0 0 0 Page 10-The Michigan Daily - Weekend etc.- April 16,1992 The MihhigbhDaily - Weekend et I Though we sometimes choose to forget it, the University is the reason that we're all here. The classes, the functions, the protests, the rotten food and high prices and the "mem- ories that will last a lifetime." Some of those memories might make you feel a little more choked up than others. The best of our true blue U. Professor: Ralph Williams Number one: You'll never fall a- sleep in his classes; his ringing voice keeps you awake. (If you're lucky you'll hear his rendition of Britten's "Canticle of Isaac and Abraham") Number two: You'll be enter- tained - how many professors click their heels and dance in class, not to aid mention show their vacation slides of Chartres? Number three: He's omniscient - you'll be jumping just to keep it from going over your head. Yea, verily! Blow-off course: Health Who can take a class that meets in the CCRB seriously? And you won- der how all University jocks manage to graduate ... Residence Hall: West Quad If you had to choose between West Quad and Markley which would you prefer? Here's a clue: One is located miles from where the action really is and serves particularly nasty cafete- ria food. The other is attached to the Union where you can get late night chow, attend parties (with your I.D. on weekend nights), and have the opportunity to be Jon Chait's neigh- bor. Michigan Athlete: Desmond Howard (best) Elvis Grbac (worst) Was there ever a doubt? Sure the "Fab Five" deserve a pat on the back, but "Dez" stole our hearts and stole the trophy. Not since Anthony Carter has a Michigan athlete com- pletely dominated a game or capti- vated a capacity filled monster sta- dium. As for the worst, Elvis de- serves a little slack. Think about it. Without all those lousy passes, "da Man" wouldn't have been able to make all those spectacular grabs. Place to study: Grad Library Yeah, it's better than the UGLi, and there are cool frescoes in the reading room, but the librarians are rude and there's always some obnoxious loser Tropical plants make Angell Hall the place to socialize. PUL " who just won't shut up. For a change, try the Law, the Tappan Library or Drake's. Sip tea, eat crys- tallized ginger and smoke Gauloises while you cram. Cause: Hash Bash (best) Deputization (worst) Great choice, considering that three- quarters of the people who turn up are total poseurs who come to watch the few who actually light up a doo- bie. You'll share company with Michigan wannabees - high school students and folks from other planets who only show up for this spring- time ritual. While inspiring, this movement can't compare to the Corey Dolgon sing-alongs of last year's anti-deputization protests. Speaker: Spike Lee It was unfortunate that it was "idiot's night out" - many questions ranged from "give me a job" to "come speak at my school, Mr. Lee" - but Spike handled it well, crushing the people with whom he disagreed while offering some insights into his films. Let's hope we can believe his hype for Malcolm X. Computing Center: Angell Hall Fluorescent lights, a mile-high ceil- ing, loud games on the hard drive and that comfy couch in the lobby for those four-hour waits - love 'em or hate 'em, Angell will always be the computing center. "Local" mud-dwellers bubble over... Ann Arbor's cultural mud can be better than enjoying a club sandwich with Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love... 1. Slot, Cross Street Station, February 29, 1992. Feedbacking through the whippets of romance smack dab into Black Sabbath and Judas Priest covers, bedecked in a Kiss Destroyer jean jacket, a Can t-shirt, and assorted hats. They were heavy. They were beautiful. Bag their Sympathy for the Record Industry single, big time... 2. Mixolydian Slaves, et at., somebody's house party, March 21, 1992. They were like AC/DC, Can, Melvin Van Peebles, the Pink Faeries, Crime, and Funkadelic all rolled into one. Aren't you thrilled? Also performing were the mesmerizing trance-rock instrumentalists Billy and the Zuma fanclubbers known as Boy Dog Frog. You probably missed it. Sorry... 3 Wytchhyker, et al., the Halfway Inn, April 10, 1992. Boy Dog Frog and Billy made appearances here, too, but the show belonged to openers Wytchhyker. These behemoths raised a final "Beggar's Broast" before retiring to what could be a very lucrative career in alcohol distillation. Expect Snakebite brand malt liquor at a 7-11 near you this summer... 4. Bill Peterson, "Annabelle," some lonely, late night this semester, WCBN. Burgeoning bedroom songwriter gets a makeshift recording of his longing love ballad aired on merely the finest radio station you'll ever hear, and that's all it takes to get one final date with the song's namesake. In a perfect world, we'd all be happy... - Greg Baise Top Seven List 1. Best Album: Thin Blue Lines by Massive Attack is a smooth combi- nation of soul, hip-hop and reggae that makes you want to rush out, buy a pair of Doc Martins and just stand around being hep. 2. Most Misogynst Album of the Year (perhaps decade): Lust by the Lords of Acid. Just trust me on this one. Unless you have no concept, whatsoever, of the English language, avoid it. 3. Best New Group: The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy are a politi- cally charged hip-hop duo who make PE's raps seem like nursery ryhmes. 4. (Still) Worst Concert Trend: Overpriced tickets. If the University knew that I paid $22.50 to see the Pixies play for only 65 minutes they'd probably yank my diploma out of my hands in May. The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, Michae (right), opened for Billy Bragg at the Michigan 5. "What the?!": Michael Jackson. I can't wait to say to my kids "Yeah, I knew Michael when he was a Black man." 6. "Who the?!": hell is Garth Brooks? 7. Best Annoying British Alterna- teen B of the Succes Duders Robin to the i p LIMITED AVAILABILITY TIME IS RUNNING OUT... TO LEASE YOUR APARTMENT FOR THE FALL OF 1992 ....".....r.----.--------------..-------..---------------."H We Don't Mimic Anyone Else! Hurry! Cal Today For A" SGreat Deal On AA.'S Bet Campus Apartments! LEASING NOWI FOR SUMMER AND FLL, (313) 761.8100 Located at 610 Church Street PRIVIE (313)761-8000 S T U D E N T H O UIS I N G.,I N C. *.......................................... .. 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