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2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Mafgaile - Thursday, September 18, 2003
Random student skates, hates the Irish
The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazia
A guide to who's where,
what's happening and why T eWe e d Ls
you need to be there..ThW e k n *s
By Scott Serilla
Daily Arts Editor
Roommate of Random: Hello?
The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Haley there?
RORS: Yeah, one sec.
TMD: Hey, Haley. This is The Michigan
Daily. You've been selected for our random
student interview. Would you like to partici-
R: Sure, but you keep fading in and out
TMD: It's a speaker phone. I'll try to be
loud. Let me know if you don't hear the ques-
TMD: So, what'd you have for dinner
R: Lasagna and salad.
TMD: How's that dorm lasagna?
R: It was good.
TMD: I'll take your word on that. So, do
you have a new roommate this year?
TMD: How's that working out? Did you
know her coming in?
R: It's going really well, but I didn't know
TMD: You went in blind? Dangerous.
R: Well, I'm from Utah and I didn't know
TMD: Ohhhh, Utah. Where abouts?
R: Park City.
TMD: Lot of skiing there. Do you ski or
R: No, I'm figure skater.
TMD: Oh yeah? Then what's a triple lutz?
R: It's a kinda jump with three revolutions
and you have to land backwards.
TMD: Oh, man, I better stick with the sal-
cow. Who is your favorite figure. skater?
R: Michelle Kwan. I think she's the best of
all time even though she never won an
TMD: Why did she never win?
R: I think she chokes.
TMD: OK, you have to have a major organ
removed? What's it gonna be?
R: Ummm ... my ... my spleen.
TMD: Oh my god. That is the correct
answer. You can definitely live without the
spleen. If you could be anyone of the Disney
Princesses, who would you be?
TMD: Why Cinderella?
R: She gets Prince Charming.
TMD: Good point. Everybody else got a
knockoff; she got the real Prince Charming.
Hey, do you remember when McDonald's had
the Shamrock Shakes?
R: Um, no.
TMD: They were like these green colored
milk shakes that would come out right around
St. Patrick's Day. Do you think Mickey D's got
rid of them because they hate Irish people?
R: Yeah, that's probably it.
TMD: What's your pick for ugliest building
R: The LSA Building with that ugly pink
TMD: Good choice. I'm obligated by law to
ask this next one. Ben and Jennifer: Who
broke up with who?
R: Jennifer Lopez broke up with Ben.
TMD: Really? The trade papers are saying
it went the other way around. Why do you
think J-Lo was the one who ended it?
R: She broke up with all those other guys.
Puffy and that Chris guy, the dancer.
TMD: Chris Judd? Is he related to the other
Judds? Winona and Ashley?
R: That would be funny if he was.
TMD: We'll look into that. So, in your
mind Ben equals deadweight. Who is Jennifer
gonna go for next?
R: Justin Timberlake.
TMD: She's going to steal him away from
Cameron Diaz? That's a cat fight I would pay
What's your pack animal of choice? You
have to cross the desert and you only get one
to carry all your stuff.
R: A camel.
TMD: One hump or two?
TMD: You're from Utah, so I'll skip the
obvious joke. That would be in poor taste. Can
you tell me about one of your dreams?
R: One that I have when I'm sleeping or
like a goal?
TMD: A sleeping one.
R: I can't think of one.
TMD: Make one up, no one will know the
R: OK, well, this is a real one. I have this
dream that I'm going to class and my teacher
is really mad at me. And she makes me write,
like, 500 words on the blackboard. And I don't
know what they are.
TMD: Just like random words?
R: Yeah. -
TMD: You know why you didn't know what
words they were? Because when you're sleep-
ing, you dream with the left side of your brain
and the right side of your brain is the one that
processes words and speech.
TMD: I made that up. What are you major-
ing in Haley?
R: I'm thinking about education.
TMD: Secondary or primary?
R: Primary. Kindergarten hopefully.
TMD: You want the really little kids huh?
I'll tell you this: some kid's gonna pee on him-
self. How are you going to deal with that?
R: I don't know ... send them to the office?
TMD: Haley, you are the first line of
defense, you got to know what to do with that
R: (laughing) I don't know.
TMD: I'm worried about you. You might
want to rethink this career thing. So, what
classes are you taking this semester?
R: Spanish ...
TMD: Which one?
TMD: Oh, good. So, you can translate this
for me: Yo necesito el vestido por mi mono.
R: (laughing) I have no idea.
TMD: It means 'I need the dress for my
monkey.' Let's try having a conversation and
we'll put it in the paper with no translation.
R: Um, OK.
TMD: (clears throat) Hola Haley!
TMD: Umm ... me gusta nachos.
R: Muy bien, me gusta nachos tambien.
TMD: Si ... that's all I remember. Hey,
what were you dong when I called?
R: I was working on an English paper. I
have to define a word.
TMD: What's the word?
TMD: Mmm, what are you redefining it as?
R: I'm not really sure.
TMD: You might be in' trouble. Which
brings me to the next question. What team do
you think is going to win the World Series?
R: I don't watch baseball; I'm a football
TMD: Oh. Did you go to the Notre Dame
game last week?
R: Yeah, I did. It was great.
TMD: In the stadium, when everyone was
chanting, "Fuck the Irish," did you chant that
R: I did.
TMD: Okay, well, I'm not going to print
that. Your Mom back in Utah will be mad if
she hears you swore.
R: It's OK. She won't read the paper.
TMD: Gee, thanks. We're on the Internet
you know, lots of people read online.
TMD: Before we go, I need a prediction for
the game against Oregon.
R: Michigan 20, Oregon 7.
TMD: Haley, thanks very much. Check out
the Weekend Magazine this Thursday for the
Anything Else Woody Allen's glory
days are past. But who in his right
mind could pass up a romance
between Wednesday Adams and
that goofy guy who gives pies the ol'
lovey-dovey. At Show case: 12:35
a.m., 12:40 p.m., 3:05, 5:25, 7:50,
Cold Creek Manor Didn't Sharon
Stone fade into oblivion? I just sure
as hell hope this isn't an honest
effort to drag herself out. At
Showcase: 12:25 a.m., 1:20 p.m.,
4:10, 7:20, 10:00.
The Fighting Temptations I'm
convinced that Beyonce's thighs of
thunder are filled with nothing
less than pure evil. The minx cor-
rupts every movie she's in. At
Showcase: 12:15 a.m., 1:10,51:40,
4:05, 4:35, 7:00, 7:30, 9:35,
Love the Hard Way Adrien Brody
is a goofy man, and I m frankly tired
of stories concerning an unstable
valedictorian who falls for some out-
law bandit because she thinks he's
cool. At Madstone: 1:00, 3:10, 5:20,
Second Hand Lions Michael Caine
and Robert Duvall are so charming.
Not to mention that "Sixth Sense"
kid. At Showcase: Noon, 2:20, 4:45,
7:05, 9:30, 11:50.
The St. Petersburg-Cannes
Express I'm leaving on that mid-
night train to Cannes, cause my
baby done left me. Not really, but
this sure paints a colorful picture of
St. Peters burg. At Madstone: 1:10,
3:15, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30.
Underworld So, I guess we've had
it all wrong: the aristocratic vampires
have been oppressing their wolrden
underlings. Those fanged bastards.
At Showcase: midnight, 12:30 a.m.,
12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 4:00, 4:30, 5:00,
6:10, 6:40, 7:40, 9:20, 9:50, 10:20.
At Madstone: 1:05, 3:30, 7:05,
Cabin Fever Peter Jackson was
a bum before adapting "Lord of
the Rings." My question to him:
why are you returning to your B-
horror roots when fantasy s been
so, so kind to you? At Showcase:
12:10 a.m., 12:40 a.m., 12:25 p.m.,
3:00, 3:30, 5:45, 7:45, 8:15, 9:55,
10:25. 2.5 Stars.
Dickie Roberts: Former Child
Star David Spade: Former halfway-
decent comedian digs himself into
an only deeper hole of big screen
botchery with Dickie. At Showcase:
12:10, 2:15, 4:25, 6:50, 9:00, 11:30
(Fri. and Sat.) 1 Star.
Finding Nemo I once flushed a
goldfish of mine down the toilet
... while he was still alive. It was
an accident, but maybe that's why
this movie has endeared me so. At
Showcase: 1:25 4.5 Stars.
Freaky Friday Wasn't Jamie Lee
Curtis part dude once? Now that's
the stuff good movies are made
of. The whole mother-daughter
body switch thing is OK, too,
though. At Showcase: 1:05, 3:15,
Freddy vs. Jason Didn't Freddy
already die? Well, Jason returned
from space a cyborg, so I guess
nothing's really off-limits here. At
Showcase: 12:10 a.m., 10:10.
Jeepers Creepers 2 A bus full
of basketball jocks shouldn't be
outmanned by a damned scare-
crow. Cowboy up, pansies. At
Showcase: 4:15, 9:30, 11:45.
The Magdalene Sisters The
Vatican's going to love this one.
And if they at least someone will,
right? At Madstone: 1:00, 4:00,
7:15, 9:40 3 Stars.
Matchstick Men I guess guys
with OCD are more entertaining
than I thought ... especially when
they're conmen with daughters. At
Madstone: 1:10, 3:40, 7:10, 9:35.
At Showcase: 12:05 a.m., 12:00,
1:00, 2:30, 4:20, 4:50, 6:45, 7:15,
9:15, 9:45, 11:35.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Have you heard those stories about
the mariachi with the guitar case
full of guns? Well, he's back, he's
still got his guns andeJohnny Depp,
sans eyes, joins him. Need I say
more? One small caveata, Enrique
is in this movie as well, but not
even his Latin pop lameness could
ruin it. At Madstone: 1:15, 3:20,
5:25, 7:35, 9:45 At Showcase:
12:25 a.m., 12:05, 12:35, 2:25,
2:55, 3:25, 4:40, 5:10, 5:40, 6:55,
7:25, 7:55, 9:10, 9:40, 10:10,
11:25, 11:55 (Fri. and Sat.).
Open Range Kudos to Kevin for
giving a damn about the fate of
westerns! After "Water World" it
wasn't like he could do any worse.
At Showcase: 1:50, 7:35 3.5 Stars.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The
Curse of the Black Pearl I
don't know if Johnny Depp or
pirates are currently cool. 111 let
you, the readers, decide. (Editor's
note: Both pirates and Johnny
Depp are extremely hot right now.
This writer has been fired.) At
Showcase: 12:15 a.m., 12:30, 6:30,
9:25 4 Stars.
Seabiscuit Oh, I'm proud to be
an American, where at least I
know a gimp horse can race
again. At Showcase: 12:50, 6:35 3
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
Mmm ... Sylvester Stallone in 3-D
If only they would have
thought about this for
"Cliffhanger." Can you imagaine
John Lithgow's face in 3D? Now
that is worth seeing. At Showcase:
S.W.A.T. In his free time, Colin
Farrell enjoys growing a rough
beard, impregnating supermodels
and rivaling Charlie Sheen for the
most-women-slept-with record ---
Too bad he can't work similar mir-
acles with a badge and gun. At
Showcase: 12:40 a.m., 5:05,
The Swimming Pool Ouuhhh
... sexy Euro-thriller. Just don't go
in the baby pool, it's dirty in there.
No seriously the kids wear diapers
and everything. At Madstone:
1:00, 3:05, 5:10, 7:15, 9:25.
Dirty Pretty Things Intrigues
involving a Nigerian taxi driver in
London. Sounds good enough for
me. State Theater 7 &.9:45 p.m. 4
Le Divorce Kate Hudson, Meg
Ryan's proud successor, gives us
more romantic comedy th at we
cherish so little. State Theater 7 p.m.
Step into Liquid Blue Crush on
testosterone and minus the girlies.
Michigan Theater 7:15 & 9:30 p.m.
Swimming Pool Sexy, Euro thriller
ouhhh. State Theater 9:30 p.m. 3
DA'JA Quintet These guys break
all the rules of the Bird by having,
gasp, more than three people. Bird
of Paradise, 312 S. Main St 830
p.m. and 10:30 p.m. $20 (15 stu-
Detroit Symphony Orchestra:
Phantom of the Opera House
Along with performing selections
from Andrew Llo dWeber's 'The
Phantom of the Opera," the DSO
will also play the original soundtrack
of the 1925 silent film version while
the audience enjoys the movie. 8
.m., Detroit Opera House, $15 -
Los Gatos Has anyone else
noticed the way Subway is pullin a
Taco Bell and making up new Ita ian
food? What is a Chicken Pizziola
any way? Think about it. The Firefly
Club, 207 S. Ashley St., 5 p.m. $5.
The Paperboys Dude, I loved that
game. Remember when the kid on
the big wheel would run out at you?
Yeah, that was awesome. The Ark, 316
S. Main St. 8 p.m. $13.50. 761-1451.
American Splendor Everything
you could ask for in a flick about a
fledgling comic book artist.
Michigan Theater 7:15 & 9:30 p.m.
Dirty Pretty Things State Theater
7:15 & 9:45 p.m.
Thirteen Note to self: If a party
needs a lift, find teenage girls. At
State Theater: 7:00 & 9:30.
DSO: Phantom of the Opera
See Thursday, 8:30 p.m.
Inner Recipe Anyone else notice
that Ron Brooks doesn't play on
Thursday's anymore. Convenient,
eh? Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., 9:30
p.m. $6 ($9 under 21). 996-8588.
Wolf Eyes Don't think you can get
away from us by simply moving
your shows, Ronny. It's not that easy,
al. Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington
t. Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.
Chris Smither One of these days,
Ronny, this entire list is gonna be
about you. Whatcha think about
that, jazz boy? The Ark, 316 S. Main
St. 8 p.m. $17.50. 761-1451.
The Drummers of Taiwan A
compelling, seamless work of
rhythms, beat out on temple bells
gongs and drums, and movemer
'The Sound of Ocean" traces the
cyclical journey of water from drc
to stream, from river to ocean. Fr
8 p.m., Power Center, $14-$38; 7
-- - - 5.
ih an Theater
Thin gs Stat
(4:45), 7:15, 9:45.
Thirteen At S.U.N. (Sci
State Theater: Noncomrr
7:00, 9:30. ' conscious
has been <
Addison the advers
Groove Project Respected
Always, always, message,5
always'avoid ' ith rage
bands with the W ppe
word "project" and Talib K
their name. S.U.N. will
Seriously, name Athletic M
one good band, the Michic,
aside from the Free Show!
can't, can ya? Blind Pig, 208 S. F
St., 9:30 p.m. $7. 996-8588.
Thrall I wanted to make a War
3 joke here, but I doubt even th
two other dudes would think it w
funny. I know, it wasn't even fun
to me. Elbow Room, 6 S.
Washington St., Ypsilanti, 10 p.m
Frequency Did anyone see that
The Newest Jap
Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater: 668-8397; Quality 16: 827-2837; Showcase: 973-8380;
Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times at State Theater are effec-
tive for Saturday and Sunday only.