. .a ri IV -W lo 0 0 0 2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Mafgaile - Thursday, September 18, 2003 Random student skates, hates the Irish The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazia A guide to who's where, what's happening and why T eWe e d Ls you need to be there..ThW e k n *s By Scott Serilla Daily Arts Editor Roommate of Random: Hello? The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Haley there? RORS: Yeah, one sec. Random: Hello? TMD: Hey, Haley. This is The Michigan Daily. You've been selected for our random student interview. Would you like to partici- pate? R: Sure, but you keep fading in and out though. TMD: It's a speaker phone. I'll try to be loud. Let me know if you don't hear the ques- tions. R: OK. TMD: So, what'd you have for dinner tonight? R: Lasagna and salad. TMD: How's that dorm lasagna? R: It was good. TMD: I'll take your word on that. So, do you have a new roommate this year? R: Yeah. TMD: How's that working out? Did you know her coming in? R: It's going really well, but I didn't know her. TMD: You went in blind? Dangerous. R: Well, I'm from Utah and I didn't know anyone else. TMD: Ohhhh, Utah. Where abouts? R: Park City. TMD: Lot of skiing there. Do you ski or snowboard? R: No, I'm figure skater. TMD: Oh yeah? Then what's a triple lutz? R: It's a kinda jump with three revolutions and you have to land backwards. TMD: Oh, man, I better stick with the sal- cow. Who is your favorite figure. skater? R: Michelle Kwan. I think she's the best of all time even though she never won an Olympics. TMD: Why did she never win? R: I think she chokes. TMD: OK, you have to have a major organ removed? What's it gonna be? R: Ummm ... my ... my spleen. TMD: Oh my god. That is the correct answer. You can definitely live without the spleen. If you could be anyone of the Disney Princesses, who would you be? R: Cinderella. TMD: Why Cinderella? R: She gets Prince Charming. TMD: Good point. Everybody else got a knockoff; she got the real Prince Charming. Hey, do you remember when McDonald's had the Shamrock Shakes? R: Um, no. TMD: They were like these green colored milk shakes that would come out right around St. Patrick's Day. Do you think Mickey D's got rid of them because they hate Irish people? R: Yeah, that's probably it. TMD: What's your pick for ugliest building on campus? R: The LSA Building with that ugly pink paint job. TMD: Good choice. I'm obligated by law to ask this next one. Ben and Jennifer: Who broke up with who? R: Jennifer Lopez broke up with Ben. TMD: Really? The trade papers are saying it went the other way around. Why do you think J-Lo was the one who ended it? R: She broke up with all those other guys. Puffy and that Chris guy, the dancer. TMD: Chris Judd? Is he related to the other Judds? Winona and Ashley? R: That would be funny if he was. TMD: We'll look into that. So, in your mind Ben equals deadweight. Who is Jennifer gonna go for next? R: Justin Timberlake. TMD: She's going to steal him away from Cameron Diaz? That's a cat fight I would pay to see. What's your pack animal of choice? You have to cross the desert and you only get one to carry all your stuff. R: A camel. TMD: One hump or two? R: Two. TMD: You're from Utah, so I'll skip the obvious joke. That would be in poor taste. Can you tell me about one of your dreams? R: One that I have when I'm sleeping or like a goal? TMD: A sleeping one. R: I can't think of one. TMD: Make one up, no one will know the difference. R: OK, well, this is a real one. I have this dream that I'm going to class and my teacher is really mad at me. And she makes me write, like, 500 words on the blackboard. And I don't know what they are. TMD: Just like random words? R: Yeah. - TMD: You know why you didn't know what words they were? Because when you're sleep- ing, you dream with the left side of your brain and the right side of your brain is the one that processes words and speech. R: Oh. TMD: I made that up. What are you major- ing in Haley? R: I'm thinking about education. TMD: Secondary or primary? R: Primary. Kindergarten hopefully. TMD: You want the really little kids huh? I'll tell you this: some kid's gonna pee on him- self. How are you going to deal with that? R: I don't know ... send them to the office? TMD: Haley, you are the first line of defense, you got to know what to do with that urine-soaked kid! R: (laughing) I don't know. TMD: I'm worried about you. You might want to rethink this career thing. So, what classes are you taking this semester? R: Spanish ... TMD: Which one? R: 232. TMD: Oh, good. So, you can translate this for me: Yo necesito el vestido por mi mono. R: (laughing) I have no idea. TMD: It means 'I need the dress for my monkey.' Let's try having a conversation and we'll put it in the paper with no translation. R: Um, OK. TMD: (clears throat) Hola Haley! R: Hola! TMD: Umm ... me gusta nachos. R: Muy bien, me gusta nachos tambien. TMD: Si ... that's all I remember. Hey, what were you dong when I called? R: I was working on an English paper. I have to define a word. TMD: What's the word? R: Love. TMD: Mmm, what are you redefining it as? R: I'm not really sure. TMD: You might be in' trouble. Which brings me to the next question. What team do you think is going to win the World Series? R: I don't watch baseball; I'm a football girl. TMD: Oh. Did you go to the Notre Dame game last week? R: Yeah, I did. It was great. TMD: In the stadium, when everyone was chanting, "Fuck the Irish," did you chant that too? R: I did. TMD: Okay, well, I'm not going to print that. Your Mom back in Utah will be mad if she hears you swore. R: It's OK. She won't read the paper. TMD: Gee, thanks. We're on the Internet you know, lots of people read online. R: Sorry. TMD: Before we go, I need a prediction for the game against Oregon. R: Michigan 20, Oregon 7. TMD: Haley, thanks very much. Check out the Weekend Magazine this Thursday for the interview. Films opening Thursday Anything Else Woody Allen's glory days are past. But who in his right mind could pass up a romance between Wednesday Adams and that goofy guy who gives pies the ol' lovey-dovey. At Show case: 12:35 a.m., 12:40 p.m., 3:05, 5:25, 7:50, 10:15. Cold Creek Manor Didn't Sharon Stone fade into oblivion? I just sure as hell hope this isn't an honest effort to drag herself out. At Showcase: 12:25 a.m., 1:20 p.m., 4:10, 7:20, 10:00. The Fighting Temptations I'm convinced that Beyonce's thighs of thunder are filled with nothing less than pure evil. The minx cor- rupts every movie she's in. At Showcase: 12:15 a.m., 1:10,51:40, 4:05, 4:35, 7:00, 7:30, 9:35, 10:05. Love the Hard Way Adrien Brody is a goofy man, and I m frankly tired of stories concerning an unstable valedictorian who falls for some out- law bandit because she thinks he's cool. At Madstone: 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:45. Second Hand Lions Michael Caine and Robert Duvall are so charming. Not to mention that "Sixth Sense" kid. At Showcase: Noon, 2:20, 4:45, 7:05, 9:30, 11:50. The St. Petersburg-Cannes Express I'm leaving on that mid- night train to Cannes, cause my baby done left me. Not really, but this sure paints a colorful picture of St. Peters burg. At Madstone: 1:10, 3:15, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30. Underworld So, I guess we've had it all wrong: the aristocratic vampires have been oppressing their wolrden underlings. Those fanged bastards. At Showcase: midnight, 12:30 a.m., 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 4:00, 4:30, 5:00, 6:10, 6:40, 7:40, 9:20, 9:50, 10:20. At Madstone: 1:05, 3:30, 7:05, 9:30. Films holding Cabin Fever Peter Jackson was a bum before adapting "Lord of the Rings." My question to him: why are you returning to your B- horror roots when fantasy s been so, so kind to you? At Showcase: 12:10 a.m., 12:40 a.m., 12:25 p.m., 3:00, 3:30, 5:45, 7:45, 8:15, 9:55, 10:25. 2.5 Stars. Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star David Spade: Former halfway- decent comedian digs himself into an only deeper hole of big screen botchery with Dickie. At Showcase: 12:10, 2:15, 4:25, 6:50, 9:00, 11:30 (Fri. and Sat.) 1 Star. Finding Nemo I once flushed a goldfish of mine down the toilet ... while he was still alive. It was an accident, but maybe that's why this movie has endeared me so. At Showcase: 1:25 4.5 Stars. Freaky Friday Wasn't Jamie Lee Curtis part dude once? Now that's the stuff good movies are made of. The whole mother-daughter body switch thing is OK, too, though. At Showcase: 1:05, 3:15, 5:30, 8:00. Freddy vs. Jason Didn't Freddy already die? Well, Jason returned from space a cyborg, so I guess nothing's really off-limits here. At Showcase: 12:10 a.m., 10:10. Jeepers Creepers 2 A bus full of basketball jocks shouldn't be outmanned by a damned scare- crow. Cowboy up, pansies. At Showcase: 4:15, 9:30, 11:45. The Magdalene Sisters The Vatican's going to love this one. And if they at least someone will, right? At Madstone: 1:00, 4:00, 7:15, 9:40 3 Stars. Matchstick Men I guess guys with OCD are more entertaining than I thought ... especially when they're conmen with daughters. At Madstone: 1:10, 3:40, 7:10, 9:35. At Showcase: 12:05 a.m., 12:00, 1:00, 2:30, 4:20, 4:50, 6:45, 7:15, 9:15, 9:45, 11:35. Once Upon a Time in Mexico Have you heard those stories about the mariachi with the guitar case full of guns? Well, he's back, he's still got his guns andeJohnny Depp, sans eyes, joins him. Need I say more? One small caveata, Enrique is in this movie as well, but not even his Latin pop lameness could ruin it. At Madstone: 1:15, 3:20, 5:25, 7:35, 9:45 At Showcase: 12:25 a.m., 12:05, 12:35, 2:25, 2:55, 3:25, 4:40, 5:10, 5:40, 6:55, 7:25, 7:55, 9:10, 9:40, 10:10, 11:25, 11:55 (Fri. and Sat.). Open Range Kudos to Kevin for giving a damn about the fate of westerns! After "Water World" it wasn't like he could do any worse. At Showcase: 1:50, 7:35 3.5 Stars. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl I don't know if Johnny Depp or pirates are currently cool. 111 let you, the readers, decide. (Editor's note: Both pirates and Johnny Depp are extremely hot right now. This writer has been fired.) At Showcase: 12:15 a.m., 12:30, 6:30, 9:25 4 Stars. Seabiscuit Oh, I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know a gimp horse can race again. At Showcase: 12:50, 6:35 3 Stars. Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over Mmm ... Sylvester Stallone in 3-D If only they would have thought about this for "Cliffhanger." Can you imagaine John Lithgow's face in 3D? Now that is worth seeing. At Showcase: 1:30. S.W.A.T. In his free time, Colin Farrell enjoys growing a rough beard, impregnating supermodels and rivaling Charlie Sheen for the most-women-slept-with record --- Too bad he can't work similar mir- acles with a badge and gun. At Showcase: 12:40 a.m., 5:05, 10:30. The Swimming Pool Ouuhhh ... sexy Euro-thriller. Just don't go in the baby pool, it's dirty in there. No seriously the kids wear diapers and everything. At Madstone: 1:00, 3:05, 5:10, 7:15, 9:25. CAMPUS CINEMA Dirty Pretty Things Intrigues involving a Nigerian taxi driver in London. Sounds good enough for me. State Theater 7 &.9:45 p.m. 4 Stars. Le Divorce Kate Hudson, Meg Ryan's proud successor, gives us more romantic comedy th at we cherish so little. State Theater 7 p.m. Step into Liquid Blue Crush on testosterone and minus the girlies. Michigan Theater 7:15 & 9:30 p.m. 3 Stars. Swimming Pool Sexy, Euro thriller ouhhh. State Theater 9:30 p.m. 3 Stars. MUSIC DA'JA Quintet These guys break all the rules of the Bird by having, gasp, more than three people. Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main St 830 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. $20 (15 stu- dent). 662-8310. Detroit Symphony Orchestra: Phantom of the Opera House Along with performing selections from Andrew Llo dWeber's 'The Phantom of the Opera," the DSO will also play the original soundtrack of the 1925 silent film version while the audience enjoys the movie. 8 .m., Detroit Opera House, $15 - S54; 313-576-5111. Los Gatos Has anyone else noticed the way Subway is pullin a Taco Bell and making up new Ita ian food? What is a Chicken Pizziola any way? Think about it. The Firefly Club, 207 S. Ashley St., 5 p.m. $5. 665-9090. The Paperboys Dude, I loved that game. Remember when the kid on the big wheel would run out at you? Yeah, that was awesome. The Ark, 316 S. Main St. 8 p.m. $13.50. 761-1451. Friday CAMPUS CINEMA American Splendor Everything you could ask for in a flick about a fledgling comic book artist. Michigan Theater 7:15 & 9:30 p.m. 4 Stars. Dirty Pretty Things State Theater 7:15 & 9:45 p.m. Thirteen Note to self: If a party needs a lift, find teenage girls. At State Theater: 7:00 & 9:30. MUSIC DSO: Phantom of the Opera See Thursday, 8:30 p.m. Inner Recipe Anyone else notice that Ron Brooks doesn't play on Thursday's anymore. Convenient, eh? Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., 9:30 p.m. $6 ($9 under 21). 996-8588. Wolf Eyes Don't think you can get away from us by simply moving your shows, Ronny. It's not that easy, al. Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington t. Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374. Chris Smither One of these days, Ronny, this entire list is gonna be about you. Whatcha think about that, jazz boy? The Ark, 316 S. Main St. 8 p.m. $17.50. 761-1451. THEATRE The Drummers of Taiwan A compelling, seamless work of rhythms, beat out on temple bells gongs and drums, and movemer 'The Sound of Ocean" traces the cyclical journey of water from drc to stream, from river to ocean. Fr 8 p.m., Power Center, $14-$38; 7 764-2538. Satu rda -- - - 5. CAMPUS CINEMA American Sendor ih an Theater 4,7:158&9:30 p.m. Dirty PrettyE Thin gs Stat Theater (2:15), (4:45), 7:15, 9:45. Thirteen At S.U.N. (Sci State Theater: Noncomrr (2:00), (4:30), 7:00, 9:30. ' conscious has been < MUSIC undergrou Addison the advers Groove Project Respected Always, always, message,5 always'avoid ' ith rage bands with the W ppe word "project" and Talib K their name. S.U.N. will Seriously, name Athletic M one good band, the Michic, aside from the Free Show! Alan Parsons Project. You can't, can ya? Blind Pig, 208 S. F St., 9:30 p.m. $7. 996-8588. Thrall I wanted to make a War 3 joke here, but I doubt even th two other dudes would think it w funny. I know, it wasn't even fun to me. Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington St., Ypsilanti, 10 p.m $5. 483-6374. Frequency Did anyone see that The Newest Jap Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater: 668-8397; Quality 16: 827-2837; Showcase: 973-8380; State: 761-8667. Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times at State Theater are effec- tive for Saturday and Sunday only.