10B -The Michigan Daily - Wekeind Magazine - Thursday, September 18, 2003
ScoTT SERILLA - WHATEVER iT 6S, M AGASIT
The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine -
Ticket scalping remains a problem
By Lauren Hodge
Daily Arts Writer
I'M NOT COLLEGE MATERIAL
Two big "N.E.R.D.s"
1. Metamorphosis, Hilary
Duff - I think I've got it figured
out; she's Hilary Duff AND Lizzie
2. Loveg Life, Mary J.
Blige - See Mary, I told you your
reign at the top wouldn't last. I m a
prophet. I've risen above the streets
- 'cause that's what a prophet does.
3. Greatest Hits Volume HI
And Some Other Stuff, Alan
Jackson - Unfortunately, neither
Greatest Hits Volume II nor "other
stuff" includes "Chattahoochee."
4. Dangerously In Love,
Beyonce - At least she's not
safely in love, cause that would
just be sill .
5. Fa Evanescence -
Wh do you torment me by staying
itle top 10? Why, why?
6. The Neptunes Present ...
Clones, Vanous Artists - If they
cloned Pharrell do you think he
would just ditch ChadHugo, you
know the other guy in the
..Jac, ot, Chingy - Bingo!
Who says mop in the Re a'
8. A Rush Of Blood To The
Head, Coldplay - With Gwyneth
as his girl-toy, what head do you
think Martin means?
9. Bad Boys II Soundtrack,
Various Artists - P. Diddy really
should have let Martin Lawrence
dance in the video. Did you see
"Girl's Best Friend?"
10. Get Rich Or Die Tyin,
50 Cent - Well, now that you
have all bought his CD I guess we
don't have to worry about the die
'm sitting in discussion, scribbling this in the corner
when I should be listening to the insights of others.
Technically, I can still hear them of course, but frankly,
I lost track of what was going on awhile ago. Everybody's
voices sound distant and dissipated, like I'm standing at
the mouth of a cave.
Wait - did I mention I'm graduating? That's really the
first thing, should start there.
OK, so due to various AP credits, summer classes and
flukes of bad planning, I'll be ready to graduate by the end
of this term. So, for me, college is pretty much, as the
French say, "le kaiput' (they're not as poetic as y au've'
been led to believe).
This is probably insignificant to you, but nothin sh )rt
of serendipitous from the perspective of my parents, nct an
inch below tragic to friends and an indefinite mix of the
two for yours truly.
I guess that brings us back to this anonymous classocm
where I'm writing. It's altogether likely you're sitting in
one right now, reading this while ignoring the professor /
GSIs I your more ambitious peers discussing the lectur,;s
we should have attended and the books we should have
read. I'm making this sound like I never pay attention,
which isn't true, but whether or not I end up pontificating
or transcribing the pontifications of others, it's bottom-line
time - I'm getting sick of it either way.
I found the title of this columnnin a notebook from fresh-
man year. I was searching for a long. lost syllabus to con-
vince our Political Science department that I didn't need to
retake a prerequisite, and I found those words scribbled in
the margins of lecture notes dated from three years ago.
Hard to say precisely what I meant then. Maybe it was
just a general feeling of being overwhelmed (Hey fresh-
man! If you're not liking college yet, don't let it drive you
insane. Your parents, teachers and the University haven't
mentioned it, but the first couple weeks, hell months, will
suck for lots of you. Hated high school? Coming hered
won't instantly solve any problems kiddos. Speaking of
problems, why am I still writing in paraphrases?)
I may have not meant it seriously at all, or maybe it was
a moment of being over dramatic and grumpy. I might
have been just been getting sick of Academia and the
sometimes stifling, contentious world that surrounds it.
Too many indifferent professors and bitter GSIs wrapped
up in their own studies and fostering a "safe, open learn-
ing space" to teach anything.
I wouldn't doubt that I feeling bitter myself, possible
about the sunny optimism and lemming-like careerism of
other students. I didn't know what I wanted to be then,
have only a vaguer idea now of what comes next and a qui-
etly smoldering resentment to people who have it all
I guess I assumed college was going to be a direct step-
ping stone to the real world or at the very least the job mar-
ket. I'm not particularly better connected to either one than I
was leaving high school. I have got a better sense of what I'd
like to do with my life, but mainly via the process of elimi-
nation, from figuring out what I can't stomach rather than
what I love. Maybe Im actually worse off than I was leaving
high school, cause I don't have any delusions of heading off
to a utopian collegiate paradise after this graduation
Regardless, the field's narrowed job-wise. I found vari-
ous nitches and made some changes which made college
an infinitely better place (find something outside the
But, sitting here now and staring out the window, I feel
like I'm back to where I was when I jotted down that line:
I don't feel like a belong here, and in a few short months
the University will hand me a slip of paper to prove it. I
won't be college material at all then; I'll be a product of
Grim news indeed friends, especially since nobody
seems interested in buying pre-packaged post-grads in the
current economical climate.
So anyways, I'll tell you my super secert plan to make
everything alright. I've heard of a place for misfits like us
where we won't be judged and won't be tearing at each
other for scraps thrown down from profs.Where only what
we know will be important and everything we learn will
be practical. Where jobs will be thrown by the handful
after I'm ready to leave.
Kids I'm going to - GRAD SCHOOL! HURRAH!!
(Editor's note - As the author wrote these final words,,
his entire class grew quiet. The author lept upon his desk
and began a beautiful song about the benfits of grad.
school. The class joined in the song, stnkingpre-rehearsed
dance moves. Everyone everywhere on campus proceed to
leave their gray classrooms and sing the praises of the
mythical wonders of post-graduate education. All con-
verged on the Diag, where ice cream, pony rides and pink
balloons were handed out. Mary Sue and a homeless guy
did a big tap off for the finale. It was sweet)
- Scott Serilla usually is much more pleasant when
he isn't staring down a deadline. Email him and see
for yourse f at firstname.lastname@example.org-
Oedipus ain't got nothing on me.
Gross in millions of dollars
1. Once Upon a Time in
Mexico (23.4) - Coming next,
"El Mariachi" in 3-D. Because it
worked so well for those damn
2. Matchstick Men (13.0) -
I'm glad they didn't choose the
title Lighter Lads, that would have
3. Cabin Fever (8.6) -
Forget a flesh-eating virus. A
week alone with nothing but the
H Illary Duff CD, that's cabin fever.
4. Dickie Roberts: Former
Child Star (5.0) - Do you think
David Spade was a smug, unhap-
py little man ... even as a child?
y. Pirates of the Caribbean:
The Curse of the Black Peal
(4.5) - Let's hear it for Johnny
Depp for being in two of the top-
10 movies of the weekend. It
must be because he is married to
6. Freaky Friday (4.0) -
Why does this movie have a scari-
er name than the one below it?
7. Jeepers Creepers 11
(3.0) - How do you convince
anyone to see this movie, do you
just not let them see the first one?
8. Seabiscuit (2.7) - Take
him into the woods, so he can
remember how to be a horse.
9. S.W.A.T. (2.7) - Seabiscuit
Was A Terd. "Super Troopers" for-
ever! Right, car ramrod?
10. Op en Range (2.7) - A
change of pace for Costner - a
movie that doesn't totally suck.
While herds of football fans
crowded StatedStreet on their way to
Saturday's football game against
Notre Dame, scalpers took advan-
tage of those students who hadn't
previously purchased what could
have been an $18.50 student ticket.
On the way to Michigan Stadium, it
is a seller's market and buyers
should be prepared to pay exorbitant
prices for a chance to watch the
Wolverines. The bigger the game,
the bigger the markup scalpers can
charge to the unfortunate fans who
are unable to obtain a ticket in
One anonymous scalper made
$150 just 20 minutes before kickoff
last Saturday. "Notre Dame is one of
the biggest games of the season, so
you know people are willing to pay
crazy amounts of money for a ticket."
Because ticket scalping is illegal,
the Ticket Committee has taken a
tough stance and is ready to dole out
penalties to offenders, including the
repossession of season tickets. Ticket
Services Director Marty Bodnar said,
"We reserve the right to revoke sea-
son tickets if we find that students
are selling their tickets for more than
face value. Students also have a
responsibility to make sure that they
validate tickets for non-students that
they may sell to."
Students who wish to sell their
tickets to non-University students or
family members must validate their
tickets by purchasing a $25 sticker
to be attached to the tickets they
intend to sell. The athletic ticket
office, the Michigan Union ticket
office, the Pierpont Commons
cashier's office and the cashier's
offices at the University's Dearborn
and Flint campuses are the five loca-
tions that sell validation stickers.
With the required $25 validation
sticker, the price of a ticket for non-
students is $43.50. Students cannot
validate their tickets on game day at
the stadium, but the Union ticket
office is open on Saturdays for those
wishing to validate tickets.
"Students can sell their tickets,
there's nothing wrong with that,"
Bodnar said. "But they have to make
sure that the ticket gets validated.
The bottom line is that we take
Scalpers may anxiously surround Michigan Stadium at every home game, but students trying to make a quick buck can face
repossession of their season tickets.
scalping very seriously. It's always
an issue that we look at."
He added that the main goal of the
Athletic Department is to be equi-
table in distributing tickets to the
Michigan community. "When stu-
dents graduate, they will want to
continue going to games," Bodnar
said. "We want to have season ticket
holders be people that truly want to
go to the game."
The new student ticket policy,
which went into effect last year,
mandates that all students show
their MCards at the entrance of the
Michigan Stadium. However, many
ticket scalpers said the policy hasn't
significantly affected their scalping.
"The people that buy my tickets
are usually students, so the policy
doesn't really change things," said
one scalper, who asked that his
name be withheld. "They just show
their I.D., and no one will know that
they didn't personally pay for the
While Michigan Stadium may be
able to seat more fans than any other
college football venue in America,
the number of people who want to
see the Michigan football team still
outnumbers the amount of seats.
Bodnar noted that the wait list for
season tickets this year numbered
12,000 people, and, he said "It isn't
fair that people who don't want to
be at the game are taking tickets
from those who do."
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