12B - M ichigan Da iiy - W dg nd , etc. M agaz e _Thurs , January 11, 20 01 *
LOST IN THE FUZZY ZONE
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The Michigan Daily - Weekend, etc. '
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CUTS FROM THE EDITING ROC
Anyone who's ever dated, been in a
.lationship or even watched a sitcom
has to relate to the "fuzzy zone" of a
relationship.
No, I'm not making a reference to
pubic regions,
so get your head
out of the ;ut-
ter. I'm talking
about when
you've dated
someone for a
little while and
ou're not sure
what your status
is. I'm talking
about all the
awkward intro-
ductions, "This
is my, er, friend,
um, boy/girl
friend, um, this
is (insert name
here)." i'm talk-
Lindsey
Alpert
Put Out or
Get Out
Well, for the benefit of all you Daily'
readers who I've come to love (ok,
maybe like would be the better word),
I've decided to do a little investigation
an the topic. I somehow stumbled
across www' getgirls.comn. Being not
particularly interested in how to get
any woman I desire, but wondering
about what men were being told in
terms of "meeting. attracting and
seducing single women," I came
across the fuzzy zone question in the
Tips of the Week section. And the
word given to men across the country?
Date women for no longer than a
month. If it's not going to work out,
end it, if it is, then ask for commit-
ment.
Of course, I had to ask some male
friends of mine, and they concurred
that a month was very often the cut-
off point. Although there are excep-
tions - some like to wait much, much
longer, and others enjoy the friend
with benefits aspect - many guys
feel that they're ready to settle down
after about a month of serious dating
-meaning at least a few times a
week. But, the important thing that I
learned about men is that they can
meet their dream woman, and if the
timing isn't right, commitment will
take a long time, if it happens at all. If
a male is ready for commitment, he'll
make it, if he's not, it doesn't really
matter if you're Catherine Zeta-Jones.
For females, the month marker
tends to be about the same as well,
although with females, the person
tends to mean more than the timing.
One of the best ways that a guy can
warm a woman up for commitment,
other than being Prince Charming, is
by getting in with her friends. If you
zan get one friend to say that he's cute,
or he's nice, or anything positive,
you've got one foot in the door.
So, if you're close to the month
point, have met the friends, talk a lit-
tle bit about the future and are clearly
in the fuzzy zone, how do you get out?
Does commitment have to be a verbal
agreement, or is it just somehow clear
without saving a word? And if you
don't have a verbal commitment and
you meet, flirt, hook-up with someone
else, are you cheating?
While the implied method does
happen, my research has found that
unless it's a verbal agreement, any-
thing goes. And while you still have
your freedom before the verbal com-
mitment is made, seriously dating
multiple people can get confusing.
And when you start slipping up on
names, can't decide who you like bet-
ter and can't give time to either party,
you'll probably just wind up by your-
self.
Thus, the best thing that prisoners
of the fuzzy zone can do is talk about
it. If this is someone that you're com-
fortable enough to make a commit-
ment to, you should be comfortable
enough to talk about your status. If
not, you might want to go look else-
where.
- Lin-se' A/pert is eager for com-
nients, questions, or aitn' ilfoIrmation
about when the guY she' dating is
going to commit. She can be reached
at lalpert(, umzich.ediu.
By the Daily Film Staff
)aily Arts Writers
Courtesy of 20th Ctu ; r; ,
Seann William Scott and Ashton Kutcher fail to entertain in "Dude, Where's My Car?"
ing about seeing a good-looking per-
son at a party and not knowing if
you're allowed to go up and flirt with
them or if it'd be considered cheating.
tie fuzzy zone, probably one of the
most fun vet difficult relationship
maneuvers, only exists because of
communication issues.
If you ask about commitment - a
word powerful enough to put fear into
the heart of even the gutsy Crocodile
Hunter - and your fuzzy zone partner
isn't ready, you wind up entering
another realm of fuzziness. If you ask
prematurely a second time, not only'
do you feel the tinge of rejection once
again, but your partner may also feel
like you're pushing the issue and make
them back off.
Then, if you don't ask, you're con-
-tantly wondering what your status is,
and feel awkward when any member
of the opposite sex looks at you. It
gets even worse when your parents ask
about your new "friend." So, you'd
think in this world of dating, which
has an even smaller instruction book
than life, that there'd be some kind of
guidelines. Like, go out six times,
meet three of each other's friends,
you're a couple. You've gone out six
times, but you spend more time in the
bed than talking, urn, not looking so
good. You've gone out once - if you
think you're together, get a clue. See.
Iow much easier this would make
things.
WORST
Continued from Page 5B
release of "Lost Souls" coincided
with the re-release of "The
Exorcist," a movie revered for its
creepiness and sheer horror that
"Lost Souls" attempts to achieve but
never comes close to. The characters,
like the rest of the movie, are a total
void and except for a few shudder-
worthy scenes, this movie will surely
fade away with the rest of the nonde-
script movies of this overdone genre
- 10f
N Mission: Impossible 2
Okay. I like dumb action movies as
much as the next guy and the motor-
cycle fight was pretty damn cool.
But seriously, if one more person had
pulled off their face to reveal that
they were someone else, I would
have killed myself. With Cruise star-
ring and the great John Woo direct-
ing, this could have been an explo-
sive masterpiece. Instead, I get
Anthony Hopkins reading the corni-
est attempt at a catchphrase in cine-
ma history. "Mr. Hunt, it's not
Mission: Difficult..."Yeesh - LHI
The Patriot
If only Mel Gibson would have rid-
den up to the Revolutionary troops
wearing red, white, and blue face
paint? This Sara Lee store-bought
apple pie filth could have made num-
ber 10 on my "best of" list - CC
The Perfect Storm
That a movie with such a talented
cast could turn out so awful can only
be blamed on its director Wolfgang
Petersen. Despitc its success at the
box-office. I still haven't met anyone
with a kind thing to say about the
film - MB
The Replacements
This movie has been done so many
times that I can't even begin to imag-
ine how someone green-lighted it.
Should I list a few'? "Major
League," "Necessary Roughness,"
the list goes on. It's full of cringe-
worthy dialogue that makes you beg
for mercy and cry for silence. And
why, for the love of God, is Orlando
Jones (the 7-UP guy) being hired for
movies? - ATF
Scary Movie
This parody of teen slasher movies
could have been 'good and Lord
knows that the recently resurrected
genre deserves a vood jab, but this
film is just as bad, if not worse, than
the films that it is making fun of.
Although it contains references to
many flicks, it is basically "Scream"
without anything remotely scary.
Just what we needed - ATF
* Screwed
Yeah, I know no one has heard of
this Norm MacDonald Dave
Chapelle epic about a couple of guys
who kidnap themselves so some rich
old lady pays lots of money and
Danny Devito is sort of a necrophe-
liac and I don't know. I guess it
serves me right for thinking "All of
Norm's other movies (i.e. "Dirty
Work") were so good, this has ,o be a
winner. Oh, and did I mention
Sherman "Amen" Hemsly in a
thong? - LH
When the clock struck midnight
on Dec. 31, 2000, many people felt
;he world would come to an end.
Apparently, the film industry was
counting on it. The past year has seen
more bad movies than mediocre
ones, and one big Battlefield Bomb
that some are calling the worst film
ever. If Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From
Outer Space" had come out this year,
it would have been in Academy con-
tention. So, without further banter,
we offer you our least favorites of the
past 365 days. Fnjoy
® Battlefield Earth
Ship this pure ciaematic trash into
hyperspace, headed straight for deep
freeze on the planet Iloth. File in
between junked space probes and the
Tauntaun dung receptacle. As the
ugly (we're talking dried snot on a
bathroom wall ugly) psycho TerI,
John Travolta goes for broke and
ends up with ... well. You saw the
numbers (and I don't just mean
"Lucky Numbers" either). Ruining
everything he built from "Pulp
Fiction" onward, Travolta better pray
to God (or maybe guru L. Ron) that
"Oceans I"' rides the high ti .;
Christopher Cousino
The Beach
Being a closet fan of Leonardo
Dicaprio, I wxas ecry excited to see
"The Beach." Mystery, action,
romance and adventure - Who
could ask for more? Unfortunately,
"The Beach" lacks in every aspect.
The film tries to embrace the feel of
"Lord of the Flies" mixed with a lit-
tle of "The Blue Lagoon" as well as
a dash of "Trainspotting." Sound like
a strange combination? It is. I rarely
ever want to stop watching a movie
and I was very tempted to with this
one because I didn't care -- about
the characters, about the movie and
where it was headed. We could only
hope that "The Beach," like Leo,
world wash away to sonic deserted
island never to be heard from a ain
-- Iilhelnina Aaur'itz
M Dr. T & the Women
With "Dr. T & the Women,
"Robert Altman has proven to be the
master of long boring films.
Moreover, Richard Gere is beginning
to rival Robin Williams for all time
worst career choices. Not only was
"Dr. T" a failure but his dramatic-
romance film, "Autumn in New
York." made us hope his name only
resurfaces with reference to gerbils
and vaseline - Leslie Boxer
Dude, Where's my Car?
This makes movies like "Road
Trip" and "American Pie" seem like
"Citizen Kane." Featuring dialogue
that would make Beavis and
Butthcad shudder, this film offers
almost nothing to make up for the
total lack of coherency. It's the kind
of movie that could ruin the profes-
sional reputation
dren's children's
Tailor-Fabuc
of an actor's chil-
children -- Andy
E Duets
Many of you may not recognize
the film "Duets." That is because it
was only in the theaters for about one
week. As it turns out it was one week
too many. "Duets" is about karaoke
singers and the power to heal that
lies in singing. The film is so unique-
Iv terrible that I can only assume
Bruce Paltrow bribed the studio to
release it. Regardless, any film that
uses, "I am different now I sing," to
mend a broken marriage must be
considered one of the year's worst
movies - if not one of the all time
worst movies ever - LB
Dungeons & Dragons
Worse than bad, this film was
insulting to everyone involved as
well as those nine of us that had to
see it. The film makes little sense. I
could have played a better villain
than Jeremy Irons and Marion
Wayans was a more insulting stereo-
type than Jar Jar Binks, but a good
deal more cartoonish. And what
about the ending? Did they run out
of film? Please God stay away from
"Magic: The Gathering!" - Li/e
H~enett'
Teri (John Travolta)
while their dad is dying. Yet
example of why actors si
direct. And Diane, what's v
gloves? - Matthew Barrett
The Ladies Man
Uh, yeah, what is Julianne
doing in this movie? - !1B
Loser
The first film ever to pre
critics by outright brandin
with the title "I suck." A she<
pointment, Amy Heckerling
shows that she has lost her
And she doesn't know a dan
about college kids, or how tI
Boring, unfunny and det
manhandle:
Hanging Up
Diane Keaton directs
this truly wretched tale
ters who bicker with
and stars in
of three sis-
each other
a h' <Ati
Hand holding can't always be taken as a sign that he'si
ready to commit.
U- - -
101 401
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A Fundrolser for
R
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iOAN
RAEZ
DAVID WILCOx
sAvE CARTIER a
mACY CRAMMER
WEAVERMANIA
CM! DUUAI!
S
S
S
RICHARD
THOMP ON
TODD ?iIDtE
IDDIE uO10
CONNIE KALDOW &
MITTWATUIM.(.1
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