Tuesday, Apr! 4, .1972 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Vine Tuesday, April 4, 1972 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Vage Nine busted I Dum da dum da dum.. . .on the road again Ball strike continues i al shackelford OUT on the lonesome highway, thumb out and a personable grin splattered across your face. A carload of high school clowns in a jacked-up Chevy flames past, doing ninety, and you get the bird and a few catcalls. (Yah! Yah! Take a bus!). A semi reading "Milton's Florida Oranges" flattens you out with a whoosh of flatulent, gravelly air. A freak wearing head- phones stops and gives you a ride, but you have to sweat through the Jefferson Airplane for three hundred miles. If you're wondering what the samhill I'm talking about (What is he doing on the highway? Does he' have a sore thumb?), this is a column on the sport of speed hitchhiking. This daredevil pastime will lure thousands of vagabonds to the nation's highways just as soon as the weather warms up, and all of them will be trying to break the 32-year old speed hitchhiking record set by Rolfe Martinez, who thumbed from Nicaragua to Pellston, Michigan in just over twenty hours. So, a few tips for the novice speed hitchhiker who yearns to "ride thumb 'cross the country," as insiders put it. First of all, you will need two signs, one inked in bold letters for day travel and another phosphorescent sign for those eerie nights on Highway 66. If youare going to Boston, write "Boston" on the sign. This way people will know that you are headed for Boston. For instance, here is a typical conversation among the occupants of a car when they see a hitchhiker 'with a "Boston" sign: Mom: Look, that kid's headed for Boston. Dad: Mmmph. Of course, your sign doesn't have to say "Boston," although it is a fine town. But make sure it is written in English! If Ingleesa isn't your, native tongue, have one of your Anglo friends make the sign for you. Never write anything on your sign ex- cept your desination: many people miss rides because they write . "I am a Jew" or "Please help me, I am an epileptic" on their signs. Second, a few words about personal attire. If you have long hair, mash a stocking cap or baseball cap on your head. I would recommend a St. Louis Cardinal baseball cap, since at least three-quarters of the nation's drivers are avowed Cardi- nal fans. Unfortunately, all of the nation's drunk drivers are Cardinal ,fans. Take your chances. Shoes are important. They should be comfortable and not conspicuous. Wear a pair of white vinyl boots and you will get rides you won't care for; on the other hand, white bucks have received glowing testimonials from speed hitch- hikers all over the country. But don't go too far with the "straight kollege kid" look, or you will lose all your freak rides and the good dope -these people sometimes offer. A final comment on attire: don't wear work clothes or green fatigues. People will mistake you for an escaped convict or common degenerate and pass you by. If they do pick you up, watch out! Finally, what to do once you hit the highway. Pick out a likely spot and mark the turf as your own. If any other hitch- hikers approach you, make threatening gestures and shoo them away. You might ask, what is a "likely spot," and here is the point at which a great many novice speed hitchhikers lose valuable time. A friend of mine, on his first competition thumb, stationed himself under an overpass and got no action for seven hours. Finally he just gave up and went home, swearing he'd. never try speed hitchhiking again. Pick a spot away from any exits and entrances to the highway, and make sure there is ample room for a car, truck or military convoy to pull over. Don't stand on the highway! This can be very dangerous, as thousands of kamikaze driv- ers hit the highways every year to "bag a few hikers," as they put it If you see a stiff hippie bound to the frot of a car this summer, you'll know that he was the victim of a crazed kamikaze. Just a few tips for added speed. Don't take rides with state troopers, fast-looking girls or freaks in psychedelic "I love Jesus" vans. Travel light, with just a bar of soap and maybe some chicken sandwiches. Never wear sunglasses or carry a white cane. Never hitchhike with a dog, or take a ride with one. And one other thing: waeh out for a little guy in a zebra- striped jumpsuit, driving a pink Eldorado. Veteran speed hikers refer to this legendary driver as "the bane of the Midwest." Professional League Standings By The Associated Press NEW YORK-The Major League Players' Association proposed yes-: terday a settlement to major league owners in an effort to endt the first general players strike in bastball history.' Marvin Miller, executive direcr- tor of the players' association, proposed in a 90-minute meeting with owners' representative John, Gaherin that the offer of $490,000 j originally made by the owners for health benefit improvements be1 applied instead to the pension planf ? : over which the players struck. At issue is a 17 per cent riser ; - rise in the cost of living since 1969 when the current agreementp w~as signed. The players claim the increase wouldcost $1,972,000 and suggest that it be financed withf an $817,000 surplus from the cur-_ rent plan and an additional $11,000 d Press per club contribution. axes on The owners had gone on record will be as saying they "won't give one ep him more cent," beyond the $490,000 they have pledged for maintaining the health care portion of the agreement. tI lal spisorts' NIGHT EDITOR: CHUCK DRUKIS "We're going to consider the proposal seriously and have no further comment at this time," said Gaherin who was not at the news conference. Miller explained that the players' association was accept-ing the same money offer that the owners had made in Phoenix. money." Miller said that the "owners haven't yet accepted the respon- sibility of having collective bar- gaining in good faith. "If management rejects this of- fer, which is so fair, equitable and honorable, a way out for both sides, they must bear the respon- sibility for delaying the opening of the season." "The plan was designed based on a 4% per cent annual earn- ings," said Miller. "But it has actually, earned more-about 6 per cent. The difference of 1%/2 per 'cent annually on the $45 million in the planhas created4this sur- plus." There are other factors as well, including over-funding of the plan for payments of disabled players that have contributed to this extra money. "Its the . same amount money," said Miller. "But the ference is how we apply of dif- the -Associated JERRY REUSS, the last remaining southpaw in the St. Louis Cardinal starting rotation, rela the beach with his pneumatic young wife. If the current baseball strike continues, Jerry3 waitin' in the welfare line, along with all the other pro diamondmen. But his wife will ke company, and va-va-voom! 1 Lakers By The Associated Press All four National Basketball As- I sociation playoff series had a day off yesterday after a busy week- end that saw Los Angeles move toI within one game of eliminating Chicago, Milwaukee and Boston' move ahead in their series, and New York tie its playoff with Bal- timore. In the American Basketball As- sociation, yesterday's only action had Dallas at Utah in a series which the Texas team led 1-0. The other ABA series resume Tuesday with New York at Ken- tucky, Virginia at the Floridians and Indiana at Denver. Virginia leads its series 2-0, New York is 1-0 over Kentucky and the In- diana-Denver series is tied at 1-1. Los Angeles took a 3-0 edge in Indians deal for Foster, McCraw The Cleveland Indians yesterday swapped outfielder Ted Ford to the Texas Rangers for fly chasers Tom McGraw and Roy Foster. Cleveland had traded Foster to Washington, now Texas, last'De- cember. In another deal, the Chicago Cubs sent relief pitcher Ray New- man to the Milwaukee Brewers for hurler Floyd Weaver and outfield- er Odis McCowan. WEST SUPREME favored i~n four NEED RESEARCH AND REFERENCE WORK DONEI CHECK OUR LIBRARY TERMPAPERS UNLIMITED 5744 Woodward Ave., Detroit CALL-(313) 874-0770 the NBA West semifinals Sunday Jo Jo White, John Havlicek and by whipping crippled Chicago 108- Art Williams took turns firing 101. The Bulls played without 7- Boston past Atlanta 136-113, giv- foot Tom Boerwinkle and got only Ing the Celtics a 2-1 edge in their limited srvice from two other in- White hit 15 of his 29 points in1 jured regulars, Bob Love and Chet series. Walker Two Sports Elected The Daily Sports Staff extends its warmest felicitations and a hearty hullabaloo to victorious Human Rights Party candidates Jerry DeGrieck and Nancy Wechsler. Whether on the play- ing fields or in the smoke-filled rooms, we are sure Jerry and Nancy will "get iton" for love, peace and happiness! "It was a tremendous effort by the Bulls," said Bill Sharman, coach of the Lakers. "They gave 110 per cent." In the end it was the clutch shooting of Jerry Waest, who had 31 points and Gail Goodrich, who scored 23, that sank the Bulls and left them just one game away from elimination. "I told my players after the game they gave more than I de- served," said Chicago Coach Dick Motta. "They gave all they had and more." the first period and then Havlicek took over for 15 of his 31 in the second. Williams came off the bench with 15 fourth period points to lock up the victory. The Knicks drew even with Bal- timore at 1-1, whipping the Bul- lets 110-88. Walt Frazier, who finished with 30 points to lead all scorers, hit 19 in the first half as the Knicks piled up a commanding 56-38 lead at the intermission. Dave DeBusschere had 29 and Jerry Lucas 20 for the Knicks, while Archie Clark, who had 38 in Baltimore's opening game vic- tory, was limited to 18. Milwaukee pulled ahead of Golden State in their series by beating the Warriors 122-94 Sat- urday night. The NBA playoffs resume withl games at Atlanta, Baltimore, Chi- cago and Golden State tonight. Kentucky, the Floridians and Den- ver host Tuesday's ABA playoff action. V "P. DISCOUNT Compare Our Everyday Prices 2-OZ. BARNES-HIND Wetting Solution $'.33 7 OZ. HEAD AND SHOULDERS SHAMPOO $1.44 16 OZ. WELLA BALSAM Hair Conditioner Reg. or Extra Body $2.38 Reg. 69c 3 991 Pepsodent Toothbrushes ALL KINDS 6.75 OZ. CREST Reg, or Mint 79c 213 S. STATE ARCA D E r IT CAN'T BE DESCRIBED- IT MUST BE EXPERIENCED 1217 SOUTH UNI V ERSI TY "ow'D GRAD COFFEE HOUR Wed., April 5 4-6 p.m. 4th Fl. Rackham NHL Final Standings Boston New York Montreal Toronto Detroit Buffalo Vancouver Chicago Minnesota St. Louis Pittsburgh Philadelphia California Los Angeles East Division W L T Pts 54 13 11 119 48 17 13 109 46 16 16 108 33 31 14 80 33 35 10 76 16 42 19 51 20 50 8 48 West Division 46 17 15 107 37 29 12 86 28 39 11 67 26 38 14 66 26 38 14 66 21 39 18 60 20 49 9 49 GF 330 317 307 209 261 203 190 256 212 208 220 200 216 206 WEST DIVISION Tomorrow Pittsburgh at Chicago St. Louis at Minnesota GA 204 Thursday 192 Pittsburgh at Chicago 205 St. Louis at Minnesota 208 Saturday 262 Chicago at Pittsburgh 289 Minnesota at St. Louis 288 Sunday Chicago at Pittsburgh 166 Minnesota at St. Louis 191. 247 Tuesday, April 11 258 Pittsburgh at Chicago, if necessary, 236, St. Louis at Minnesota, if necessary 288, <. }i Criser Arena Sot., April 8 2:00 P.M. Tickets on sale at the U-M Ticket Office, 1000 S. State Street (662- 3238). Mail Orders accepted. All seats re- served $5.00 - $4.00 - $3.00 - $2.00 U - M Students - Staff (With I.D.) $3.00 305 EAST DIVISION Tomorrow Montreal at New York Toronto at Boston Thursday Montreal at New York Toronto at Boston Saturday New York at Montreal Boston at Toronto' Sunday New York at Montreal Boston at Toronto Tuesday, April 11 Montreal at New York, if necessary Toronto at Boston, if necessary Thursday, April 13 New York at Montreal, if necessary Boston at Toronto, if necessary Saturday, April 15 or Sunday, April 16 Montreal at New York, if necessary Toronto at Boston, if necessary i Thursday, April 13 Chicago at Pittsburgh, if necessary Minnesota at St. Louis, if necessary Saturday, April 15 or sunday, April 16 Pittsburgh at Chicago, if necessary St. Louis at Minnesota, if necessary TODAY'S NBA GAMES Eastern Conference Boston at Atlanta New York at Baltimore Western Conference Los Angeles at Chicago Milwaukee at Golden State Thursday Eastern Conference Baltimore at New Cork, afternoon Western Conference Golden State at Milwaukee Friday Eastern Conference Atlanta at Boston Western Conference Golden State at Milwaukee, if necessary I Chicago at Los Angeles, if necessary ABA PLAYOFF Utah 113, Dallas 107 Lemonade and Cake for all Hopwood Awards Lecture CAROLINE GORDON Novelist and Critic, Winner of the O.Henry Memorial Award "THE 'SHAPE OF THE RIVER " RACKHAM LECTURE HALL Wednesday, April 5, at 8:00 P.M. The Hopwood Awards in Writing will be presented after the lecture PUBLIC INVITED WE HAVE 16 PEOPLE TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR APARTMENT NEEDS. ONE OF US WILL WORK HARD TO HELP YOU FIND AN APARTMENT, THE REST OF US WILL TRY OUR BEST TO KEEP YOU HAPPY WITH IT. WE THINK IT'S THE SERVICE YOU GET AFTER YOU SIGN THE.LEASE THAT COUNTS. VISIT US SOON. 665-8825 ?Aeewrf#~p U I L/ 3M Brand PHOTOCOPIES Planning for a Warless World: THE ROLE OF PEACE RESEARCH IN THE UNIVERSITY Tues., April 4-7:15 p.m. B-115, Modern Language Building DISCUSSANTS: CHRISTIAN BAY, co-founder, Institute for Social Research, Oslo, Norway f ~~~ ~ 1 1 V11 C e._CD !, Ai a r,+ -fnD~li+;- e \ic~-c THE LOWEST PRICE IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE! 3c nor enno--4c forhnboks 3 cents k .' p