} 4. EXTRA :Y Si rigan Iati1 b EXTRA A1 Vol. LXXXI, No. 147' Ann Arbor, Michigan-Thursday, April 1, 1971 Ten Cents Twelve Pages I /rV I. I REGENTS BAR DOD t PROJECTS The Regents have banned f all militaryresearch from the University. In a unanimous decitsion: yester- day the Regents voted to bar all research contracted with the De- partment of Defense-and- to break all contracts currently 'held with the DOD for research conducted.. on University facilities. "We couldn't let the Universityf aid the war machine for one more day!" declared Regent Robert Brown, expressing the sense of the body. Speculation that the decis-4 ion was prompted byfear of stu- dent pressure was dismissed by Brown. "Hell, I'm just as dedi- cated to smashing American im- { perialism as the next g u y," he. said. In taking the action, the Re- gents went farther than had been Students celebrate Regental decision suggested by faculty liberals, who had urged a ban on just classified research. "Tommyrot!" said Re- GA CASE: gent William Cudlip "Change is Vietnam toll booth1 plan fails SAIGON (DPT) - The lat- est American plan for stop- ping Communist infiltration down the Ho Chi Minh trail into South Vietnam has ap- parently met with failure. Soldiers manning the toll booths set up every 500 yards along the trail report difficultiesdcollecting the dollar, now required for pas- sage. It has been reported that some of the N o r t h Vietnamese trucks have been giving the naive American servicemenrslugs in- stead of genuine American mon- ey. Also, some of the Communists have been resorting to the dishon- est tactic'of claiming that they are South Vietnamese. "These people have no morals," said one private. "and what can we do? - they all look the same!" In other developments in Viet- nam, a Gallup Poll was released on the outlook for the upcomingI Presidential election. The NLF was favored by 39 per cent of those questioned, Duong Van Minh was supported by 16 per cent, Presi- dent Thieu 11 per cent, with 34 per cent favoring assorted local candidates. , ,: r; .. .. . . , ~c } , .. 3 .x~.3 { " ,: , , ,.. AGNEW RETIRES, PLANS NEW LIFE President Nixon, Vice President Agnew and the entire a slow process - yeah, sure - if we listened to the people who 'say that, we'd still be swinging from the trees in the jungle!" In other action, the Regents cut tuition in h a I f. in addition to building 5,000 units of inexpensive housing units. In what was de- scribed by Regent Trudy Huebner as "a whim." the Regents .ignored Prwsident Fleming's warnings that CSJ finds Dav is unrepresentative In a unanimous decision, Central Student Judiciary yes- Well, thats fie with me, said Thieu, "I'm happy to see the Viet- terday declared Michael Davis 'unrepresentative', in violation namese people supporting a demo- of SGC rules. cratic movement for radical so- CSJ ruled that Davis will be disbanded if he does not cial change." Thieu announced he draw up a new constitution for himself within a week. has no further plans for cam-+ "That's fine with me," said, Davis, "on a good week, I can paigning. "As long as they win by write three or four of 'em." election, I have no quarrel withj The suit against Davis, brought by Graduate Assembly, them," said Thieu. "If they want pointed out that Davis has had his name in The Daily 47 to smash the ruling class and the times in the past two weeks, although he has no official po- blood-sucking American imperial- sition at the University nor any visible purpose. ists who I've so amiably fronted All pictures of Davis in The Daily's files were confisci- for, that's just dandy." Cabinet resigned yesterday. "Well," said Nixon, smiling and relaxed in front of the White House, "we did our best, but that was none too good." Nixon spoke on nationwide tlvso for six minutes.HA had no prepared text, and continued smiling throughout the telecast, occasionally breaking into fits of senseless laughter. "Let me make it perfectly clear that I am no longer per- feet or clear," he said. "I deemed 'it appropriate to resignate my office immediately effective." A noted cabinet member summarized Nixon's reasons for resigning. "We've really fucked it," he said. Washington observers predict the chief contenders in the new Presidential election which Congress has scheduled for September, will be George McGovern, Julian Bond and local radical Eric Chester. Nixon has been offered temporary employment by a used car lot in Butte, Montana. Secretary of State William Rogers said "Basically, Dick has been feeling pretty guilty about all the Vietnamese he's killed. Agnew after resignation "You know, a fellow can get pretty tired of being the tool of American imperialism after two solid years. Dick felt that maybe selling cars would be more his thing." MAYORAL RACE: "Yes indeed" added Pat Nixon. "Dicl has been having the most godawful dreams. When I ask him in the morning he just shakes his* head and says 'it's those damn peasants again.' And you know how cross overthe President feels about his sleep." G rou p s -Meanwhile. Vice President Agnew, dressed in a leather jacket with shoulder length hair, full beard and a peace medallion, said he plans to drop out of the establishment and start an organic food baD ck cand ateOs commune "somewhere in the Southwest.' to b cc"Too many contemptuous compromises have been connived wits the Department of Defense. Life to the life culture, death to the By W. E. SHLOCK death culture," he said. In what appears to be a trend, three new splinter groups On his future plans, Agnew said he would "buy a flute, take off have branched off from Ann Arbor political parties, to sup- his shoes and sit in a tree. port mayoral candidates of other parties. This follows the re- "I shall also insist on free dope, free sex, free food and free cent formation of 'Concerned Democrats for Garris' and 'Re- Angela." he added. publicans for Responsible Government,' which favors Mayor "This man's outrageous behavior indicates he has been smoking Harris. that, that drug," said local celebrity Jack Garris. When asked t0 Peter Denton, announcing the formation of 'Concerned elaborate, Garris said "well, mum's the word, but it begins with m Radicals for Garris', declared "I'm as worried as anybody else and ends with a-n-a." by the immorality, the drug mania and the generally wild Contacted afterwards, Agnew retorted "it's people like Garris Shcamewho are leading this country on the road to destruction. Everyone activities that have taken over the campus since Harris ams knows that booze and crewcuts are correlated with mental de- to office. Cornell can't win, so if we don't want two more years ficiencies." of decline into decadence, vote for Jack Garris." 0a"Jack, Jack. He's our man" he w p p; continued. "If he can't do it, no one can.,: e e Jim Forrester, announcing the i Fyebias formation of 'Responsible Radi- cals for Harris', said "Change is a a slow process. Let's work within the system to make this a better f}{ ' moderate position is that there are place for all people. All this ideal- two sides to every question-lib-sn eraland onsrvatveTimeandism is all right, but when the hard!' eral and conservative, Time and groundwork has to be done, when Newsweek, Democrat and Repu- we have to work on council to )lean. amend the housing code, or get a Hirschman criticized The Daily I new bus, or a n e w low-income particularly for what he called housing unit, then Mayor B o b "violent attacks on the men who Harris is the one we can count on." run the University-the Regents, On a somewhat different note,' ' '# the vice-presidents and especially Sheriff Douglas Harvey announc- President Fleming. ed the formation of Radical Re- "We have to stop this continual actionaries for Cornell. "I'm so smear of the University adminis- mad I could smash the state," he tration. There are dedicated men said. "Harris is a. pinko, and Gar-a working in that building and we ris is selling out. have to support them as best we "The only solution," he addedi can" h sad. is revolution."i Nixon during better days President Fleming the University's budget was al- ready seriously out of balance. "I just don't know," said Fleming, "I just don't know." Regent Lawrence Lindemer gave the Regental position on the fi- nancial questions. "If those lazy eggheads who are ;supposed to teach here would get off their fannies and work a little, we could pay students to go here and build five million units!" SGC President John Feldkamp said of the tuition cut and the housing plan ."It's a small step, but it's a start." cated last night on orders of' CSJ. Though only 28 years old, Da- vis has been a graduate student in Ann Arbor for 19 years. When lie is not minding other people's busi- ness, Davis polishes up his disser- tation, which he plans to present "within the next generation." Davis was tentatively hired as an instructor by The University of Nebraska in the fall, but The Regents of the university decided they did not need someone of his unique qualifications. "We al- ready have plenty of constitutions in this state." said a statement released in September by the Ne- braska Regents, "what we don't need is someone running around telling us we're not representative, amending by - laws, organizing elections, and the like." Davis, who believes in "working within the system," flashed a peace sign as he left the CSJ' hearing "Such is Lhe fate of phil- osopher-kings," he said. By L. Y. NER and R. C. KRAFT C. M. Abraham Hirschman, form- er editor of The Daily, last night announced the formation of a sec- ond campus newspaper. The Cam- pus Comment. "It's about time the Michigan Machine Daily stopped monopo- lizing the campus press." Hirsch- man said. Hirschman, suported by repre- sentatives of right-wing campus groups, said his newspaper would take the stylistic form of the Na- tional Enquirer, an eastern tab- loid. "Not like that liberal New York Times," Hirschman was quick to point out. Hirschman said the CommentI would compete with The Daily fort advertising and subscriptions fromt the local community. "I think we can do it," he mus- ed yesterday. "We'll have more cartoons, and some neat columns, like Alsop, perhaps, or maybe Da-! vid Lawrence."I Hirschman indicated his stafft would "be more representative of1 the student body than is T h e Daily."- He said he had asked noted au-t thoress Ayn Rand to be editorialI director, and was considering Wil-1 r bur Pierpont for business manag- Hirschman starts ne seeks to combat Dc uu liul u ~tla lulg !1~l, 11 l . er. The Comment's formation comes directly after charges from stu- dent groups that the Daily mo- nopolizes and manipulates cam- pus politics. "The Ann Arbor News just wasn't hitting hard enough," Jbo Hirschman said last night. "And I felt if we wanted a second news- . paper, we should put one out our- selves." "It's time T h e Daily stopped' pushing its Pinko views on ther University community," he added. "When a newspaper tries to make people think a certain way, it's got to be stopped." g "ThebDaily has given up being .. a newspaper." he continued ,"it's become a radical rag. The job of ; a newspaper is not to print opin- ions-it's to print the facts." Hirschman said his newspaper , would try to be as objective as . possible in its news articles.; "There is such a thing as ob- 10 i vuluIVI. STUDENTS MOBBED por n ies unlimted 4- By STU DENT "Christ, they nearly ripped my clothes off," said John Dull, '71. a BGS with a 2.1 GPA and a solid distribution of courses in Slavic languages, physical edu- cation and abstruse history. "I just can't decide xhether to accept a position in Washing- ton as Undersecretary of State, become a middle-level GM exec- utive, or star in a surfing mo- vie," he continued. "If you havae a baccalaureate these days, you're really set!" All the University placement services are packed tight these arette with a twenty-dollar bill in that hilarious mannerism that has become such a fad in the country these days, contemplates the glowing future which awaits her when she graduates as an American Studies major. "I need a wheelbarrow to carry all the job offers I get every day from the mailbox to my house," she says. "There's the usual-two or three dozen American Studies stores, and then all the big corporations that require all of us new college graduates to direct Their enter- prises in the coming growth a __ ;: _ . _ ,.,: - .;. _ .. ......: ,.s... - .