in, I'm waiting
for "CHiPs" with George Lopez.
8. Hidalgo (5.3) - Great way
to use the "Retum of the King"
9. Secret Window (5.3) -
Johnny Depp's first good role since
Nick of Time or maybe that's lust
10. Eternal Sunshine of the
Spotless Mind (5.2) - Contrary
to what some people may say:
There is more to Jim Carrey's char-
acter than simply "indie rock hair.
By Nicole Frehsee
Daily Arts Writer
So you think you're a good paral-
lel parker? Then you're dared to
take the Mr. Greek's Parking Chal-
lenge, a test so brutal that it reduces
seasoned parkers to tears. Ever tried
to squeeze into a street-side space
on a weekday afternoon, while
scores of french fry-eating patrons
witness your every move? The
world stops as you shift from drive
to reverse in attempt to complete a
flawless arc. Suddenly, approaching
glory crumbles as you bang into the
Honda behind you. Flustered, you
pull forward only to crash into
someone's Beemer. Smashing fend-
ers with wild abandon and sweating
profusely, you finally manage to
wedge in. Defeated, you walk into
the restaurant, only to hear some
jerk yell, "Hey, Austin Powers!"
across the room.
While this scenario never hap-
pened (I swear), scenes of its type
take place everyday in Ann Arbor,
where parallel parking is unavoid-
able. With 1,537 metered spaces in
the campus/downtown area and at
80 cents an hour, all this activity
requires is a car, a destination and a
pocketful of petty cash. It's not as
simple as it sounds, though. Before
you offer to drive your friends
around Ann Arbor, swinging into
empty spots to redeem yourself
from the Greek's incident, read on
for tips that will make your parking
The scouting process is essential,
as finding a good spot is key. If the
car-to-destination walk exceeds five
minutes (10 minutes if it's warm
out), it's not a good spot. One can
employ various reconnaissance
methods. The driver-look-left-pas-
senger-look-right method is effec-
tive because it covers both sides of
the street, but it's dangerous. The
phone-a-friend, calling someone
who is on-location to inform you of
curb vacancies, works in theory but
Writers: Emily Alschbach, Lindsey
Bieber, Victoria Edwards, Nicole
Frehsee, Hayley Gollub, Andrew
Horowitz, Hussain Rahim, Chastity
Rolling, Anthea Stolz
Photo Editors: Elise Bergman,
Tony Ding, Ryan Weiner
Photographers: Trevor Campbell,
Mike Hulsebus, Shubra Ohri,
Eugene Robertson, Christine
Cover Illustration: Jeff Lehnert
Arts Editors: Jason Roberts,
Adam Rottenberg, Alex Wolsky,
Ed it. i 'hiief4erdan Slraier
Parallel parking In Ann Arbor requires patience, skill and cunning from drivers brave enough to attempt it.
not in practice - by the time you
arrive, the open spot your friend
saw seconds ago is taken. Parking
virtuoso (and Seinfeld character)
George Costanza's system is a win-
ner - looking for the "dream spot"
and then slowly expanding out in
"concentric circles" is an all-
encompassing method. The dream
spot, the Holy Grail of parking
spaces, exists in front of your desti-
nation's door. If no more than 30
seconds pass between exiting the
car and reaching the entrance, con-
gratulations -you have secured the
elusive dream spot. If no dream spot
is visible, commence concentric cir-
cles, which are simply loops rip-
pling outward from the dream spot's
A word about circles - driving
in them causes frustration. Thank-
fully, Ann Arbor has become hip to
the notion of two-way traffic, now
allowing it on difficult streets such
as East Liberty Street and North
University Avenue. This cuts driving
time, but if you're on your fourth
lap around the block (or out of an
acceptable walking radius), give up
and park in a structure. Ranging
from a 95 cent to $1.25 an hour,
they're not as cheap as a meter, but
the extra cash is worth it to spare
the road rage. There are 254
metered spots in lots and structures
across the city, but the chances of
finding one vacant are slim. After 6
p.m. or on Sundays, parking is free
in most University staff lots. If you
scoff at structures, you'll get lucky
eventually; you'll just have to be
If, by divine intervention, a cai
pulls out of the spot you've beer
coveting, put the blinker on immedi-
ately to safeguard against lurkers -
those who are waiting for the same
spot as you, but lose the blinker
face-off and then unlawfully steal
the spot. Make sure the spot is big
enough for your car, because there's
nothing worse than Austin Powers'
syndrome. If the space is sufficient,
eliminate all distractions - get off
the phone, tell your friends in the
backseat to shut up, turn off the
radio - and commence parking.
This is the heart of the operation,
the act that can leave you feeling
like a titan or a turkey, and it must
be meticulously executed. If you're
See PARKING, Page 12E
NEWS IN ENTERTAINMENT
NBC IS SAVING 'GRACE'
Hit TV series "Will & Grace" will
.4emporarily lose the style and charm of
its title character, Grace. According to E!
online, Debra Messing's obstetrician has
prescribed bedrest for the remainder of
her pregnancy, which will force the
young starlet to miss the last three
episodes of the season. NBC has already
written Messing out of the show until
further notice, explaining her mysterious
absence away with an equally unfore-
Oddly, the show has not yet addressed
Messing's suspicious weight gain or
!bulging uterine area: Instead, Messing's
character, Grace, either dons ultra-baggy
clothing or remains seated to hide her
NBC hopes to comfort Messing fans
with a special guest appearance from the
Neither P.Diddy nor Bennifer's other
half could be reached for cheap shot
I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I
Paul Reubens, the famed actor and
entertainer better known as Pee-Wee
Herman, recently pleaded guilty to a Los
Angeles misdemeanor: possesion of
obscene material. Reuters reports the
prosecutor initially investigated Reubens
for possession of child pornography, but
the actor refutes these claims.
Reubens agreed to an interview with
Entertainment Weekly, his first since
the case opened. Hoping to clear his
name, he said, "You can say that I'm
different, that I'm freaky, that I'm
weird. You can say lots of stuff about
me. But you can't say I'm a pedophile.
That's just not part of who I am. I am
not a child pornographer."
R IC K
It's 3 a.m., and the party just ended.
You've been on the street corner for half
an hour waiting for your cab. Sound
familiar? It probably does because cab
companies around Ann Arbor can take
longer than the projected five to 25 min-
utes. However, one cab driver has made
a name for himself around campus for
his reliable service and entertaining
rides. This Yellow Cab Company driver
goes by the name Uncle Rick.
Not only does he let you know exact-
ly how long it will take him to pick you
up, if asked, Uncle Rick will even call
your cell phone when he has gotten to
where you're waiting so you do not have
to wait outside in the cold. Staying true
to his clients, he makes sure to pick up
only the people who called him.
Many cab drivers around Ann Arbor
are known to tell a good joke or two, but
Uncle Rick is sure to please any rider
with his original comedy, keeping the
ride entertaining. He encourages riders
to request a story while in the cab, and he
promises to deliver with a tale that's sure
to make you laugh.
Perhaps the reason that everyone loves
getting rides from Uncle Rick is because
he enjoys what he does. Working as a
cab driver for 15 years, Uncle Rick does
not consider driving a cab a job. "You
called it a job (but) driving a cabis not a
job, it's not a career and it's not an occu-
pation," he said. "It's a lifestyle, and I
like the lifestyle."
-Amanda R. Shapin
IL , / MADSTONE 1:00, 3:00,
ANN ARBOR (73A) 994 1000 ,,:0
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