0
.0
0 a
AV
w
16B - The Michigan Daily - Weekend Magaine - Thursday, February 14, 2002
Christian teaches seminar in puckering up
By Will E~Iachef
Daily Arts Writer
Cupid can riddle you with arrows this
Valentine's Day, but he's not going to
teach you how to kiss. What's a romantic
dinner worth if all you end up doing is
gagging your date with your uneducated
tongue? You ask, "How can I climb out of
this kissing canyon of ignorance?" Don't
despair, because there are two ways to get
yourself informed and educated on the art
of kissing.
1) Practice, and practice a lot. Over
time and through trial and error (and
hopefully not too erroneous an error)
you'll be able to gauge what your kissing
partner likes and dislikes.
2) Read this article. Don't panic if
you're a total moron at kissing and you're
going on your big Valentine's Day date in
a couple of hours. Lucky for you, the rest
of this article contains a crash course
taken from Michael Christian's seminar
"Kissing 101."
Michael Christian, who writes under
the name William Cane, has been writing
and lecturing about kissing for over a
decade. Tuesday at Eastern Michigan Uni-
versity's McKenney Union Ballroom, he
taught an audience of kissing-curious col-
lege kids the secret to lip locking.
This guy really did know his kissing.
Not only did he give insightful advice on
all aspects of kissing, he also had six cou-
ples behind him who volunteered to
demonstrate all the subtleties and varia-
tions of kissing. Nice. It seemed like some
of these volunteers were really anxious to
showcase their talents in front of an audi-
ence, so some of the demonstrations were
especially "demonstrative."
Christian had a lot to say about kissing,
but one thing he stressed the most to guys
was to kiss the neck. He said that girls
enjoy the neck kiss 10 times more than
guys, and it adds a sexy variety to the
usual lip-lip interaction. In many of the
testimonials, Christian read from his
book, "The Art of Kissing," In the book,
women cited the neck kiss as their biggest
turn on. One more time guys: KISS THE
NECK!
As for french kissing, Christian advises
to use circular motions inside the mouth
and to switch up the action to avoid being
repetitive. Also, don't use your whole
tongue, but instead just the tip of it. You'll
find that since the tip is especially sensi-
tive and can only taste sweetness, this
technique makes for an especially sensual
kiss.
Other quick tips for kissing are to whis-
JESSICA
These two students take Christian's Instructions a little too seriously.
per as you kiss your partner's ear. Not
cnly is the ear a great place to focus your
kissing, but the feeling of your breath
actually adds to the sensation, too. "The
reason they call them 'sweet nothings' is
because it really doesn't matter what you
say,"joked Christian. ?
Also, don't limit yourself to the tradi-
tional kisses. "The biggest misconception
of all is that there's only one way to kiss,
and that is a French kiss. There are thirty
kisses..." such as the vacuum kiss, the
biting kiss, the candy kiss, the public kiss,
and the lip-o-suction kiss. The idea here is
not to freak out your partner, but instead
to have fun and, if you're in a long-term
relationship, to spice things up a bit.
Maybe you're so inept at kissing that
you're more worried about what not to do
than how to do a good job kissing. Lucky
for you, Christian points out important
peeves. "The No. 1 complaint from
women is that 'I get too much tongue and
I get it too soon.' The No. 1 complaint
from men is 'they don't French kiss me
enough.' There's a definite difference
between the sexes."
Christian also had some advice for the
Valentine's Day date kiss. "If they're in a
long term relationship, they must go to a
new place to kiss, because it'll add excite-
ment to the experience ... Like the top of
a bridge. I don't know why, but lovers
find bridges exciting."
"If they're in a short term relationship,
the guy must be told not to do french
kisses. The girl must be told to open her
mouth a little wider and use a little
tongue," added Christian.
Whether you're making out on the
overpass over Washtenaw by the CCRB
or trying to find the perfect tongue/lip
balance, good luck to you. And may
God have mercy on your partner.
r.
wwwmfa.gov.iI-For breaking news and comprehensive up-to-date information
wwwisraelemb.org/chicago-Your Midwest UNK to Israel
srae is just a click away
For accurate information and commentaries about Israel and the Middle East
join the Israel Update e-mail service: contactus@chicago.mfa.gov.iI
The Consulate General of Israel to the Midwest I
cbe3p - 3 f-e
101.
Doesn't matter if you're dining in for a couple of
minutes or a couple of semesters, we'll keep coming around
with unlimited, free fresh-baked breadsticks.
Ask about our delivery options.
- - - - - - - - ------------------------------------------
I I
SPAGHETTIDOUBE DEAL$4.99
Includes two regular Spaghetti entrees with Marinara or Meat Sauce.
1 ~ext 1721
I I
AN RBR225WetSadim kd.btweO ietyad aks/Phn:3-638
i i
ONNe A iRB:24 tTStadium Blvd. (between tbqad ako)Poe 3-Z2
Oecoupon per person, per order at participating Fazoli's" Restaurants only. Not valid with any other offer. ExpIre: 3/1102
L----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- J