4B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, December 5, 2002
The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine -
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
What's the worst present you have ever received?
E3
ELITE ENTERTAINMENT EXPOSIT
JEFF DICKERSON - SOMETHNG CLEVER
WHY IT SUCKS TO BE A FILMMAKER IN
THE 21ST CENTURY
"In my Christmas stocking when
I was 11I,the only thing in there
was a roll of Lifesavers.That was
the last year I got a stocking."
- Engineering senior
Cy Kim
"One year I asked for a puppy,
and all I got was a figurine of a
puppy. Doesn't that suck? So I
said F-you, mom!"
- LSA sophomore
Melissa Goldberg
"A pair of gardening gloves. I
don't even garden. They really
itched, so they weren't even good
gardening gloves."
- LSA senior
Shirley Nakash
"I got 'Hamlet' on tape ... in
eighth grade ... I also got a New
Kids on the Block shirt.'
- Kinesiology junior
Emily Schettenhelm
"Last year for Christmas, my
uncle sent me a red turtleneck
with 'U.S.A.' letters cut out in flag
material; glued on there. Outlined
in glitter puffy paint"
- LSA junior Abby Clark
"Someone took their watch off
their hand and gave it tome. It
was a cheap, ugly watch..
- LSA sophomore Nina Mahesh
Compiled by Graham Kelly
.,#
L
Up! Yoursi!
BILLBOARD
Top 10
1. Up!, Shania Twain - Did
you know her real name is
Samuel Clemons?
2. Now 11, Various Artists -
Pssst ... hey, do you know you can
hear all of these on the radio eleven-
ty billion times a day for free?
3. 8 Mile, Soundtrack -
Detroit sucks.
4. The Last Temptation, Ja
Rule - We're tempted to sew Ja
Rule's ass shut and keep feeding
him, and feeding him ...
5. The Blueprint 2: The Gift
and the Curse, Jay-Z - You
could make about half of a decent
album between the two.
6. More Than You Think You
Are, Matchbox Twenty - Aren't
these stock-rockers dead yet?
7. Audioslave, Audioslave -
Supergroup or high school band
challenge semi-finalists? Seriously,
that name is awful.
8. Under Construction,
Missy Elliot - Is it a misde-
meanor to suck?
9. Let Go, Avril Lavigne -
OK, we get it. You like ties.
10. Justified, Justin
Timberlake - Yo, what happened
to that No. 1 spot? Looks like that
hip-hop charade isn't enough to
save you.
Y esterday, while most of you were falling waste to mass of ores with a barrage of arrows. I
asleep in lecture, I was sitting in a plush the- saw "Fellowship" 10 times in the theater.
ater in Birmingham with two of my best Now let me tell you a little something about that
friends waiting to see what would be the best movie other fantasy film based on a popular literary series
of the year. Admission was free, the handicap parking that came outroughly at the same time. Prepare for
spot was secured and everything was shaping up for a a rant. "Harry Potter," the reigning champion of the
great cinematic experience. To my great joy, the the- over-hyped, over-rated and over-blown media, is
ater was only a third 'full, and those few that were in nothing more than bad combination of a Roald Dahl
attendance were the quiet type. The lights went down novel and "The Lord of the Rings." The box office
and the already hushed theater froze in complete (as well as home video)success of the first film in
silence. I gave my companions an.agreeing nod as the the "Potter" series is the best example of the sheer
images came on the screen at their usual 24 frames stupidity of the average American moviegoer since
per second. "Titanic," when hoards of teenage girls in braces
Three hours later the lights came back on. The went to see that supporting character on "Growing
silence remained for a few moments as the end credits Pains" freeze to death in the icy waters of the
finished their course. My pants were soaked and it Atlantic. OK, I'm done with my rant for now.
wasn't from the Coke I spilled halfway through the This year, the film calendar is eerily reminiscent
film in the midst of an epic battle sequence. I could of last year. Another "Harry Potter" film is out, and
tell from the drool on my colleagues' shirts that they it's just as disposableas its predecessor. 2002's ver-
shared the same opinion on the film. We had just seen sion of "Mulholland Dr." is Paul Thomas
"The Two Towers." Anderson's quirky romantic'comedy "Punch-Drunk
Yeah, that'; right, I have already seen the new "Lord Love," a great film that, despite all its wonderful
of the Rings" movie, and two weeks early at that.I qualities, will end up no higher than second place
won't ruin any of the movie for you (but Gollum looks once the year's top 10 list is calculated and drawn
oh-so incredible and the part when Gandalf returns is out. And the year is not even done. Martin
sweet), I'll just say that Peter Jackson's "The Two Scorsese's "Gangs of New York, Spike Jonze's
Towers" is simply the best movie of the year. "Adaptation" and Alexander Payne's "'About
Rewinding back to this time last year, I was only Schmidt" are all coming in the next few weeks, but
mildly excited for "The Fellowship of the Ring." I was despite early positive reviews, the best they can set-
more concerned with deciphering the cryptic plot of tle for is second place.
"Mulholland Dr." than seeing the first live-action It's tough to be a filmmaker in this day and age.
adaptation of Tolkien's fantasy novels. I had already No matter how good your movie is, it can't top
made up in my mind that my vote for movie of the Jackson's pitch-perfect fantasy series. It's like try-
year would be between 'the aforementioned ing to surpass Gretzky's 215 points in the '85-'86
"Mulholland Dr." and Wes Anderson's "The Royal NHL season; it just isn't going to happen.
Tenenbaums." Boy was I wrong. "The Fellowship of In one year, director Peter Jackson has gone from
the Ring" was not only the best film of 2001, but one cult-Aussie-unknown to mainstream-worldwide-
of the greatest films of all time. wunderkind, and all it took was one film. But when
I feel bad for other filmmakers, I really do. Take that single bit of cinema is the finest example 'of
David Lynch for example. Here is a director who filmmaking since 1994 when Tarantino finished
turned a failed TV pilot into his best film since "Blue "Pulp Fiction," you deserve such recognition. Next
Velvet," and if were any other year, "Mulholland Dr." year Tarantino returns with "Kill Bill," but I'm
would have snagged my personal best picture award. going to say it right now: "Return of the King" will
His surrealist take on the Hollywood system was be the best movie of 2003.
mind-bending, brilliant and entirely original. I saw it - Want to know what happens in "The Two
five times in the theater over the course of a few Towers? " Too bad, you'll have to wait until Dec.
weeks; I was captivated. But ultimately the stylish S8 when it is officially rleased. JeffDickerson can
film wasn't enough to best the sight of an elf laying be reached atjsdicker@umich.edu.
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WHAT'S NEWS IN ENTERTAINMENT
KEVIN SMITH LECTURES
DVD - The writer/director, kn
to most as Silent Bob, is relea
"An Evening with Kevin Smit
collection of question and an
sessions from his college lecture
cuit, a lucrative tour that Smith
calls hisdom
ON
sown
asing
h," a
"bread and butter." The DVD, which
contains several of the sessions, is
being released Dec. 17.
swer FRED DURST SETTLES 'ANGER
e cir- MANAGEMENT' LAWSUIT - MTV
reported that the Limp Bizkit front-
man has settled a $5 million bat-
tery lawsuit filed against him in
November 2001. Lighting
technician Connie Paulson
claimed that after a show
on the "Anger
Management" tour, Durst
threw a microphone at her
in a "fit of rage," break-
ing her nose, giving her
two black eyes and knock-
ing out one of her teeth.
Durst's lawyer called the
courtesy of view Askew incident "an unfortunate
accident," and expressed
his hope that "nothing like this will
ever happen again, to anyone." The
terms of the settlement have not
been released.
21 JUMP STREET: THE MOVIE?
- Paramount is working on a film
version of the popular series that
brought Johnny Depp stardom and
brought Richard Grieco ... well, "If
Looks Could Kill" was pretty good.
The Internet Movie Database report-
ed that Stephen J. Cannell and
Patrick Hasburgh, who created the
series, are working on a script for
the film, which does not yet have a
release date.
"21 Jump Street" appeared on Fox
from 1987-92 and followed the lives
of undercover police officers who
were sent back to high school to
crack down on crime.
kI
IHE U.j. ALL STAR
OF THE WEEK
LIAM GALLAGHER
The pugnacious Oasis singer was
charged with grievous bodily harm.
Gallagher, who was staying in a
Munich hotel, reportedly had a fight
with a group of Italians, and when
the police attempted to break up the
fight, he resisted arrest and kicked
one of the policemen. Gallagher lost
several teeth during the brawl, and
was released on bail.
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