ARTS Monday, March 23, 1987 The Michigan Daily Page 7 Boys: More shocking than beastiality By Jon Casson "Because you guys had to wait in the fucking cold so long, we're gonna give you a fucking better show than we did last night!" promised Ad-Rock of the Beastie Boys to the crowd that had waited in the streets in front of the Fox Theatre for well over an hour Saturday night. It was incredible. It was un - believable. Fishbone, the opening act, had been cut off during their second song and the crowd was asked to leave by order of the fire commisioner. At first the crowd had thought this a joke but eventually everyone filled out chanting "the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire we don't need no water let the mother fucker burn, burn mother fucker, burn!" I waited by the stage door with members of Murphy's Law, the other opening act, and Fishbone watching the crowd made up of members of every stereotype. Metalheads, hard rocks, punks, greeks, homeboys, and even parents with their young children were all waiting for the show to start in the midst of fire engines, police cars, and a news crew who arrived in time for the show to start again. Soon the curtain rose to reveal a multi-level set on which waited D.J. Hurricane and Eloise, the tatooed go-go girl dancing in a steel birdcage. After a mix of the theme from S.W.A.T. and Arrowsmith, the boys from Brookyn ran on singing "Slow and Low." As they ran about the stage, bras were thrown to them by admiring fans. Ad-Rock collected them in a pile but stopped for a moment to read a letter on one adressed to MCA asking to give back the leather jacket belonging to the the former owner of the bra. After telling her to forget it, MCA announced that he wanted panties. This was given immediate response as a pair flew onstage. The Boys continued running around dodging undergarments and spraying beer through the next numbers but as they sang "She's on it," MCA told the crowd that he had enough with the underwear. "Look, why don't you girls leave your clothes down there and come up on stage without them?" A shapely blonde came up on stage much to the band's surprise. Quickly Ad- Rock told her that she didn't have to take off her clothes but she was more than willing when MCA removed her shirt. Another girl ran up to yell "I want to fuck you!" to MCA. After MCA told her he'd discuss it with her later, Mike D appointed the first girl in charge of getting more naked girls on stage. Soon three girls were dancing on the stage in their underwear. The boys poured beer on them and nearly made it with them onstage while one of their friends ran out from backstage to take pictures of this. Before the final encore of "Fight for Your Rights" MCA cleared the mysterious big black box at the center of the stage The Beastie Boys, who rocked the Fox Theater Friday and Saturday night, pose with talk-show legend Joe Franklin, who didn't take the stage on this particular gig and probably wasn't even in the vicinity. of cans and girls' clothes, taking great care not to damage any of them. Then the show came to a climax. Three boys ignored the girls and began to sing as the box opened and ejaculated a twenty foot high, fully erect penis. They substituted "suck my dick" for any appropriate line in the song and fled the stage as soon as the song had ended without saying any goodbyes to their fans. The looks on their faces revealed that they knew, even with their image as bad boys, that they had gone too far. They had taken sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll beyond the limits of good taste and as the crowd filed out, their expressions were more of shock than joy. I wondered about the parents at the show. I'm sure if any of it gets back to the PMRC (the morally self-righteous royalty), the next stage the Boys will be playing is the witness stand. Good luck, guys. Michigan Daily ARTS 763-0379 LAZERGRAPHICS' COPYING U PRINTING BINDING FORMS alpbHgraphiio Printshops Of The Future -COPIES Open 7 Days GRAND OPENING SPECIAL 663-6816 715 N. UNIVERSITY (2nd Floor) Located at:IE S. STATE & N. UNIVERSITY Books Family Skeletons Henrietta Garnett Alfred A. Knopf $15.95 Seventeen-year-old Catherine spends an enchanted childhood at a beautiful estate, Malabay, on a lake in Ireland, writing idealistic fairy tales. She has met exactly four peo - ple in her entire life, including the cook and the mailman. Obviously, this type of upbringing doesn't pre - pare Catherine very well for life in the big city, or anywhere else, for that matter. Eventually, Catherine has more problems than seclusion, and author CILAIJIIIIFIIIL AJ14 Continued from Previous Page Henrietta Garnett tells us how she responds to them in this classic sto - ry-line. Catherine's family skeletons multiply as the plot wears on, and boy does it wear. For example, her reclusive Uncle Pake, of whom we know nothing except that he spent the war in a green cage, is not really her uncle, Catherine's future husband Tara is something more than her cousin and Tara's friend Gerald turns out to be more than a friend. On top of that, Catherine gets more than her share of trauma and ends up in an insane asylum with her uncle's ex-wife Poppy, a relic and an eccentric whose entire life is made up of things that aren't ex - actly what they appear to be. If this sounds confusing now, just wait; it gets even better. She marries her cousin Tara, and spends a blissful three weeks as a wife, and a miserable couple of years as a widow when Tara dies in a boating accident on his birthday that Catherine has the misfortune tq witness. In addition, Malabay and Uncle Pake are blown up by the IRA. When the estate rug is pulled out from under Catherine, she goes on a wandering rampage marked by periods of depression and even sleeps with a 70-year-old blind man. She finally commits herself to an asylum. While on Ward X, she finally meets Poppy, who is not too tight - ly wrapped. Poppy's idea of a good time is watching the lunatics play tennis, and that's how Poppy finds Catherine. Poppy is at the asylum for treatment of physical ailments, not mental ones. But wait, there's more. Through Poppy, Catherine meets Tara's friend Gerald, a writer, and decides to marry him. During her second marriage she discovers that she was raped by her father, whom she thought was her Uncle Pake, that she is the product of an incestuous relationship between Pake and his sister, and also that Tara was her half-brother. In spite of the torrid plot, Hen - rietta Garnett's debut novel is a skeleton itself that needs a lot of fleshing out. In order to explore the personalities and relationships be - tween the characters, the book should be about twice as long, and four times as involved. With ty - pical British reserve, Garnett man - ages to avoid putting the most emotionally revealing scenes in the book, leaving the characters two- dimensional and readers hungry for more. But Garnett's heritage may keep her in good stead - she is the grand-niece of Virginia Woolf. So look for her second novel, it can't be anything but better than the first . -Rebecca Cox GOING PLACES CALL REGENCY TRAVEL for low fares to Europe, the Orient, and around the world. Ask about. Eurail and Britrail passes. Call 665-6122. Interested in biking across the country this summer? Let's talk. Call Matt at 764-4875, persistantly. MISCELLANEOUS NURSING BOARDS '87\bBNursing stu- dents can avoid the week long, 8hr. a day re- view sessions. The Kaplan enter offers a comprehensive review with flexible shedules. Call 662-3149 THE BAHA'I FAITH: God is one, man is one, and all the religions are one. TICKETS HAVE 6 HUEY LEWIS TICKETS-3 For each show-MUST SELL!! Call NOW 764- 8604. ROOMMATES 2 FEMALES NEED TO FIND APT-Fall only. Call Katie, 761-9473 or Ellen, 996- 0927. DENTAL STUDENT Need roomate for fall '87. Call David at (517) 351-8620. ONE FEMALE ROOMMATE WANTED for OWN ROOM in 2 bedroom apartment. Modem building, great location! Sept.-Sept. lease. $375/mo. + elec. If you're interested or just want more information, call 764-5919 anytime. SUBLET MAY/MAY- dbl. & sngl. in 7 bdrm. house. New carpet, stove, laundy,3- bath 2-shower. 5 min to BSchl. 764-4023- TWO FEMALE ROOMIES WANTED: Fall/Wtr. 87. One spacious bedroom avail- able as a single and half a double available in a GREAT house. Inc. free parking and laun- Ayfac. Good price! 4 min. from Union. Call COMPUTER MDSE. COMPUTERS, printers, modems. Specials this month on 1200B Modem only $1 29. Call Automation Link, 747-9000. LEADING EDGE COMPUTER MONITOR- amber screen- Call Eli at 747-7518. Records. m AIDS CAN STRIKE ANYONE! AWARENESS INFORMATION CENTER Keep currently informed of facts, trends, health & prevention tips. A must for all socially-aware individuals. $18 enrollment fee includes membership card, information packet, 4 quarterly issues of "Awareness Information Update." Mail check or money order to: A.I.C. Suite 329 Box 5083 Southfield, MI 48086 Cocteau Twins Love's Easy Tears Relativity This is one of those rarest of bands. Cocteau Twins' sound is of a glorious little world all their own, where chant-like incantations of diz - zying, operatic vocals swirl above patterns of crystalline guitar me - lodies in their spacious echoes, an chored by hypnotic lines of bass and an elastic pulse-beat. The ethe - real romanticism of this EP makes for the closest thing in pop to a music for Gothic cathedrals. One listen to the possessive flourishes of "Those Eyes, That Mouth" af - firms why these charms defy all comparisons - no one else can tap into the exhilarating, closed-circuit line to heaven on which this band is wired. -Michael Fischer present WHITE CASTLE EAT-OFF SUNDAY, MARCH 29th contest begins at 9 pm; $2.50 at door* register your team in the Fishbowl Mon., Tues., Wed. 1st, 2nd, 3rd and door prizes awarded!! *a// proceeds to Cystic Fibrosis Foundation C>c # o§')~o v4 e CJ A eU e Struggling with Juggling Roles? You are invited to attend a discussion of recent research on role conflicts and coping strategies of Dual Career Couples With Dr. Rosemary Sarri, Eric Lang and Linda Beth Tiedje Tuesday March 24, 1987 7-9 p.m. Kuenzel Room, Michigan Union 11