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April 01, 1971 - Image 4

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1971-04-01

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4.

EXTRA

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Vol. LXXXI, No. 147' Ann Arbor, Michigan-Thursday, April 1, 1971 Ten Cents

Twelve Pages

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REGENTS
BAR DOD t
PROJECTS
The Regents have banned f
all militaryresearch from the
University.
In a unanimous decitsion: yester-
day the Regents voted to bar all
research contracted with the De-
partment of Defense-and- to break
all contracts currently 'held with
the DOD for research conducted..
on University facilities.
"We couldn't let the Universityf
aid the war machine for one more
day!" declared Regent Robert
Brown, expressing the sense of the
body. Speculation that the decis-4
ion was prompted byfear of stu-
dent pressure was dismissed by
Brown. "Hell, I'm just as dedi-
cated to smashing American im- {
perialism as the next g u y," he.
said.
In taking the action, the Re-
gents went farther than had been Students celebrate Regental decision
suggested by faculty liberals, who
had urged a ban on just classified
research. "Tommyrot!" said Re- GA CASE:
gent William Cudlip "Change is

Vietnam
toll booth1
plan fails
SAIGON (DPT) - The lat-
est American plan for stop-
ping Communist infiltration
down the Ho Chi Minh trail
into South Vietnam has ap-
parently met with failure.
Soldiers manning the toll booths
set up every 500 yards along the
trail report difficultiesdcollecting
the dollar, now required for pas-
sage. It has been reported that
some of the N o r t h Vietnamese
trucks have been giving the naive
American servicemenrslugs in-
stead of genuine American mon-
ey.
Also, some of the Communists
have been resorting to the dishon-
est tactic'of claiming that they are
South Vietnamese. "These people
have no morals," said one private.
"and what can we do? - they all
look the same!"
In other developments in Viet-
nam, a Gallup Poll was released
on the outlook for the upcomingI
Presidential election. The NLF
was favored by 39 per cent of those
questioned, Duong Van Minh was
supported by 16 per cent, Presi-
dent Thieu 11 per cent, with 34
per cent favoring assorted local
candidates.

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AGNEW RETIRES,
PLANS NEW LIFE
President Nixon, Vice President Agnew and the entire

a slow process - yeah, sure - if
we listened to the people who 'say
that, we'd still be swinging from
the trees in the jungle!"
In other action, the Regents cut
tuition in h a I f. in addition to
building 5,000 units of inexpensive
housing units. In what was de-
scribed by Regent Trudy Huebner
as "a whim." the Regents .ignored
Prwsident Fleming's warnings that

CSJ finds Dav is
unrepresentative

In a unanimous decision, Central Student Judiciary yes- Well, thats fie with me, said
Thieu, "I'm happy to see the Viet-
terday declared Michael Davis 'unrepresentative', in violation namese people supporting a demo-
of SGC rules. cratic movement for radical so-
CSJ ruled that Davis will be disbanded if he does not cial change." Thieu announced he
draw up a new constitution for himself within a week. has no further plans for cam-+
"That's fine with me," said, Davis, "on a good week, I can paigning. "As long as they win by
write three or four of 'em." election, I have no quarrel withj
The suit against Davis, brought by Graduate Assembly, them," said Thieu. "If they want
pointed out that Davis has had his name in The Daily 47 to smash the ruling class and the
times in the past two weeks, although he has no official po- blood-sucking American imperial-
sition at the University nor any visible purpose. ists who I've so amiably fronted
All pictures of Davis in The Daily's files were confisci- for, that's just dandy."

Cabinet resigned yesterday.
"Well," said Nixon, smiling and relaxed in front of the
White House, "we did our best, but that was none too good."
Nixon spoke on nationwide tlvso for six minutes.HA
had no prepared text, and continued smiling throughout the
telecast, occasionally breaking into fits of senseless laughter.
"Let me make it perfectly clear that I am no longer per-
feet or clear," he said. "I deemed 'it appropriate to resignate
my office immediately effective."
A noted cabinet member summarized Nixon's reasons for
resigning. "We've really fucked it," he said.
Washington observers predict the chief contenders in the
new Presidential election which Congress has scheduled for
September, will be George McGovern, Julian Bond and local
radical Eric Chester.
Nixon has been offered temporary employment by a used car lot in
Butte, Montana.
Secretary of State William Rogers said "Basically, Dick has been
feeling pretty guilty about all the Vietnamese he's killed.
Agnew after resignation "You know, a fellow can get pretty tired of being the tool of
American imperialism after two solid years. Dick felt that maybe
selling cars would be more his thing."
MAYORAL RACE: "Yes indeed" added Pat Nixon. "Dicl has been having the most
godawful dreams. When I ask him in the morning he just shakes his*
head and says 'it's those damn peasants again.' And you know how
cross overthe President feels about his sleep."
G rou p s -Meanwhile. Vice President Agnew, dressed in a leather jacket
with shoulder length hair, full beard and a peace medallion, said he
plans to drop out of the establishment and start an organic food
baD ck cand ateOs commune "somewhere in the Southwest.'
to b cc"Too many contemptuous compromises have been connived wits
the Department of Defense. Life to the life culture, death to the
By W. E. SHLOCK death culture," he said.
In what appears to be a trend, three new splinter groups On his future plans, Agnew said he would "buy a flute, take off
have branched off from Ann Arbor political parties, to sup- his shoes and sit in a tree.
port mayoral candidates of other parties. This follows the re- "I shall also insist on free dope, free sex, free food and free
cent formation of 'Concerned Democrats for Garris' and 'Re- Angela." he added.
publicans for Responsible Government,' which favors Mayor "This man's outrageous behavior indicates he has been smoking
Harris. that, that drug," said local celebrity Jack Garris. When asked t0
Peter Denton, announcing the formation of 'Concerned elaborate, Garris said "well, mum's the word, but it begins with m
Radicals for Garris', declared "I'm as worried as anybody else and ends with a-n-a."
by the immorality, the drug mania and the generally wild Contacted afterwards, Agnew retorted "it's people like Garris
Shcamewho are leading this country on the road to destruction. Everyone
activities that have taken over the campus since Harris ams knows that booze and crewcuts are correlated with mental de-
to office. Cornell can't win, so if we don't want two more years ficiencies."
of decline into decadence,
vote for Jack Garris."
0a"Jack, Jack. He's our man" he
w p p; continued. "If he can't do it, no
one can.,:
e e Jim Forrester, announcing the
i Fyebias formation of 'Responsible Radi-
cals for Harris', said "Change is a
a slow process. Let's work within
the system to make this a better f}{ '
moderate position is that there are place for all people. All this ideal-
two sides to every question-lib-sn
eraland onsrvatveTimeandism is all right, but when the hard!'
eral and conservative, Time and groundwork has to be done, when
Newsweek, Democrat and Repu- we have to work on council to
)lean. amend the housing code, or get a
Hirschman criticized The Daily I new bus, or a n e w low-income
particularly for what he called housing unit, then Mayor B o b
"violent attacks on the men who Harris is the one we can count on."
run the University-the Regents, On a somewhat different note,' ' '#
the vice-presidents and especially Sheriff Douglas Harvey announc-
President Fleming. ed the formation of Radical Re-
"We have to stop this continual actionaries for Cornell. "I'm so
smear of the University adminis- mad I could smash the state," he
tration. There are dedicated men said. "Harris is a. pinko, and Gar-a
working in that building and we ris is selling out.
have to support them as best we "The only solution," he addedi
can" h sad. is revolution."i Nixon during better days

President Fleming
the University's budget was al-
ready seriously out of balance. "I
just don't know," said Fleming, "I
just don't know."
Regent Lawrence Lindemer gave
the Regental position on the fi-
nancial questions. "If those lazy
eggheads who are ;supposed to
teach here would get off their
fannies and work a little, we could
pay students to go here and build
five million units!"
SGC President John Feldkamp
said of the tuition cut and the
housing plan ."It's a small step,
but it's a start."

cated last night on orders of'
CSJ.
Though only 28 years old, Da-
vis has been a graduate student in
Ann Arbor for 19 years. When lie
is not minding other people's busi-
ness, Davis polishes up his disser-
tation, which he plans to present
"within the next generation."
Davis was tentatively hired as
an instructor by The University
of Nebraska in the fall, but The
Regents of the university decided
they did not need someone of his
unique qualifications. "We al-
ready have plenty of constitutions
in this state." said a statement
released in September by the Ne-
braska Regents, "what we don't
need is someone running around
telling us we're not representative,
amending by - laws, organizing
elections, and the like."
Davis, who believes in "working
within the system," flashed a
peace sign as he left the CSJ'
hearing "Such is Lhe fate of phil-
osopher-kings," he said.

By L. Y. NER
and R. C. KRAFT C.
M. Abraham Hirschman, form-
er editor of The Daily, last night
announced the formation of a sec-
ond campus newspaper. The Cam-
pus Comment.
"It's about time the Michigan
Machine Daily stopped monopo-
lizing the campus press." Hirsch-
man said.
Hirschman, suported by repre-
sentatives of right-wing campus
groups, said his newspaper would
take the stylistic form of the Na-
tional Enquirer, an eastern tab-
loid. "Not like that liberal New
York Times," Hirschman was
quick to point out.

Hirschman said the CommentI
would compete with The Daily fort
advertising and subscriptions fromt
the local community.
"I think we can do it," he mus-
ed yesterday. "We'll have more
cartoons, and some neat columns,
like Alsop, perhaps, or maybe Da-!
vid Lawrence."I
Hirschman indicated his stafft
would "be more representative of1
the student body than is T h e
Daily."-
He said he had asked noted au-t
thoress Ayn Rand to be editorialI
director, and was considering Wil-1
r bur Pierpont for business manag-

Hirschman starts ne
seeks to combat Dc

uu liul u ~tla lulg !1~l, 11 l .
er.
The Comment's formation comes
directly after charges from stu-
dent groups that the Daily mo-
nopolizes and manipulates cam-
pus politics.
"The Ann Arbor News just
wasn't hitting hard enough," Jbo
Hirschman said last night. "And I
felt if we wanted a second news- .
paper, we should put one out our-
selves."
"It's time T h e Daily stopped'
pushing its Pinko views on ther
University community," he added.
"When a newspaper tries to make
people think a certain way, it's
got to be stopped."
g "ThebDaily has given up being ..
a newspaper." he continued ,"it's
become a radical rag. The job of ;
a newspaper is not to print opin-
ions-it's to print the facts."
Hirschman said his newspaper ,
would try to be as objective as .
possible in its news articles.;
"There is such a thing as ob-

10 i vuluIVI.

STUDENTS MOBBED

por n ies unlimted

4-

By STU DENT
"Christ, they nearly ripped my
clothes off," said John Dull, '71.
a BGS with a 2.1 GPA and a
solid distribution of courses in
Slavic languages, physical edu-
cation and abstruse history.
"I just can't decide xhether
to accept a position in Washing-
ton as Undersecretary of State,
become a middle-level GM exec-
utive, or star in a surfing mo-
vie," he continued. "If you havae
a baccalaureate these days,
you're really set!"
All the University placement
services are packed tight these

arette with a twenty-dollar bill
in that hilarious mannerism that
has become such a fad in the
country these days, contemplates
the glowing future which awaits
her when she graduates as an
American Studies major.
"I need a wheelbarrow to
carry all the job offers I get
every day from the mailbox to
my house," she says. "There's
the usual-two or three dozen
American Studies stores, and
then all the big corporations that
require all of us new college
graduates to direct Their enter-
prises in the coming growth

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