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2B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magzine - Thursday, February 14, 2002
Random student has poor phone manners
The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magazine -
By Neal Pais
Daily Arts Writer
The Michigan Daily: Hello, is
Krystin there?
Random: Hi! This is.
TMD: I'm with The Michigan
Daily; you've been selected to partic-
ipate in Weekend's Random Student
Interview. Is that cool?
R: Umm, I'm actually heading out
the door. Can I pass it to my room-
mate?
TMD: OK.
(Girls giggle, switch is made)
TMD: Hey, how are you? What's
your name?
R: Jessica ... what is this exactly?
TMD: Well, you've been - er,
your roommate - was randomly
selected for an interview for the
Weekend Magazine, but now I guess
I have to talk to you. How does this-
make you feel, like in your loins?'
R: Uhh ... I don't really have an
opinion on that.
TMD: What are you up to? Did I
interrupt any debauchery?
R: Nope, just French.
TMD: Eww Well, here we go ... I
promise I'll be gentle.
R: OK:
TMD: What would you say the
sexiest animal is?
R: I'd say leopard.
TMD: What about sexiest veg-
etable?
R: Vegetable? Umm, the cucum-
ber.
TMD: What are your plans for the
weekend?
R: I think I'm going to a play with
a friend.
TMD: No partying? Aww, that's
F 1
Are You Feeling Sad or Blue?
Medication free women suffering from
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are needed for a 6-10 week treatment
study for depression. Participants will
receive free medication and clinic visits
during the study. For more information
call 936-8726.
sad; I think there's gonna be a party
in my pants.
R: OK, you're just scaring me.
What is this?
TMD: Haha, I was just kidding. I
told you - I'm from the Daily. So do
you have a boyfriend?
R: Yeah.
TMD: What do you think of
cooties? Do you think they'll become
chic again?
R: If you're five.
TMD: So, do you have any afflic-
tions?
R: Huh?
TMD: You know, like rickets or
something.
R: Not really.
TMD: I have insomnia. When I
can't sleep, I sit around naked and
smoke fancy cigarettes.
(Random hangs up phone.)
TMD: Dammit.
(Interview continues, new subject)
TMD: Hi, is Mina around?
R: Yup, right here.
TMD: Oh, hi, how are you? I'm
from The Michigan Daily. How
would you like to participate in a ran-
dom interview for the paper tomor-
row.
R: Sure, why not?
TMD: OK, so I have to tell you -
I'm starting from the middle of my
interview; I was talking to this girl
and I guess she just hung up on me.
She was a square. Pretty rude, huh?
R: Yeah, dude.
TMD: So, do you often think
about any deep philosophical issues?
What problems plague your mind?
R: Philosophical questions, eh?
Umm ... what happens when we die,
I guess.
TMD: Have you ever had an
epiphany?
R: Uh, no.
TMD: What about a psychedelic
experience?
R: Haha, sober or an drugs? Oh, it
doesn't matter - no.
TMD: What's the dirtiest feeling
you can think of?
R: I'd have to say swimming in my
own feces.
TMD: Yeah, that's gross. What are
you doing on Valentine's Day? You
got a girlfriend?
R: No, nothing special, no girl-
friend. Just chillin.
TMD: What kind of tunes do you
groove to?
R: Straight-up gangsta rap! Hey, is
this thing for real? Are you really
from the Daily?
TMD: Yes, I assure you, I write for
the Daily and this interview will be in
the paper tomorrow. What's your
favorite name for the penis?
R: Uhh ... Tim.
TMD: That's interesting.
R: Ha ha, actually, I like to call it
the Moneymaker.
TMD: That's interesting, too. OK,
I think we're about done here. So how
was it for you?
R: Good ... you're not gonna make
an ass outta me, are you?
TMD: Nah man, I wouldn't do
that. Was it erotic?
R: Definitely not..
TMD: Well, thank you for your
time, sir. Take it easy.
R: Yeah, take care.
The Endurance A retelling of Sir Ernest
Shackleton's ill-fated expedition to
Antarctica in 1914-1916, featuring
new footage of the actual locations
and interviews. Michigan Theater,
4:45, 7:15, 9:45 p.m.
Evil Dead See Friday. State Theater,
Midnight.
Gosford Park See Thursday. State
Theater, 2, 4:30, 7 & 9:30 p.m.
Monster's Ball See Thursday.
Michigan Theater, 4:30, 7 & 9:30 p.m.
MUS/C
The Afro-Rican Ensemble See Friday. 9
& 11 p.m., $15 ($10 for students).
San Francisco Symphony For this per-
formance, the SFS will be joined by the
UMS Choral Union in presenting two
Berlioz pieces, Six Traditional Hymns
and "Symphony No. 4" by Ives. 8 p.m.,
Hill Auditorium, $20-56; 764-2538.
Smokestack Funk and bluegrass col-
lide for an outstanding night of rock.
10 p.m., The Blind Pig, 208 S. First
St., $5; ($7 under 21); 996-8555.
THEA TER
You Can't Take it With You See Friday.
Landscapes of the Body See Thursday,
7 p.m.
Elizabeth Rex See Thursday.
Sunday
BOOKS
Feed the Poets Poetry reading; featur-
ing Steve and Deb Marsh this month.
Open mic readers welcome. 1:30 p.m.,
Del Rio Bar, 122 W. Washington, free;
761-2530.
past year's biggest Indie
finally hits Ann Arbor.
Theater, 445 p.m.
hits that
Michigan
Gosford Park See Thursday. State
Theater, 2, 4:30, 7 & 9:30 p.m.
Monster's Ball See Thursday.
Michigan Theater, 4:30, 7 & 9:30 p.m.
MUSIC
Uncle Earl CD Release Party Old-time
traditional farm kitchen music from
bluegrass sweetheart K.C. Groves and
sublime, bluesy guitarist Jo Serrapere,
with Lansing fiddler Tamineh Gueramy.
7:30 p.m, The Ark, 316 S. Main St.,
$11; 661-1451.
Phil Ogilvie's Rhythm Kings Almost as
smooth as the sweet duo of C-Webb
and Peja. 5 p.m., Firefly Club, 207 S.
Ashley St., $7; 665-9090.
From the Diary of Sally Hemings
Soprano Harolyn Blackwell performs
song cycles from "Hemings," a piece
composed by University professor
William Bolcom and written by Sandra
Seaton. Mezzo-Soprano Florence
Quivar will also take center stage with
"Honey and Rue," composed by Andre
Previn to a text by Toni Morrison. 4
p.m., Mendelssohn Theatre, $30-40;
764-2538.
THEA TER
Elizabeth Rex See Thursday, 2 p.m.
ALTERNATIVES
Women Who Ruled: Queens,
Goddesses, Amazons (1500-1650)
This new exhibit focuses on the repre-
sentations of powerful females during
the 16th and 17th centuries, a time
when numerous states and kingdoms
were led by women. Michigan Museum
of Art, 525 S. State, Free; 764-0395.
Monday
CAMPUS CINEMA
Amelie See Thursday. State Theater,
6:45 & 9:15 p.m.
Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly look to spend a night celebrating their Oscar
piece from 1973 starring Julie Christie
and the one and only father of Kiefer,
Donald Sutherland. Michigan Theater,
7 p.m.
Gosford Park See Thursday. State
Theater, 7 & 9:30 p.m.
Monster's Ball See Thursday.
Michigan Theater, 7:10 & 9:30 p.m.
MUSIC
"Avant Mondays: Still Life" mprov.
jazz highlighted by trumpeter Tal
Kopstein blowing the house down. The
Firefly Club, 207 S. Ashley St., $5;
665-9090.
ALTERNATIVES
Women Who Ruled: Queens,
Goddesses, Amazons (1500-1650)
See Sunday.
Tuesday
CAMPUS CINEMA
Adio Kerida A premiere screening fol-
lowed by a Q & A with the director.
Free Admission. MichiganTheater, 7
p.m.
Amelie See Thursday. State Theater, The Business of Strangers See Sunday.
1:45, 4, 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. Michigan Theater, 9:20 p.m.
The Business of StrangerstJulia Stiles
and Stockard Channing star in of the Don't Look Now The horror master-
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BOOKS
Laura Kasischke Signs Kasischk
signs copies of her new novel "The Lif
Before Her Eyes." 7 p.m., Nicola'
Books, 2513 Jackson, free; 662-411C
Sam Quinones Reads Quinones read
from his book "True Tales fror
Another Mexico." 8 p.m., Shama
Drum Bookshop, 315 S. State St
free; 662-7407.
CAMPUS CINEMA
Amelie See Thursday. State Theate
6:45 & 9:15 p.m.
The Business of Strangers See Sunday
Michigan Theater, 7:15 & 9:45 p.m.
Gosford Park See Thursday. Stat
Theater, 7 & 9:30 p.m.
Monster's Ball See Thursday
Michigan Theater, 7 & 9:30 p.m.
MUSIC
Blind Pig Showcase Night Open mi
featuring Gray, The Bandits Th
Original Heavy Hittaz and Twist o
Nothing. The Blind Pig, 208 S. Firs
St., 10 p.m., Free ($2 under 21); 996
8555.
Celtic Fiddle Fest Former Bothy Bar
member Kevin Burke highlights a nigh
of Irish fun only rivaled by a nighta
the Fleet Center. 8 p.m., The Ark,31
S. Main St., $17.50; 661-1451.
Timmy P's Tuesday Tickler Hilarious
stand-up comedy-with music on t[+
side. 10 p.m., The Heidelberg, $5.
A LTERNA TIVES
Women Who Ruled: Queen
Goddesses, Amazons (1500-1650
See Sunday.
Wednes.d,,,ay
BOOKS
Anthony Bourdain Reads Bourdain read
Dice-in & Carr-Oiut
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Ian McKellen looks to pull off even more magic by winning Best Supporting Actor for "The fellowship of the Ring."
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