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Page 4-Friday, September 23, 1977-The Michigan Daily
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Life with a maligned by-line
Eighty-Eight Years of Editorial Freedom
Vol. LXXXVIII, No. 14
420 Maynard St., Ann Arbor, MI 48109
News Phone: 764-0552
Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan
THE MEN FROMtA"ALAN17
By ANN MARIE LIPINSKI
I've picked the wrong profes-
sion.
If I was a math TA it would be
all right. You're not supposed to
be able to pronounce their names.
Even a scientist. Their calling
cards are rightfully as complica-
ted as their chemicals. But I'm a
reporter, and in my business a
name like Ann Marie Lipinski is a
worse affliction than a lisp.
TRY IT ONCE. Pick up the
phone and ask for someone you
know won't be in. Theh leave a
message. Tell them, "Ann Marie
Lipinski called."
"Oh, honey, you're gonna have
to spell that for me," the puzzled
secretary invariably says.
"Mary Ann what?"
The handicap, my parents tell
me, was self-inflicted. I was
messing up my own moniker until
the age of three, kicking off a
curse that would trail me through
life. My mother giggles when she
recalls the garbled rendition of
the name I used as a child. I
steam.
"I WAS IN a department store
with you once when you were
two," she says. "Suddenly I hear
a voice over the intercom an-
nouncing they've found a -lost
child. 'The little girl says her
name is Animee Pinski,' the
woman said. 'Would someone
please claim her?' I went to the
nearest saleslady and said, 'I
think that name is my daugh-
ter.' "
"It was too much effort for you
to pronounce that big name," she
consoles. "It was easier for you to
say Animee because that's only
three syllables." She mentally
calculates the syllables in Ann
Marie and discards that line of
reasoning.
"I know," she offers. "It was
the 'R' sound. That 'R' sound is
difficult for a little kid." She
stops again and recalls that at the
age of one I dutifully posed in
front of the television set, my
hand placed over my heart,,
flawlessly executing the Pledge
of Allegiance with Captain Kan-
garoo each morning.
SHE SCANS the patriotic
pledge, mumbles over the series
of R sounds, and shrugs. "I don't
know what your problem was,"
she concedes.
The years have proved the
problem was not in me. It is in-
herent in the name. And
mispronunciation isn't the only
stickler. There is also the tactless
editing that occurs with a three-
word, 16-letter name too fat to
pack into contract blanks and
computer slots.
I receiveda letter from a pub-
lishing house three weeks ago ad-
dressed to "Ms. Ann Marie." A
notice came from my landlady
week. "Could we please speak to
Jim Tobin?"
"Jim's not here," the reporter
replied. "Could someone else
help you?"
"Yes," the secretary sighed.
"How about the other co-editor.
You know. What's her name?"
DRIVEN BY the time-worn
"That Girl" jokes, and a still lin-
gering fear I possess of the Ital-
ian neighbor I had as a child who,
each time he spotted me, would
bellow, "My Anna Maria!", I
every time I pick up Esquire, I
resign myself to good company
with Arnold Gingrich still domi-
nating the masthead.
And after all, I've been remind-
ed, it could be worse.'
LAST SUMMER, while intern-
ing for the Miami Herald, I
placed a call to a city commis-
sioner in Naples, Fla. In his ab-
sence, I was left in the hands of
the secretary who offered to
leave a message for her boss:
"Please hAve him call Ann Marie
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The Lance resignation
yesterday addressed to "M. Lip-
inski." And invariably some jerk
will drop the "Marie," hoping the
"E" he added onto. Anne will
compensate for the five-letter
loss.
BUT NONE of that is as cruel
as the person who scorns the
name entirely in exchange for a
description. "This is President
Fleming's office calling," a sec-
retary told a Daily reporter last
have considered assuming a nom
de plume. Outside of the roman-
tic appeal the option holds, I im-
agine blissful exchanges with
secretaries who smile and gladly
take the, messages from Sue
Smith. Or letters that appear ad-
dressed, complete and unadulter-
ated, to Jane Jones.
But then I stop and admire the
columns of Fox Butterfields and
Mopsy Saint-Kennedys that popu-
late The New York Times. And
Lipinski at the'Herald," I tried.
"You must have a terrible time
with that name," she gasped. "I
have a friend in California with
the same last name and she just
goes through hell. But she's got it
much tougher than you," she ad-
ded. "Her last name ends in a Y."
Some consolation.
0
Ann Marie Lipinski is co-
editor-in-chief of The Daily.
P OLITICAL REALITY, after a
strange submergence, has
emerged fit and strong in Washington.
Bert Lancehas resigned.
President Carter brought his friends
to the capital, Bert Lance chief among
them, with a sincere belief that he
would be a special President, that he
could change the rules and force those
already in government to play by
them. With Lance's resignation, Car-
ter must now realize that there are no
superficial routes to greatness. No ar-
tistry of image can sustain the nation's
need for hard, decent policy.
The New York Times, yesterday
morning, retold an anecdote about
Lance. The day after Carter named
him as his choice for OMB director,
Lance rolled up at Miss Lillian's Plains
house for an economic conference. He
was driving an old pichup truck.
"This here's a 'Carter limousine,' "
he called. "I'm telling you for sure,
boy. Things are really going to be dif-
ferent now."
But nin'e months later-as Lance,
Carter and the'rest-of the administra-
tion must realize-things are not that
much different. It is virtually certain
that the President decided Lance
had to leave because the Wash-
ington of Senate Majority Leader
Robert Byrd and House Speaker Tip
O'Neal decided Lance had to leave.
The reason: policy. The kings of the
Washington establishment were ap-
parently convinced that Lance could
no longer be persuasive and strong on
Capitol Hill. This is the essence of
politics as usual, and it has taken this
trauma to convince Carter that the
rules are already made, and that
politics as usual are the politics he
must play.
The Lance affair has made clear
serious flaws in the pattern of gover-
ning that Carter has established. They
reflect too great a dependence on a
small clique of friends and advisers,
and a scorn for the traditional routes of
decision-making.
Carter has thrown walls around
himself. He pledged an open gover-
nment, then shaped a White House
elite of Hamilton Jordan, Jody Powell,
Lance, and counsel Robert Lipshutz.
These men do not appear to be
duplicates of H. R. Haldeman and John
Ehrlichman. But Jody Powell's attempt-
ed smear of Sen. Charles Percy last
week was certainly not encouraging;
in any case, as one news account put it,
"Too few men with too little ex-
perience at the top levels of power had
too much responsibility. They were too
reluctant to trust outsiders." The
record of Lance, their friend from the
Atlanta days, was stained, but
throughout the controversy they
refrained from telling Carter the
serious trouble Lance was in.
THEY LISTEN to each other," a
White House staffer said this week.
"They have a tendency to reinforce
one another's prejudices."
* Carter's White House is arrogant.
No one would doubt that Carter was of-
fered some very sound, seasoned ad-
vice from congressional lords such as
Byrd and O'Neal weeks ago. But their
election victory has apparently con-
vinced Carter's staff that it needs no
one's advice. The sour duration of the
controversy shows the White House
should have listened weeks ago.
Carter has understood from the very
start of his campaign that the scandal-
weary nation has been ready to sup-
port a President who will hold aloft a
light of decency. But he has responded
to that readiness with too-burdensome
emphasis on "morality.''
Bert Lance does not seem an im-
moral man, but he could not possibly
meet the princely standards Carter
has set. Now the President has con-
fused everyone by defending Lance as
a man of honor, but agreeing he should
resign.
Carter's politics of morality have
become dreadfully muddled. Lance is
gone, leaving the Carter White House
shaken. We hope the lessons have hit
home. It is time to move on.
TODAY'S STAFF:
News: Lori Carruthers, Stu McConnell, Bob
Rosenbaum, Margaret'Yao, Mike Yellin
Editorial: Jim Robb, Jim Tobin
Arts: Wendy Goodman
Health Service Handbook
By SYLVIA HATCHER
and NANCY PALCHIK
QUESTION - What sorts of
dental care are provided at
Health Service? Oral surgery?
ANSWER - We have received
numerous requests, like yours,
for a column on dental services
available to students.
SThe Health Service does not
now have a dentalrclinic although
we hope to have one in the future.
Students, as well as other com-
munity members are, however,
eligible to receive both routine
and emergency dental care at the
University's School of Dentistry.
The Dental School is probably
the best place in town to go for in-
expensive dental treatment. Den-
tal students, supervised by Den-
tal School faculty, do everything
from oral exams to oral surgery,
And dental hygiene students per-
form routine prophylaxes (teeth
cleaning).
Emergency dental services are
available on Mondays, Tuesdays,
Thursdays and Fridays begin-
ning at 8:30 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. on
the first floor, Room 1334, of the
Dental School. The phone number
is 763-3374. Patients are seen on a
first-come, first-served basis, so
if you come at one of these times
be preparpd to wait. The fee is
$4.00 if you have never registered
for care at the Dental School. Ad-
ditional fees for treatment will
depend upon the materials used.
Happily, there is no fee for labor
as working on your teeth also pro-
vides an educational opportunity
for students.
FOR ROUTINE, non-
emergency care at the Dental
School, the number to call is 764-
1518. Unfortunately, there is usu-
ally a long wait (currently about
seven to eight months) for a
screening that you must go
through to determine the edwca-
tional value of your case. This
means that there is no guarantee
you will be accepted as a patient,
even after the wait. The trade off
is that if you are accepted as a
patient, the costs for routine
treatment are considerably lower
than those you would have to pay
for private dental care.
If you wish to have your teeth
cleaned you can call the Dental
Hygiene Department at 764-1544.
This does not require prior
screening or registration.
In regard to your specific ques-
tion about oral surgery, the Den-
tal School does perform oral
surgery either on referral from
the Dental School clinic or from a
private dentist. If you choose the
latter route, the oral surgery de-
partment requires a copy of your
X-rays and a note from your reg-
ular dentist explaining the nature
of your problem. For an appoint-
ment, stop at the department of-
fice. The phone number is 764-
1568. The waiting period for oral
surgery will' depend upon your
specific problem, but for non-
emergency patients, the wait
could be up to six months.
Please send all health related
questions to:
The Health Educators
U-M Health Service
Division of Office of
Student Services
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
After this week, Health Ser-
vice Handbook will appear on
Wednesday of each week.
Letters to The Daily
cavender
To The Daily:
During the game against Duke, I was appalled at
the conduct of George Cavender, director of the
marching band. It has been a tradition, that after
every Michigan touchdown, the cheerleaders count
off the score, doing backward flips. Last Saturday,
Cavender repeatedly delayed, and in one case pre-
vented the cheerleaders from performing their act.
Before the cheerleaders could get started, Caven-A
der would launch the band into the "Let's Go Blue"
song until the kickoff, and by then the effect of the
count-off had been considerably diminished. So stop
trying to own the whole show, George.
The solution is simple. Let the procedure be as
follows: touchdown, a round of "The Victors," the
count off, and then you can start the "Let's Go
Blue" until the kickoff. Believe it or not, the thirty-
second wait won't kill you.
Jonathan Hodgdon
September 17
anti-chic
To The Daily:
I am delighted to see that Jeff Selbst has refused
to succumb to the pressures of anti-conformist chic.
It's inspiring to see someone defend the great Amer-
ican right to conform. Why, just think, Mr. Selbst,
what would happen if that "disturbing trend" was
allowed to continued unchecked - tens of thousands
of Ann Arborites walking around not doing the same
thing!
Looking forward to more forthright, unabashed
banality.
Bret Eynon
September 20
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