Tuesday, Apr! 4, .1972
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Page Vine
Tuesday, April 4, 1972 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Vage Nine
busted
I
Dum da dum da dum.. .
.on the road again
Ball strike continues
i
al shackelford
OUT on the lonesome highway, thumb out and a personable
grin splattered across your face. A carload of high school
clowns in a jacked-up Chevy flames past, doing ninety, and
you get the bird and a few catcalls. (Yah! Yah! Take a bus!).
A semi reading "Milton's Florida Oranges" flattens you out
with a whoosh of flatulent, gravelly air. A freak wearing head-
phones stops and gives you a ride, but you have to sweat through
the Jefferson Airplane for three hundred miles.
If you're wondering what the samhill I'm talking about
(What is he doing on the highway? Does he' have a sore
thumb?), this is a column on the sport of speed hitchhiking.
This daredevil pastime will lure thousands of vagabonds to the
nation's highways just as soon as the weather warms up, and all
of them will be trying to break the 32-year old speed hitchhiking
record set by Rolfe Martinez, who thumbed from Nicaragua to
Pellston, Michigan in just over twenty hours.
So, a few tips for the novice speed hitchhiker who yearns to
"ride thumb 'cross the country," as insiders put it. First of all,
you will need two signs, one inked in bold letters for day
travel and another phosphorescent sign for those eerie nights on
Highway 66. If youare going to Boston, write "Boston" on the
sign. This way people will know that you are headed for Boston.
For instance, here is a typical conversation among the occupants
of a car when they see a hitchhiker 'with a "Boston" sign:
Mom: Look, that kid's headed for Boston.
Dad: Mmmph.
Of course, your sign doesn't have to say "Boston," although
it is a fine town. But make sure it is written in English! If
Ingleesa isn't your, native tongue, have one of your Anglo friends
make the sign for you. Never write anything on your sign ex-
cept your desination: many people miss rides because they write
. "I am a Jew" or "Please help me, I am an epileptic" on their
signs.
Second, a few words about personal attire. If you have long
hair, mash a stocking cap or baseball cap on your head. I
would recommend a St. Louis Cardinal baseball cap, since at
least three-quarters of the nation's drivers are avowed Cardi-
nal fans. Unfortunately, all of the nation's drunk drivers are
Cardinal ,fans. Take your chances.
Shoes are important. They should be comfortable and
not conspicuous. Wear a pair of white vinyl boots and you
will get rides you won't care for; on the other hand, white
bucks have received glowing testimonials from speed hitch-
hikers all over the country. But don't go too far with the
"straight kollege kid" look, or you will lose all your freak
rides and the good dope -these people sometimes offer.
A final comment on attire: don't wear work clothes or green
fatigues. People will mistake you for an escaped convict or
common degenerate and pass you by. If they do pick you up,
watch out!
Finally, what to do once you hit the highway. Pick out a
likely spot and mark the turf as your own. If any other hitch-
hikers approach you, make threatening gestures and shoo them
away.
You might ask, what is a "likely spot," and here is the
point at which a great many novice speed hitchhikers lose
valuable time. A friend of mine, on his first competition thumb,
stationed himself under an overpass and got no action for seven
hours. Finally he just gave up and went home, swearing he'd.
never try speed hitchhiking again.
Pick a spot away from any exits and entrances to the
highway, and make sure there is ample room for a car, truck
or military convoy to pull over. Don't stand on the highway!
This can be very dangerous, as thousands of kamikaze driv-
ers hit the highways every year to "bag a few hikers," as
they put it If you see a stiff hippie bound to the frot of a
car this summer, you'll know that he was the victim of a
crazed kamikaze.
Just a few tips for added speed. Don't take rides with state
troopers, fast-looking girls or freaks in psychedelic "I love
Jesus" vans. Travel light, with just a bar of soap and maybe
some chicken sandwiches. Never wear sunglasses or carry a
white cane. Never hitchhike with a dog, or take a ride with one.
And one other thing: waeh out for a little guy in a zebra-
striped jumpsuit, driving a pink Eldorado. Veteran speed hikers
refer to this legendary driver as "the bane of the Midwest."
Professional League Standings
By The Associated Press
NEW YORK-The Major League
Players' Association proposed yes-:
terday a settlement to major
league owners in an effort to endt
the first general players strike in
bastball history.'
Marvin Miller, executive direcr-
tor of the players' association,
proposed in a 90-minute meeting
with owners' representative John,
Gaherin that the offer of $490,000
j originally made by the owners for
health benefit improvements be1
applied instead to the pension planf
? : over which the players struck.
At issue is a 17 per cent riser
; - <in pension benefits demanded by
the players to compensate for the
>rise in the cost of living since
1969 when the current agreementp
w~as signed. The players claim the
increase wouldcost $1,972,000 and
suggest that it be financed withf
an $817,000 surplus from the cur-_
rent plan and an additional $11,000
d Press per club contribution.
axes on The owners had gone on record
will be as saying they "won't give one
ep him more cent," beyond the $490,000
they have pledged for maintaining
the health care portion of the
agreement.
tI
lal
spisorts'
NIGHT EDITOR:
CHUCK DRUKIS
"We're going to consider the
proposal seriously and have no
further comment at this time,"
said Gaherin who was not at the
news conference.
Miller explained that the players'
association was accept-ing the
same money offer that the owners
had made in Phoenix.
money."
Miller said that the "owners
haven't yet accepted the respon-
sibility of having collective bar-
gaining in good faith.
"If management rejects this of-
fer, which is so fair, equitable and
honorable, a way out for both
sides, they must bear the respon-
sibility for delaying the opening
of the season."
"The plan was designed based
on a 4% per cent annual earn-
ings," said Miller. "But it has
actually, earned more-about 6 per
cent. The difference of 1%/2 per
'cent annually on the $45 million
in the planhas created4this sur-
plus."
There are other factors as well,
including over-funding of the plan
for payments of disabled players
that have contributed to this extra
money.
"Its the . same amount
money," said Miller. "But the
ference is how we apply
of
dif-
the
-Associated
JERRY REUSS, the last remaining southpaw in the St. Louis Cardinal starting rotation, rela
the beach with his pneumatic young wife. If the current baseball strike continues, Jerry3
waitin' in the welfare line, along with all the other pro diamondmen. But his wife will ke
company, and va-va-voom!
1
Lakers
By The Associated Press
All four National Basketball As- I
sociation playoff series had a day
off yesterday after a busy week-
end that saw Los Angeles move toI
within one game of eliminating
Chicago, Milwaukee and Boston'
move ahead in their series, and
New York tie its playoff with Bal-
timore.
In the American Basketball As-
sociation, yesterday's only action
had Dallas at Utah in a series
which the Texas team led 1-0.
The other ABA series resume
Tuesday with New York at Ken-
tucky, Virginia at the Floridians
and Indiana at Denver. Virginia
leads its series 2-0, New York is
1-0 over Kentucky and the In-
diana-Denver series is tied at 1-1.
Los Angeles took a 3-0 edge in
Indians deal
for Foster,
McCraw
The Cleveland Indians yesterday
swapped outfielder Ted Ford to
the Texas Rangers for fly chasers
Tom McGraw and Roy Foster.
Cleveland had traded Foster to
Washington, now Texas, last'De-
cember.
In another deal, the Chicago
Cubs sent relief pitcher Ray New-
man to the Milwaukee Brewers for
hurler Floyd Weaver and outfield-
er Odis McCowan.
WEST SUPREME
favored i~n
four
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the NBA West semifinals Sunday Jo Jo White, John Havlicek and
by whipping crippled Chicago 108- Art Williams took turns firing
101. The Bulls played without 7- Boston past Atlanta 136-113, giv-
foot Tom Boerwinkle and got only Ing the Celtics a 2-1 edge in their
limited srvice from two other in- White hit 15 of his 29 points in1
jured regulars, Bob Love and Chet series.
Walker
Two Sports Elected
The Daily Sports Staff extends
its warmest felicitations and a
hearty hullabaloo to victorious
Human Rights Party candidates
Jerry DeGrieck and Nancy
Wechsler. Whether on the play-
ing fields or in the smoke-filled
rooms, we are sure Jerry and
Nancy will "get iton" for love,
peace and happiness!
"It was a tremendous effort by
the Bulls," said Bill Sharman,
coach of the Lakers. "They gave
110 per cent."
In the end it was the clutch
shooting of Jerry Waest, who had
31 points and Gail Goodrich, who
scored 23, that sank the Bulls and
left them just one game away
from elimination.
"I told my players after the
game they gave more than I de-
served," said Chicago Coach Dick
Motta. "They gave all they had
and more."
the first period and then Havlicek
took over for 15 of his 31 in the
second. Williams came off the
bench with 15 fourth period points
to lock up the victory.
The Knicks drew even with Bal-
timore at 1-1, whipping the Bul-
lets 110-88.
Walt Frazier, who finished with
30 points to lead all scorers, hit
19 in the first half as the Knicks
piled up a commanding 56-38 lead
at the intermission.
Dave DeBusschere had 29 and
Jerry Lucas 20 for the Knicks,
while Archie Clark, who had 38
in Baltimore's opening game vic-
tory, was limited to 18.
Milwaukee pulled ahead of
Golden State in their series by
beating the Warriors 122-94 Sat-
urday night.
The NBA playoffs resume withl
games at Atlanta, Baltimore, Chi-
cago and Golden State tonight.
Kentucky, the Floridians and Den-
ver host Tuesday's ABA playoff
action.
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NHL
Final Standings
Boston
New York
Montreal
Toronto
Detroit
Buffalo
Vancouver
Chicago
Minnesota
St. Louis
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
California
Los Angeles
East Division
W L T Pts
54 13 11 119
48 17 13 109
46 16 16 108
33 31 14 80
33 35 10 76
16 42 19 51
20 50 8 48
West Division
46 17 15 107
37 29 12 86
28 39 11 67
26 38 14 66
26 38 14 66
21 39 18 60
20 49 9 49
GF
330
317
307
209
261
203
190
256
212
208
220
200
216
206
WEST DIVISION
Tomorrow
Pittsburgh at Chicago
St. Louis at Minnesota
GA
204 Thursday
192 Pittsburgh at Chicago
205 St. Louis at Minnesota
208 Saturday
262 Chicago at Pittsburgh
289 Minnesota at St. Louis
288
Sunday
Chicago at Pittsburgh
166 Minnesota at St. Louis
191.
247 Tuesday, April 11
258 Pittsburgh at Chicago, if necessary,
236, St. Louis at Minnesota, if necessary
288,
<. }i
Criser Arena
Sot., April 8
2:00 P.M.
Tickets on sale at the
U-M Ticket Office, 1000
S. State Street (662-
3238). Mail Orders
accepted. All seats re-
served $5.00 - $4.00 -
$3.00 - $2.00
U - M Students - Staff
(With I.D.) $3.00
305
EAST DIVISION
Tomorrow
Montreal at New York
Toronto at Boston
Thursday
Montreal at New York
Toronto at Boston
Saturday
New York at Montreal
Boston at Toronto'
Sunday
New York at Montreal
Boston at Toronto
Tuesday, April 11
Montreal at New York, if necessary
Toronto at Boston, if necessary
Thursday, April 13
New York at Montreal, if necessary
Boston at Toronto, if necessary
Saturday, April 15 or Sunday, April 16
Montreal at New York, if necessary
Toronto at Boston, if necessary
i Thursday, April 13
Chicago at Pittsburgh, if necessary
Minnesota at St. Louis, if necessary
Saturday, April 15 or sunday, April 16
Pittsburgh at Chicago, if necessary
St. Louis at Minnesota, if necessary
TODAY'S NBA GAMES
Eastern Conference
Boston at Atlanta
New York at Baltimore
Western Conference
Los Angeles at Chicago
Milwaukee at Golden State
Thursday
Eastern Conference
Baltimore at New Cork, afternoon
Western Conference
Golden State at Milwaukee
Friday
Eastern Conference
Atlanta at Boston
Western Conference
Golden State at Milwaukee, if necessary
I Chicago at Los Angeles, if necessary
ABA PLAYOFF
Utah 113, Dallas 107
Lemonade and Cake for all
Hopwood Awards Lecture
CAROLINE GORDON
Novelist and Critic,
Winner of the O.Henry Memorial Award
"THE 'SHAPE OF THE RIVER "
RACKHAM LECTURE HALL
Wednesday, April 5, at 8:00 P.M.
The Hopwood Awards in Writing
will be presented after the lecture
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