The Michigan Daily - Thursday, September 8, 1988-- Page 15 NOCTURNAL MISSIONS Along Nlgt' journey into day thing other than "Rodent Kontrol" on the bench at the East Quad heat vent. Take care of your hygiene needs by showering in the Diag's sprinkler system. And for Antichris- sakes, avoid those lines and buy your Kinko's coursepacks now! 4:29 a.m. Food Break! Time to restock your body with caffeine and carbohydrates. Ann Arbor has plenty of sources for those essential liquids and solids. The Cloverleaf, which caters to weekend insomniacs by closing after lunch and reopening at dark, is the best bet for real greasy-spoon atmosphere and asy- lum ambiance. If you don't mind disposable plastic spoon sterility, BY BRIAN JARVINEN AND MIKE RUBIN 2:02 a.m. "Whaddya mean, state law?!? I want a pint, and I want it now, man!" Nope. It just ain't going to hap- pen, kid. A law is a law, and besides, there's enough to do in Ann Arbor when the sun disappears and the bars close without invoking distilled spirits. All you need is imagination, determination, and most impor- tantly, membership in the coffee generation. 2:18 a.m. Start with the obvi- ous: the Arb, the ideal location for cross-country skiing and traying in the winter or finding glow-in-the- dark bugs in the spring. Steamy, ,-pitch-black summer nights make all the foliage seem like an R.E.M. al- bum cover to your weary rods and cones. Remember, though, you won't be alone. Everybody goes to the Arb (and you can scare the cheese out of all of 'em by brandishing a flashlight like the Arb Police). If you really want to get in- timate with that special someone, try Ann Arbor's version of "Inspiration Point," a hilly lane in a subdivision off Broadway near North Campus. The view of the city is fine, but the street is residential and the neigh- bors get annoyed quickly, so don't get too carried away. 2:41 a.m. Get your fiendish fix of nocturnal necrophilia by heading to Forest Hill Cemetery at Observatory and Geddes. The mon- uments are properly gothic and the mausoleum is a good place for pa- gan rituals, but the place is crawling =with denizens of Ann Arbor high schools. Be original and try hiking along one of the various railroad trestles to the north of town. Imagine you're in Stand By Me, but without any lights. Check the schedules in the UGLi's Engineering-Trans- portation Library to find the times of hoppable freight trains (Amtrak passenger trains are fatally fast) and get bound for glory. 3:09 a.m. If you're still thinking scenic, try zipping down ,Huron River Drive in your 'mobile. There are a bunch of one-lane wooden bridges, serene bodies of water, a crystal-meth clear view of the stars, and you might even find yourself in Hell, Mich. (somewhere between Pinckney, Lansing, and Sa- tan). If you aren't into tri-county traipsing, there's always Island Park's mini-Monticello or Argo Park's civil engineering fantasyland for all you strolling somnambulists. 3:17 a.m. Beat the battering heat of an Ann Arbor summer by taking a daring dark-of-night dip in Fuller Pool. Can't get over the fence? Suuuure you can. Never stopped Squeaky Fromme. It's a lot harder to get caught than you might think. While you're there be sure to pay homage to the Pepsi Shrine, a veritable beacon of a pop machine whose hallucinatory shades of red, white, and blue are visible from Saline. 3:22 am. Speaking of Pepsi, the coinless can take refuge at any of the city's multitudinous mark-up markets. The Catherine-Main Am- oco has good burritos, but only offers Mountain Dew in inferior plastic bottles. The Plymouth-Huron Parkway Total station has the cold- est pop in town. All Shell installa- tions permit you to put your munchies on Mommy's credit card. Hop-Ins, the poor rabbit's 7-11, al- low you to rent your Rambo ration to go along with your pork rinds. There's always the old stand-by Stop-N-Go, but remember that in- ventory-time makes it Ann Arbor's only 21-hour "24 hour" establish- ment. 25 or 6 to 4 a.m. Prank time. Climb up into the West Engi- neering cupolas. Search Dental School loading docks for near empty tanks of nitrous oxide (N02). De- scend into the hidden world of the University's subterranean steam tunnels. Warning: the only other people bound to be awake at this hour are those with no home to re- turn to, novice WCBN d.j.'s, and cops, so be careful. The ratio of po- lice cars to civilian cruisers in the middle of the night is staggering, and since no one else is around to see that your civil rights are re- spected, you're likely to end up as a year-end death-in-custody statistic or sharing a double with Jimmy Hoffa. 4:01 a.m. Get really creative. You can be sure the Greek system is asleep or passed out by this time, so blow up the. Rock with plastic explosives. Wander around the mega-Medical Center and pretend you're in Logan's Run. Ascend to the top of a parking structure with a tape of industrial-noise music (Einsturzende Neubauten works best) and skate the spirals of the concrete beach. Spray paint some- Grandma Lee's is the lysergic muf- fin hut of choice, down to its authentic Manitoba backwoods fire- place and genuine Detroit backstreet schizophrenics. 4:37 a.m. If you're looking to bust out of Ann Arbor airspace, head down Washtenaw into Ypsilanti ("land of value" in Huron Indian). Abe's Coney. Island has all the new Poison singles on its jukebox and enough anti-narcoleptic neon to keep even Library Science majors awake. Dom. Bakeries is your wee- hours source of apple fritters and party favors. Of course, there's al- ways White Castle for more tradi- tional gastrointestinal distress, and at this hour it's probably rid of the 1:30 a.m. Beastie Boy types who can make you think you're still at Hill and Oxford. 4:49 a.m. If you fell asleep smoking, never fear, you can replace anything in your abode of ashes at Meijer's Shifty Acres. This retail megopolis has everything a bour- geois household might desire, from canoe paddles to concrete. Just don't try to bring your camera inside. 5:15 a.m. On the way back from Ypsigreasi, beware of Evil Pittsfield Township and its traffic signals, specifically the In-a-Gadda- Da-Vida length red-light at Hog- back and Carpenter. The township police suffer from unincorporated- municipality-inferiority-complexes and don't know anything about $5 substance fines or good relations with University students. 5:59 a.m. Kroger sunrise. Get your lamb chops while the rest of the world rolls out ofbed. Every lane is an express lane when the checkout counter rooster crows. Start/end your day with a cost-cutter bonus-buy breakfast. Enquiring minds can pick up a copy of a tawdry tabloid to discover that all- nighters are what killed Elvis. Prove that you're smarter than he was/is and get some sleep. Don't forget to give your roommate an alarm-clock kick before climbing in. MIKE RUBIN/Daily The wee hours of the morning usher in the dawning of a hard night's day. L HAIR AND NAIL SALON The Start of School Can Bring All Sorts of Pressures... " leaving home " test anxiety " family problems " substance abuse " peer pressure " suicidal feelings * relationship conflicts " roomate troubles " eating disorders " competition F Univerity Lutherain Chapel SUNDAY WORSHIP 10:30 a.m. 1511 Washtenaw Ave. (Between S. 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