" +.r ar s V V V U7 AV 10B -The Michigan Daily - eken4 Igazine - Thursday, April 1, 2004 The Michigan Daily - Weekend N ME WEEKEND ENTERTAINMENT 11 E Unparalleled challenge Courtesy of Full Service/J Records Secrets ... I love John Tesh. Bi BOARD MP 10 1. Confessions, Usher - Yeah! Yeah! What?!? Thanks Lil' Jon. 2. Now That's What I Call Music! 15, Various - Music for 14 year-olds who don't know how to burn a CD 3. Greatest Hits, Guns n' Roses - AxI Rose is an ana- gram for oral sex. When is The Chinese Democracy going to. come out? c on o 4. Let's Talk About It, Carl Thomas - Bad Boy releases another album. Unfortunately it's not by Da Band. S. Feels Like Home, Norah Jones - Soccer moms need music too. Everyone else, feel free to fall asleep. 6. Fly or Die, N.E.R.D. - Pharrel and the Neptunes try their hand at making their own record. Weekend's advice: Stick to producing. 7. Fallen, Evanescence - Bad Christian rock. 'Nuff said. 8. Collge Dropout Kanye West - Maybe I should drop out of college too. If only I could make mediocre rhymes ... 9. In This Skin, Jessica Simpson - Since when did reality TV starsnget toerelease albums? What? She started by singing? 10. When the Sun Goes Down, Kenny Chesney - The perfect CD for the trailer park set. Comes complete with half-naked people yelling at each other. I used to be a movie star. WEEKEND BOX OFFICE Gross in millions of dollars 1. Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (29A) - Ruh Row. Some idiot decided Freddie Prinze Jr. should star in another movie. 2. The Ladykillers (12.6) - Tom Hanks does his best Col. Sanders impression. Where's the bucket of extra cnspy? 3. The Passion of the Christ (12.6) - Next up from Mel Gibson ... "The Passion of Mohammed." 4. Dawn of the Dead (10.7) - People rise from the grave. Is this the sequel to "The Passion?" S. Jersey Girl (8.3) - Dear Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck kills every- thing decent in his path. Avoid him like the plague. Love, Weekend 6 Taking Lives (6.6) - Remember when Angelina Jolie won an Oscar? It's hard to when she stars in films like this. X Starsky and H~utch (6.2) - If 70s remakes are in, I'm waiting for "CHiPs" with George Lopez. 8. Hidalgo (5.3) - Great way to use the "Retum of the King" hype, \Viggo. 9. Secret Window (5.3) - Johnny Depp's first good role since Nick of Time or maybe that's lust one opinion. 10. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (5.2) - Contrary to what some people may say: There is more to Jim Carrey's char- acter than simply "indie rock hair. By Nicole Frehsee Daily Arts Writer So you think you're a good paral- lel parker? Then you're dared to take the Mr. Greek's Parking Chal- lenge, a test so brutal that it reduces seasoned parkers to tears. Ever tried to squeeze into a street-side space on a weekday afternoon, while scores of french fry-eating patrons witness your every move? The world stops as you shift from drive to reverse in attempt to complete a flawless arc. Suddenly, approaching glory crumbles as you bang into the Honda behind you. Flustered, you pull forward only to crash into someone's Beemer. Smashing fend- ers with wild abandon and sweating profusely, you finally manage to wedge in. Defeated, you walk into the restaurant, only to hear some jerk yell, "Hey, Austin Powers!" across the room. While this scenario never hap- pened (I swear), scenes of its type take place everyday in Ann Arbor, where parallel parking is unavoid- able. With 1,537 metered spaces in the campus/downtown area and at 80 cents an hour, all this activity requires is a car, a destination and a pocketful of petty cash. It's not as simple as it sounds, though. Before you offer to drive your friends around Ann Arbor, swinging into empty spots to redeem yourself from the Greek's incident, read on for tips that will make your parking skills unparalleled. The scouting process is essential, as finding a good spot is key. If the car-to-destination walk exceeds five minutes (10 minutes if it's warm out), it's not a good spot. One can employ various reconnaissance methods. The driver-look-left-pas- senger-look-right method is effec- tive because it covers both sides of the street, but it's dangerous. The phone-a-friend, calling someone who is on-location to inform you of curb vacancies, works in theory but Weekend Editor: Writers: Emily Alschbach, Lindsey Bieber, Victoria Edwards, Nicole Frehsee, Hayley Gollub, Andrew Horowitz, Hussain Rahim, Chastity Rolling, Anthea Stolz Photo Editors: Elise Bergman, Tony Ding, Ryan Weiner Photographers: Trevor Campbell, Mike Hulsebus, Shubra Ohri, Eugene Robertson, Christine Stafford Cover Illustration: Jeff Lehnert Arts Editors: Jason Roberts, Managing Editor Adam Rottenberg, Alex Wolsky, Associate Editors Ed it. i 'hiief4erdan Slraier sr: SHUBRA OHRI/Daily Parallel parking In Ann Arbor requires patience, skill and cunning from drivers brave enough to attempt it. not in practice - by the time you arrive, the open spot your friend saw seconds ago is taken. Parking virtuoso (and Seinfeld character) George Costanza's system is a win- ner - looking for the "dream spot" and then slowly expanding out in "concentric circles" is an all- encompassing method. The dream spot, the Holy Grail of parking spaces, exists in front of your desti- nation's door. If no more than 30 seconds pass between exiting the car and reaching the entrance, con- gratulations -you have secured the elusive dream spot. If no dream spot is visible, commence concentric cir- cles, which are simply loops rip- pling outward from the dream spot's coordinates. A word about circles - driving in them causes frustration. Thank- fully, Ann Arbor has become hip to the notion of two-way traffic, now allowing it on difficult streets such as East Liberty Street and North University Avenue. This cuts driving time, but if you're on your fourth lap around the block (or out of an acceptable walking radius), give up and park in a structure. Ranging from a 95 cent to $1.25 an hour, they're not as cheap as a meter, but the extra cash is worth it to spare the road rage. There are 254 metered spots in lots and structures across the city, but the chances of finding one vacant are slim. After 6 p.m. or on Sundays, parking is free in most University staff lots. If you scoff at structures, you'll get lucky eventually; you'll just have to be patient. If, by divine intervention, a cai pulls out of the spot you've beer coveting, put the blinker on immedi- ately to safeguard against lurkers - those who are waiting for the same spot as you, but lose the blinker face-off and then unlawfully steal the spot. Make sure the spot is big enough for your car, because there's nothing worse than Austin Powers' syndrome. If the space is sufficient, eliminate all distractions - get off the phone, tell your friends in the backseat to shut up, turn off the radio - and commence parking. This is the heart of the operation, the act that can leave you feeling like a titan or a turkey, and it must be meticulously executed. If you're See PARKING, Page 12E NEWS IN ENTERTAINMENT NBC IS SAVING 'GRACE' Hit TV series "Will & Grace" will .4emporarily lose the style and charm of its title character, Grace. According to E! online, Debra Messing's obstetrician has prescribed bedrest for the remainder of her pregnancy, which will force the young starlet to miss the last three episodes of the season. NBC has already written Messing out of the show until further notice, explaining her mysterious absence away with an equally unfore- seen illness. Oddly, the show has not yet addressed Messing's suspicious weight gain or !bulging uterine area: Instead, Messing's character, Grace, either dons ultra-baggy clothing or remains seated to hide her lower half. NBC hopes to comfort Messing fans with a special guest appearance from the infamous J.Lo. Neither P.Diddy nor Bennifer's other half could be reached for cheap shot comments. I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I Paul Reubens, the famed actor and entertainer better known as Pee-Wee Herman, recently pleaded guilty to a Los Angeles misdemeanor: possesion of obscene material. Reuters reports the prosecutor initially investigated Reubens for possession of child pornography, but the actor refutes these claims. Reubens agreed to an interview with Entertainment Weekly, his first since the case opened. Hoping to clear his name, he said, "You can say that I'm different, that I'm freaky, that I'm weird. You can say lots of stuff about me. But you can't say I'm a pedophile. That's just not part of who I am. I am not a child pornographer." ANN ARBOR ALL-STARS I R IC K CAB It's 3 a.m., and the party just ended. You've been on the street corner for half an hour waiting for your cab. Sound familiar? It probably does because cab companies around Ann Arbor can take longer than the projected five to 25 min- utes. However, one cab driver has made a name for himself around campus for his reliable service and entertaining rides. This Yellow Cab Company driver goes by the name Uncle Rick. Not only does he let you know exact- ly how long it will take him to pick you up, if asked, Uncle Rick will even call your cell phone when he has gotten to DRIVER UNCLE SHUBRA OHRI/Daily where you're waiting so you do not have to wait outside in the cold. Staying true to his clients, he makes sure to pick up only the people who called him. Many cab drivers around Ann Arbor are known to tell a good joke or two, but Uncle Rick is sure to please any rider with his original comedy, keeping the ride entertaining. He encourages riders to request a story while in the cab, and he promises to deliver with a tale that's sure to make you laugh. Perhaps the reason that everyone loves getting rides from Uncle Rick is because he enjoys what he does. Working as a cab driver for 15 years, Uncle Rick does not consider driving a cab a job. "You called it a job (but) driving a cabis not a job, it's not a career and it's not an occu- pation," he said. "It's a lifestyle, and I like the lifestyle." -Amanda R. Shapin i IL , / MADSTONE 1:00, 3:00, THEA5 00,: ANN ARBOR (73A) 994 1000 ,,:0 *www mc fnthcescmr~ei~i