The Michigan Daily - Thursday, September 8, 1988-- Page 15
NOCTURNAL MISSIONS
Along Nlgt'
journey into day
thing other than "Rodent Kontrol"
on the bench at the East Quad heat
vent. Take care of your hygiene
needs by showering in the Diag's
sprinkler system. And for Antichris-
sakes, avoid those lines and buy
your Kinko's coursepacks now!
4:29 a.m. Food Break! Time
to restock your body with caffeine
and carbohydrates. Ann Arbor has
plenty of sources for those essential
liquids and solids. The Cloverleaf,
which caters to weekend insomniacs
by closing after lunch and reopening
at dark, is the best bet for real
greasy-spoon atmosphere and asy-
lum ambiance. If you don't mind
disposable plastic spoon sterility,
BY BRIAN JARVINEN
AND MIKE RUBIN
2:02 a.m. "Whaddya mean,
state law?!? I want a pint, and I want
it now, man!"
Nope. It just ain't going to hap-
pen, kid. A law is a law, and besides,
there's enough to do in Ann Arbor
when the sun disappears and the
bars close without invoking distilled
spirits. All you need is imagination,
determination, and most impor-
tantly, membership in the coffee
generation.
2:18 a.m. Start with the obvi-
ous: the Arb, the ideal location for
cross-country skiing and traying in
the winter or finding glow-in-the-
dark bugs in the spring. Steamy,
,-pitch-black summer nights make all
the foliage seem like an R.E.M. al-
bum cover to your weary rods and
cones. Remember, though, you
won't be alone. Everybody goes to
the Arb (and you can scare the
cheese out of all of 'em by
brandishing a flashlight like the Arb
Police). If you really want to get in-
timate with that special someone, try
Ann Arbor's version of "Inspiration
Point," a hilly lane in a subdivision
off Broadway near North Campus.
The view of the city is fine, but the
street is residential and the neigh-
bors get annoyed quickly, so don't
get too carried away.
2:41 a.m. Get your fiendish
fix of nocturnal necrophilia by
heading to Forest Hill Cemetery at
Observatory and Geddes. The mon-
uments are properly gothic and the
mausoleum is a good place for pa-
gan rituals, but the place is crawling
=with denizens of Ann Arbor high
schools. Be original and try hiking
along one of the various railroad
trestles to the north of town. Imagine
you're in Stand By Me, but without
any lights. Check the schedules in
the UGLi's Engineering-Trans-
portation Library to find the times of
hoppable freight trains (Amtrak
passenger trains are fatally fast) and
get bound for glory.
3:09 a.m. If you're still
thinking scenic, try zipping down
,Huron River Drive in your 'mobile.
There are a bunch of one-lane
wooden bridges, serene bodies of
water, a crystal-meth clear view of
the stars, and you might even find
yourself in Hell, Mich. (somewhere
between Pinckney, Lansing, and Sa-
tan). If you aren't into tri-county
traipsing, there's always Island
Park's mini-Monticello or Argo
Park's civil engineering fantasyland
for all you strolling somnambulists.
3:17 a.m. Beat the battering
heat of an Ann Arbor summer by
taking a daring dark-of-night dip in
Fuller Pool. Can't get over the
fence? Suuuure you can. Never
stopped Squeaky Fromme. It's a lot
harder to get caught than you might
think. While you're there be sure to
pay homage to the Pepsi Shrine, a
veritable beacon of a pop machine
whose hallucinatory shades of red,
white, and blue are visible from
Saline.
3:22 am. Speaking of Pepsi,
the coinless can take refuge at any of
the city's multitudinous mark-up
markets. The Catherine-Main Am-
oco has good burritos, but only
offers Mountain Dew in inferior
plastic bottles. The Plymouth-Huron
Parkway Total station has the cold-
est pop in town. All Shell installa-
tions permit you to put your
munchies on Mommy's credit card.
Hop-Ins, the poor rabbit's 7-11, al-
low you to rent your Rambo ration
to go along with your pork rinds.
There's always the old stand-by
Stop-N-Go, but remember that in-
ventory-time makes it Ann Arbor's
only 21-hour "24 hour" establish-
ment.
25 or 6 to 4 a.m. Prank
time. Climb up into the West Engi-
neering cupolas. Search Dental
School loading docks for near empty
tanks of nitrous oxide (N02). De-
scend into the hidden world of the
University's subterranean steam
tunnels. Warning: the only other
people bound to be awake at this
hour are those with no home to re-
turn to, novice WCBN d.j.'s, and
cops, so be careful. The ratio of po-
lice cars to civilian cruisers in the
middle of the night is staggering,
and since no one else is around to
see that your civil rights are re-
spected, you're likely to end up as a
year-end death-in-custody statistic
or sharing a double with Jimmy
Hoffa.
4:01 a.m. Get really creative.
You can be sure the Greek system is
asleep or passed out by this time, so
blow up the. Rock with plastic
explosives. Wander around the
mega-Medical Center and pretend
you're in Logan's Run. Ascend to
the top of a parking structure with a
tape of industrial-noise music
(Einsturzende Neubauten works
best) and skate the spirals of the
concrete beach. Spray paint some-
Grandma Lee's is the lysergic muf-
fin hut of choice, down to its
authentic Manitoba backwoods fire-
place and genuine Detroit backstreet
schizophrenics.
4:37 a.m. If you're looking to
bust out of Ann Arbor airspace, head
down Washtenaw into Ypsilanti
("land of value" in Huron Indian).
Abe's Coney. Island has all the new
Poison singles on its jukebox and
enough anti-narcoleptic neon to
keep even Library Science majors
awake. Dom. Bakeries is your wee-
hours source of apple fritters and
party favors. Of course, there's al-
ways White Castle for more tradi-
tional gastrointestinal distress, and at
this hour it's probably rid of the 1:30
a.m. Beastie Boy types who can
make you think you're still at Hill
and Oxford.
4:49 a.m. If you fell asleep
smoking, never fear, you can replace
anything in your abode of ashes at
Meijer's Shifty Acres. This retail
megopolis has everything a bour-
geois household might desire, from
canoe paddles to concrete. Just don't
try to bring your camera inside.
5:15 a.m. On the way back
from Ypsigreasi, beware of Evil
Pittsfield Township and its traffic
signals, specifically the In-a-Gadda-
Da-Vida length red-light at Hog-
back and Carpenter. The township
police suffer from unincorporated-
municipality-inferiority-complexes
and don't know anything about $5
substance fines or good relations
with University students.
5:59 a.m. Kroger sunrise. Get
your lamb chops while the rest of
the world rolls out ofbed. Every
lane is an express lane when the
checkout counter rooster crows.
Start/end your day with a cost-cutter
bonus-buy breakfast. Enquiring
minds can pick up a copy of a
tawdry tabloid to discover that all-
nighters are what killed Elvis. Prove
that you're smarter than he was/is
and get some sleep. Don't forget to
give your roommate an alarm-clock
kick before climbing in.
MIKE RUBIN/Daily
The wee hours of the morning usher in the dawning of a hard night's day.
L
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1
A Campus
Tradition
,'- O
College clothing styles
have changed but college
lifestyles haven't.
Problems like studying
late, a busy social
schedule, limited fin-
ances, and mass-
produced meals have
faced generations of
students.
For over 20 years
Domino's Pizza has been
delivering pizza to
campuses all across the
country.
Domino's Pizza has come
to the rescue and helped
millions of students get
through finals, term
papers, and even
graduation.
Be part of a college tradi-
tion and give us a call for
fast, free, 30 minute pizza
delivery.
3
f
or V
Commodore * Amiga " Atari ST
Amiga is a registered trademark of Commodore-Amiga, Inc.
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