0 0 IV -6 10B -The Michigan Daily - Wekeind Magazine - Thursday, September 18, 2003 ME WEEKEND ENTERTAINMENT ScoTT SERILLA - WHATEVER iT 6S, M AGASIT ME The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Ticket scalping remains a problem By Lauren Hodge Daily Arts Writer 9. I'M NOT COLLEGE MATERIAL Two big "N.E.R.D.s" -OP 10 1. Metamorphosis, Hilary Duff - I think I've got it figured out; she's Hilary Duff AND Lizzie McGuire. Right? 2. Loveg Life, Mary J. Blige - See Mary, I told you your reign at the top wouldn't last. I m a prophet. I've risen above the streets - 'cause that's what a prophet does. 3. Greatest Hits Volume HI And Some Other Stuff, Alan Jackson - Unfortunately, neither Greatest Hits Volume II nor "other stuff" includes "Chattahoochee." 4. Dangerously In Love, Beyonce - At least she's not safely in love, cause that would just be sill . 5. Fa Evanescence - Wh do you torment me by staying itle top 10? Why, why? 6. The Neptunes Present ... Clones, Vanous Artists - If they cloned Pharrell do you think he would just ditch ChadHugo, you know the other guy in the Neitunes? ..Jac, ot, Chingy - Bingo! Who says mop in the Re a' 8. A Rush Of Blood To The Head, Coldplay - With Gwyneth as his girl-toy, what head do you think Martin means? 9. Bad Boys II Soundtrack, Various Artists - P. Diddy really should have let Martin Lawrence dance in the video. Did you see "Girl's Best Friend?" 10. Get Rich Or Die Tyin, 50 Cent - Well, now that you have all bought his CD I guess we don't have to worry about the die tryin' part. 'm sitting in discussion, scribbling this in the corner when I should be listening to the insights of others. Technically, I can still hear them of course, but frankly, I lost track of what was going on awhile ago. Everybody's voices sound distant and dissipated, like I'm standing at the mouth of a cave. Wait - did I mention I'm graduating? That's really the first thing, should start there. OK, so due to various AP credits, summer classes and flukes of bad planning, I'll be ready to graduate by the end of this term. So, for me, college is pretty much, as the French say, "le kaiput' (they're not as poetic as y au've' been led to believe). This is probably insignificant to you, but nothin sh )rt of serendipitous from the perspective of my parents, nct an inch below tragic to friends and an indefinite mix of the two for yours truly. I guess that brings us back to this anonymous classocm where I'm writing. It's altogether likely you're sitting in one right now, reading this while ignoring the professor / GSIs I your more ambitious peers discussing the lectur,;s we should have attended and the books we should have read. I'm making this sound like I never pay attention, which isn't true, but whether or not I end up pontificating or transcribing the pontifications of others, it's bottom-line time - I'm getting sick of it either way. I found the title of this columnnin a notebook from fresh- man year. I was searching for a long. lost syllabus to con- vince our Political Science department that I didn't need to retake a prerequisite, and I found those words scribbled in the margins of lecture notes dated from three years ago. Hard to say precisely what I meant then. Maybe it was just a general feeling of being overwhelmed (Hey fresh- man! If you're not liking college yet, don't let it drive you insane. Your parents, teachers and the University haven't mentioned it, but the first couple weeks, hell months, will suck for lots of you. Hated high school? Coming hered won't instantly solve any problems kiddos. Speaking of problems, why am I still writing in paraphrases?) I may have not meant it seriously at all, or maybe it was a moment of being over dramatic and grumpy. I might have been just been getting sick of Academia and the sometimes stifling, contentious world that surrounds it. Too many indifferent professors and bitter GSIs wrapped up in their own studies and fostering a "safe, open learn- ing space" to teach anything. I wouldn't doubt that I feeling bitter myself, possible about the sunny optimism and lemming-like careerism of other students. I didn't know what I wanted to be then, have only a vaguer idea now of what comes next and a qui- etly smoldering resentment to people who have it all planed out. I guess I assumed college was going to be a direct step- ping stone to the real world or at the very least the job mar- ket. I'm not particularly better connected to either one than I was leaving high school. I have got a better sense of what I'd like to do with my life, but mainly via the process of elimi- nation, from figuring out what I can't stomach rather than what I love. Maybe Im actually worse off than I was leaving high school, cause I don't have any delusions of heading off to a utopian collegiate paradise after this graduation Regardless, the field's narrowed job-wise. I found vari- ous nitches and made some changes which made college an infinitely better place (find something outside the classroom froshes). But, sitting here now and staring out the window, I feel like I'm back to where I was when I jotted down that line: limbo. I don't feel like a belong here, and in a few short months the University will hand me a slip of paper to prove it. I won't be college material at all then; I'll be a product of college. Grim news indeed friends, especially since nobody seems interested in buying pre-packaged post-grads in the current economical climate. So anyways, I'll tell you my super secert plan to make everything alright. I've heard of a place for misfits like us where we won't be judged and won't be tearing at each other for scraps thrown down from profs.Where only what we know will be important and everything we learn will be practical. Where jobs will be thrown by the handful after I'm ready to leave. Kids I'm going to - GRAD SCHOOL! HURRAH!! (Editor's note - As the author wrote these final words,, his entire class grew quiet. The author lept upon his desk and began a beautiful song about the benfits of grad. school. The class joined in the song, stnkingpre-rehearsed dance moves. Everyone everywhere on campus proceed to leave their gray classrooms and sing the praises of the mythical wonders of post-graduate education. All con- verged on the Diag, where ice cream, pony rides and pink balloons were handed out. Mary Sue and a homeless guy did a big tap off for the finale. It was sweet) - Scott Serilla usually is much more pleasant when he isn't staring down a deadline. Email him and see for yourse f at sserilla@umich.edu- Courtesy ofh Oedipus ain't got nothing on me. WEEKEND BOX OFFICE Gross in millions of dollars 1. Once Upon a Time in Mexico (23.4) - Coming next, "El Mariachi" in 3-D. Because it worked so well for those damn "Spy Kids. 2. Matchstick Men (13.0) - I'm glad they didn't choose the title Lighter Lads, that would have been dumb. 3. Cabin Fever (8.6) - Forget a flesh-eating virus. A week alone with nothing but the H Illary Duff CD, that's cabin fever. 4. Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (5.0) - Do you think David Spade was a smug, unhap- py little man ... even as a child? y. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Peal (4.5) - Let's hear it for Johnny Depp for being in two of the top- 10 movies of the weekend. It must be because he is married to a Paradis. 6. Freaky Friday (4.0) - Why does this movie have a scari- er name than the one below it? 7. Jeepers Creepers 11 (3.0) - How do you convince anyone to see this movie, do you just not let them see the first one? 8. Seabiscuit (2.7) - Take him into the woods, so he can remember how to be a horse. 9. S.W.A.T. (2.7) - Seabiscuit Was A Terd. "Super Troopers" for- ever! Right, car ramrod? 10. Op en Range (2.7) - A change of pace for Costner - a movie that doesn't totally suck. While herds of football fans crowded StatedStreet on their way to Saturday's football game against Notre Dame, scalpers took advan- tage of those students who hadn't previously purchased what could have been an $18.50 student ticket. On the way to Michigan Stadium, it is a seller's market and buyers should be prepared to pay exorbitant prices for a chance to watch the Wolverines. The bigger the game, the bigger the markup scalpers can charge to the unfortunate fans who are unable to obtain a ticket in another way. One anonymous scalper made $150 just 20 minutes before kickoff last Saturday. "Notre Dame is one of the biggest games of the season, so you know people are willing to pay crazy amounts of money for a ticket." Because ticket scalping is illegal, the Ticket Committee has taken a tough stance and is ready to dole out penalties to offenders, including the repossession of season tickets. Ticket Services Director Marty Bodnar said, "We reserve the right to revoke sea- son tickets if we find that students are selling their tickets for more than face value. Students also have a responsibility to make sure that they validate tickets for non-students that they may sell to." Students who wish to sell their tickets to non-University students or family members must validate their tickets by purchasing a $25 sticker to be attached to the tickets they intend to sell. The athletic ticket office, the Michigan Union ticket office, the Pierpont Commons cashier's office and the cashier's offices at the University's Dearborn and Flint campuses are the five loca- tions that sell validation stickers. With the required $25 validation sticker, the price of a ticket for non- students is $43.50. Students cannot validate their tickets on game day at the stadium, but the Union ticket office is open on Saturdays for those wishing to validate tickets. "Students can sell their tickets, there's nothing wrong with that," Bodnar said. "But they have to make sure that the ticket gets validated. The bottom line is that we take i BRE:TT MOUNTAIN/Daily Scalpers may anxiously surround Michigan Stadium at every home game, but students trying to make a quick buck can face repossession of their season tickets. scalping very seriously. It's always an issue that we look at." He added that the main goal of the Athletic Department is to be equi- table in distributing tickets to the Michigan community. "When stu- dents graduate, they will want to continue going to games," Bodnar said. "We want to have season ticket holders be people that truly want to go to the game." The new student ticket policy, which went into effect last year, mandates that all students show their MCards at the entrance of the Michigan Stadium. However, many ticket scalpers said the policy hasn't significantly affected their scalping. "The people that buy my tickets are usually students, so the policy doesn't really change things," said one scalper, who asked that his name be withheld. "They just show their I.D., and no one will know that they didn't personally pay for the ticket." While Michigan Stadium may be able to seat more fans than any other college football venue in America, the number of people who want to see the Michigan football team still outnumbers the amount of seats. Bodnar noted that the wait list for season tickets this year numbered 12,000 people, and, he said "It isn't fair that people who don't want to be at the game are taking tickets from those who do." Ii Bikini Waxing Full Leg Waxing (Brazilian waxing available) Facials CLOSE TO CAMPUS WITH PLENTY OF FREE PARKING. To make anappointmentcall:913-5557 . ................ .................... ............. .... ................ .................. ............. ... .............. - ............... - - v.., - .......... ........... . . ................... ................ ........... NEWS IN ENTERTAINMENT HOT OR NOT? BAD BOY BABY - Irish hunk Colin Farrell has begun his ride on the Shawn Kemp express. The famous Hollywood man-slut finally pro- duced a little one. E! Television reported that Farrell's one-night stand of nine months ago, model Kim Bordenave, gave birth to a baby boy last Friday in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, the "S.W.A.T." star/new father could not be there on the joyous day, as he was "working" in Morocco on the set of Oliver Stone's "Alexander." While the hard-drinking Irishman has built quite a rep for shagging stars and quickly moving on, Farrell's -publicist announced that the actor could not be happier and looks for- ward to reuniting with his unnamed son and one-time partner. Farrell's long list of past sexual escapades includes Britney Spears, Demi Moore and about a thousand accent-loving groupies. P. DIDDY IN COURT ... AGAIN - The Associated Press recently report- ed that Miami-based cigar makers Moore & Bode Cigars filed a lawsuit against the hip-hop mogul earlier this week, claiming that Diddy illegally filmed their "secret process" of rolling cigars. The footage was even- tually used in the video for "Shake Ya Tailfeatha," the lead single off the "Bad Boys II" soundtrack. 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