6 - The Michigan Daily - SPORTSMonday - Monday, September 20, 1993
By KEN SUGIURA
DAILY SPORTS EDITOR
Remember that A-1 commercial with the guy who opened that hamburgers
were not "chopped ham, but chopped steak. And what is better on chopped steak
'The answer, of course, was A-I steaksauce, because it was the sauce for steaks.
Personally, I am of another opinion. I believe that, yes, hamburgers are chopped
ham, not chopped steak.
And what is more, there are plenty of things that go better on chopped steak
than some reddish-brown concoction named after a phrase used by New Yorkers
to get the attention of guys named Juan.
At any rate, in that pitchman's spirit, I posit this:
What is better in a World Series than two international teams, two ballclubs
from outside the United States?
As the baseball season winds toa climactic close and both Canadian teams find
themselves in pennant chases, I find myself spending every waking moment
contemplating the possibility of a Canadian World Series.
Can you imagine it? Anorth-of-the-border Fall Classic, between les Expos de
Montreal and the Toronto Blue Jays. Sure it's a long shot, but so was Menudo, and
thatdidn'tstopcountless Americans frompacking up all their worldly possessions
apd following them around the country, did it?
Oh, sorry. I was thinking of the Grateful Dead.
Who amongst us could not love an all-Canadian World Series? Sports reports
peppered with the use of the word "eh." Americans finally learning, once and for
all it's pointy end up on their flag.
Two proud weeks for famous Canadians Alex Trebek, Paul Shaffer and Peter
And my burning curiosity might finally be stated: Do Canadians refer to
Mexico as "way, way south of the border"?
Do you need more reasons?
1) Plenty of chances to see the MacKenzie brothers, Bob and Doug. Two of
.Canada's finest citizens, with a fondness for brew and an otherworldly knack for
capturing the essence of comedy.
Those CBS executives who survived their leaps out of tall buildings or failed
to down enough bottles of Tylenol following each team's League Championship
Series-clinching victory would have their hands forced.
In order to try to attract the viewership of disgruntled Atlantans, New Yorkers
and Chicagoans, they would have to employ the Canadian citizens most appealing
to Americans: les freres MacKenzie.
The network would air dozens of World Series promos featuring Bob and
Doug from the top of CN Tower, Bob and Doug in the Parliament, Bob and Doug
For Bob and Doug fans, it would be a true bonanza. If luck were truly on our
side, the Series would catalyze a sequel to Strange Brew, sending us all into
2)The world would descend upon bilingual Montreal, home to the 1976
Si vous ne pouvez pas ce lire, vous l'avez I' intelligence d'une chaussette.
Translated, this handy French phrase means: Which way to Olympic Stadium?
Laving the Fall Classic in Montreal would no doubt spur a language-learning
revival in this desperately monoglot nation of ours.
Instead of wasting hours a day playing Nintendo, kids would instead spend
their afternoons conjugating verbs and writing to pen pals Laurent and Pierre.
Baseball catalyzing the rebirth of foreign-language learning. Go figure.
3) Nightly renditions of the Canadian national anthem. Let's face it, America.
If national anthems were television programs, "Oh Canada" would be "Seinfeld"
while "The Star-Spangled Banner" would be something closer to "Mama's
Sure, I love America. I wasbomhere, raised here, andon agood day, I can name
nine of the original 12 colonies. But let's be honest.
To me, there is no comparison between a song about a flag and a song which
refers to its country as "the True North, strong and free."
Believe you me, it's Canada goosebumps every time. By the end of every
hockey season, it's all I can do to keep from turning in my passport.
And tell me this: What kind of word is "spangled?"
And what about Francis Scott Key? You talk about your one-hit wonders.
If our anthem were "God Bless America" or "America, the Beautiful," this
item would never have been, but since it isn't, item No. 3 it is.
Furthermore, before games they would probably sing both the French and
English versions of "Oh Canada" before each game. Refer to item No. 2.
4) With all the attention on baseball, distracted hockey team owners might be
suckered into a few more trades like Wayne Gretzky-for-tickets to Knott's Berry
5)Both my grandmother and my aunt and uncle's family live in Toronto.
There you have it, fellow citizens - in my mind, three compelling seasons to
root, root, root for the Jays and 'Spos.
It's only fair. They did sell us Alaska.
Eight Michigan sports teams have won the national
championship: baseball, men's basketball, football,
men's golf, men's gymnastics, ice hockey, men's
swimming, and men's tennis.
World Series be
By MICHAEL ROSENBERG
DAILY SPORTS WRITER
I would rather crowd the plate against Rob Dibble than watch an all-Canadian
I would rather mud-wrestle with Frank Thomas.
I would rather chew used tobacco.
Because, as a United States citizen, I view a Fall Classic north of the border as
an embarassment to our country, like disco music or Richard Simmons.
I know what you're thinking: I'm an ugly American just oozing with
xenophobia. But that's not it at all. I can deal with Canadians.
But baseball is an American game. And there a lot of good reasons to keep it
that way, such as:
1) The ballparks. One of the great things about baseball is its ballparks. Places
like Camden Yards and Wrigley Field are shrines to the game, to the fans, to life.
When you sit down in the Fenway Park bleachers on a warm summer day, there
is no place else you would rather be.
But Canada does not know from ballparks. Olympic Stadium in Montreal is
like an orange toilet bowl, but bigger, and without the amenities. Imagine taking
the worst part of every big-league stadium -artificial turf, ugly scoreboards, bad
viewing angles - and putting them together into one ugly excuse for a ballpark.
If a seven-year-old made a ballpark out of paper mache it would look better than
Toronto's Skydome, on the other hand, is a great place to visit, but I wouldn't
want to see a ballgame there. There are so many attractions that they add up to one
big distraction. The Blue Jays draw four million "fans" a year. But Skydome is
quieter than the UGLi on a Friday night.There must be something in the food at
the Hard Rock Cafe that makes people allergic to cheering. Even Jays outfielder
Joe Carter has complained that the fans aren't loud enough - and this is a man
who spent the first seven years of his career with Cleveland and San Diego.
2) The language barrier. I'mnot sure, but I heard arumor that they speak French
up there. There's just no excuse for this. French, you may recall, is also spoken in
France, a country full of people who think they're cooler than air conditioning.
French people always go mouthing off -in French - to foreigners, sometimes
starting world wars in the process.
I don't want my pastime played in a country that even remotely resembles
3) The anthems. While "The Star-Spangled Banner" is guaranteed to get you
so pumped up you could kill a Grizzly with your bear hands, "Oh, Canada" has
all the excitement of aPBS special on larva.Does anyone actually know the words
to this thing?
4) What the hell's an Expo? Someone who, long ago, was a Po? Sorry, but the
1967 World'sFairdoesn'thavemuchrelevance in 1993. (Then again, we have two
teams named after socks.)
5) The flags. While we have the awe-inspiring stars and stripes, they have a"
leaf. What's going on here? Can a whole country really rally behind a small piece"
of a tree? This must cause some serious self-esteem problems. That's probably
why the Canadian military couldn't out-fight our Salvation Anny. (Then again,
their military could probably figure out which way to fly our flag.)
6) Secession. The Canadian province of Quebec is, allegedly, going to break
away from Canada and form its own government. The American state of
California is, allegedly, going to break away from the United States and fall into
the ocean. The difference, of course, is that the Canadians want to stop this
7) No, I don't know what that last reason has to do with baseball.
That, in a nut shell and Cracker Jack box, is why an all-Canadian Word Series
would be the worst thing in sports since sliced 3-irons.
Will Expos Delino Deshields and Rondell White be celebrating like this in October?
Expos beat Phils, 6-5, to cut margin to four
The Montreal Expos, down to their
last at-bat against Philadelphia, got a
two-out, two-run single from Wil
Cordero in the ninth inning to rally past
the Phillies 6-5 Sunday andkeep the NL
East race close.
Williams (3-6) moved Montreal back
within four games of the first-place
A loss would have dropped the Expos
six games back with only 13 left in the
season, but they were helped by a key
error in the ninth. Montreal has won 22
of its last 26 games.
The Expos won twice in the three-
game series, their last against Philadel-
phia. Montreal missed a chance Satur-
day night, losing 5-4 when it left a
runner on third base with one out in the
ninth against Williams.
The Expos also trailed 5-4 in this
one heading into the ninth. But with one
out, Delino DeShields singled off Wil-
liams and stole second. Rondell White
Larry Walker followed with a sharp
John Kruk's chest. Walker slid into first,
barely beating Kruk's throw to Will-
iams. The error loaded the bases, but
Sean Berry - who flied out to end
Saturday's loss - popped up to Kruk.
Cordero, however, won it with a
grounder between third baseman Dave
Hollins and the bag. On Saturday,
Cordero's three-run homer in the eighth
began an Expos' rally.
Red Sox 8, Yankees 3
Frank Tanana's debut as a Yankee
was spoiled by shabby defense Sunday
and the Boston Red Sox took advantage
by beating New York 8-3.
It was a costly loss for the Yankees,
who began the day trailing Toronto by
three games in the AL East with two
weeks left in the season. They acquired
Tanana from the Mets on Friday hoping
for three quality starts.
Tanana, 7-16 overall this season,
gave it to them against the Red Sox by
giving up eight hits and four runs in
seven innings. The 40-year-old left-
hander was 4-0 against Boston last sea-
son when pitching for Detroit and had
been 18-9 versus the Red Sox.
Danny Darwin (15-11)gaveupthree
hits and one run in six innings for the
John Valentin had three hits and
drove in four runs for Boston with an
RBI double in the second inning, a two-
run homer in the fifth, giving the Red
Sox a4-1lead, and arun-scoring single
in Boston's four-run eighth.
Blue Jays 10, Twins 0
Toronto won its eighth consecutive
game and opened a four-game lead in
the AL East as Juan Guzman scattered
eight hits over eight innings Sunday,
leading the Blue Jays over the Minne-
sota Twins 10-0.
Toronto, which had a team-record
nine doubles by eight players, has its
largest lead this season, and afive-game
advantage in the loss column with 13
games to go. The winning streak is the
longest of the season for the Blue Jays.
Guzman (13-3) is 6-0 in 11 starts
sinceJuly20. He walked fourand struck
out four before Duane Ward relieved to
start the ninth. Guzman also tied Jack
Morris' 1987 AL record with his 24th
wild pitch, putting Dave Winfield on
third with one out in the fourth. But
Guzman escaped the jam by getting
Scott Stahoviak to pop up and Dave
McCarty to fly out.
Minnesota, which completed a 1-6
homestand, left 12 men on base and had
at least one runner in scoring position in
six innings but still was blanked for an
AL-high 13th time.
White Sox 3, Athletics 1
Robin Ventura's two-run homer off
Dennis Eckersley in the ninth inning
Sunday gave the Chicago White Sox a
3-1 victory over Oakland, the 14th vic-
tory in 21 games for the AL West lead-
The White Sox took two of three
from the A's in the weekend series.
Chicago now has day a41/2-game lead
With the score tied at one, Frank
Thomas opened the ninth with a single
off Eckersley (2-4) and Ventura fol-
lowed by driving a 1-0 pitch over the
center field wall for his 22nd home run.
Eckersley retired only one batter in
the ninth before being replaced by Roger
Smithberg. It was Eckersley's second
rocky outing in three appearances. He
blew a save Thursday in Minnesota as
well as allowing Dave Winfield's
ERA as he lost four consecutive deci-
sions since Aug. 13, struck out nine and
walked one. Ted Power finished for his
11th save, allowing an RBI single to
Mike Magnante (1-2) gave up four
runs and five hits in five innings, struck
out three and walked none.
Indians 12, Tigers 2
Mark Clark took ano-hit bid into the
seventh inning and Sam Horn, playing
only his second game this season,
homered twice Sunday as the Cleveland
Indians routed the Detroit Tigers 12-2.
Horn, who hadn't homered since
July 1, 1992, at Baltimore against Mil-
waukee, hit a solo shot in the second and
a two-run drive in the seventh. He drove
in four runs on the day.
Clark (6-4) allowed six hits, struck
out six and walked one in 81/3 innings.
He didn't allow a hit until Scott
Livingstone's infield single with one
out in the seventh. Clark came off the
disabled list Sept. 9 and hadn't allowed
arun in 22 innings before Lou Whitaker's
RBI double in the ninth.
BillGullickson (12-9) gave up seven
runs in three-plus innings. He is 0-3 with
an 11.40 ERA in four September starts.
Horn homered in the second and
Carlos Baerga hit an RBI double in the
third. In the fourth, Paul Sorrento tripled
in a run, Horn hit an RBI single, Bob
MacDonald walked Wayne Kirby on
four pitches with the bases loaded and
Mark Lewis hit an RBI groundout.
Baerga's sacrifice fly made it 7-0.
In the seventh, Sorrento hit an RBI
single, Horn hit a 450-foot, two-run
homer off Dave Johnson and Kirby hit
an RBI single. Maldonado singled in a
run in the ninth. Kirk Gibson hit a run-
scoring single in the bottom half.
Angels 9, Rangers 8
Rene Gonzalez hitathree-run homer
off Tom Henke in the eighth inning
Sunday, giving the California Angels a
9-8 victory over the Texas Rangers.
California rallied from an 8-6 deficit
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