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January 31, 2003 - Image 3

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The Michigan Daily, 2003-01-31

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The Michigan Daily - Friday, January 31, 2003 - 3


Yum, yum! Seniors award hottest Daily males

Carmen "Snow
White" Johnson to
marry J-Dick,
Meizlish, and Mr.
Quitter in hundred-
dollar wedding
Carmen "Snow White" Johnson has
given in to the countless hours of
courting by Daily Arts Editor Jeff
Dickerson, incoming Editor in Chief
Louie Meizlish and Daily quitter Tyler
Boersen and will marry all three this
While the four-some has a happy
ending, it wasn't always picture per-
fect. Johnson initially stood up
Dickerson on several occasions and
gave a chuckle and a no when asked
out by Meizlish.
Boersen spent weeks discreetly
visiting Carmen at her place of
work after his spiritual advisor, C.
Price Jones, would call him to tell
him Carmen was in the building.
Just days before the tri-engagement,
rumors were flying that Johnson
had met Boersen for coffee to bang
out the details of the engagement.
Despite political
differences, Cocks
falls for Peters,
wedding date still
to be announced
Former political rivals Mike Cocks
and Jeremy W. Peters yesterday
announced their intention of exchang-
ing vows this year.
The two traded barbs last year
when they ran against each other for
the post of state courier. Cox came
out on top in that race, but he and
Peters have apparently mended
Former loverboys
separate, Smith
goes afer the
ladies leaving
Dickerson sad
Daily arts lovers Jeffy Dickerson
and Lukie Smith announced their
separation yesterday.
Smith called off the commitment
ceremony when he realized he still
had a passion for the ladies.
While the two said they would
like to remain friends, JDick admit-
ted it will be tough to see Smith and
not be able to get down and dirty.
Haddad to wed
after two years of
bliss in grand
Jeremy Scott Berkowitz and Rabih
"Free" Haddad are pleased to
announce their wedding, which
occurred January 20, 2003 in a New
York square. Jeremy and Rabih, who
spent two tender years together, were
married in a tent underneath the stars.
The bride is currently a student at
the University of Michigan studying
political science and works part-
time as a reporter. He and the
groom formed a close working rela-
tionship when he was assigned to a
Chicago bureau and organized a sit-
down interview with Free, who was
temporarily serving time in jail.
Haddad has resumed a volunteer
position at the Global Relief Founda-
tion, following his acquittal early last

Mr. Don Shuelman officiated the
8 p.m. ceremony and opera music
was provided by UMGASS mem-
The bride wore a tight white suit
purchased at an expensive boutique
located slightly outside of New York
(most likely in Jersey) and slicked
his hair with a pot of coconut-scent-
ed pomade. His fraternity brothers
served as ushers and bridesmaids.
He didn't invite Jen.
Former rivals unite
despite racial,
ethical differences,
announce forbidden,
surprise passion
Education senior Agnes Aleobua and
LSA senior James Justin Wilson are
happy to announce their surprise elope-
ment to family and friends.
The two met more than three years
ago, when Aleobua and Wilson were
both rallying on the Diag.
Aleobua remembers she was
holding a sign that read "Integration
or bust!" while Wilson held a sign
that said1 "R AMN is Evii."

By The Fab Five
Daily Guy Experts

The irresistible charm of a Tennessee
accent. Bulging biceps. A gourmet
chef. Alternative flair, and a down-
home Kentucky upbringing highlight
this year's list of the 10 Sexiest Daily
Men. Though separating the men from
the boys posed a bit of an issue, voters
agreed - new wardrobes and person-
ality played major roles in the outcome.
"You see these guys day in and day
out, so they have to have something
original about them. Shopping at
Steve's just doesn't cut it after a while,"
said one news editor. "The quiet, mys-
terious ones totally won my vote. They
just seem so cute and innocent."
This element of mystery is some-
thing winner C. P. Jones said comes
naturally to him. "Women like the mys-
terious type. I like women. So I do
what I can to maintain my mystique,"
Jones said. When asked what the C
stands for, Jones replied, "I would tell
you, but then where would the mystery
be?" But don't let his words fool you.
This hottie packs some serious intel-
lectual muscle. He's a math major with
a fondness for Nabokov. In his spare
time, Jones dedicates himself to his
friends, helping those more lonely than

him discover how to become more
"They're my friends, and I don't
want for anyone to be alone. It's the
least I can do," said the Tennessee
"I've never met a guy who could pull
off wearing a baby pink shirt and actu-
ally look attractive, but C. Price never
fails," said one news reporter who
wished to be called Snow White. "Of
all the guys that I've met at the Daily,
C. Price just seems so ... alluring."
When it comes to the muscle of the
Daily, runner up Jonathon Triest makes
sure to strut his stuff at any chance he
gets. "Seeing Jon walk in wearing a
white t-shirt, jeans and a hat backward
makes a long night at the Daily seem
so much shorter. He's so suave and
truly is a sight for tired eyes," com-
mented former editor Ms. Green.
But despite Triest's looks, Green
said top-five pick Andy Taylor-Fabe
would be her pick for a night on the
town. "He just seems like such a gen-
tleman. He has that sort of laid-back,
carefree style about him, like he would
be totally satisfied cuddling on the
couch and watching a good movie,"
she said. "I love the side burns," she
added. A film buff, Taylor-Fabe enjoys
a calm lifestyle, which typically

includes drinking with friends at Ash-
leys, a quaint local bar. "I'm just not in
to that whole dress-to-impress thing. I
want people to see me for me, not
some carbon-copy, cliche artsy guy,"
Taylor-Fabe said.
Catching a midnight movie at the
State may not rank high on sports
writer Charles Paradis' list of late-night
activities, but the Kentucky-born junior
brings his own midwestern charm to
the top five. "I've never really seen
myself as sexy, but I guess if that is
what the girls say, then it must be true,"
Paradis said. "I didn't even own a pair
of jeans until last week." A house party
frequenter, Paradis spends most of his
nights at sporting events or out with
friends. "A lot of my friends are totally
in to the frat scene, but that has never
been for me. I'd much rather just watch
the Real World, play some beer pong
and chill with the guys,"he said.
Topping out the top five is the
debonair and quite as light as air Jeff
Dickerson, fondly known as Jdick.
"He has some of the strangest habits
- alphabetizing his cds, incessantly
cleaning - but those are what make
him so attractive," said a close friend
named Natalie, adding that it is Dick-
erson's romantic side that makes him
the cream of the crop. "He knows how

to make altredo, need I say more?"
Whether romantic or sporty, tall or
small, this year's top 10 Daily guys
seem to offer a bit of everything.
"It's really too bad GQ didn't look
to the males of 420 Maynard Street
when searching for their next cover
guy," Green said. "Hopefully they
learned to never judge a book by its


Brad Pitt gets
down, freaky
on wave field
By Shannon Pettmeplease
Daily Staff Reporter
It was a 'Pitt'iful site on North Campus yesterday after-
noon as Hollywood Hunk Brad Pitt shot a steamy love scene
for his new film, "Richard is Not A Part of the Male Anato-
my," in the Wave Field on North Campus.
Pitt said he chose to shoot the scene on North Cam-
pus for two reasons. First, his publicist told him that
no one on North Campus would recognize him because
only Engineers and Music School students live there.
Secondly, he was paid $50,000 in Starbucks bucks by
B. Joe White as part of B. Joe's North Campus revital-
ization project.
Pitt's prediction about not being recognized on North
Campus was true. While many engineers sauntered past the
movie set and full frontal Pitt, few even looked up to see the
For students who did look up and see the star few were
able to recognize him or identify who or what Pitt was.
"Pitt, that's funny, like arm pit or elbow pit," Engi-
neering junior Robert Bartz said as he sniffed his own
armpits. "I think I'll call' mine Bartz Pitts, they're
When Engineering senior Zena Patel was asked if she
know who the naked man having sex with the naked women
in the wave field Patel asked "I have what? Sex? Who is
Pitts' co-star Jackie Nixon said the Wave Field was the
perfect place for the scene adding that the rolling waves of
the field resembled the round firmness of Pitt's rear.
When the GQ man of the year heard that Pitt was on cam-
pus he immediately rushed back to his frat to pluck his eye
brows and fart before rushing to the wave field to give Pitt
some competition.1
Women dominat<
v idoames, mei

Pucker up, big boy

WOODY/Big Booty Hoes
With plenty of hours to spare, Daily Editor in
Chief Jon Schwartz will find time for more
important things.
"He may be married to Jennifer Aniston, but I'm married
to myself and I am GQ fabulicious!" GQ Man of the Year
There was a small protest against the movie shoot led by
Students' Against Stuff, who said they were protesting all
the stuff happening on North Campus.
"I hate it when I go somewhere and there is stuff happen-
ing. Can't we just end the stuff?" SAS ringleader Erin Petty-
piece said.

found slightly inferior

By Jackie Nickson (Cause the people
at this paper are really racist and
can't believe my last name is
Daily Staff Reporter
In what was once a male-domi-
nated arena, women are now emerg-
ing as a competitive force in the
world of video games, according to
a study released by the University
Hand-eye coordination specialist
Jane Utech said women have shown
more determination in the last year
to challenge men at their own game.
"Men created video games so
they could isolate themselves from
women. Originally that's why men
had sports to fall back on, but that
area was threatened when female
sportscasters came into the mix,"
Utech said.
University statistics show a sharp
rise in the last year when women
only dominated 60 percent of men's
Although men seem to have a
competitive edge because they have
been practicing longer, researcher
Alyssa Bean said it is very likely
that there will be a change in the
near future of the number of female
victories in competition.
By March, women will dominate
almost every type of video game,
Bean added.
"Sweet," LSA butt Luck Scoot said.
One duo of women has already
taken an active stance in challeng-
inga g ronn of men to a videoganme

but a boyfriend as well.
"It's the only way I could orches-
trate more time with my crush.
Hopefully I can sit across from him
during the meal," she said.
. However, she said if she doesn't
get a boyfriend, she believes the
challenge will prove beneficial in
finding a wealthy husband.
"Most likely my husband will like
video games, so I look at this as a
warm-up for my future," Scarlett said.
In pre-challenge practice one
competitor hurt his right thumb,
which he attributed to overworking
his hands.
"My controller wouldn't work,"
RC "devil" Babyface Bennett said.
"I forgot my controller at home and
I can't help it if the girls were so
stupid to buy this stupid Madcats®
controller. My shooter just wouldn't
shoot. I couldn't even get to the
weapon before I was shot down."
Bennett soon became speechless,
as he seemed to do each time he
lost to Scarlett.
Many men echoed Bennett's sen-
timents of getting shot down before
getting a chance.
"It's like playing against a couple
of retarded girls," Scoot said. "It's
totally tits."
Game officiator Chilli Paradise
finally agreed that the guys will domi-
nate the girls in the gaming environ-
ment and teach them countless
"Yeah yeah yeah," he said.
He stopped at a final "yeah"
when he realized hisc irlfriend was



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