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2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, December 4, 2003
Random admits Canadians th'nk U.S. is fat
The Michigan Daily - Weekend againe -
A guide to who's where,'
what's happening and why T eWe e d Ls
you need to be there..Th e k n Ls
By Neal Pais
Daily Arts Writer
The Michigan Daily: Hello, is
Random: This is she.
TMD: My name is Jim-Bob, from
The Michigan Daily. How are you on
this lovely December evening?
R: Fabulous! And yourself?
TMD: I'm doing pretty well,
thanks for asking. How would you
like to participate in this week's Ran-
dom Student Interview?
R: Serious? This is great ... let's do it.
TMD: Great. Alright, first question:
Are you from the East Coast, the Mid-
west or "Other?"
R: Other. Actually, I'm from Cana-
TMD: Oh, that's wonderful. I'm a
sophisticate, according to some. What
do you think of foreign people? Wait
- you are foreign!
TMD: Name your favorite ethnic
R: Burritos - they're awesome. No
wait. I love sushi ... that's my favorite.
TMD: My favorite dish in the
whole world is escargots with garlic-
sauteed guano beans. Do you like
R: Never had those before.
TMD: They are the best. Moving
on, would you rather hippyflip or
R: Uh, I don't know what those
TMD: It doesn't matter; they're
both quite interesting.
R: OK. Candyflip, then.
TMD: Excellent. In what nation
may you find the city of Kandy?
R: Wow, I've never heard of it.
TMD: Yeah, Kandy with a "K."
Take a stab.
R: Europe, maybe?
TMD: Nope. It's in Asia ... the
"teardrop" of India - Sri Lanka. I'm
reading a book on it right now.
R: Oh, man. It looks like I'm doing
pretty bad at this.
TMD: Nonsense. You're doing just
R: Is this really going to be in the
TMD: I promise it will, and it's
going to be great.
R: Aw, that's so cool!
TMD: Who is the hipper Ann Arbor
celeb: Iggy Pop or Andrew WK.?
R: Definitely Iggy.
TMD: Have you ever "diddled the
R: No. (Laughing nervously)
TMD: So you know what that is?.
R: I'm not sure, but I think I have
a pretty good idea.
TMD: Huh? Tell me your thoughts
R: If I knew what it was, I'd tell
ya. Sorry ...
TMD: Hey, don't worry about it.
It's complicated, anyway. Do you
see McDonald's as part of the
R: Haha, like people just getting
fat? Yeah, I suppose so.
TMD: Right. Do you believe in the
continuity of the self? Like, do you
believe in the reincarnation of the
R: I'm not sure.
TMD: If you could be any creature
in another life, what would you be?
R: A cat ... they get pampered a lot.
TMD: Ah, yes. Have you ever
eaten anything "magic?"
TMD: What's better for a broken
heart: Ice cream or rock cocaine?
R: I'm gonna have to go with the
ice cream there.
TMD: What do you think Ann
Arbor's newest fashion trend will be
R: Eskimo chic. Haha.
TMD: Nice. Have you, by any
chance seen the film "Chunky Band
R: No, missed that one.
TMD: I'm sure you'll be able to
answer this one for me. You're a
woman; what, then, is Victoria's secret?
I need to know; it haunts me every
R: I dunno ... it's a good secret,
TMD: No. I know you know!
R: Haha, sorry, I can't.
TMD: Oh well. Do you know what
the national fetish of Denmark is?
R: (Giggling now) No, I do not.
TMD: Golden showers. Yeah. I
R: Ew! Disgusting.
TMD: What is the best prank you
have ever pulled?
R: I've thrown water balloons at
people from a moving car.
TMD: Have you heard of "Mischief
TMD: That's good. Well, it looks
like we're all done here. I want to
thank you for being so cool. You
were awesome; maybe the best one.
Have a good night!
R: You too. Thank you so much!
I'm so excited.
writers: Sravya Chirumamilla
Aliya Chowdhri La Izenberg'
Mean Jacobs, Ileal Pals, Zach
Mal e, Niam Slevin, Anthea
Photo Edit To D i,
Brett Mountain yin'
otdnrap hers: Frst asey,-
Tuman, Ryan Weiner
Cover Photo: Kelly in
Scott erdia, Editors'
Editor In Chief: Loue Meizlish
Honey Right up there with "Gigli"
for best movie of the ear. Jessica
Alba, I want Honey! Damn she's
fine. At Showcase: 10:30, 12:10,
12:40, 2:30, 3:00, 4:45, 5:15, 7:15,
7:45, 9:35, 10:05, 11:55 (Fri. and
Sat.), 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.)
The Last Samurai As hard as it
may be to accept Tom Cruise as a
Samurai warrior, we here at the
Daily still hope for greatness.
Academy Awards, I think so. Until
the King returns that is. At
Showcase: 11:45, 12:15, 12:45,
3:15, 3:45, 4:15, 6:40, 7:10, 8:00,
8:45, 10:00, 10:30, 11:15 (Fri. and
Sat.), 12:00 (Fri. and Sat.) At
Madstone: 12:45, 2:00, 3:45, 5:15,
7:00, 9:00, 10:00
Taking Sides Which side do you
want to take? I don't know, which
side do you want? I'll take the left.
Rock 'n' Roll! At Madstone: 3:10,
Cell Phones & Accessories di?
""z" Satellite TV & HDTV "1 0R F
jAWTTWireless High Speed Internet
Talking Electronic Dictionaries
d 0 bond
QUALITY DRY CLEANING
& SHIRT SERVICE
(Across from Nickels Arcade)
A PA RT ME NT H OM E S
1, 2 & 3 Bedroom Apartment Homes
Bad Santa Billy Bob isn't acting. He's
really just that mean. But man does
that Bernie Mac have some style. At
Showcase: 11:15, 1:25, 3:40, 5:45,
7:55, 10:15, 12:15 (Fri. and Sat.) 3.5
Brother Bear Yeah, old style anima-
tion's still good. And monkeys might
fly out of my butt, or it's just bad.
However you want to look at it. At
Showcase: 11:20, 1:10, 3:10, 5:00 3
Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat
Anybody else think the Cat looks
exactly like the Grinch? I mean, it's a
furry suit with a funny guy inside, only
one's green and the other has a funny
hat. Now that's innovation. At
Showcase: 11:00, 12:30, 1:00, 2:25,
2:55, 4:35, 5:05, 6:50, 7:20, 9:25,
11:20 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars
Elf I like anything with sugar. So long
as it has sugar in it. A spoonful of
sugar. I know him! At Showcase:
10:40, 12:20, 12:50, 2:35, 3:05, 4:50,
5:20, 7:05, 7:35, 9:15, 11:25 3 stars
Gothika You know the scariest part
of the entire movie? It's when Robert
Downey Jr. sits in the corner shooting
up and the studio lawyers come by
with a $20 million contract. Lord
knows he needs the money to sup-
port that habit. At Showcase: 11:10,
1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:40, 8:10, 9:55,
10:25, 12:10 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:40 (Fri.
and Sat.) At Madstone: 9:35 1.5 stars
The Haunted Mansion You know
your career is in an unfixable slump
when all you can make are family
movies...BAD family movies. Sorry
Eddie, your time has passed. Tracy
Morgan, here I come! At Showcase:
10:45, 12:05, 12:35, 1:05, 2:20, 2:50,
3:20, 4:25, 4:55, 5:25, 6:30, 7:00,
7:30, 8:30, 9:00, 9:30, 11:00, 11:30
(Fri. and Sat.) 1 star
Looney Toons: Back in Action I
didn't know they needed to come
back. Anyways, it only works if you
have an out-of-place ex-basketball
star trying to play baseball who's kid-
napped by the Toons. Then you have
a movie. At Showcase: 10:35, 12:40,
2:45 2 stars
Love Actually They said that "Lara
Croft: Tomb Raider" was the first film
of the post-plot era. I think we have a
contender here for the second. At
Showcase: 1:15, 4:00, 6:45, 9:40,
12:20 (Fri. and Sat.) At Madstone:
1:10, 3:55, 7:10, 9:45 4 stars
Master and Commander: The
Far Side of the World At first the
preview didn't make sense. Then they
said Peter Weir was directing Russel
and Paul. Then the only female in the
movie was hot. Good stuff....good
stuff. At Showcase: 12:25, 3:35, 6:35,
9:20, 9:50, 12:05 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:35
(Fri. and Sat.) At Madstone: 1:15,
4:10, 7:00, 9:45 4.5 stars
The Matrix Revolutions I love
when movies totally ruin a franchise.
Especially when there never should
have been a franchise to begin with.
Those Wachowskis, they're so smart.
At Showcase: 4:40, 7:25, 10:10,
12:35 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars
The Missing Tommy Lee Jones isn't
only the biggest asshole in Hollywood
anymore, he's offending Native
Americans now too. At Showcase:
12:55, 4:05, 9:45, 10:45, 12:30 (Fri.
and Sat.) 4 stars
Mystic River All hail Clint Eastwood.
He's so good. He's so great. His
movie is flawless. Except the fact that
there are some of the most annoying
devices ever used in film history, and
they're all in this movie. Thanks, Clint!
At Showcase: 9:55, 12:35. At
Madstone: 1:30, 4:15, 7:05 4 stars
The Station Agent Tis the season
of little people. Brings a tear to the
eye. Next thing you know, Cuba
Gooding, Jr. will be trying out the
short pants for a sob-story role to res-
urrect his career. We love you Cuba.
At Madstone: 1:25, 5:25, 7:25 4 stars
Timeline It's good to see that Paul
Walker, Ashton Kutcher, Vin Diesel,
Ben Affleck and oh so many others
are getting millions upon millions of
dollars when they can't act for shit.
You know there's a problem when
Cameron Crow tells you you need
acting lessons. Oh, and Michael
Creighton novels make good
movies...really. At Showcase: 12:00,
12:40, 5:10, 7:50, 10:20, 12:40 (Fri.
and Sat.) 3 stars
Lost in Translation Wild Bill retums to
town with love on his mind and Too
on his plane ticket Oh, yeah,'they also
say he knows his way around a liquor
a. State Theater: 7:00 & 9:15 p.m.
Pieces of April How cute: Katie
Holmes wants to lay a bad girl for
once. Well, not realty She's just a strug
gling mother trying to make
anksgiving. State Theater: 7:15 &
Shattered Glass When it breaks, man
does it break. Michigan Theater: 7 p.m.
The Ohung Detective Not as good
as the show, but I wish I was in it
Michigan Theater: 9 p.m.
Arthur Greene Piano Recital This
concert will feature a variety of works
from Tchaikovsky to Prokofiev. 8 p.m.,
Rackham Auditorium, free.
Dinitui from Pais Shouldn't it be
"Demitri from Freedom" or something
like that? The Necto, 516 E Liberty St,1
p.m. $15 ($20 under 21). 994-5436.
Madcat & Kane Harmonica virtuoso?
Pshaw, I bet he can't hold a candle to
diag uy. The Ark, 316 S. Main St, 8
Musical Theatre Department -
Ludd This new musical is a workshop
production of a folk tale about the roe
uck plays in our lives. 8 .m., Trueblood
Theatre, $8; 734-7642538.
The Ron Brooks Trio Hope for jazzy
renditions of dassic Christmas songs.
Maybe "hope" isn't the right word there.
Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main St., 8 p.m.
RuddigooreFull of curses, disguises and
unspeakable agony, this is a play about
trying to escape fate that will enchant
the whole family. 8 p.m., Lydia
Mendelssohn Theatre, 734-764-2538.
The Nutcracker Full of fantastical
effects, "The Nutcracker is an enchanti-
ng fairy tale that taps into the childlike
wonderment in all of us. 8 p.m., Power
Bus 174 Where are you? Michigan
Lost in Translation See Thursday.
State Theater: 7:00, 9:15.
Pieces of AprlSee Thursday. State
Big Al and the Heavyweights At
first I thought that said Weird Al. I don't
know how to feel right now The Firefy
Club, 2075S. Ashley St, 9 p.m. $12. 665-
Boston Pops Esplanade Orestra
Lockhart follows in the footsteps of other
notable conductors of the Boston Pops
in this holiday concert perfect for the
whole family.8 p.m., Cisler Arena, $18-
Musical Theatre Department -
Lucid See Thursday.
Pride Go, if only for the all-80's room.
Also, maybe score a free drink or two.
The Necto, 516 E Liberty St,10 p.m. $
($8 under 21). 994-5436.
Rootstand I once say a self-serve, unat
tended onionsstand out in the count
Needless to say, I helped myself. Blin(
Pig, 208 S. First St. 9:30 p.m. $6 ($'
under 21). 996-8588.
Ruddigore See Thursday.
The Nutcracker See Thursday.
Big Lebowski Calmer than you ar
dude. Calmer than you are. Stat
Bus 174 See Friday. Michigan Theatei
Lost in Translation See Thursda
State Theater: (2:15), (4:30), 7:00, 9:1
Pieces of April See Thursday. Stat
Theater: (2:00), (4:15), 7:15, 9:30.
Handel's Messiah Join the membe
of the UMS Choral Union and An
Arbor Symphony Orchestra for th
time-honored tradition. Handel
Messiah. 8 p.m., Michigan Theater, $12
Jocelyn B & the Detroit Stree
Players Tell us, Jocelyn B, what are yo
,ingto hide with that apostrophe
avem Club, 210 S. FirstSt,s 10 p.m. $f
Johnny Cash Memorial Concert
wonder what would happen if someor
covered his NIN cover. Is that lik~
remixingsa remix? Does it just revert t
normal?.BlindPig, 208 S. First St, 9:3
p.m. $6 ($9 under 21). 996-8588.
LGBT Dance Party Two pride partif
in one weekend? I blame 'Queer Eye
Not that there's an ing wrong wit
that The Ark, 316 . Main St,8 .m.$1
(advanced tickets only). 761-1451.
Resident Activity Center
Washer & Dryer
1100 Rabbit Run Circle
Ann Arbor, MI 48103
Phone (734) 998-1000
Fax (734) 998-0000
- Resort to the ,Lfestyle Yau Deserve.
Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater: 668-8397; Quality 16: 827-2837; Showcase: 973-8380;
Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times at State Theater are effec-
tive for Saturday and Sunday only.