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April 16, 1992 - Image 20

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Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1992-04-16
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Page 10-The Michigan Daily - Weekend etc.- April 16,1992

The MihhigbhDaily - Weekend et

I

Though we sometimes choose to
forget it, the University is the reason
that we're all here. The classes, the
functions, the protests, the rotten
food and high prices and the "mem-
ories that will last a lifetime." Some
of those memories might make you
feel a little more choked up than
others. The best of our true blue U.
Professor: Ralph Williams
Number one: You'll never fall a-
sleep in his classes; his ringing voice
keeps you awake. (If you're lucky
you'll hear his rendition of Britten's
"Canticle of Isaac and Abraham")
Number two: You'll be enter-
tained - how many professors click
their heels and dance in class, not to
aid mention show their vacation slides
of Chartres? Number three: He's
omniscient - you'll be jumping just
to keep it from going over your
head. Yea, verily!
Blow-off course: Health
Who can take a class that meets in
the CCRB seriously? And you won-
der how all University jocks manage
to graduate ...
Residence Hall: West Quad
If you had to choose between West

Quad and Markley which would you
prefer? Here's a clue: One is located
miles from where the action really is
and serves particularly nasty cafete-
ria food. The other is attached to the
Union where you can get late night
chow, attend parties (with your I.D.
on weekend nights), and have the
opportunity to be Jon Chait's neigh-
bor.
Michigan Athlete:
Desmond Howard (best)
Elvis Grbac (worst)
Was there ever a doubt? Sure the
"Fab Five" deserve a pat on the
back, but "Dez" stole our hearts and
stole the trophy. Not since Anthony
Carter has a Michigan athlete com-
pletely dominated a game or capti-
vated a capacity filled monster sta-
dium. As for the worst, Elvis de-
serves a little slack. Think about it.
Without all those lousy passes, "da
Man" wouldn't have been able to
make all those spectacular grabs.
Place to study: Grad Library
Yeah, it's better than the UGLi, and
there are cool frescoes in the reading
room, but the librarians are rude and
there's always some obnoxious loser

Tropical plants make Angell Hall the place to socialize.

PUL "

who just won't shut up. For a
change, try the Law, the Tappan
Library or Drake's. Sip tea, eat crys-
tallized ginger and smoke Gauloises
while you cram.
Cause: Hash Bash (best)
Deputization (worst)
Great choice, considering that three-
quarters of the people who turn up
are total poseurs who come to watch
the few who actually light up a doo-
bie. You'll share company with
Michigan wannabees - high school
students and folks from other planets
who only show up for this spring-
time ritual. While inspiring, this
movement can't compare to the
Corey Dolgon sing-alongs of last
year's anti-deputization protests.
Speaker: Spike Lee
It was unfortunate that it was "idiot's
night out" - many questions ranged
from "give me a job" to "come
speak at my school, Mr. Lee" - but
Spike handled it well, crushing the
people with whom he disagreed
while offering some insights into his
films. Let's hope we can believe his
hype for Malcolm X.
Computing Center: Angell Hall
Fluorescent lights, a mile-high ceil-
ing, loud games on the hard drive
and that comfy couch in the lobby
for those four-hour waits - love
'em or hate 'em, Angell will always
be the computing center.

"Local" mud-dwellers bubble over...
Ann Arbor's cultural mud can be better than enjoying a club sandwich with
Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love...
1. Slot, Cross Street Station, February 29, 1992. Feedbacking through the
whippets of romance smack dab into Black Sabbath and Judas Priest covers,
bedecked in a Kiss Destroyer jean jacket, a Can t-shirt, and assorted hats.
They were heavy. They were beautiful. Bag their Sympathy for the Record
Industry single, big time...
2. Mixolydian Slaves, et at., somebody's house party, March 21, 1992.
They were like AC/DC, Can, Melvin Van Peebles, the Pink Faeries, Crime,
and Funkadelic all rolled into one. Aren't you thrilled? Also performing
were the mesmerizing trance-rock instrumentalists Billy and the Zuma
fanclubbers known as Boy Dog Frog. You probably missed it. Sorry...
3 Wytchhyker, et al., the Halfway Inn, April 10, 1992. Boy Dog Frog and
Billy made appearances here, too, but the show belonged to openers
Wytchhyker. These behemoths raised a final "Beggar's Broast" before
retiring to what could be a very lucrative career in alcohol distillation.
Expect Snakebite brand malt liquor at a 7-11 near you this summer...
4. Bill Peterson, "Annabelle," some lonely, late night this semester,
WCBN. Burgeoning bedroom songwriter gets a makeshift recording of his
longing love ballad aired on merely the finest radio station you'll ever hear,
and that's all it takes to get one final date with the song's namesake. In a
perfect world, we'd all be happy... - Greg Baise

Top Seven List
1. Best Album: Thin Blue Lines by
Massive Attack is a smooth combi-
nation of soul, hip-hop and reggae
that makes you want to rush out, buy
a pair of Doc Martins and just stand
around being hep.
2. Most Misogynst Album of the
Year (perhaps decade): Lust by the
Lords of Acid. Just trust me on this
one. Unless you have no concept,
whatsoever, of the English language,
avoid it.
3. Best New Group: The Disposable
Heroes of Hiphoprisy are a politi-
cally charged hip-hop duo who make
PE's raps seem like nursery ryhmes.
4. (Still) Worst Concert Trend:
Overpriced tickets. If the University
knew that I paid $22.50 to see the
Pixies play for only 65 minutes
they'd probably yank my diploma
out of my hands in May.

The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, Michae
(right), opened for Billy Bragg at the Michigan

5. "What the?!": Michael Jackson.
I can't wait to say to my kids "Yeah,
I knew Michael when he was a
Black man."
6. "Who the?!": hell is Garth
Brooks?
7. Best Annoying British Alterna-

teen B
of the
Succes
Duders
Robin
to the i

p

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