4B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - Thursday, December 5, 2002 The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine - QUESTION OF THE WEEK What's the worst present you have ever received? E3 ELITE ENTERTAINMENT EXPOSIT JEFF DICKERSON - SOMETHNG CLEVER WHY IT SUCKS TO BE A FILMMAKER IN THE 21ST CENTURY "In my Christmas stocking when I was 11I,the only thing in there was a roll of Lifesavers.That was the last year I got a stocking." - Engineering senior Cy Kim "One year I asked for a puppy, and all I got was a figurine of a puppy. Doesn't that suck? So I said F-you, mom!" - LSA sophomore Melissa Goldberg "A pair of gardening gloves. I don't even garden. They really itched, so they weren't even good gardening gloves." - LSA senior Shirley Nakash "I got 'Hamlet' on tape ... in eighth grade ... I also got a New Kids on the Block shirt.' - Kinesiology junior Emily Schettenhelm "Last year for Christmas, my uncle sent me a red turtleneck with 'U.S.A.' letters cut out in flag material; glued on there. Outlined in glitter puffy paint" - LSA junior Abby Clark "Someone took their watch off their hand and gave it tome. It was a cheap, ugly watch.. - LSA sophomore Nina Mahesh Compiled by Graham Kelly .,# L Up! Yoursi! BILLBOARD Top 10 1. Up!, Shania Twain - Did you know her real name is Samuel Clemons? 2. Now 11, Various Artists - Pssst ... hey, do you know you can hear all of these on the radio eleven- ty billion times a day for free? 3. 8 Mile, Soundtrack - Detroit sucks. 4. The Last Temptation, Ja Rule - We're tempted to sew Ja Rule's ass shut and keep feeding him, and feeding him ... 5. The Blueprint 2: The Gift and the Curse, Jay-Z - You could make about half of a decent album between the two. 6. More Than You Think You Are, Matchbox Twenty - Aren't these stock-rockers dead yet? 7. Audioslave, Audioslave - Supergroup or high school band challenge semi-finalists? Seriously, that name is awful. 8. Under Construction, Missy Elliot - Is it a misde- meanor to suck? 9. Let Go, Avril Lavigne - OK, we get it. You like ties. 10. Justified, Justin Timberlake - Yo, what happened to that No. 1 spot? Looks like that hip-hop charade isn't enough to save you. Y esterday, while most of you were falling waste to mass of ores with a barrage of arrows. I asleep in lecture, I was sitting in a plush the- saw "Fellowship" 10 times in the theater. ater in Birmingham with two of my best Now let me tell you a little something about that friends waiting to see what would be the best movie other fantasy film based on a popular literary series of the year. Admission was free, the handicap parking that came outroughly at the same time. Prepare for spot was secured and everything was shaping up for a a rant. "Harry Potter," the reigning champion of the great cinematic experience. To my great joy, the the- over-hyped, over-rated and over-blown media, is ater was only a third 'full, and those few that were in nothing more than bad combination of a Roald Dahl attendance were the quiet type. The lights went down novel and "The Lord of the Rings." The box office and the already hushed theater froze in complete (as well as home video)success of the first film in silence. I gave my companions an.agreeing nod as the the "Potter" series is the best example of the sheer images came on the screen at their usual 24 frames stupidity of the average American moviegoer since per second. "Titanic," when hoards of teenage girls in braces Three hours later the lights came back on. The went to see that supporting character on "Growing silence remained for a few moments as the end credits Pains" freeze to death in the icy waters of the finished their course. My pants were soaked and it Atlantic. OK, I'm done with my rant for now. wasn't from the Coke I spilled halfway through the This year, the film calendar is eerily reminiscent film in the midst of an epic battle sequence. I could of last year. Another "Harry Potter" film is out, and tell from the drool on my colleagues' shirts that they it's just as disposableas its predecessor. 2002's ver- shared the same opinion on the film. We had just seen sion of "Mulholland Dr." is Paul Thomas "The Two Towers." Anderson's quirky romantic'comedy "Punch-Drunk Yeah, that'; right, I have already seen the new "Lord Love," a great film that, despite all its wonderful of the Rings" movie, and two weeks early at that.I qualities, will end up no higher than second place won't ruin any of the movie for you (but Gollum looks once the year's top 10 list is calculated and drawn oh-so incredible and the part when Gandalf returns is out. And the year is not even done. Martin sweet), I'll just say that Peter Jackson's "The Two Scorsese's "Gangs of New York, Spike Jonze's Towers" is simply the best movie of the year. "Adaptation" and Alexander Payne's "'About Rewinding back to this time last year, I was only Schmidt" are all coming in the next few weeks, but mildly excited for "The Fellowship of the Ring." I was despite early positive reviews, the best they can set- more concerned with deciphering the cryptic plot of tle for is second place. "Mulholland Dr." than seeing the first live-action It's tough to be a filmmaker in this day and age. adaptation of Tolkien's fantasy novels. I had already No matter how good your movie is, it can't top made up in my mind that my vote for movie of the Jackson's pitch-perfect fantasy series. It's like try- year would be between 'the aforementioned ing to surpass Gretzky's 215 points in the '85-'86 "Mulholland Dr." and Wes Anderson's "The Royal NHL season; it just isn't going to happen. Tenenbaums." Boy was I wrong. "The Fellowship of In one year, director Peter Jackson has gone from the Ring" was not only the best film of 2001, but one cult-Aussie-unknown to mainstream-worldwide- of the greatest films of all time. wunderkind, and all it took was one film. But when I feel bad for other filmmakers, I really do. Take that single bit of cinema is the finest example 'of David Lynch for example. Here is a director who filmmaking since 1994 when Tarantino finished turned a failed TV pilot into his best film since "Blue "Pulp Fiction," you deserve such recognition. Next Velvet," and if were any other year, "Mulholland Dr." year Tarantino returns with "Kill Bill," but I'm would have snagged my personal best picture award. going to say it right now: "Return of the King" will His surrealist take on the Hollywood system was be the best movie of 2003. mind-bending, brilliant and entirely original. I saw it - Want to know what happens in "The Two five times in the theater over the course of a few Towers? " Too bad, you'll have to wait until Dec. weeks; I was captivated. But ultimately the stylish S8 when it is officially rleased. JeffDickerson can film wasn't enough to best the sight of an elf laying be reached atjsdicker@umich.edu. -;- r ... .... ... . .......... .............. ............ ............. WHAT'S NEWS IN ENTERTAINMENT KEVIN SMITH LECTURES DVD - The writer/director, kn to most as Silent Bob, is relea "An Evening with Kevin Smit collection of question and an sessions from his college lecture cuit, a lucrative tour that Smith calls hisdom ON sown asing h," a "bread and butter." The DVD, which contains several of the sessions, is being released Dec. 17. swer FRED DURST SETTLES 'ANGER e cir- MANAGEMENT' LAWSUIT - MTV reported that the Limp Bizkit front- man has settled a $5 million bat- tery lawsuit filed against him in November 2001. Lighting technician Connie Paulson claimed that after a show on the "Anger Management" tour, Durst threw a microphone at her in a "fit of rage," break- ing her nose, giving her two black eyes and knock- ing out one of her teeth. Durst's lawyer called the courtesy of view Askew incident "an unfortunate accident," and expressed his hope that "nothing like this will ever happen again, to anyone." The terms of the settlement have not been released. 21 JUMP STREET: THE MOVIE? - Paramount is working on a film version of the popular series that brought Johnny Depp stardom and brought Richard Grieco ... well, "If Looks Could Kill" was pretty good. The Internet Movie Database report- ed that Stephen J. Cannell and Patrick Hasburgh, who created the series, are working on a script for the film, which does not yet have a release date. "21 Jump Street" appeared on Fox from 1987-92 and followed the lives of undercover police officers who were sent back to high school to crack down on crime. kI IHE U.j. ALL STAR OF THE WEEK LIAM GALLAGHER The pugnacious Oasis singer was charged with grievous bodily harm. Gallagher, who was staying in a Munich hotel, reportedly had a fight with a group of Italians, and when the police attempted to break up the fight, he resisted arrest and kicked one of the policemen. Gallagher lost several teeth during the brawl, and was released on bail. t r TUesday-Saturday Noon-7pmn 206 West Michigan Ave. Ypsilanti 734-484-9620 cutlineyy