w w w ---w w w w w w -w -w 10B -The Michigan Daily - WeekendMagazine - Thursday, February 12, 2004 The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine iAE WEEKEND ENTERTAINMENT SCOTT SERILLA - WHATEVER IT IS, M AGAINST IT BE MINE, U OF M ME Cour tsy fB What's the deal with Ovaltine? BiLLBoARD TOP 10 1. When the Sun Goes Down Kenny Chesney - Here's to hoping that the sun goes down on Kenny Chesney really soon. 2. A Crow Left of the Murder, Incubus - Want to join my cam aign SIWBC LI? "Stopping idiotswho buy crap like Incubus." 3. Kamikaze, Twista - It took him five years to make ... if he only wouldv ye kept it a secret. 4. GCser, Josh Groban - Why does this guy always look so stoic? Oh, that's nght, it's cuz he sucks ass. S. Only You, Harry Connidc, Jr. - I liked him bet- ter in "Independence Day." 6. SpeakerboxxxlThe Love Below, OutKast- OK, whoever doesn't have this album already, come forward. This is getting ridiculous. 7. Fallen, Evanescene - So, you're saying that 50 Cent isn't in this group? 8. The V Best of Sheryl Crow, She Crow - I liked her better when she was called Alanis Morrisette. Wait, I didn't like her at all. 9. Shock N Y'all, Toby Keith - This guy compares him- self to Jesus and nobody thinks twice. But, we see nipple and boom! Front page story. That's shocking. 10. Soulful, Ruben Studdard - Trust me, soul isn't the only thing this American Idol is full of. sn't there something embarrassingly democratic I about the second grade ritual of passing out Valentines to the entire class? Not that I'm a bitter person, but oh, how the stupidity of it haunts me. Even now, my hand cramps up thinking of Mom standing over me and mandating I still fill out a "Duck Tales" card for every creep who heaved me in the mud and all the bitchy tattles who got me sent into the hall. Ah, elementary school egalitarianism. No matter how stuck up or how smelly, everybody's construction paper mailboxes would teem with cartoon characters and paper hearts on Feb. 14. If one person got candy, we all got some candy. And heralding almost every Valentine's Day thereafter, Sincerity and Romance didn't bother to get involved. Half for nostalgia, half because I really need a column idea at the moment, I thought I'd crank out a few Valentine's greetings for some of the more marginalized entities and forgotten folks on campus - the paste-eaters and'pants-wetters of Michigan, if you will. Don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt after all, so here goes. 1 love you, workers of the Subway in the Union: Like to take this chance to formally apologize for all the times I made you come out from around to the back. to make my Italian BMT. Don't know what goes on back there, but 'm' sure it's very important. Sorry to have interrupted. I understand that sometimes you run out of every bread except Harvest Grain. Hey, next time don't worry about my stamps. You keep 'em. Happy St. Valentine's Day. Somebody likes you, Donald, my Pol. Sci. GSI: It's met'Hey don't worry about what those sorority girls said about your sweater and hair. Aw buddy think of the fun tunes we've had. Remember when no one did the Hobbes reading and you unnecessarily took it personal- ly? Or when you were talking about social contract theo-. ry and I was staring out the window at those squirrels on the Diag? For the rest of the semester you're gonna get nothing but even more begrudging nods and late, half- assed response papers out of me. You deserve it. Happy. Valentine's. XOX.,.Goth girl in fmy poetry discussion section: Not everything we read is about death. Many poems are about sex. And just because you wear black all the time doesn't make you an expert on Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou. Please stop scowling at the professor. I think he's gonna cry. Happy Corporatized Celebration t f Standardized Emotion. Way to be awesome, crazy bearded guy: About that time 1 woke you up while you were sleep- ing in the stacks, I swear I wasn't touching your stash. I just need to do some research. I go to school here. Next time you're handing out coupon books, I'm going to wait till I round the corner to throw it away. Happy VD. You're cute, guy who sits next to me'in lecture drawing assault rifles and knives all over his notes, Obviously we haven't talked very much, but I just wanted to say please don't kill me. Seriously. I think the buzz-cut and arctic fatigues make a bold statement. Very now, very ... well certainly not creepy, I never said that. I swear, it was my friend Todd, who sits on the other side of me. Also Pd never call the cops on you. I don't even have their number. NRA forever, brother.. Stay cool, whichever housemates are refusing to take out the trash: Gentlemen, it's seems our little battle of wills is at a standstill, hmm? Well two weeks now, and I'm no where near cracking, I assure you. If I can live a month without toilet paper, then I sure as hell can wait it out, you turkeys. I don't need to breathe, I'm not afraid of typhoid. Feliz El Dia de San Valentino, you bastards. I ehoo-choo-choose you, LSA advisor: Look I really need to graduate at the end of this term. I know that I haven't turned in my paperwork and that a few classes are listed as "incomplete." Merely filing errors and computer glitches, I assure you. Did you get the muffins I baked? What about the lilacs? For the love of God, please just let me slide by, this skinhead kid wants me dead. I believe my "Uncle" Jefferson will make it worth your while. Donny of the New Kids on the Block says "Hang Tuff" Mary Sue Coleman: 'Sup homeslice ... aw, why so down? Look, meeting people is hard. Sometimes it just takes awhile for a stu- dent body to warm up to a president. Nobody cared for comb-over Lee at first either. Try just being yourself, or at least what some PR-conscious focus groups think the real you might be like. Come on, give us a smile ... well not quite that clenched. Don't force it. Valentizza to da Dizza, killa M.C. - Alternat ve Valentine recipients at one point included Diag preachers, Ralph Williams, Howard Dean, SARs patients in Markley and the female water polo squad. Feel left out? Bitch and moan to Scott at sserilla@umich.edu. Trouble in paradise. alternate solutions for A2 dates By Emily Alschbachfl For the Daily While dinner and a movie may be the classic date scenario, it is hardly the most interesting option for one's Valentine's Day plans. With the plethora of restaurant and recreation venues Ann Arbor has to offer, finding just the right spot for your tastes is relatively simple. For your convenience, the Daily has compiled some alternative mix-and-match suggestions to help make your V-Da a hit, whether you're celebrating with a s ial someone or fly solo with friends. C'mon, pull it! I dare ya! WEEKEND BOX OFFICE Gross in millions of dollars 1. Barbershop 2: Back in Business (24.2) - I heard somewhere that Ice Cubehused to rap, or something, 2. Miracle (19.3) - Best hockey movie since "D3: The Mighty Ducks." 3. You GotServed (7.5) - Steve Harvey will apparently take any script as long as it has words in it somewhere. 4. Alone Came Polly (6.8) - Well, it s still better than "There's Something about Mary." Well, not really, no. 5. The Butterfly Effect (6.5) - We can only hope that this will sink Ashton forever. Not keeping our fingers crossed though. 6. Catch That Kid (5.8) - It's "Spy Kids" meets "Spy Kids 2" meets' Sp Kids 3-D.'s 7. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (4.2) - OK nerds, we get it. Orcs and everything. Great. 8. Mystic River (3.6) - The thrilling sequel to "Mystic Pizza" with Julia Roberts. 9. Monster (3.5) - They should get an Oscar just for mak- ing Chartize Theron ugly. That's what I call a challenge. 10. Cold Mountain (3.2) - Apparently, Jude Law was in the running to play the next Superman. Man, that would be so damn sweet. Au Or Zingerman's can be a cozy, comfortable dining place for a Valentine's feast. y Food Any food-loving couple should appre- ciate the native Ann Arbor choice of Zingerman's Deli. This world-famous, colorful and delicious deli resides in his- toric Kerrytown on Detroit Street. Whether you're looking for a thick, meaty sandwich to split, or bread, cheese and desserts to share for later, the bright atmosphere of Zingerman's will cheer up any winter or relationship slumps either one of you are experiencing. Although there's an immense selection of foods and sandwich combos, picky eaters beware: It's the interesting flavors and names that make the experience that much better. Champion House is a Chinese restau- rant/Japanese steakhouse on East Liberty and accommodates a variety of moods. It can be a nice place for a quiet dinner for two, but make sure to come early because a slightly noisier crowd starts to move in later on. But if you're part of one of these large groups or just sake-bomb- ing for two, their potent drinks are guar- anteed to do the trick and start your night off just right. The Chop House on South Main comes to mind when thinking of a romantic setting to dine at with your sig- nificant other. If you're first-timers, don't be afraid of the exquisite table settings or the crumb remover that's used between courses, and ask exactly what those funny names mean on the menu if you happen to be less than informed. Listen up guys; although it will set you back slightly price-wise, the food is delicious and she's definitely more than worth it on Valentine's Day. Locals of all kinds gather at Fleetwood Diner for greasy food, no matter the time of day or night. Situated at 300S. Ashley St., stepping into the aluminum-sided building with an awning to match is a far different world than the white cloth seat- ing and suited waiters at the fine dining common to the area. After last call is over and before stumbling home, the bar crowd flocks here for some late night food. Open 24 hours, Fleetwood Diner is a hotspot for all varieties of couples, bar- hoppers, night hawks, early risers and insomniacs. Au OLSEN/Daily The dating hotspot options in Ann Arbor go beyond the typical dinner and a movie. I .......... ....... . ..... NEWS IN ENTERTAINMENT HOT OR NOT? "THE SIMPSONS" TO TAKE ON HOLLYWOOD ... FINALLY. S After 15 grueling seasons on tele- vision, America's favorite family is about to make the leap to the silver screen. According to E!Online, FOX's feature-film animation department has begun the early stages of anima- tion for "The Simpsons" movie. The buzz surrounding the possible film was lit anew this week when long-time scribe and producer Mike Reiss revealed details of the film in an interview with movie website www.DVDFanatic.com. According to 9 Reiss, seven veteran writers are cur- rently working on a script. Reiss reported that Bart, Homer, Maggie and Marge will hit the big screen by winter 2006. NIPPLEGATE: JACKSON SUIT DROPPED ... LAWSUIT, PERVERT. A Tennessee woman has dropped her class action lawsuit against Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake, MTV, CBS and their parent company Viacom according to Rolling Stone Online. After filing a claim with the U.S. District Court last week, Knoxville native Terri Carlin has dismissed an earlier claim in which she noted that Jackson's stint in voyeurism caused Carlin, "and millions of others to suf- fer outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury." According to Carlin's dismissal statement, she's pulling out to wait and see if the Federal Communications Commission will take action on the matter. Fun Whether to skim the shelves and giggle at kama sutra books, scope out new DVDs and music, or talk over cof- fee in the cafe, Borders Books and Music is a great place for couples of all ages to gather. Located on East Liberty Street, across from the Michigan Theater, the friendly and informal environment is always busy and lively with people, especially on the weekends. Borders might be the place to go if you two just met and are nervous about keeping the conversa- tion going full swing. An alternative idea for couples is to check out the Main-Street Tee Shirts & Gifts at 220 S. Main St. Located in the midst of upscale restaurants, it gives a more inner-city urban feel to the street with its flashy neon signs and silk screen T-shirt prints of almost any- thing you can imagine. From old beer logos and hippie bands to our favorite heroes of the '80s - Mr. T and Strawberry Shortcake to name a cou- ple - you'll have fun designing T- shirts for each other. Plus they're ready so fast that you can show them off on your walk back home. Crazy Wisdom Books & Tea Shop at 114 S. Main St. is a soothing place to relax, read about varieties of uncon- ventional methods of medicine and other practices such as palm reading, Wicca and herbal alternatives. Upstairs is a comfortable little cafe area serving an array of tea, caffeinat- ed drinks and bite-size desserts. Crazy Wisdom is a great place for couples who like to relax and learn something new at the same time. For the athletic couple, a challeng- ing racquetball game at the Central Campus Recreation Building or other local facility is a fun idea for an ener- gized date. If that's not your style, I'm sure you will have no problem think- ing up other workouts for the two of you to participate in - and you won't even have to leave your room. II ( I 1I -- .