'PAGE TLS'
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER I6, 1965
PAGE TEN FIlE MICHIGAN DAILY TUESDAY. NOVEMBER 16, 1965
LLOYD GRAFF
Could Even The Beatles
Have Asked for More
This letter came in the mail last Friday in an envelope held together
with red sealing wax dripped in the shape of a heart. There was no
return address.
Dear Lloyd,
This is to inform you of the organization of the newly-formed
"LLOYD GRAFF, WE LOVE YOU, FAN CLUB." We wish to explain
the ceremonies of our club.
1) Intense contemplation of your column in every Daily we
stumble across. We even rummage through garbage cans.
2) Recitation three times daily, facing East of the Five Pillars
of Devotion:
a) Lloyd Graff is witty.
b) Lloyd Graff is heavy on the smarts.
c) Lloyd Graff is a True Seeker of Knowledge.
d) Lloyd Graff knows what counts.
e) Lloyd Graff is darling.
EVERYBODY'S HOPEFUL:
Grid World Buzzes About Bowls
By The Associated Press Berths in the other major bowls, sidetracked by a loss to Texas the Sugar Bowl with Missouri.
Post-season bowl bid specula- however, are not nearly as clear- Tech Saturday. Georgia Tech and Missouri have
tions are at a premium now that cut. If the Razorbacks do win, they already accepted their respective
will face either Tennessee or Au- invitations.
ishe egular season is nearly fin- Nebraska, first of all, upset the burn. Florida and Tulsa also remain
s applecart by rejecting a return Texas Tech, on the other hand, hopeful for proposals from bowl
Michigan State, clinching the performance in the Cotton Bow could wind up the in th Gato comttees o take part in the
Big en row wih aperect7-0in favor of a bid to the Orange Bowl against Georgia Tech or in New Year's Day fun.
record, has earned a trip to Pasa- Bowl. Alabama, from all indica---
dena and the Rose Bowl. All that tions, will tangle with the Corn-
remains to insure the appearance huskers in the Orange Bowl, if itCee tg
of the Spartans in the Battle oft by Aubu
Roses is the formality of votinggesrintsfalamc-
by the conference coaches.
MSU's opponent should be either
Southern California or UCLA, de-
pending upon the outcome of Sat-
urday's encounter between the
two teams. The winner of the
tussle will also claim a share of
the Pacific conference title.
Cotton Bids Sticky
The Cotton Bowl situation has
even more if's attached, with at'
least four prospective candidates.
Defending champion Arkansas, a
10-7 winner over Nebraska last
year, appears to be in the driver's
seat but could theoretically get
BIG EIGHT
Nebraska
Missouri
Colorado
Oklahoma
Iowa State
Kansas
Oklahoma State
Kansas State
W L
6 0
5 1
4 2
3 2
3 3
2 4
0 5
Q 6
GRID SELECTIONS
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0
I
a
0
0
0
T
0
0
U
0
0
,i
A
AL
F.o
Mi
G
T
V
anderbilt
1 4 {
SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE
W L'
uburn 4 0 1
labania 5 1
lorida 4 2 1
ississippi 4 3I
eorgia 3 3 1
ennessee 1 1
SU 2 3
ississippi State 1 4 1
'ulane 1 4 1
T
I
-l
x
0
a
2
0
0
The total membership of the LLOYD GRAFF, WE LOVE YOU, Please don't enter Grid Picks if you can possibly resist the
FAN CLUB, proudly affixes its signatures below. almost overpowering urge, You see the sports staff is burdened by
Your devoted disciples, examinations, and the more entries the more grading, and the more
Barb grading the more flunk outs. Our staff is thin enough, so kindly
Susi don't enter. If you find it physiologically impossible to stay out of
the contest like last week's winnei Gregg Guffrey of 414 S. Division
Letter to My Fans you might win a pair of tickets to the Michigan Theatre, now playing
"Bunny Lake Is Missing." But it probably isn't worth the trouble.
SOUTHWEST CONFERENCE
W L
Arkansas 6 0
Texas Tech 5 1
SmU 3 2
TCU 3 2
Texas 2 4
Rice 1 4
Baylor 1 4
Texas A & M 1 5
PACIFIC CONFERENCE
WI
Southern California
UCLA
Washington State
Washington
California
Stanford
Oregon State
Oregon
4 {
3 0
2 0
3 3
2 2
1 3
0 3
0 4
L
0
T
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
711
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RUSTED?
1. If you have three apples,
and you want to divide them
among four of you, how much
does each one get?
One apiece. I don't
like apples.
I7
3. What are you going to do with
all that knowledge?
Do you need calculus
to manufacture fortune
cookies?
5. At Equitable, they even pay you
for passing actuarial exams.
You're putting me on.
2. You're not much for math either.
On the contrary. I once
went through a whole
semester of calculus-
after Phys. Ed. closed
on me during registration;
4. You might become an actuary. It's
a challenging, responsible
job-and you can make a lot
of dough.
A big income is one
of my fondest ambitions.
6. It's true. When you pass an
actuarial exam, you get an
automatic increase in your
Equitable salary. And since
there are ten exams, you could
be making quite a bundle
aftera while. But don't get
involved unless you have an
interest in math.
Dear Devoted Disciples,
With all modesty I must ask you girls why it took so long to form
this organization. After all I've been writing this column for almost
three months.. But, I'll overlook the fact that it's overdue, and say
thank you, anyway.
But why, oh why, didn't you enclose your address. I've had life-
size autographed pictures that say "With all my love, Lloyd," sitting in
my desk for weeks. They'll only cost you five bucks each, a pittance
for a picture of me.
And I've got fifty Coke bottles I've sipped from, that I'll give
away for a dollar apiece.
But really, Barb and Susi (whatever your last names are) you've
changed my life. Before the fan club I accepted B's on exams, and
tolerated the snide jabs of colleagues on the editorial staff. But now
with an image to protect I've become intensely competitive in class,
conniving for every last brownie point, and I refuse to even converse
with an edit staffer unless he shows me proper deference and addresses
me as mister.
Now that I have a following, it takes me days just to answer my
voluminous correspondence. Personal appearances and speaking en-
gagements to plug my latest column consume many more hours each
week. And it's getting terribly embarrassing in class when my pro-
fessors demand an explanation of why the football team lost be-
fore they'll start the discussions. And my concentration advisor won't
OK my program unless I make a bet with him (he names the odds)
on Saturday's game.
Little Time To Write
With fame impinging on me from all sides I've even considered
hiring a ghost writer. Actually, I'm just too busy pampering my image
to fool around with petty toilings like sportswriting.
I've always considered modesty to be my golden quality. I'm that
one rare soul out of millions who boasts to everybody of his humility,
yet retains it, all the while.Every other person I've known who cackles
about his own modesty is a blaring braggart who's slightly self-
conscious about his own braggadocio.
It's marvelous to be truly humble because you can look dowi
your snoot at all the showoffs.
Well, Barb and Susi, continue reciting the Five Pillars of De-
votion, particularly the second and fifth which are so deliciously
accurate. I give you permission to dream about me at night, but you
must always picture me at a typewriter. And remember, a lifesize
photo of your beloved can be yours for a mere five dollars.
With All My Love,
Your Ideal, Lloyd
I gM M
1. Ohio State at MICHIGAN
(pick score)
2. Michigan State at Notre Dame
3. Illinois at Northwestern
4. Purdue at Indiana
5. North Carolina St. at Iowa
6. Wisconsin at Minnesota
7. Dartmouth at Princeton
8. Tennessee at Kentucky
9. Missouri at Kansas
10. SMU at Baylor
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
California at Stanford
UCLA at Southern Cal .
Texas Tech at Arkansas
North Carolina at Duke
Oregon State at Oregon
Penn State at Pittsburgh
Wash. State at Washington
Clemson at South Carolina
Rice at Texas Christian
Livingstone at Johnson C.
Smith
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Interviews:
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My mother didn't name me
Archimedes for nothing.
For career opportunities at Equitable, see your Placement Officer, or
write to Patrick Scollard, Manpower Development Division.
The EQUITABLE Life Assurance Society of the United States
Home Office: 1285 Ave, of the Americas, New York, N. Y. 10019 C Equitable 1965
An Equal Opportunity Employer
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Second
Coming
has come
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A
Art
Barbara A.K. Adams
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Fiction
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Photography
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Peter McDonough
Non-Fiction
Robert Sheff and
and Mark Slobin
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