w w w w q m m m -a w _l_ -w- - w s w w w w w IN 2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, December 4, 2003 Random admits Canadians th'nk U.S. is fat The Michigan Daily - Weekend againe - A guide to who's where,' what's happening and why T eWe e d Ls you need to be there..Th e k n Ls By Neal Pais Daily Arts Writer The Michigan Daily: Hello, is Vanessa there? Random: This is she. TMD: My name is Jim-Bob, from The Michigan Daily. How are you on this lovely December evening? R: Fabulous! And yourself? TMD: I'm doing pretty well, thanks for asking. How would you like to participate in this week's Ran- dom Student Interview? R: Serious? This is great ... let's do it. TMD: Great. Alright, first question: Are you from the East Coast, the Mid- west or "Other?" R: Other. Actually, I'm from Cana- da. TMD: Oh, that's wonderful. I'm a sophisticate, according to some. What do you think of foreign people? Wait - you are foreign! R: Yup! TMD: Name your favorite ethnic cuisine. R: Burritos - they're awesome. No wait. I love sushi ... that's my favorite. TMD: My favorite dish in the whole world is escargots with garlic- sauteed guano beans. Do you like guano beans? R: Never had those before. TMD: They are the best. Moving on, would you rather hippyflip or candlyflip? R: Uh, I don't know what those things are. TMD: It doesn't matter; they're both quite interesting. R: OK. Candyflip, then. TMD: Excellent. In what nation may you find the city of Kandy? R: Wow, I've never heard of it. Candy? TMD: Yeah, Kandy with a "K." Take a stab. R: Europe, maybe? TMD: Nope. It's in Asia ... the "teardrop" of India - Sri Lanka. I'm reading a book on it right now. R: Oh, man. It looks like I'm doing pretty bad at this. TMD: Nonsense. You're doing just fine. R: Is this really going to be in the paper tomorrow? TMD: I promise it will, and it's going to be great. R: Aw, that's so cool! TMD: Who is the hipper Ann Arbor celeb: Iggy Pop or Andrew WK.? R: Definitely Iggy. TMD: Have you ever "diddled the box?" R: No. (Laughing nervously) TMD: So you know what that is?. R: I'm not sure, but I think I have a pretty good idea. TMD: Huh? Tell me your thoughts on Zionism. R: If I knew what it was, I'd tell ya. Sorry ... TMD: Hey, don't worry about it. It's complicated, anyway. Do you see McDonald's as part of the American Dream? R: Haha, like people just getting fat? Yeah, I suppose so. TMD: Right. Do you believe in the continuity of the self? Like, do you believe in the reincarnation of the soul? R: I'm not sure. TMD: If you could be any creature in another life, what would you be? R: A cat ... they get pampered a lot. TMD: Ah, yes. Have you ever eaten anything "magic?" R: Yes. TMD: What's better for a broken heart: Ice cream or rock cocaine? R: I'm gonna have to go with the ice cream there. TMD: What do you think Ann Arbor's newest fashion trend will be this season? R: Eskimo chic. Haha. TMD: Nice. Have you, by any chance seen the film "Chunky Band Camp? R: No, missed that one. TMD: I'm sure you'll be able to answer this one for me. You're a woman; what, then, is Victoria's secret? I need to know; it haunts me every night. R: I dunno ... it's a good secret, though. TMD: No. I know you know! R: Haha, sorry, I can't. TMD: Oh well. Do you know what the national fetish of Denmark is? R: (Giggling now) No, I do not. TMD: Golden showers. Yeah. I know. Eurotrash! R: Ew! Disgusting. TMD: What is the best prank you have ever pulled? R: I've thrown water balloons at people from a moving car. TMD: Have you heard of "Mischief Incorporated?" R: No. TMD: That's good. Well, it looks like we're all done here. I want to thank you for being so cool. You were awesome; maybe the best one. Have a good night! R: You too. Thank you so much! I'm so excited. writers: Sravya Chirumamilla Aliya Chowdhri La Izenberg' Mean Jacobs, Ileal Pals, Zach Mal e, Niam Slevin, Anthea Photo Edit To D i, Brett Mountain yin' otdnrap hers: Frst asey,- Tuman, Ryan Weiner Cover Photo: Kelly in ArsEditors:To Wasisrrers Maeniamhledio,AntRoerts Scott erdia, Editors' Editor In Chief: Loue Meizlish Films opening Honey Right up there with "Gigli" for best movie of the ear. Jessica Alba, I want Honey! Damn she's fine. At Showcase: 10:30, 12:10, 12:40, 2:30, 3:00, 4:45, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:35, 10:05, 11:55 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.) The Last Samurai As hard as it may be to accept Tom Cruise as a Samurai warrior, we here at the Daily still hope for greatness. Academy Awards, I think so. Until the King returns that is. At Showcase: 11:45, 12:15, 12:45, 3:15, 3:45, 4:15, 6:40, 7:10, 8:00, 8:45, 10:00, 10:30, 11:15 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:00 (Fri. and Sat.) At Madstone: 12:45, 2:00, 3:45, 5:15, 7:00, 9:00, 10:00 Taking Sides Which side do you want to take? I don't know, which side do you want? I'll take the left. Rock 'n' Roll! At Madstone: 3:10, 9:35 Films holding WWW.YCIOC LOTHING COm Cell Phones & Accessories di? ""z" Satellite TV & HDTV "1 0R F jAWTTWireless High Speed Internet (comcast Talking Electronic Dictionaries d 0 bond QUALITY DRY CLEANING & SHIRT SERVICE 332 Maynard (Across from Nickels Arcade) 668-6335 A PA RT ME NT H OM E S A ffordable!t 1, 2 & 3 Bedroom Apartment Homes Bad Santa Billy Bob isn't acting. He's really just that mean. But man does that Bernie Mac have some style. At Showcase: 11:15, 1:25, 3:40, 5:45, 7:55, 10:15, 12:15 (Fri. and Sat.) 3.5 stars Brother Bear Yeah, old style anima- tion's still good. And monkeys might fly out of my butt, or it's just bad. However you want to look at it. At Showcase: 11:20, 1:10, 3:10, 5:00 3 stars Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat Anybody else think the Cat looks exactly like the Grinch? I mean, it's a furry suit with a funny guy inside, only one's green and the other has a funny hat. Now that's innovation. At Showcase: 11:00, 12:30, 1:00, 2:25, 2:55, 4:35, 5:05, 6:50, 7:20, 9:25, 11:20 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars Elf I like anything with sugar. So long as it has sugar in it. A spoonful of sugar. I know him! At Showcase: 10:40, 12:20, 12:50, 2:35, 3:05, 4:50, 5:20, 7:05, 7:35, 9:15, 11:25 3 stars Gothika You know the scariest part of the entire movie? It's when Robert Downey Jr. sits in the corner shooting up and the studio lawyers come by with a $20 million contract. Lord knows he needs the money to sup- port that habit. At Showcase: 11:10, 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:40, 8:10, 9:55, 10:25, 12:10 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:40 (Fri. and Sat.) At Madstone: 9:35 1.5 stars The Haunted Mansion You know your career is in an unfixable slump when all you can make are family movies...BAD family movies. Sorry Eddie, your time has passed. Tracy Morgan, here I come! At Showcase: 10:45, 12:05, 12:35, 1:05, 2:20, 2:50, 3:20, 4:25, 4:55, 5:25, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:30, 9:00, 9:30, 11:00, 11:30 (Fri. and Sat.) 1 star Looney Toons: Back in Action I didn't know they needed to come back. Anyways, it only works if you have an out-of-place ex-basketball star trying to play baseball who's kid- napped by the Toons. Then you have a movie. At Showcase: 10:35, 12:40, 2:45 2 stars Love Actually They said that "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" was the first film of the post-plot era. I think we have a contender here for the second. At Showcase: 1:15, 4:00, 6:45, 9:40, 12:20 (Fri. and Sat.) At Madstone: 1:10, 3:55, 7:10, 9:45 4 stars Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World At first the preview didn't make sense. Then they said Peter Weir was directing Russel and Paul. Then the only female in the movie was hot. Good stuff....good stuff. At Showcase: 12:25, 3:35, 6:35, 9:20, 9:50, 12:05 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.) At Madstone: 1:15, 4:10, 7:00, 9:45 4.5 stars The Matrix Revolutions I love when movies totally ruin a franchise. Especially when there never should have been a franchise to begin with. Those Wachowskis, they're so smart. At Showcase: 4:40, 7:25, 10:10, 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars The Missing Tommy Lee Jones isn't only the biggest asshole in Hollywood anymore, he's offending Native Americans now too. At Showcase: 12:55, 4:05, 9:45, 10:45, 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.) 4 stars Mystic River All hail Clint Eastwood. He's so good. He's so great. His movie is flawless. Except the fact that there are some of the most annoying devices ever used in film history, and they're all in this movie. Thanks, Clint! At Showcase: 9:55, 12:35. At Madstone: 1:30, 4:15, 7:05 4 stars The Station Agent Tis the season of little people. Brings a tear to the eye. Next thing you know, Cuba Gooding, Jr. will be trying out the short pants for a sob-story role to res- urrect his career. We love you Cuba. At Madstone: 1:25, 5:25, 7:25 4 stars Timeline It's good to see that Paul Walker, Ashton Kutcher, Vin Diesel, Ben Affleck and oh so many others are getting millions upon millions of dollars when they can't act for shit. You know there's a problem when Cameron Crow tells you you need acting lessons. Oh, and Michael Creighton novels make good movies...really. At Showcase: 12:00, 12:40, 5:10, 7:50, 10:20, 12:40 (Fri. and Sat.) 3 stars Thursday CAMPUS CINEMA Lost in Translation Wild Bill retums to town with love on his mind and Too on his plane ticket Oh, yeah,'they also say he knows his way around a liquor a. State Theater: 7:00 & 9:15 p.m. Pieces of April How cute: Katie Holmes wants to lay a bad girl for once. Well, not realty She's just a strug gling mother trying to make anksgiving. State Theater: 7:15 & 9:30 p.m. Shattered Glass When it breaks, man does it break. Michigan Theater: 7 p.m. The Ohung Detective Not as good as the show, but I wish I was in it Michigan Theater: 9 p.m. MUSIC Arthur Greene Piano Recital This concert will feature a variety of works from Tchaikovsky to Prokofiev. 8 p.m., Rackham Auditorium, free. Dinitui from Pais Shouldn't it be "Demitri from Freedom" or something like that? The Necto, 516 E Liberty St,1 p.m. $15 ($20 under 21). 994-5436. Madcat & Kane Harmonica virtuoso? Pshaw, I bet he can't hold a candle to diag uy. The Ark, 316 S. Main St, 8 p.m. $1.761-1451. Musical Theatre Department - Ludd This new musical is a workshop production of a folk tale about the roe uck plays in our lives. 8 .m., Trueblood Theatre, $8; 734-7642538. The Ron Brooks Trio Hope for jazzy renditions of dassic Christmas songs. Maybe "hope" isn't the right word there. Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main St., 8 p.m. $5. 662-8310. THEATRE RuddigooreFull of curses, disguises and unspeakable agony, this is a play about trying to escape fate that will enchant the whole family. 8 p.m., Lydia Mendelssohn Theatre, 734-764-2538. The Nutcracker Full of fantastical effects, "The Nutcracker is an enchanti- ng fairy tale that taps into the childlike wonderment in all of us. 8 p.m., Power Center, $8-$20; 734-764-2538. Fnday CAMPUS CINEMA Bus 174 Where are you? Michigan Theater: Lost in Translation See Thursday. State Theater: 7:00, 9:15. Pieces of AprlSee Thursday. State Theater: 7:15,9:30. MUSIC Big Al and the Heavyweights At first I thought that said Weird Al. I don't know how to feel right now The Firefy Club, 2075S. Ashley St, 9 p.m. $12. 665- 9090. Boston Pops Esplanade Orestra Lockhart follows in the footsteps of other notable conductors of the Boston Pops in this holiday concert perfect for the whole family.8 p.m., Cisler Arena, $18- $200; 734-764-2538. Musical Theatre Department - Lucid See Thursday. Pride Go, if only for the all-80's room. Also, maybe score a free drink or two. The Necto, 516 E Liberty St,10 p.m. $ ($8 under 21). 994-5436. Rootstand I once say a self-serve, unat tended onionsstand out in the count Needless to say, I helped myself. Blin( Pig, 208 S. First St. 9:30 p.m. $6 ($' under 21). 996-8588. THEATRE Ruddigore See Thursday. The Nutcracker See Thursday. Saturday CAMPUS CINEMA Big Lebowski Calmer than you ar dude. Calmer than you are. Stat Theater: Midnight Bus 174 See Friday. Michigan Theatei Lost in Translation See Thursda State Theater: (2:15), (4:30), 7:00, 9:1 Pieces of April See Thursday. Stat Theater: (2:00), (4:15), 7:15, 9:30. MUSIC Handel's Messiah Join the membe of the UMS Choral Union and An Arbor Symphony Orchestra for th time-honored tradition. Handel Messiah. 8 p.m., Michigan Theater, $12 $24; 734-764-2538. Jocelyn B & the Detroit Stree Players Tell us, Jocelyn B, what are yo ,ingto hide with that apostrophe avem Club, 210 S. FirstSt,s 10 p.m. $f 332-9900. Johnny Cash Memorial Concert wonder what would happen if someor covered his NIN cover. Is that lik~ remixingsa remix? Does it just revert t normal?.BlindPig, 208 S. First St, 9:3 p.m. $6 ($9 under 21). 996-8588. LGBT Dance Party Two pride partif in one weekend? I blame 'Queer Eye Not that there's an ing wrong wit that The Ark, 316 . Main St,8 .m.$1 (advanced tickets only). 761-1451. " " Resident Activity Center Washer & Dryer Carwash Center Nature Trail 1100 Rabbit Run Circle Ann Arbor, MI 48103 Phone (734) 998-1000 Fax (734) 998-0000 www.ced-concord.com - Resort to the ,Lfestyle Yau Deserve. Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater: 668-8397; Quality 16: 827-2837; Showcase: 973-8380; State: 761-8667. Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times at State Theater are effec- tive for Saturday and Sunday only.