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September 26, 1975 - Image 4

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
Michigan Daily, 1975-09-26

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ant
Eighty-Five Years of Editorial Freedom
Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan

MISADVENTURES IN SOMALIA

Friday, September 26, 1975

News Phone: 764-0552

420 Maynard St., Ann Arbor, Mi. 48104
4: M
CORD

Keep,
By STEVE STOJIC
QOME GUYS from the Depart-
ment of Defense (DOD) were
coming over to brief the Con-
gressman about his weekend
trip. The way I understood it,
he and some other Congressmen
were checking out an enchanting
little tourist trap called "So-
malia" on the eastern coast of
Africa. They had to get a per-
sonal low-down of the joint
'cause you can't believe what
people tell you, especially when
they're in the government.
I figured these DOD dudes
would drop by with a few bro-
chures, you know, the kind that
tell you neat things to do and
see and have the color pictures
of quaint little huts and sunny
shark-infested beaches.
I was supposed to greet them
and make them real at home -
like until the Congressman got
back from the Floor. So, I was
sitting around when this guy,
obviously a DOD dude, came a
huffing and a puffing into the
office with these huge leather
covered map cases, charts, and
diagrams, just like the kind
that come with G. I. Joe, the
All-American fighting dolly.
"You seen General Porter
and General Tots?" he asked.
"No, why? Are they missing?"
"Of course not. They're sup-
posed to be here."
"WELL, unless they're under
two feet tall, they couldn't have
snuck in here. Have you
checked in the john?"
"No . .. Listen, I'm going to
set these up in there," he said
as he pointed to the Congress-
man's office.
This DOD dude was kinda
small and frail. Sweat was leak-

ing up
ing out of his pale bony face.
He was so nervous, I thought he
was going to have puppies.
I figured I should help him
out so I strolled over to carry
in one of the charts. Suddenly,
he became very hostile. I
thought he was going to bite.
"Don't touch that. It's clas-
"This DOD dude was
kinda small and frail.
Sweat was leaking out
of his pale bony face.
He was so nervous, I
thought he was going
to huave puppies."
sified," he snarled.
"Sorry," I said meekly, as I
dropped the chart on his foot.
"Just trying to be useful."
I let a few minutes pass be-
fore I continued my efforts to
aid this needy-type person.
"Say, you look kinda beat.
Wanna drink?" I asked.
"No. Regulations prohibit im-
bibing alcoholic beverages on
duty."
"OH, WE DON'T have any
booze, but I can get you some
orange juice that'll tickle your
innards."
"I respectfully decline your
generous offer, thank you very
much."
"Likewise," I replied feeling
certain that I wouldn't get to do
a good deed for the day.
Suddenly he barked, "What's
that on your wrist?"

"My watch," I answered,
confident in the knowledge that
I was correct, it being my wrist
and my watch and all.
"Let me inspect it," he asked,
obviously doubting my ability
to answer so complicated a
question.
I waltzed over to show him
my piece as I defended my an-
swer: "It's not a camera or
anything. Actually, it's a K-
Mart barn-busting special, guar-
anteed accurate to seven min-
utes a day. I think it's swell,
but if you like it, I'll sell it to
you cheap. Make you a good
deal. I'll part with this precious
heirloom for a mere $19.99.
Whatcha say?"
HE BROUGHT the watch
close to his twitching left eye to
examine it. After a second, he
mumbled, "It's just a watch."
"That's right," I chirped,
"and a darn good one. How's
$18.99 sound?"
No response was forthcoming.
Ths DOD dude was so bright -
after all, he had swiftly and ac-
curately perceived that I had
a watch on my wrist (all by
himself) - that I decided to ask
him a perhaps more difficult
question:
"What's the big deal over So-
malia?"
I can't say. It's classified."
"Aw, come on . . . you can
tell me, I'm your buddy."
"No. It's classified."
"You guys find something
there? Huh? Whatcha find? I
won't leak, honest. Don't worry
I know that, "Loose sips link
shlips.'
"Huh?"
"See, even if I told, no one

with

would understand me."
"Classified."
"OKAY, BE that way to a
dear old friend. You don't have
to tell me. All I have to do is
check today's 'Washington Post'
to find out all that classified
stuff, plus the stuff you don't
tell the Congressman."
"'Don't get smart.
All I can say is thatwe
found something in
Somalia.'
'Okay. Lemme guess.
You found ... Soma-
licans !'"
"Don't get smart. All I can
say is that we found something
in Somalia.'e
"Okay. Lemme guess. You
found . . . Somalians!"
"No, bigger than that!"
"Elephants?"
"No, dumbo, you're way off."
"Well, what's bigger than ele-
phants? You guys aren't digging
up dinosaurs, are ya?"
"No, but I'll give you a hint.
It has something to do with
Diego Garcia."
"Who's he? Prime Minister of
Somalia?"
"No, no, no, no, NO! Diego
Garcia is an island in the Indian
Ocean. Our Navy is planning to
move in there."
"WHY?" CAN'T they keep up
the rent here in the U.S.? Ten-
ants have rights ya know and if

the

Politburo

Uncle Sam is givin' them a
hassle, a like giant aqua-screw,
they should fight it and not
move half-way 'round the world.
Shucks, that's expensive."
"No, it's not the rent. We're
moving in there because THEY
are in Somalia."
"Who's THEY? The Somal-
ians?"
"No. THEY is.THEM, the bad
guys," lie said as he glanced
over his shoulder.
"Oooohhh! Why didn't you say
so! The guys in the black hats
have hijacked Somalia! Heavens
to Betsy Ross!"
"Yes. So you see Diego Gar-
cia is important to us because
Somalia is important to them."
"YEAH, BUT I have an idea.
What if we pretend that Diego
Garcia isn't important (even
though it sure as shucks is) and
make THEM think THEY made
a big boo-boo and are wasting
time and money in blind stupid-
ity. Then, THEY'LL pull out.
(Us not having pulled in.) And
if we can trick THEM like that
-real sneaky and deceptive-like
-all over the world and make
THEM think that no base is im-
portant then THEY will be
THERE and WE will be HERE
and everyone else in between
will be happy to be left alone."
"You forgot about National
Security."
"My point is that if they
jumped in a lake, would you?"
"What's in the lake? You bet-
ter tell! We got to get in that
lake before THEY do!"
Steve Stojic is a regular con-
tributor to the Daily editorial
page.

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Sarge: Ted's stalking horse
makes move on the outside

By GORDON ATCHESON
THERE ARE SOME mighty unlikely can-
didates gunning for the Democratic
Party's presidential nomination, and at this
point none of them has the machine, the
money, or the national following to beat
Gerald Ford next year.
One contender isn't really a Democrat.
But, ironically, Governor George Wallace
of Alabama has the best known name in
the field.
Another is the president of Duke Uni-
versity and a former governor. Terry San-
ford bills himself as the liberal alternative
to Wallace - a man who can win in the
south, thus stopping the Redneck Express.
Yet a third, in the crowded field, has
toured the country in a red, white, and
blue camper to drum up support. An ex-
senator, Fred Harris claims he's a down-
home populist and has the Oklahoma ac-
cent to prove it.
The most unlikely entry thus far, how-
ever, is the most recent - Kennedy clan
member Sargent Shriver who announced
his presidential ambitions early this week.
WHY SHRIVER, A fellow who has never
held major or even minor elective office,
would jump into the deep, chilly waters of
presidential politics is a question without
an obvious answer.

tion is made up of the Kennedy faithful
and little else.
SHRIVER MARRIED INTO the Kennedy
family and lacks the mystical something
that made John and Robert and, to a lesser
extent, Edward heroes to a group includ-
ing blue collar workers, liberal intellect-
uals, and the true "have-nots" in America.
The real reason Shriver has hit the cam-
paign trail may be as a stalking horse for
Senator Edward Kennedy - a possibility
he vigorously denied in announcing his in-
tentions.
But it makes sense.
If Kennedy were planning to run in '76,
he would not want to slug it out in the nu-
merotis state primaries, but would rather
emerge as a party unifier at the national
convention.
Without a stalking horse in that situa-
tion, Kennedy would have to gear up a
camuaian from scratch - a tough, if not
imnossible chore - in, an extremely short
period of time.
But Shriver could get the Senator over
that hurdle by simply "turning over" his
organization. All it would have to do is
print up buttons and posters with a dif-
ferent name.

slander
To The Daily:
I SHOULD NOT involve my-
self in the current dispute with-
in the clerical union, for I am
now a P&A, but I was involved
in the effort to organize cleri-
cals a year ago before my pro-
motion, and I have not lost in-
terest in the union. I want to
write you briefly about three
issues.
First, I cannot help but no-
tice that three of the four lead-
ing spokeswomen of the CDU
are the same women who work-
ed against unionization Eat
least UAW) a year ago. Their
abrasive tactics, as I remem-
ber, resulted in an embarrass-
ingly poor showing then. I won-
der what their motives are now,
and why they seem to intent
on damaging -- if not destroy-
ing - the union they could not
defeat in September 1974. I sus-
pect that a movement which is
trying so desperately to instill
distrust in the bargaining com-
mittee now, regardless of its
high-sounding claims, wants
only the power it could not get
democratically a year ago.
SECOND, I GET enraged
when I read in CDU remarks
and in Daily editorials com-
ments about the bargaining
committee, and specifically
about Jean Jones, which I know
to be abhorrently false. Jean is,
I admit, a close friend of mine.
The items which describe her
as power hungry or as a lackey
or suggest that she participated
in a sellout are so completely
false that they are almost
criminally slanderous. Few peo-
ple on this campus can match
her integrity as evidenced by
her conscientious performance
of union duties.
Few people can match her
native intelligence and strength,
qualities which have saved sev-
eral clericals their jobs at the
university. Unfortunately, she
does not broadcast her ability,
.relying on integrity and com-
petence to balance irresponsible
rhetoric. Any statement to the
contrary is founded either in
abject ignorance or is a con-
scious falsehood.
However, politics of the past
decade have shown us how eas-
ily untruth, when repeated dog-
matically and long enough,
takes on a convincing appear-
ance of truth. Therefore, cleri-
cals should consider the follow-
ing question closely: Can the
CDU, which has based its cam-
paign on falsehood and assault
on individual integrity, be trust-
ed to advise clericals on mat-

etters
ters which deeply affect them?
And will they be' trustworthy
leaders if their trust for union
control succeeds?
The third, and final, issue,
concerns the by-laws which,
by now, all clericals have seen
and read. In view of the pro-
posed by-laws, I cannot help
but wonder what in God's name
the CDU was raising such com-
motion for. Can they produce a
more democratic document?
Does any clerical now seriously
suspect that the bargaining
committee, and other clericals
who contributed to the docu-
ment, worked for self - inter-
est? .Does any clerical think
that another committee (which,
it just occurred to me, epito-
mizes bureaucratic thought) is
going to produce anything more
democratic? And, to repeat,
what were the motives of the
CDU in spreading unjustified
distrust within the union? Is
their policy consistent with
the establishment of a strong
union? What does the CDU
want?
Many issues involved in the
dispute within the Clerical's un-
ion (UAW 2401) do not seem im-
portant to me. I doubt that they
will do away with agency shop
= surely they are not that sui-
cidal. I do not think they will
ever produce a significantly bet-
ter set of by-laws. And I doubt
that they will decertify, at least
not immediately..
They really don't have much
to do, it has all been done for
them. Having never accepted
responsibility for the building of
the local, and having opposed
its formation as long as 18
months ago, the CDU leadership
is making another grab for pow-
er. Is that all they want? And
if so, does it justify the slander
of decent, honest and dedicated
women and men who have done
so much without hope of recom-
pense for fellow clericals at the
U. of M.? And does it justify
the incalculable damage they
have done to what clericals
need most - a strong, con-
cerned, and unified union which
the Concerned Clericals for Ac-
tion/UAW Local 2401 has the po-
tential to become? Is all that
destruction to persons and pro-
mise worth power? What does
the CDU want?
Pamela Hamblin
Sept. 20
thank you
To The Daily:
ON SUNDAY, September 21,
the Bargaining Committee of
Local 2001 sent a mailing to the

I'h 1
membership which is 2400
strong. The Bargaining Com-
mittee was aided in this effort
by about 13 other members of
the Local, including 2 from Flint
and one from Dearborn, who
volunteered to give up their
Sunday. The Bargaining Com-
mittee wishes to extend its
thanks and , appreciation to
those 13 people.
On Wednesday, September
17, the Bargaining Committee
was paid a visit by about 10
members of the CDU. These
people were apprised of the up-
coming mailing and readily
promised their help. When a
CDU spokesperson was notified
of the exact date the mailing
would be done she again pro-
mised the aid of her contingent.
They were to arrive at 1:00
p.m. on Sunday. However, once
again, the CDU lived up to the
Bargaining Committee's expec-
tations and failed to arrive. The
CDU spends a lot of time cre-
ating dissension and distrust,
complaining about the lack of
communication, and claiming
they have an overwhelming de-
sire to participate in the work
that must be done in the Local
and aid in the communications
process. Yet, when it's time to
do some work, the CDU is nev-
er there.
WHAT, YOU MAY ask, was
involved in this mailing? The
following was done:
1. 2400 postage stamps had
to be affixed to envelopes;
2. 2400 envelopes had to be
stamped with a return address;
3. 2400 name and address la-
bels, had to be typed;
4. a three page legal size by-
laws proposal had to be collat-
ed, stapled and folded;
5. a three page statement
plus an insert had to be collated
stapled ;
6. a two page legal size news-
letter had to be collated, sta-
pled and folded;
7. the official call to the Sept.
28th meeting was printed, two
to a page, and that had to be
cut;
8. packets of the above ma-
terials had to be assembled and
envelopes had to be. stuffed;
9. the envelopes had to be
separated into those for Ann
Arbor and those for other ci-
ties; and, finally,
10. 2400 envelopes had to be
delivered to the post office for
mailing.
THE COST OF this mailing
was approximately $1,098.00;
$700 for postage, $300 for print-
ing and $98 for envelopes. The

/''W1 7

1),Da,1* ly
printer could have collated,
stapled and folded the mater-
ials, but this would have been
at an additionpl cost to the Lo-
cal. Rather than incur this ad-
ditional cost, the Bargaining
Committee chose to do this
work itself along with the aid
of volunteers.
This is an example of the on-
going work that must be done
in the local. This is apparent-
ly not the work the CDU wishes
to be involved in. What, you
should ask yourself, is it they
really want to do? What is their
real goal?

The next time you read L
CDU article or leaflet ? would
ask you to remember this one
of many examples of when their
promised help has not been
forthcoming and to give serious
consideration to the above ques-
tions.
Deborah Moorehead
Sept. 20
Letters should be typed
and limited to 400 wordq.
The Daily reserves ske
right to edit letters for
length and grammav.

O Bee. '1 i FUL. FOR FZUSS I AN 5045%
MR AMPLE SALES OF GRAIN,
I"CR NIGHER PRICES FOR OUR 89GAV,
FOR RYE, WHOLE WHEAT OR PLAIN.,*

"ALL OF THE CANDIDATES
the field agree that if Senator
wanted the nomination he could
Shriver said.
That's probably true, although
be more difficult than it seems.

now in
Kennedy
get it,"
it could

First, Kennedy might have to fend off
Hubert Humphrey who apgears to be wait-
ing in the wings. The Minnesota Senator
could be dispatched.
But Kennedy would then have to battle
Ford, an incumbent with a clean record.
This poses two problems:
-an incumben.t president has only once
failed to win another term in office in this
century. The lone exception was Herbert
Hoover who bore the brunt of the nation's
anger and frustration in the early years of
the Great Depression and
-Kennedy is tainted by the infamous
night on Chappaquidak Island. The effect
of such a personal scandal is hard to
judge, but it obviously won't help against a
man with a reputation for honesty and in-
tegrity.
CLEARLY KENNEDY WANTS to be
sure of victory as possible before commit-
tins himself to running because a loss
w'ro"' take the edge off his reputation in
f'o-re elections.
Thus, Kennedy needs to hold off an-
no'in,1ng his candidacy as long as possible.
If the Senator found the political climate
acceptable, he would then be able to move
in and push Shriver, the stalking horse,
aside.
If, however, the conditions proved unfav-
nrnln he oijd i stsiton hesideli;nes

Is GOP recall,
threat realistic?
By MIKE FRUHMAN
CITY REPUBLICANS warned Mayor Wheeler last week
i that if he vetoed the recently passed Community Develop-
ment Revenue Sharing proposal, he would face a recall
campaign. Yesterday, Mayor Wheeler vetoed the proposal.
Recall, the means by which a new election can be
called, has never before, in the memory of the City Clerk,
been used in Ann Arbor.
To force new elections, the plaintiffs must first register
with the City Clerk's office. Then, they must circulate peti-
tions of grievance (200 words or less) and collect 9,448 sig-
natures (one-fourth of the Ann Arbor residents who, voted for
the governor in 1974) within 90 days. Then, the new election
will be held, within 60 days (unless the mayor has been in
office for less for than three months), and anyone interested
in running is eligible.
HOWEVER, THIS MAY all be academic. First of all,
Cooncilwoman Carol Jones (Dem.) felt that the Republican-
TTT3n .,n-iit nr ' vnrtir nAt trtr to rnAITTTt '.4' CPT'iflTIC 1".#17TT1.'31lYYI_

It could be that he has simply been bitten
by "the bug."
Shriver is no stranger to power and pres-
tige in the federal government. Under John
F. Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson, he head-
ed the Peace Corps - one of the most bal-
lyhooed programs of the decade. Later, he
piloted the Office of Economic Opportunity.
And he served as ambassador to France
during the first two years of the Nixon Ad-
ministration.
Lest anyone forget, the 59-year-old Shriv-
er was also George McGovern's despera-

Reflections: A Think Tank

By BARBARA CORNELL
J? SKIMOS HAVE OVER 100
names for ice because it is
such an essential part of their
environment. Americans also

T prefer the simple think
tank. Just as an austere chapel
--as opposed to a baroque ca-
thedral cluttered with cherubs
and swirls -- often brings the

meaningless world. With the
mounting satisfaction, I rise,
my arms outstretched with
thanks and praise - my body
limp and exhausted.

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