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March 23, 1987 - Image 7

Resource type:
The Michigan Daily, 1987-03-23

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Monday, March 23, 1987

The Michigan Daily

Page 7

Boys: More shocking than beastiality

By Jon Casson
"Because you guys had to wait
in the fucking cold so long, we're
gonna give you a fucking better
show than we did last night!"
promised Ad-Rock of the Beastie
Boys to the crowd that had waited
in the streets in front of the Fox
Theatre for well over an hour
Saturday night.
It was incredible. It was un -
believable. Fishbone, the opening
act, had been cut off during their
second song and the crowd was
asked to leave by order of the fire
commisioner. At first the crowd had
thought this a joke but eventually
everyone filled out chanting "the
roof, the roof, the roof is on fire we
don't need no water let the mother
fucker burn, burn mother fucker,
I waited by the stage door with
members of Murphy's Law, the
other opening act, and Fishbone
watching the crowd made up of
members of every stereotype.

Metalheads, hard rocks, punks,
greeks, homeboys, and even parents
with their young children were all
waiting for the show to start in the
midst of fire engines, police cars,
and a news crew who arrived in
time for the show to start again.
Soon the curtain rose to reveal a
multi-level set on which waited
D.J. Hurricane and Eloise, the
tatooed go-go girl dancing in a
steel birdcage. After a mix of the
theme from S.W.A.T. and
Arrowsmith, the boys from
Brookyn ran on singing "Slow and
Low." As they ran about the stage,
bras were thrown to them by
admiring fans. Ad-Rock collected
them in a pile but stopped for a
moment to read a letter on one
adressed to MCA asking to give
back the leather jacket belonging to
the the former owner of the bra.
After telling her to forget it, MCA
announced that he wanted panties.
This was given immediate response
as a pair flew onstage.
The Boys continued running
around dodging undergarments and

spraying beer through the next
numbers but as they sang "She's on
it," MCA told the crowd that he had
enough with the underwear. "Look,
why don't you girls leave your
clothes down there and come up on
stage without them?" A shapely
blonde came up on stage much to
the band's surprise. Quickly Ad-
Rock told her that she didn't have
to take off her clothes but she was
more than willing when MCA
removed her shirt.
Another girl ran up to yell "I
want to fuck you!" to MCA. After
MCA told her he'd discuss it with
her later, Mike D appointed the first
girl in charge of getting more naked
girls on stage. Soon three girls
were dancing on the stage in their
The boys poured beer on them
and nearly made it with them
onstage while one of their friends
ran out from backstage to take
pictures of this. Before the final
encore of "Fight for Your Rights"
MCA cleared the mysterious big
black box at the center of the stage

The Beastie Boys, who rocked the Fox Theater Friday and Saturday
night, pose with talk-show legend Joe Franklin, who didn't take the stage
on this particular gig and probably wasn't even in the vicinity.

of cans and girls' clothes, taking
great care not to damage any of
them. Then the show came to a
climax. Three boys ignored the
girls and began to sing as the box
opened and ejaculated a twenty foot
high, fully erect penis. They
substituted "suck my dick" for any
appropriate line in the song and fled
the stage as soon as the song had
ended without saying any goodbyes
to their fans.
The looks on their faces revealed
that they knew, even with their
image as bad boys, that they had
gone too far. They had taken sex,
drugs, and rock 'n' roll beyond the
limits of good taste and as the
crowd filed out, their expressions
were more of shock than joy. I
wondered about the parents at the
show. I'm sure if any of it gets
back to the PMRC (the morally
self-righteous royalty), the next
stage the Boys will be playing is
the witness stand. Good luck, guys.
Michigan Daily
Printshops Of The Future
Open 7 Days
(2nd Floor)
Located at:IE


Family Skeletons
Henrietta Garnett
Alfred A. Knopf $15.95
Seventeen-year-old Catherine
spends an enchanted childhood at a
beautiful estate, Malabay, on a lake
in Ireland, writing idealistic fairy

tales. She has met exactly four peo -
ple in her entire life, including the
cook and the mailman. Obviously,
this type of upbringing doesn't pre -
pare Catherine very well for life in
the big city, or anywhere else, for
that matter.
Eventually, Catherine has more
problems than seclusion, and author


Continued from Previous Page

Henrietta Garnett tells us how she
responds to them in this classic sto -
Catherine's family skeletons
multiply as the plot wears on, and
boy does it wear. For example, her
reclusive Uncle Pake, of whom we
know nothing except that he spent
the war in a green cage, is not
really her uncle, Catherine's future
husband Tara is something more
than her cousin and Tara's friend
Gerald turns out to be more than a
On top of that, Catherine gets
more than her share of trauma and
ends up in an insane asylum with
her uncle's ex-wife Poppy, a relic
and an eccentric whose entire life is
made up of things that aren't ex -
actly what they appear to be.
If this sounds confusing now,
just wait; it gets even better.
She marries her cousin Tara, and
spends a blissful three weeks as a
wife, and a miserable couple of
years as a widow when Tara dies in
a boating accident on his birthday
that Catherine has the misfortune tq

witness. In addition, Malabay and
Uncle Pake are blown up by the
When the estate rug is pulled out
from under Catherine, she goes on a
wandering rampage marked by
periods of depression and even
sleeps with a 70-year-old blind
man. She finally commits herself
to an asylum.
While on Ward X, she finally
meets Poppy, who is not too tight -
ly wrapped. Poppy's idea of a good
time is watching the lunatics play
tennis, and that's how Poppy finds
Catherine. Poppy is at the asylum
for treatment of physical ailments,
not mental ones.
But wait, there's more.
Through Poppy, Catherine
meets Tara's friend Gerald, a writer,
and decides to marry him. During
her second marriage she discovers
that she was raped by her father,
whom she thought was her Uncle
Pake, that she is the product of an
incestuous relationship between
Pake and his sister, and also that

Tara was her half-brother.
In spite of the torrid plot, Hen -
rietta Garnett's debut novel is a
skeleton itself that needs a lot of
fleshing out. In order to explore the
personalities and relationships be -
tween the characters, the book
should be about twice as long, and
four times as involved. With ty -
pical British reserve, Garnett man -
ages to avoid putting the most
emotionally revealing scenes in the
book, leaving the characters two-
dimensional and readers hungry for
But Garnett's heritage may keep
her in good stead - she is the
grand-niece of Virginia Woolf. So
look for her second novel, it can't
be anything but better than the
first .
-Rebecca Cox

CALL REGENCY TRAVEL for low fares to
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Interested in biking across the country this
summer? Let's talk. Call Matt at 764-4875,
NURSING BOARDS '87\bBNursing stu-
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view sessions. The Kaplan enter offers a
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Call 662-3149
THE BAHA'I FAITH: God is one, man is
one, and all the religions are one.


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Keep currently informed of facts, trends,
health & prevention tips. A must for all
socially-aware individuals. $18 enrollment fee
includes membership card, information packet,
4 quarterly issues of "Awareness Information
Update." Mail check or money order to:
Suite 329
Box 5083
Southfield, MI 48086

Cocteau Twins
Love's Easy Tears
This is one of those rarest of
bands. Cocteau Twins' sound is of
a glorious little world all their own,
where chant-like incantations of diz -
zying, operatic vocals swirl above
patterns of crystalline guitar me -
lodies in their spacious echoes, an
chored by hypnotic lines of bass

and an elastic pulse-beat. The ethe -
real romanticism of this EP makes
for the closest thing in pop to a
music for Gothic cathedrals. One
listen to the possessive flourishes
of "Those Eyes, That Mouth" af -
firms why these charms defy all
comparisons - no one else can tap
into the exhilarating, closed-circuit
line to heaven on which this band
is wired.
-Michael Fischer

contest begins at 9 pm; $2.50 at door*
register your team in the Fishbowl Mon., Tues., Wed.
1st, 2nd, 3rd and door prizes awarded!!
*a// proceeds to Cystic Fibrosis Foundation
C>c #
v4 e
CJ A eU e

Struggling with Juggling Roles?
You are invited to attend a discussion of recent research
on role conflicts and coping strategies of
Dual Career Couples
With Dr. Rosemary Sarri, Eric Lang and Linda Beth Tiedje
March 24, 1987
7-9 p.m.
Kuenzel Room, Michigan Union


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