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10B -The Michigan Daily - WeekendMagazine - Thursday, February 12, 2004
The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine
SCOTT SERILLA - WHATEVER IT IS, M AGAINST IT
BE MINE, U OF M
Cour tsy fB
What's the deal with Ovaltine?
1. When the Sun Goes
Down Kenny Chesney -
Here's to hoping that the sun
goes down on Kenny Chesney
2. A Crow Left of the
Murder, Incubus - Want to join
my cam aign SIWBC LI?
"Stopping idiotswho buy crap
3. Kamikaze, Twista - It
took him five years to make ... if
he only wouldv ye kept it a secret.
4. GCser, Josh Groban -
Why does this guy always look so
stoic? Oh, that's nght, it's cuz he
S. Only You, Harry
Connidc, Jr. - I liked him bet-
ter in "Independence Day."
Love Below, OutKast- OK,
whoever doesn't have this album
already, come forward. This is
7. Fallen, Evanescene - So,
you're saying that 50 Cent isn't in
8. The V Best of Sheryl
Crow, She Crow - I liked
her better when she was called
Alanis Morrisette. Wait, I didn't
like her at all.
9. Shock N Y'all, Toby
Keith - This guy compares him-
self to Jesus and nobody thinks
twice. But, we see nipple and
boom! Front page story. That's
10. Soulful, Ruben
Studdard - Trust me, soul isn't
the only thing this American Idol
is full of.
sn't there something embarrassingly democratic
I about the second grade ritual of passing out
Valentines to the entire class? Not that I'm a bitter
person, but oh, how the stupidity of it haunts me. Even
now, my hand cramps up thinking of Mom standing over
me and mandating I still fill out a "Duck Tales" card for
every creep who heaved me in the mud and all the bitchy
tattles who got me sent into the hall.
Ah, elementary school egalitarianism. No matter how
stuck up or how smelly, everybody's construction paper
mailboxes would teem with cartoon characters and paper
hearts on Feb. 14. If one person got candy, we all got
some candy. And heralding almost every Valentine's Day
thereafter, Sincerity and Romance didn't bother to get
Half for nostalgia, half because I really need a column
idea at the moment, I thought I'd crank out a few
Valentine's greetings for some of the more marginalized
entities and forgotten folks on campus - the paste-eaters
and'pants-wetters of Michigan, if you will. Don't want
anyone's feelings to get hurt after all, so here goes.
1 love you, workers of the Subway in the Union:
Like to take this chance to formally apologize for all
the times I made you come out from around to the back.
to make my Italian BMT. Don't know what goes on back
there, but 'm' sure it's very important. Sorry to have
interrupted. I understand that sometimes you run out of
every bread except Harvest Grain. Hey, next time don't
worry about my stamps. You keep 'em. Happy St.
Somebody likes you, Donald, my Pol. Sci. GSI:
It's met'Hey don't worry about what those sorority
girls said about your sweater and hair. Aw buddy think of
the fun tunes we've had. Remember when no one did the
Hobbes reading and you unnecessarily took it personal-
ly? Or when you were talking about social contract theo-.
ry and I was staring out the window at those squirrels on
the Diag? For the rest of the semester you're gonna get
nothing but even more begrudging nods and late, half-
assed response papers out of me. You deserve it. Happy.
XOX.,.Goth girl in fmy poetry discussion section:
Not everything we read is about death. Many poems
are about sex. And just because you wear black all the
time doesn't make you an expert on Langston Hughes
and Maya Angelou. Please stop scowling at the professor.
I think he's gonna cry. Happy Corporatized Celebration
t f Standardized Emotion.
Way to be awesome, crazy bearded guy:
About that time 1 woke you up while you were sleep-
ing in the stacks, I swear I wasn't touching your stash. I
just need to do some research. I go to school here. Next
time you're handing out coupon books, I'm going to wait
till I round the corner to throw it away. Happy VD.
You're cute, guy who sits next to me'in lecture drawing
assault rifles and knives all over his notes,
Obviously we haven't talked very much, but I just
wanted to say please don't kill me. Seriously. I think the
buzz-cut and arctic fatigues make a bold statement. Very
now, very ... well certainly not creepy, I never said that.
I swear, it was my friend Todd, who sits on the other side
of me. Also Pd never call the cops on you. I don't even
have their number. NRA forever, brother..
Stay cool, whichever housemates are refusing to take out
Gentlemen, it's seems our little battle of wills is at a
standstill, hmm? Well two weeks now, and I'm no where
near cracking, I assure you. If I can live a month without
toilet paper, then I sure as hell can wait it out, you
turkeys. I don't need to breathe, I'm not afraid of typhoid.
Feliz El Dia de San Valentino, you bastards.
I ehoo-choo-choose you, LSA advisor:
Look I really need to graduate at the end of this term.
I know that I haven't turned in my paperwork and that a
few classes are listed as "incomplete." Merely filing
errors and computer glitches, I assure you. Did you get
the muffins I baked? What about the lilacs? For the love
of God, please just let me slide by, this skinhead kid
wants me dead. I believe my "Uncle" Jefferson will make
it worth your while.
Donny of the New Kids on the Block says "Hang Tuff"
Mary Sue Coleman:
'Sup homeslice ... aw, why so down? Look, meeting
people is hard. Sometimes it just takes awhile for a stu-
dent body to warm up to a president. Nobody cared for
comb-over Lee at first either. Try just being yourself, or
at least what some PR-conscious focus groups think the
real you might be like. Come on, give us a smile ... well
not quite that clenched. Don't force it. Valentizza to da
Dizza, killa M.C.
- Alternat ve Valentine recipients at one point included
Diag preachers, Ralph Williams, Howard Dean, SARs
patients in Markley and the female water polo squad.
Feel left out? Bitch and moan to Scott at
Trouble in paradise.
for A2 dates
By Emily Alschbachfl For the Daily
While dinner and a movie may be the classic date
scenario, it is hardly the most interesting option for one's
Valentine's Day plans. With the plethora of restaurant
and recreation venues Ann Arbor has to offer, finding
just the right spot for your tastes is relatively simple. For
your convenience, the Daily has compiled some
alternative mix-and-match suggestions to help make
your V-Da a hit, whether you're celebrating with a
s ial someone or fly solo with friends.
C'mon, pull it! I dare ya!
Gross in millions of dollars
1. Barbershop 2: Back in
Business (24.2) - I heard
somewhere that Ice Cubehused
to rap, or something,
2. Miracle (19.3) - Best
hockey movie since "D3: The
3. You GotServed (7.5) -
Steve Harvey will apparently take
any script as long as it has words
in it somewhere.
4. Alone Came Polly (6.8)
- Well, it s still better than
"There's Something about
Mary." Well, not really, no.
5. The Butterfly Effect
(6.5) - We can only hope that
this will sink Ashton forever. Not
keeping our fingers crossed
6. Catch That Kid (5.8) -
It's "Spy Kids" meets "Spy Kids
2" meets' Sp Kids 3-D.'s
7. Lord of the Rings: The
Return of the King (4.2) -
OK nerds, we get it. Orcs and
8. Mystic River (3.6) - The
thrilling sequel to "Mystic Pizza"
with Julia Roberts.
9. Monster (3.5) - They
should get an Oscar just for mak-
ing Chartize Theron ugly. That's
what I call a challenge.
10. Cold Mountain (3.2) -
Apparently, Jude Law was in
the running to play the next
Superman. Man, that would be
so damn sweet.
Zingerman's can be a cozy, comfortable dining place for a Valentine's feast.
Any food-loving couple should appre-
ciate the native Ann Arbor choice of
Zingerman's Deli. This world-famous,
colorful and delicious deli resides in his-
toric Kerrytown on Detroit Street.
Whether you're looking for a thick,
meaty sandwich to split, or bread, cheese
and desserts to share for later, the bright
atmosphere of Zingerman's will cheer up
any winter or relationship slumps either
one of you are experiencing. Although
there's an immense selection of foods
and sandwich combos, picky eaters
beware: It's the interesting flavors and
names that make the experience that
Champion House is a Chinese restau-
rant/Japanese steakhouse on East Liberty
and accommodates a variety of moods.
It can be a nice place for a quiet dinner
for two, but make sure to come early
because a slightly noisier crowd starts to
move in later on. But if you're part of one
of these large groups or just sake-bomb-
ing for two, their potent drinks are guar-
anteed to do the trick and start your night
off just right.
The Chop House on South Main
comes to mind when thinking of a
romantic setting to dine at with your sig-
nificant other. If you're first-timers, don't
be afraid of the exquisite table settings or
the crumb remover that's used between
courses, and ask exactly what those
funny names mean on the menu if you
happen to be less than informed. Listen
up guys; although it will set you back
slightly price-wise, the food is delicious
and she's definitely more than worth it on
Locals of all kinds gather at Fleetwood
Diner for greasy food, no matter the time
of day or night. Situated at 300S. Ashley
St., stepping into the aluminum-sided
building with an awning to match is a far
different world than the white cloth seat-
ing and suited waiters at the fine dining
common to the area. After last call is over
and before stumbling home, the bar
crowd flocks here for some late night
food. Open 24 hours, Fleetwood Diner is
a hotspot for all varieties of couples, bar-
hoppers, night hawks, early risers and
The dating hotspot options in Ann Arbor go beyond the typical dinner and a movie.
.......... ....... . .....
NEWS IN ENTERTAINMENT
HOT OR NOT?
"THE SIMPSONS" TO TAKE ON
HOLLYWOOD ... FINALLY.
S After 15 grueling seasons on tele-
vision, America's favorite family is
about to make the leap to the silver
screen. According to E!Online, FOX's
feature-film animation department
has begun the early stages of anima-
tion for "The Simpsons" movie.
The buzz surrounding the possible
film was lit anew this week when
long-time scribe and producer Mike
Reiss revealed details of the film in
an interview with movie website
www.DVDFanatic.com. According to
9 Reiss, seven veteran writers are cur-
rently working on a script. Reiss
reported that Bart, Homer, Maggie
and Marge will hit the big screen by
NIPPLEGATE: JACKSON SUIT
DROPPED ... LAWSUIT, PERVERT.
A Tennessee woman has dropped
her class action lawsuit against Janet
Jackson, Justin Timberlake, MTV,
CBS and their parent company Viacom
according to Rolling Stone Online.
After filing a claim with the U.S.
District Court last week, Knoxville
native Terri Carlin has dismissed an
earlier claim in which she noted that
Jackson's stint in voyeurism caused
Carlin, "and millions of others to suf-
fer outrage, anger, embarrassment
and serious injury." According to
Carlin's dismissal statement, she's
pulling out to wait and see if the
Commission will take action on the
Whether to skim the shelves and
giggle at kama sutra books, scope out
new DVDs and music, or talk over cof-
fee in the cafe, Borders Books and
Music is a great place for couples of
all ages to gather. Located on East
Liberty Street, across from the
Michigan Theater, the friendly and
informal environment is always busy
and lively with people, especially on
the weekends. Borders might be the
place to go if you two just met and are
nervous about keeping the conversa-
tion going full swing.
An alternative idea for couples is to
check out the Main-Street Tee Shirts &
Gifts at 220 S. Main St. Located in the
midst of upscale restaurants, it gives a
more inner-city urban feel to the street
with its flashy neon signs and silk
screen T-shirt prints of almost any-
thing you can imagine. From old beer
logos and hippie bands to our favorite
heroes of the '80s - Mr. T and
Strawberry Shortcake to name a cou-
ple - you'll have fun designing T-
shirts for each other. Plus they're
ready so fast that you can show them
off on your walk back home.
Crazy Wisdom Books & Tea Shop
at 114 S. Main St. is a soothing place
to relax, read about varieties of uncon-
ventional methods of medicine and
other practices such as palm reading,
Wicca and herbal alternatives.
Upstairs is a comfortable little cafe
area serving an array of tea, caffeinat-
ed drinks and bite-size desserts. Crazy
Wisdom is a great place for couples
who like to relax and learn something
new at the same time.
For the athletic couple, a challeng-
ing racquetball game at the Central
Campus Recreation Building or other
local facility is a fun idea for an ener-
gized date. If that's not your style, I'm
sure you will have no problem think-
ing up other workouts for the two of
you to participate in - and you won't
even have to leave your room.