ant Eighty-Five Years of Editorial Freedom Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan MISADVENTURES IN SOMALIA Friday, September 26, 1975 News Phone: 764-0552 420 Maynard St., Ann Arbor, Mi. 48104 4: M CORD Keep, By STEVE STOJIC QOME GUYS from the Depart- ment of Defense (DOD) were coming over to brief the Con- gressman about his weekend trip. The way I understood it, he and some other Congressmen were checking out an enchanting little tourist trap called "So- malia" on the eastern coast of Africa. They had to get a per- sonal low-down of the joint 'cause you can't believe what people tell you, especially when they're in the government. I figured these DOD dudes would drop by with a few bro- chures, you know, the kind that tell you neat things to do and see and have the color pictures of quaint little huts and sunny shark-infested beaches. I was supposed to greet them and make them real at home - like until the Congressman got back from the Floor. So, I was sitting around when this guy, obviously a DOD dude, came a huffing and a puffing into the office with these huge leather covered map cases, charts, and diagrams, just like the kind that come with G. I. Joe, the All-American fighting dolly. "You seen General Porter and General Tots?" he asked. "No, why? Are they missing?" "Of course not. They're sup- posed to be here." "WELL, unless they're under two feet tall, they couldn't have snuck in here. Have you checked in the john?" "No . .. Listen, I'm going to set these up in there," he said as he pointed to the Congress- man's office. This DOD dude was kinda small and frail. Sweat was leak- ing up ing out of his pale bony face. He was so nervous, I thought he was going to have puppies. I figured I should help him out so I strolled over to carry in one of the charts. Suddenly, he became very hostile. I thought he was going to bite. "Don't touch that. It's clas- "This DOD dude was kinda small and frail. Sweat was leaking out of his pale bony face. He was so nervous, I thought he was going to huave puppies." sified," he snarled. "Sorry," I said meekly, as I dropped the chart on his foot. "Just trying to be useful." I let a few minutes pass be- fore I continued my efforts to aid this needy-type person. "Say, you look kinda beat. Wanna drink?" I asked. "No. Regulations prohibit im- bibing alcoholic beverages on duty." "OH, WE DON'T have any booze, but I can get you some orange juice that'll tickle your innards." "I respectfully decline your generous offer, thank you very much." "Likewise," I replied feeling certain that I wouldn't get to do a good deed for the day. Suddenly he barked, "What's that on your wrist?" "My watch," I answered, confident in the knowledge that I was correct, it being my wrist and my watch and all. "Let me inspect it," he asked, obviously doubting my ability to answer so complicated a question. I waltzed over to show him my piece as I defended my an- swer: "It's not a camera or anything. Actually, it's a K- Mart barn-busting special, guar- anteed accurate to seven min- utes a day. I think it's swell, but if you like it, I'll sell it to you cheap. Make you a good deal. I'll part with this precious heirloom for a mere $19.99. Whatcha say?" HE BROUGHT the watch close to his twitching left eye to examine it. After a second, he mumbled, "It's just a watch." "That's right," I chirped, "and a darn good one. How's $18.99 sound?" No response was forthcoming. Ths DOD dude was so bright - after all, he had swiftly and ac- curately perceived that I had a watch on my wrist (all by himself) - that I decided to ask him a perhaps more difficult question: "What's the big deal over So- malia?" I can't say. It's classified." "Aw, come on . . . you can tell me, I'm your buddy." "No. It's classified." "You guys find something there? Huh? Whatcha find? I won't leak, honest. Don't worry I know that, "Loose sips link shlips.' "Huh?" "See, even if I told, no one with would understand me." "Classified." "OKAY, BE that way to a dear old friend. You don't have to tell me. All I have to do is check today's 'Washington Post' to find out all that classified stuff, plus the stuff you don't tell the Congressman." "'Don't get smart. All I can say is thatwe found something in Somalia.' 'Okay. Lemme guess. You found ... Soma- licans !'" "Don't get smart. All I can say is that we found something in Somalia.'e "Okay. Lemme guess. You found . . . Somalians!" "No, bigger than that!" "Elephants?" "No, dumbo, you're way off." "Well, what's bigger than ele- phants? You guys aren't digging up dinosaurs, are ya?" "No, but I'll give you a hint. It has something to do with Diego Garcia." "Who's he? Prime Minister of Somalia?" "No, no, no, no, NO! Diego Garcia is an island in the Indian Ocean. Our Navy is planning to move in there." "WHY?" CAN'T they keep up the rent here in the U.S.? Ten- ants have rights ya know and if the Politburo Uncle Sam is givin' them a hassle, a like giant aqua-screw, they should fight it and not move half-way 'round the world. Shucks, that's expensive." "No, it's not the rent. We're moving in there because THEY are in Somalia." "Who's THEY? The Somal- ians?" "No. THEY is.THEM, the bad guys," lie said as he glanced over his shoulder. "Oooohhh! Why didn't you say so! The guys in the black hats have hijacked Somalia! Heavens to Betsy Ross!" "Yes. So you see Diego Gar- cia is important to us because Somalia is important to them." "YEAH, BUT I have an idea. What if we pretend that Diego Garcia isn't important (even though it sure as shucks is) and make THEM think THEY made a big boo-boo and are wasting time and money in blind stupid- ity. Then, THEY'LL pull out. (Us not having pulled in.) And if we can trick THEM like that -real sneaky and deceptive-like -all over the world and make THEM think that no base is im- portant then THEY will be THERE and WE will be HERE and everyone else in between will be happy to be left alone." "You forgot about National Security." "My point is that if they jumped in a lake, would you?" "What's in the lake? You bet- ter tell! We got to get in that lake before THEY do!" Steve Stojic is a regular con- tributor to the Daily editorial page. .** - '~ " .c}y ;w x; w v;{N }- }TtN+ Y 'F :.";"X d' v.44,F iFMf'}:Jty5x.4 ":y.',:v! :34:. '. 4 wT]- ..::. -}" "::. :!:\ - .y S4'?~:"3 :" .'"... '^" .. .? .. : .., . ',-fi : ..4..f 'X :... '4i.,. ..,...'':} :'4et3 : ' .x Sarge: Ted's stalking horse makes move on the outside By GORDON ATCHESON THERE ARE SOME mighty unlikely can- didates gunning for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination, and at this point none of them has the machine, the money, or the national following to beat Gerald Ford next year. One contender isn't really a Democrat. But, ironically, Governor George Wallace of Alabama has the best known name in the field. Another is the president of Duke Uni- versity and a former governor. Terry San- ford bills himself as the liberal alternative to Wallace - a man who can win in the south, thus stopping the Redneck Express. Yet a third, in the crowded field, has toured the country in a red, white, and blue camper to drum up support. An ex- senator, Fred Harris claims he's a down- home populist and has the Oklahoma ac- cent to prove it. The most unlikely entry thus far, how- ever, is the most recent - Kennedy clan member Sargent Shriver who announced his presidential ambitions early this week. WHY SHRIVER, A fellow who has never held major or even minor elective office, would jump into the deep, chilly waters of presidential politics is a question without an obvious answer. tion is made up of the Kennedy faithful and little else. SHRIVER MARRIED INTO the Kennedy family and lacks the mystical something that made John and Robert and, to a lesser extent, Edward heroes to a group includ- ing blue collar workers, liberal intellect- uals, and the true "have-nots" in America. The real reason Shriver has hit the cam- paign trail may be as a stalking horse for Senator Edward Kennedy - a possibility he vigorously denied in announcing his in- tentions. But it makes sense. If Kennedy were planning to run in '76, he would not want to slug it out in the nu- merotis state primaries, but would rather emerge as a party unifier at the national convention. Without a stalking horse in that situa- tion, Kennedy would have to gear up a camuaian from scratch - a tough, if not imnossible chore - in, an extremely short period of time. But Shriver could get the Senator over that hurdle by simply "turning over" his organization. All it would have to do is print up buttons and posters with a dif- ferent name. slander To The Daily: I SHOULD NOT involve my- self in the current dispute with- in the clerical union, for I am now a P&A, but I was involved in the effort to organize cleri- cals a year ago before my pro- motion, and I have not lost in- terest in the union. I want to write you briefly about three issues. First, I cannot help but no- tice that three of the four lead- ing spokeswomen of the CDU are the same women who work- ed against unionization Eat least UAW) a year ago. Their abrasive tactics, as I remem- ber, resulted in an embarrass- ingly poor showing then. I won- der what their motives are now, and why they seem to intent on damaging -- if not destroy- ing - the union they could not defeat in September 1974. I sus- pect that a movement which is trying so desperately to instill distrust in the bargaining com- mittee now, regardless of its high-sounding claims, wants only the power it could not get democratically a year ago. SECOND, I GET enraged when I read in CDU remarks and in Daily editorials com- ments about the bargaining committee, and specifically about Jean Jones, which I know to be abhorrently false. Jean is, I admit, a close friend of mine. The items which describe her as power hungry or as a lackey or suggest that she participated in a sellout are so completely false that they are almost criminally slanderous. Few peo- ple on this campus can match her integrity as evidenced by her conscientious performance of union duties. Few people can match her native intelligence and strength, qualities which have saved sev- eral clericals their jobs at the university. Unfortunately, she does not broadcast her ability, .relying on integrity and com- petence to balance irresponsible rhetoric. Any statement to the contrary is founded either in abject ignorance or is a con- scious falsehood. However, politics of the past decade have shown us how eas- ily untruth, when repeated dog- matically and long enough, takes on a convincing appear- ance of truth. Therefore, cleri- cals should consider the follow- ing question closely: Can the CDU, which has based its cam- paign on falsehood and assault on individual integrity, be trust- ed to advise clericals on mat- etters ters which deeply affect them? And will they be' trustworthy leaders if their trust for union control succeeds? The third, and final, issue, concerns the by-laws which, by now, all clericals have seen and read. In view of the pro- posed by-laws, I cannot help but wonder what in God's name the CDU was raising such com- motion for. Can they produce a more democratic document? Does any clerical now seriously suspect that the bargaining committee, and other clericals who contributed to the docu- ment, worked for self - inter- est? .Does any clerical think that another committee (which, it just occurred to me, epito- mizes bureaucratic thought) is going to produce anything more democratic? And, to repeat, what were the motives of the CDU in spreading unjustified distrust within the union? Is their policy consistent with the establishment of a strong union? What does the CDU want? Many issues involved in the dispute within the Clerical's un- ion (UAW 2401) do not seem im- portant to me. I doubt that they will do away with agency shop = surely they are not that sui- cidal. I do not think they will ever produce a significantly bet- ter set of by-laws. And I doubt that they will decertify, at least not immediately.. They really don't have much to do, it has all been done for them. Having never accepted responsibility for the building of the local, and having opposed its formation as long as 18 months ago, the CDU leadership is making another grab for pow- er. Is that all they want? And if so, does it justify the slander of decent, honest and dedicated women and men who have done so much without hope of recom- pense for fellow clericals at the U. of M.? And does it justify the incalculable damage they have done to what clericals need most - a strong, con- cerned, and unified union which the Concerned Clericals for Ac- tion/UAW Local 2401 has the po- tential to become? Is all that destruction to persons and pro- mise worth power? What does the CDU want? Pamela Hamblin Sept. 20 thank you To The Daily: ON SUNDAY, September 21, the Bargaining Committee of Local 2001 sent a mailing to the I'h 1 membership which is 2400 strong. The Bargaining Com- mittee was aided in this effort by about 13 other members of the Local, including 2 from Flint and one from Dearborn, who volunteered to give up their Sunday. The Bargaining Com- mittee wishes to extend its thanks and , appreciation to those 13 people. On Wednesday, September 17, the Bargaining Committee was paid a visit by about 10 members of the CDU. These people were apprised of the up- coming mailing and readily promised their help. When a CDU spokesperson was notified of the exact date the mailing would be done she again pro- mised the aid of her contingent. They were to arrive at 1:00 p.m. on Sunday. However, once again, the CDU lived up to the Bargaining Committee's expec- tations and failed to arrive. The CDU spends a lot of time cre- ating dissension and distrust, complaining about the lack of communication, and claiming they have an overwhelming de- sire to participate in the work that must be done in the Local and aid in the communications process. Yet, when it's time to do some work, the CDU is nev- er there. WHAT, YOU MAY ask, was involved in this mailing? The following was done: 1. 2400 postage stamps had to be affixed to envelopes; 2. 2400 envelopes had to be stamped with a return address; 3. 2400 name and address la- bels, had to be typed; 4. a three page legal size by- laws proposal had to be collat- ed, stapled and folded; 5. a three page statement plus an insert had to be collated stapled ; 6. a two page legal size news- letter had to be collated, sta- pled and folded; 7. the official call to the Sept. 28th meeting was printed, two to a page, and that had to be cut; 8. packets of the above ma- terials had to be assembled and envelopes had to be. stuffed; 9. the envelopes had to be separated into those for Ann Arbor and those for other ci- ties; and, finally, 10. 2400 envelopes had to be delivered to the post office for mailing. THE COST OF this mailing was approximately $1,098.00; $700 for postage, $300 for print- ing and $98 for envelopes. The /''W1 7 1),Da,1* ly printer could have collated, stapled and folded the mater- ials, but this would have been at an additionpl cost to the Lo- cal. Rather than incur this ad- ditional cost, the Bargaining Committee chose to do this work itself along with the aid of volunteers. This is an example of the on- going work that must be done in the local. This is apparent- ly not the work the CDU wishes to be involved in. What, you should ask yourself, is it they really want to do? What is their real goal? The next time you read L CDU article or leaflet ? would ask you to remember this one of many examples of when their promised help has not been forthcoming and to give serious consideration to the above ques- tions. Deborah Moorehead Sept. 20 Letters should be typed and limited to 400 wordq. The Daily reserves ske right to edit letters for length and grammav. O Bee. '1 i FUL. FOR FZUSS I AN 5045% MR AMPLE SALES OF GRAIN, I"CR NIGHER PRICES FOR OUR 89GAV, FOR RYE, WHOLE WHEAT OR PLAIN.,* "ALL OF THE CANDIDATES the field agree that if Senator wanted the nomination he could Shriver said. That's probably true, although be more difficult than it seems. now in Kennedy get it," it could First, Kennedy might have to fend off Hubert Humphrey who apgears to be wait- ing in the wings. The Minnesota Senator could be dispatched. But Kennedy would then have to battle Ford, an incumbent with a clean record. This poses two problems: -an incumben.t president has only once failed to win another term in office in this century. The lone exception was Herbert Hoover who bore the brunt of the nation's anger and frustration in the early years of the Great Depression and -Kennedy is tainted by the infamous night on Chappaquidak Island. The effect of such a personal scandal is hard to judge, but it obviously won't help against a man with a reputation for honesty and in- tegrity. CLEARLY KENNEDY WANTS to be sure of victory as possible before commit- tins himself to running because a loss w'ro"' take the edge off his reputation in f'o-re elections. Thus, Kennedy needs to hold off an- no'in,1ng his candidacy as long as possible. If the Senator found the political climate acceptable, he would then be able to move in and push Shriver, the stalking horse, aside. If, however, the conditions proved unfav- nrnln he oijd i stsiton hesideli;nes Is GOP recall, threat realistic? By MIKE FRUHMAN CITY REPUBLICANS warned Mayor Wheeler last week i that if he vetoed the recently passed Community Develop- ment Revenue Sharing proposal, he would face a recall campaign. Yesterday, Mayor Wheeler vetoed the proposal. Recall, the means by which a new election can be called, has never before, in the memory of the City Clerk, been used in Ann Arbor. To force new elections, the plaintiffs must first register with the City Clerk's office. Then, they must circulate peti- tions of grievance (200 words or less) and collect 9,448 sig- natures (one-fourth of the Ann Arbor residents who, voted for the governor in 1974) within 90 days. Then, the new election will be held, within 60 days (unless the mayor has been in office for less for than three months), and anyone interested in running is eligible. HOWEVER, THIS MAY all be academic. First of all, Cooncilwoman Carol Jones (Dem.) felt that the Republican- TTT3n .,n-iit nr ' vnrtir nAt trtr to rnAITTTt '.4' CPT'iflTIC 1".#17TT1.'31lYYI_ It could be that he has simply been bitten by "the bug." Shriver is no stranger to power and pres- tige in the federal government. Under John F. Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson, he head- ed the Peace Corps - one of the most bal- lyhooed programs of the decade. Later, he piloted the Office of Economic Opportunity. And he served as ambassador to France during the first two years of the Nixon Ad- ministration. Lest anyone forget, the 59-year-old Shriv- er was also George McGovern's despera- Reflections: A Think Tank By BARBARA CORNELL J? SKIMOS HAVE OVER 100 names for ice because it is such an essential part of their environment. Americans also T prefer the simple think tank. Just as an austere chapel --as opposed to a baroque ca- thedral cluttered with cherubs and swirls -- often brings the meaningless world. With the mounting satisfaction, I rise, my arms outstretched with thanks and praise - my body limp and exhausted.